Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

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Dzs1653

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Dzs1653 » Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:28 pm

I would like to know whether any of you entered into this lifestyle as a result of the common problem of loss of desire in your long-term relationship. And if so, has your life as a hotwife, in addition to providing renewed excitement and pleasure for yourself, and maybe indirectly/vicariously for your husband, has it also done anything to restore your direct sexual interest toward him?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by SSQ » Wed Jul 03, 2019 7:35 am

Dzs1653 wrote:
Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:28 pm
I would like to know whether any of you entered into this lifestyle as a result of the common problem of loss of desire in your long-term relationship. And if so, has your life as a hotwife, in addition to providing renewed excitement and pleasure for yourself, and maybe indirectly/vicariously for your husband, has it also done anything to restore your direct sexual interest toward him?
Loss of desire for the husband specifically, or loss of desire in general?

If it's for the husband specifically, I think that opening the marriage is only going to prolong something that's clearly on its last legs. If you aren't even attracted to your partner anymore, I don't think that substituting out sex works. This lifestyle still builds sexual connection between the spouses, even if it's in a nontraditional way like cuckolding or denial. There's a world of difference between indifference and denial, for example.

For loss of desire in general, I don't see why the woman would want to have sex at all if she's not interested. That doesn't sound like a positive experience.

Seriously though, I think reduced sex drive is normal, but loss of desire totally is not a normal thing except on a temporary basis. I'd recommend a doctor or marriage counselor, depending on the root cause.
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by IndianLoverboy » Wed Jul 03, 2019 5:30 pm

One of the things I've seen common across here is the problem of the guy not showing up after exchanging messages and being a flake. Not only is this a great platform for cucks and hotwives but for guys like me too who are interested in being the love partner of other mens wives. My question here is what are the chances that something like a meet up can happen amongst the members here? I willing to give it a try but I'm unsure how I should approach and raises questions of doubt since couples have seen more of flakes rather than genuine people. Just trying to see if it'd work, any thoughts hotwives?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by feetuji » Thu Jul 04, 2019 9:37 am

SSQ wrote:
Wed Jul 03, 2019 7:35 am
Dzs1653 wrote:
Tue Jul 02, 2019 2:28 pm
I would like to know whether any of you entered into this lifestyle as a result of the common problem of loss of desire in your long-term relationship. And if so, has your life as a hotwife, in addition to providing renewed excitement and pleasure for yourself, and maybe indirectly/vicariously for your husband, has it also done anything to restore your direct sexual interest toward him?
Loss of desire for the husband specifically, or loss of desire in general?

If it's for the husband specifically, I think that opening the marriage is only going to prolong something that's clearly on its last legs. If you aren't even attracted to your partner anymore, I don't think that substituting out sex works. This lifestyle still builds sexual connection between the spouses, even if it's in a nontraditional way like cuckolding or denial. There's a world of difference between indifference and denial, for example.

For loss of desire in general, I don't see why the woman would want to have sex at all if she's not interested. That doesn't sound like a positive experience.

Seriously though, I think reduced sex drive is normal, but loss of desire totally is not a normal thing except on a temporary basis. I'd recommend a doctor or marriage counselor, depending on the root cause.
I agree with you. I would say that my interest in a cuckold relationship (not happening unfortunatly)is based on my atraction and interest in my wife. In fact, the opposite is also true and happening: for some reason the sexual drive of my wife is low, and as a consequence my interest in cuckoldry is not so high as usual.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:38 am

I was reading another thread viewtopic.php?f=6&t=54726 and it was really hard to read but one thing came out of it that had an immediate and clear response from VHW's. The OP placed a hidden cam in his bedroom and filmed his wife without her knowledge or consent admittedly. There were obvious statements as to the husband and a friend conspiring to bring this to fruition. It was difficult to ascertain specifics as to whether she told her husband she was having these trysts or that she knew he was aware of them. It also happened many times over the next several months so it seemed like she had interests of her own. The OP never said he shared the videos with anyone in any way. I get that he wants to see details instead of hearing about them. I'M NOT ADVOCATING THIS! I may be a devil's advocate for this specific instance only for discussion sake.

If both sides are not upfront with each other then is what he did as bad or worse? If does nothing more than use the videos for his own personal pleasure to masturbate to has he really violated her privacy? It is his home. Is this more of a misdemeanor or a felony? From the replies I read whenever this comes up the OP usually gets torched hard (deservedly so for most), but is there a gray area? Just asking, don't kill me please!
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:33 am

coastalkid wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:38 am
I was reading another thread viewtopic.php?f=6&t=54726 and it was really hard to read but one thing came out of it that had an immediate and clear response from VHW's. The OP placed a hidden cam in his bedroom and filmed his wife without her knowledge or consent admittedly. There were obvious statements as to the husband and a friend conspiring to bring this to fruition. It was difficult to ascertain specifics as to whether she told her husband she was having these trysts or that she knew he was aware of them. It also happened many times over the next several months so it seemed like she had interests of her own. The OP never said he shared the videos with anyone in any way. I get that he wants to see details instead of hearing about them. I'M NOT ADVOCATING THIS! I may be a devil's advocate for this specific instance only for discussion sake.

If both sides are not upfront with each other then is what he did as bad or worse? If does nothing more than use the videos for his own personal pleasure to masturbate to has he really violated her privacy? It is his home. Is this more of a misdemeanor or a felony? From the replies I read whenever this comes up the OP usually gets torched hard (deservedly so for most), but is there a gray area? Just asking, don't kill me please!
It's really simple. He talked his buddy into coming onto his wife without any obvious conversations beforehand therefore manipulating the situation. He told his friend exactly where she would be and told him to basically go for it.
Then he and the friend again without the wife's knowledge arranged to hide a camera to video tape the action so he could watch it later.
There is no gray area. He manipulated the situation to get what he wanted and didn't disclose the information to his wife.
Did she enter into an affair? Yes but I doubt it would have happened with that man in that situation without her husband manipulating the events.
We talk about open communication here.
Read the rules on the link above and specifically the one about not trying to seduce an unknowing wife. (Rule 2.2)

Yes he violated her privacy! She has the right to give consent or refuse to give consent to any and all pictures and videos of herself. It is her body and she is the only one to give permission over it.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Mon Jul 08, 2019 12:37 pm

I kind of figured as much. A breach of trust and honesty is a breach nonetheless. The volatile nature of pictures and video can make for serious misuse in the wrong hands. Thanks for your answer 2inUPMichigan.
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I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by The_Lion » Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:41 pm

My question will seem awkward but I come from a family where sex as a general discussion is held with little to no censer. Only the gory specifics are redacted. So I will ask a version of the question I have recently had to ask my Mother.

VHWs, if your daughter approached you in confidence that her husband/bf wanted them as a Hotwife/Cuckoldress and they didn't know what to do how would you handle the situation?
How my Fox got started. - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=53453

I'll never be a Father, so I became a Daddy.-
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=54971&p=998811#p998811

Out4fungirl

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Out4fungirl » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:33 pm

The_Lion wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:41 pm
VHWs, if your daughter approached you in confidence that her husband/bf wanted them as a Hotwife/Cuckoldress and they didn't know what to do how would you handle the situation?
The same way I handle any other problem my daughter presents to me- we discuss it. Would I steer her towards or away from this relationship? No. I'd ask her pointed questions and let her listen to her own answers, and thus make her own decision. Would I out my husband and myself by telling her of our lifestyle? No way, my children have no need to know what happens behind their parents bedroom door.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by The_Lion » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:55 pm

Out4fungirl wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:33 pm
The_Lion wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:41 pm
VHWs, if your daughter approached you in confidence that her husband/bf wanted them as a Hotwife/Cuckoldress and they didn't know what to do how would you handle the situation?
The same way I handle any other problem my daughter presents to me- we discuss it. Would I steer her towards or away from this relationship? No. I'd ask her pointed questions and let her listen to her own answers, and thus make her own decision. Would I out my husband and myself by telling her of our lifestyle? No way, my children have no need to know what happens behind their parents bedroom door.
It would be a bizarre question for most mother's to have to field. I appreciate your candor. This question was inspired by a conversation I had recently with my mother. Not trying to be a creep.
How my Fox got started. - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=53453

I'll never be a Father, so I became a Daddy.-
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=54971&p=998811#p998811

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by stonemtncouple » Thu Jul 25, 2019 7:43 am

38kewp wrote:
Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:41 am
The_Lion wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:55 pm
Out4fungirl wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:33 pm
The_Lion wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:41 pm
VHWs, if your daughter approached you in confidence that her husband/bf wanted them as a Hotwife/Cuckoldress and they didn't know what to do how would you handle the situation?
The same way I handle any other problem my daughter presents to me- we discuss it. Would I steer her towards or away from this relationship? No. I'd ask her pointed questions and let her listen to her own answers, and thus make her own decision. Would I out my husband and myself by telling her of our lifestyle? No way, my children have no need to know what happens behind their parents bedroom door.
It would be a bizarre question for most mother's to have to field. I appreciate your candor. This question was inspired by a conversation I had recently with my mother. Not trying to be a creep.
Is mom a hotwife?
What happens when your grown children or even teenagers suspect or discover their parents are engaged in this lifestyle?
Would you ever discuss it then or just avoid the subject at all costs?

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Trixkat
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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Trixkat » Thu Jul 25, 2019 9:02 am

What happens when your grown children or even teenagers suspect or discover their parents are engaged in this lifestyle?
Would you ever discuss it then or just avoid the subject at all costs?
ironic that my mom is where I get this advice, but I've always tried to answer the question that's really being asked. the best way to explain this is if your kid asks "where do I come from?" don't just launch into the birds and the bees because your kid may end the discussion by saying "well, the new kid next door says he's from Chicago.....where do I come from?"

if my teenage son were to ask about this part of my life, I would answer him. we have a history of answering the "big scary questions" honestly and age appropriately. but if he were to ask hubs, I suspect he'd get a terse "uh, ask mom" kind of reply! :lol: :lol:
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by The_Lion » Thu Jul 25, 2019 10:36 am

38kewp wrote:
Thu Jul 25, 2019 3:41 am
The_Lion wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:55 pm
Out4fungirl wrote:
Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:33 pm
The_Lion wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:41 pm
VHWs, if your daughter approached you in confidence that her husband/bf wanted them as a Hotwife/Cuckoldress and they didn't know what to do how would you handle the situation?
The same way I handle any other problem my daughter presents to me- we discuss it. Would I steer her towards or away from this relationship? No. I'd ask her pointed questions and let her listen to her own answers, and thus make her own decision. Would I out my husband and myself by telling her of our lifestyle? No way, my children have no need to know what happens behind their parents bedroom door.
It would be a bizarre question for most mother's to have to field. I appreciate your candor. This question was inspired by a conversation I had recently with my mother. Not trying to be a creep.
Is mom a hotwife?
Mom was asked to be a Hotwife by her first Husband, my biological father.
How my Fox got started. - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=53453

I'll never be a Father, so I became a Daddy.-
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=54971&p=998811#p998811

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by smallybigg2019 » Thu Jul 25, 2019 1:21 pm

Being a masculine male and dominating my wife for years, after her infidelity, I now find myself enjoying being cucked. Sometimes when she nears orgasm she screams his name and says she wants me to let him cum in my mouth.

My question is why does this turn her on? Is it some type of revenge or is she being directed by her FB?

Not concerned, just curious I suppose.

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by feetuji » Sun Jul 28, 2019 3:24 am

QUESTION:. Do you hotwives feel aroused by seeing your husbands dominated sexualy by your lovers? What things excite you most?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by stonemtncouple » Mon Jul 29, 2019 5:26 pm

Question for VHW’s.
Where do you shop for clothes to wear on a average work day? Not a date night or club wear. Clothes that are sexy, a little reveling, appropriate for work and still gets you looks from horny men.
My wife wants to start wearing more sexy clothes daily. She’s found some things at a online site “Venus” but welcome your suggestions please. Thank you

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by adamgunnauthor » Wed Jul 31, 2019 5:27 am

This is a question particularly for 2inUPMichigan, but I encourage other hotwives to comment.

In a post on June 7, you were commenting to LifeIsFun about a gentleman that she only saw one time, and then he faded away. You said you had a similar experience and, “Do I regret my experience with him? No it really was good - but I wish I had known that it was going to be only one time, I might have made some different choices.”

My question to you is, what different choice would you have made? Would you have decided not to see him at all, or would you have done something different with him?

I appreciate all the hotwives that comment on this thread!

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by coastalkid » Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:26 am

How many of you hot wives have vanilla friends that you think would love being a hot wife if they tried it? As a follow up, do any of you have a close confidant girlfriend that you see in person that you talk about your lifestyle with? Did any of you have a friend that helped you decide to become or be more comfortable about or influenced you in any way about becoming a hot wife? Lastly, do most of your friends have a "traditional" lifestyle?
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Gardener » Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:53 am

My question for verified hotwives: should I tell my wife about this site so that she can have a look and talk to some other women about her fantasies? This might include getting verified so she can join the discussion going on in that section.

Some background: we are a couple around 40yrs old with a very strong marriage. Her libido took a hit after having 2 kids, but it is starting to come back. She recently told me that sometimes when I'm going down on her she thinks about being with another guy. The scenarios she has told me about involve me watching or a mfm threeway. I found this really hot and I was very happy that she confided this in me, especially since I thought she had lost interest in sex. We have talked a bit about these fantasies in and out of the bedroom. I try to come back to the conversation now and then without pestering her about it.

I think we feel pretty comfortable in the fantasy stage. I'm not looking to push it past there, but I would like her to explore this more and possibly get her to articulate her desires more especially if it gets her excited. Do you think talking with some other wives might help?

I think she is pretty happy with me sexually. She has told me I'm a much better lover than any guys she has been with and the idea of making this fantasy a reality does not appeal to her partially for that reason. But we do like how the fantasy gets us both going. I don't know how I would feel about this fantasy becoming a reality, but I would like to encourage her to keep reawakening sexually and I'm more open to the idea than I thought I would be if it can achieve this. One thing that really appeals to me about the idea of her becoming a hotwife is how it seems to boost women's libidos and confidence. She look amazing for someone her age who has had two kids and I would like for her to realize this more.

Thanks
G

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Trixkat » Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:45 am

Gardener wrote:
Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:53 am
My question for verified hotwives: should I tell my wife about this site so that she can have a look and talk to some other women about her fantasies? This might include getting verified so she can join the discussion going on in that section.

Some background: we are a couple around 40yrs old with a very strong marriage. Her libido took a hit after having 2 kids, but it is starting to come back. She recently told me that sometimes when I'm going down on her she thinks about being with another guy. The scenarios she has told me about involve me watching or a mfm threeway. I found this really hot and I was very happy that she confided this in me, especially since I thought she had lost interest in sex. We have talked a bit about these fantasies in and out of the bedroom. I try to come back to the conversation now and then without pestering her about it.

I think we feel pretty comfortable in the fantasy stage. I'm not looking to push it past there, but I would like her to explore this more and possibly get her to articulate her desires more especially if it gets her excited. Do you think talking with some other wives might help?

I think she is pretty happy with me sexually. She has told me I'm a much better lover than any guys she has been with and the idea of making this fantasy a reality does not appeal to her partially for that reason. But we do like how the fantasy gets us both going. I don't know how I would feel about this fantasy becoming a reality, but I would like to encourage her to keep reawakening sexually and I'm more open to the idea than I thought I would be if it can achieve this. One thing that really appeals to me about the idea of her becoming a hotwife is how it seems to boost women's libidos and confidence. She look amazing for someone her age who has had two kids and I would like for her to realize this more.

Thanks
G
absolutely invite her here! us VHWs are at all different stages of this journey and are more than happy to share our experiences.
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

rascalnvixen

Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:57 am

Trixkat wrote:
Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:45 am
Gardener wrote:
Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:53 am
My question for verified hotwives: should I tell my wife about this site so that she can have a look and talk to some other women about her fantasies? This might include getting verified so she can join the discussion going on in that section.

Some background: we are a couple around 40yrs old with a very strong marriage. Her libido took a hit after having 2 kids, but it is starting to come back. She recently told me that sometimes when I'm going down on her she thinks about being with another guy. The scenarios she has told me about involve me watching or a mfm threeway. I found this really hot and I was very happy that she confided this in me, especially since I thought she had lost interest in sex. We have talked a bit about these fantasies in and out of the bedroom. I try to come back to the conversation now and then without pestering her about it.

I think we feel pretty comfortable in the fantasy stage. I'm not looking to push it past there, but I would like her to explore this more and possibly get her to articulate her desires more especially if it gets her excited. Do you think talking with some other wives might help?

I think she is pretty happy with me sexually. She has told me I'm a much better lover than any guys she has been with and the idea of making this fantasy a reality does not appeal to her partially for that reason. But we do like how the fantasy gets us both going. I don't know how I would feel about this fantasy becoming a reality, but I would like to encourage her to keep reawakening sexually and I'm more open to the idea than I thought I would be if it can achieve this. One thing that really appeals to me about the idea of her becoming a hotwife is how it seems to boost women's libidos and confidence. She look amazing for someone her age who has had two kids and I would like for her to realize this more.

Thanks
G
absolutely invite her here! us VHWs are at all different stages of this journey and are more than happy to share our experiences.
As a follow up to Trixkat's post, is a woman who is interested in or has fantasies about being a HW but is not yet a HW, eligible to be a VHW, even if she hasn't taken the leap yet? (Or should that be hasn't taken the plunge yet?) I think I know the answer but I thought it would be a learning question for Gardener, his wife and others that may be in a similar situation.

Rascal

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Trixkat » Thu Aug 01, 2019 10:38 am

rascalnvixen wrote:
Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:57 am
Trixkat wrote:
Thu Aug 01, 2019 9:45 am
Gardener wrote:
Wed Jul 31, 2019 9:53 am
My question for verified hotwives: should I tell my wife about this site so that she can have a look and talk to some other women about her fantasies? This might include getting verified so she can join the discussion going on in that section.

Some background: we are a couple around 40yrs old with a very strong marriage. Her libido took a hit after having 2 kids, but it is starting to come back. She recently told me that sometimes when I'm going down on her she thinks about being with another guy. The scenarios she has told me about involve me watching or a mfm threeway. I found this really hot and I was very happy that she confided this in me, especially since I thought she had lost interest in sex. We have talked a bit about these fantasies in and out of the bedroom. I try to come back to the conversation now and then without pestering her about it.

I think we feel pretty comfortable in the fantasy stage. I'm not looking to push it past there, but I would like her to explore this more and possibly get her to articulate her desires more especially if it gets her excited. Do you think talking with some other wives might help?

I think she is pretty happy with me sexually. She has told me I'm a much better lover than any guys she has been with and the idea of making this fantasy a reality does not appeal to her partially for that reason. But we do like how the fantasy gets us both going. I don't know how I would feel about this fantasy becoming a reality, but I would like to encourage her to keep reawakening sexually and I'm more open to the idea than I thought I would be if it can achieve this. One thing that really appeals to me about the idea of her becoming a hotwife is how it seems to boost women's libidos and confidence. She look amazing for someone her age who has had two kids and I would like for her to realize this more.

Thanks
G
absolutely invite her here! us VHWs are at all different stages of this journey and are more than happy to share our experiences.
As a follow up to Trixkat's post, is a woman who is interested in or has fantasies about being a HW but is not yet a HW, eligible to be a VHW, even if she hasn't taken the leap yet? (Or should that be hasn't taken the plunge yet?) I think I know the answer but I thought it would be a learning question for Gardener, his wife and others that may be in a similar situation.

Rascal
like i said, we're all at varying stages in this adventure, you can have 20 years of experience or never dip your toes into this lifestyle, we're a welcoming bunch!
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Gardener » Fri Aug 02, 2019 4:41 am

Thanks Trixkat. I guess my concern is that since this is just a fantasy for us right now putting her onto this site might be a bit overwhelming.

But I think she might like a place she can talk to other women about this.

What do you think someone in her position could get out of it? Without disclosing too much of what gets discussed there, what have you and other women gotten from it?

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by Trixkat » Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:13 am

answers, support, perspectives....we're honest, compassionate, friendly. getting advice and information from "experts" (or at least women who have also walked the path) can allay fears and relieve confusion.
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

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Re: Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

Unread post by HelloPeaches » Fri Aug 02, 2019 1:05 pm

Gardener wrote:
Fri Aug 02, 2019 4:41 am
Thanks Trixkat. I guess my concern is that since this is just a fantasy for us right now putting her onto this site might be a bit overwhelming.

But I think she might like a place she can talk to other women about this.

What do you think someone in her position could get out of it? Without disclosing too much of what gets discussed there, what have you and other women gotten from it?
It can be a place to get information to help her decide what is right for her.

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