Hotwife going out alone/why is it too difficult for me?

[superb101]

I think Jake is asking too much and doesnt really understand his role.

[ugcp]

Ugcp- and thank you again.
Point well taken.
But it’s really not hubby who is interfering- it’s Jake.
After we have sex, and spend time together a few days have passed he’ll become needy and start texting me telling me he wants to see me and then then if he’s having a few drinks, he becomes very sweet, but some pushy asking me to come over late at night. He deserves more for me, but he is my first priority.
He doesn’t have enough of me at all times, so there’s the love struck angle and wanting to give love and feel love

Maybe he's just love struck . If that is all, then he will survive when you humour him and play with him, but ultimately maintain the balance that you know is best. Booty calls don't always have to be accepted, and can be appreciated for the flattering thought it implies . Getting TOO pushy can be rude, in any circumstance, so that would need to be dealt with as you would with any such behaviour from anyone.

Good luck!

[mrs_reese]

I think Jake is asking too much and doesnt really understand his role.

I think so too.
I’m working with him, hubby is growing impatient tho.
He’s worried about the stress I feel at times.
Worrying about being too selfish with our marriage because I worry about Jake.

[mrs_reese]

Ugcp- and thank you again.
Point well taken.
But it’s really not hubby who is interfering- it’s Jake.
After we have sex, and spend time together a few days have passed he’ll become needy and start texting me telling me he wants to see me and then then if he’s having a few drinks, he becomes very sweet, but some pushy asking me to come over late at night. He deserves more for me, but he is my first priority.
He doesn’t have enough of me at all times, so there’s the love struck angle and wanting to give love and feel love

Maybe he's just love struck . If that is all, then he will survive when you humour him and play with him, but ultimately maintain the balance that you know is best. Booty calls don't always have to be accepted, and can be appreciated for the flattering thought it implies . Getting TOO pushy can be rude, in any circumstance, so that would need to be dealt with as you would with any such behaviour from anyone.

Good luck!

Thanks again for all your attention with my matter.
He definitely is love struck and I really like the attention.
It can be so confusing for me because I get caught up with all this, I desire it at times, the newness of our relationship,
The feelings I have for him,
Trying to put it all together and then I have to be a married women to an amazing hubby,
At times I want both situations so much and another times I just want to be with my hubby,

[veub]

I think Jake is asking too much and doesnt really understand his role.

I think so too.
I’m working with him, hubby is growing impatient tho.
He’s worried about the stress I feel at times.
Worrying about being too selfish with our marriage because I worry about Jake.

Whenever I was involved with the wife of a married couple, the wellbeing of the husband and the health of their marriage were extremely important to me.

From my view, Jake is not at fault in any of these issues.

His role? What did he expect when he entered into this relationship? I suspect that he met a women who he really liked, found sexy and interesting. He wanted to develop a real loving relationship with her.
It was only after he was committed to her that he learned that he was supposed to care about the "the wellbeing of the husband and the health of their marriage." To expect him to do that is extremely unfair to him.

[mrs_reese]

Keep in mind that Jake knew I was married.
We are all trying to work through all this.

[GenerallySpeaking]

I'm sorry for being late to this discussion, especially since I've never commented on your thread before! As a poly man, I've seen this happen before. The rule I subscribe to is not dating monogamous people. With that in mind, the biggest mistake was trying to have a polyamorous relationship with a monogamous person. No matter what, people are going to be hurt when this happens. Jake needs to find another woman to fall in love with who either wants to share him with you or where he's willing to leave your relationship to be with her.

Poly relationships are fraught with struggles. Most nonmonogamous people can't do it. It takes a lot of compartmentalizing, shared calendars, and understandings that meet everyone's needs. And where you seem to be there, Jake isn't.

[Lookingforadventure]

Keep in mind that Jake knew I was married.
We are all trying to work through all this.

This is hard for all of you, especially because you genuinely care for each other. Im sorry that it isn't easier.

Keep working at it, and figuring out what works for you. From what I've read, you are doing a great job of that. You've got this.

[ChgoFckBuddy]

Thank you for sharing with the board your current situation. It goes to show that at the end of the day you are human with real feelings, real confusion about your feelings and real concerns about both of your partners. You appear to be in a situation that may end up with some originally not intended consequences and I certainly hope that is not the case.

As a third with a couple, my first and constant thought was respecting the couple, both of them, their feelings and most importantly their relationship. I could never come between them in their real life. Ever. I could be whatever role they wanted or needed from me but the threshold of impacting their relationship or home was one never to be crossed. I could never, nor would I ever demand more than what they safely offer. Having been a member of the forum for a good number of years and knowing couples in the lifestyle I am aware that there are plenty of “friends” that take advantage of the situation and eventually immerse themselves way more than they should and unfortunately those cases may not always end up well.

Not knowing any of you three personally I can only opine based on what I’ve read and I would suggest that you take some time to evaluate whether having feelings for a man other than your husband is healthy for you and your relationship.

Anyone that sends you messages when drinking and demanding to see you believes he may already own you and is not respecting any boundaries. To me he is way beyond the threshold, not respecting your husband, you nor your relationship and has taken advantage of the greatest gift he could’ve gotten which is the privilege of having you.

Respectfully, just my $0.02.

Be safe and thank you again for sharing.

[veub]

Keep in mind that Jake knew I was married.
We are all trying to work through all this.

Yes, but then he thought you were cheating. He didn't know of your situation or that he was supposed to be "enhancing" your relationship with Reese.

[mrs_reese]

Keep in mind that Jake knew I was married.
We are all trying to work through all this.

This is hard for all of you, especially because you genuinely care for each other. Im sorry that it isn't easier.

Keep working at it, and figuring out what works for you. From what I've read, you are doing a great job of that. You've got this.

Thank you looking for adventure

[mrs_reese]

I'm sorry for being late to this discussion, especially since I've never commented on your thread before! As a poly man, I've seen this happen before. The rule I subscribe to is not dating monogamous people. With that in mind, the biggest mistake was trying to have a polyamorous relationship with a monogamous person. No matter what, people are going to be hurt when this happens. Jake needs to find another woman to fall in love with who either wants to share him with you or where he's willing to leave your relationship to be with her.

Poly relationships are fraught with struggles. Most nonmonogamous people can't do it. It takes a lot of compartmentalizing, shared calendars, and understandings that meet everyone's needs. And where you seem to be there, Jake isn't.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me
Sharing the words of wisdom from the poly point of view, it is very helpful to me.
I’ve felt this way for a while now, even though I don’t consider hubby and I as a poly- marriage, I’ve felt that we’ve entered into a situation that is more like that than Hotwife playing.

[mrs_reese]

Thank you for sharing with the board your current situation. It goes to show that at the end of the day you are human with real feelings, real confusion about your feelings and real concerns about both of your partners. You appear to be in a situation that may end up with some originally not intended consequences and I certainly hope that is not the case.

As a third with a couple, my first and constant thought was respecting the couple, both of them, their feelings and most importantly their relationship. I could never come between them in their real life. Ever. I could be whatever role they wanted or needed from me but the threshold of impacting their relationship or home was one never to be crossed. I could never, nor would I ever demand more than what they safely offer. Having been a member of the forum for a good number of years and knowing couples in the lifestyle I am aware that there are plenty of “friends” that take advantage of the situation and eventually immerse themselves way more than they should and unfortunately those cases may not always end up well.

Not knowing any of you three personally I can only opine based on what I’ve read and I would suggest that you take some time to evaluate whether having feelings for a man other than your husband is healthy for you and your relationship.

Anyone that sends you messages when drinking and demanding to see you believes he may already own you and is not respecting any boundaries. To me he is way beyond the threshold, not respecting your husband, you nor your relationship and has taken advantage of the greatest gift he could’ve gotten which is the privilege of having you.

Respectfully, just my $0.02.

Be safe and thank you again for sharing.

Your 2 cents, it was very helpful to me.
I read your post to hubby as well.
I think in the beginning, we were in play mode, telling Jake I was married and cheating on hubby was something we wanted to do.
Jake was just the innocent bystander that I choose to play along with never knowing it would lead to this.
But i did come clean to Jake and he accepted willingly my wishes to bring him into my life.
I was sure that he understood the arrangement for the 3 of us. I have continued to guide him as the 3rd person in this relationship.
I’ll continue to be patient as this is a lot to process especially with feelings involved.
He is definitely having a difficult time adjusting to the boundaries.

[mrs_reese]

Keep in mind that Jake knew I was married.
We are all trying to work through all this.

Yes, but then he thought you were cheating. He didn't know of your situation or that he was supposed to be "enhancing" your relationship with Reese.

Jake is a big boy, after I explained to him that I wanted him as my bf and hubby was ok with this arrangement, he was very very willing to play as the 3rd.
He was willing to play with a cheating wife, he was willing to play after i was honest with him about how hubby and I play.
This isn’t a situation of “poor Jake”

[The good hub]

I find myself very drawn to this post as I can relate to some of the feelings Mr. Reese has conveyed. I want to try to read the details that specifically relate to Jake. Can you tell me when you two started with him so I can go back and catch up?

[mrs_reese]

I find myself very drawn to this post as I can relate to some of the feelings Mr. Reese has conveyed. I want to try to read the details that specifically relate to Jake. Can you tell me when you two started with him so I can go back and catch up?

Hi
Page 223 posted on March 20th a day I won’t ever forget .

[mrs_reese]

I need to just

I had a nice long phone conversation with Jake and I suggested that maybe he allows himself to date another woman. Of course he was confused and wanted to know if I was trying to end our relationship. I told him absolutely not. This is becoming complicated for everybody and we need to figure out what’s right for all three of us, he’s worried that I’m pulling away.

I mentioned many times I feel love for him and I do. I know that the love that I feel for him it’s not the same love I feel for my husband. Jake doesn’t own my soul, I’ve chosen to give that to hubby many years ago and not to be shared.
Many have asked me how do I love 2 men.
It’s not the same love.
Hubby is my soul my entire me!
Jake is love but with limitations.
I can walk away from him!
Absolutely.
But I don’t want to.

I love being Jakes gf. He’s so excited when I’m around him the way he makes me feel it’s different than when you’re in a long-term marriage because it’s all new it’s different.
Sometimes hubby is jealous too because he has to share that part with Jake and Jake definitely has my attention because he’s so cute and gorgeous.
I read all the posts by by others and life seems so much simpler just having a bull or an occasional partner to have sex with.
I know hubby feels left out a lot because of my separate life and he’s been amazing with this new relationship I have, but I know deep down he doesn’t feel connected when I play solo, I know he misses the moments when he could watch me have sex with others, which was his original intention many many years ago when he wanted me to enter this lifestyle.

[mrs_reese]

Last night, hubby and I were very intimate with no talk.
It was nice to just focus on us.
This morning I texted Jake, I am going to see him soon.
He wants to reclaim me after my sex with hubby.
Oh no

[zoe]

As each article in the Society Pages of every newspaper across the nation has always concluded ...and a good time was had by all

[mrs_reese]

As each article in the Society Pages of every newspaper across the nation has always concluded ...and a good time was had by all

I love this!
Btw, I was reclaimed
Once hubby finds out, I’m sure he’s going to want me.
Why does this girl love the attention so much ?

[lkh96]

Ma

[lkh96]

Maybe find a guy to cuck hubby & bf

[mrs_reese]

Maybe find a guy to cuck hubby & bf

Hmmmmm
Hubby and Jake do not want to be cucked tho.

But I do know if I told hubby I fucked a random hottie he’d lose his mind in a good way!

[lkh96]

Maybe you could be a naughty girl and cheat on your boyfriend and keep hubby happy

[The good hub]

Maybe you could be a naughty girl and cheat on your boyfriend and keep hubby happy

That only makes sense on a forum such as this, lol!!