I need to write and hopefully get people to respond. Long Sorry.

[aguy4pleasure]

Carrie,

I want to join the chorus!

As always I appreciate your heart felt and open sharing about both your adventures and your feelings about your adventures. It's the feeling part and how openly and honestly you share them that sets you apart and makes reading about them invaluable to me. Thank you for your courage to dare and to share.

As have others here, I share my own support for you in your struggles with where your appetites have taken you. There is a part of me that wants to "fix" the conflicts you experience, but I have to admit, the "fix" is as much for my own tension as to celebrate your release. Yes, I would love to hear you comfortable with enjoying your appetite for sex without the pain of conflict. However, I believe two things: (1) the conflict is a necessary part of your own discovery and growth; and (2) you will ultimately have to decide what's best for you.

Again, thanks for taking us all along on the adventure with you. I wish the best for you and Mike going forward.

[Toosad]

You will have a cascade of input shortly often conflicting.

I like to keep things simple. My advise is simple if you proceed do it because you want to, and only because you want to. To many man in general think with their little head and so many after the deed is done just fall apart with all kinds of issues when the actual realization comes calling.

Do not be pressured and only if you also feel you can keep your emotions in check and are not worried about actually falling for the new dude. If you know and are honest with yourself this may provide you input.

Hope this helps.

Regards
Dav

I agree. You and your husband should feel comfortable, But at the end of the day, it is you, your body and your mind. You should only do things that you accept and not "for" someone else. No one here are in the real world can tell you what you should do. Be free in your own mind.

[conflictedhubby]

Glad to see you guys back. Have to say I lost my enthusiasm to post here after you left, but I had to at least log in and say I'm glad your both well. As someone who struggles with getting stuck in his own head a lot, I emphasize with those types of thoughts Carrie. Hope you both enjoy your vacation.

[sadie]

On the other side of the story, as usual, I have a couple of questions that occured to me while reading your post. 1st, after seeing Anthony again after the gangbang, how did he respond to you? Did he have any regrets? Remorse for it not going so well for you? Did you even tell him how you were feeling? And 2nd, are you still seeing Anthony for any kind of sex at all? If not, are you and he done? And finally, 3rd, if I remember correctly, Mike was involved in the planning for that last "adventure". How did you feel about him and his part in that and how are things with you two now?

Rascal, she answered some of those in her post last Thursday, going by that, no Carrie has only seen Anthony the one time a few days after the gangbang and has been in contact just a couple of times with no plans to see him again or look for new lovers.

I think it's pretty clear Carrie wouldn't have mentioned her ambivalence / sadness to Anthony (we know his 'protective' side would kick in and also he'd likely be feeling bad about having setup something that went a step too far. Carrie, correct me if I'm wrong, however I sincerely doubt she'd lay that on him).

[hotwifelover31]

Carrie,

It pains me and certainly many others to know the exploration of your taken and consumed fantasy, which I/we craved, consumed and even encouraged, eventually culminated in feelings of shame and self loathing. You are a beautiful, sweet, intelligent and authentic soul. Your intoxicating sensuality and sexual aura are part of your persona and attractiveness but don’t define you. Mike’s loving support and adoration and your self awareness and willingness to delve into your personal history offer the opportunity for healing.

While your absence from OHW was worrisome and it’s saddening to know you have been hurting, it’s comforting to know you have been tending to yourself and not compelled to seek to please us.

Have a wonderful Bahamian vacation and keep being your authentic self.

With affection and admiration, HWL31

[rascalnvixen]

On the other side of the story, as usual, I have a couple of questions that occured to me while reading your post. 1st, after seeing Anthony again after the gangbang, how did he respond to you? Did he have any regrets? Remorse for it not going so well for you? Did you even tell him how you were feeling? And 2nd, are you still seeing Anthony for any kind of sex at all? If not, are you and he done? And finally, 3rd, if I remember correctly, Mike was involved in the planning for that last "adventure". How did you feel about him and his part in that and how are things with you two now?

Rascal, she answered some of those in her post last Thursday, going by that, no Carrie has only seen Anthony the one time a few days after the gangbang and has been in contact just a couple of times with no plans to see him again or look for new lovers.

I think it's pretty clear Carrie wouldn't have mentioned her ambivalence / sadness to Anthony (we know his 'protective' side would kick in and also he'd likely be feeling bad about having setup something that went a step too far. Carrie, correct me if I'm wrong, however I sincerely doubt she'd lay that on him).

Life is all about living and learning. We sometimes wish for things and have the chance to experience those things. Sometimes we push the envelope of our understanding of our desires. Sometimes that push is wonderful and we open ourselves to a whole new reality, but sometimes we find that push puts us in place we did not expect and it has difficult effects on us. I think this might be the situation with Carrie and Mike. To put some clarity to my thoughts in context, I don't think Mike did anything wrong!!! I think Mike was doing what any loving husband would do if he thought this was something his loving wife really was excited about and would probably enjoy. I think he did the same thing I would have done for Vixen given the same circumstances. So, I'm NOT faulting Mike in anyway!!! I'm just saying that what Carrie and Mike have been though can be a valuable lesson for most of us!!!!

Sorry if I missed something I asked about!

[conflictedhubby]

Forgive me if this seems obvious to everyone else, or if I am completely off base, but something occurred to me concerning Carries negative emotions from these latest encounters and I thought I should mention it.

Carrie, the latest encounters sounded like you had a choice: to go through with it or not. Your previous encounters gave you the comfortable illusion of the choice not being yours. It was something Mike wanted, or Anthony, etc. No matter how much you wanted it as well, you could tell yourself that this was for someone else. Since. You were already conflicted about zack, then the repair guy shows up and despite him being alpha he forced you to make a choice which is something you probably don't want to recognize. You made the choice, and it feels selfish. It's not, but making the choice makes it feel that way.
You are a sub. You want the choice to be taken from you so you don't bear responsibility for your enjoyment of the act, even if it's just the illusion of choice this is what you need.
I think a good alpha asks you want want, and then proceeds or not based on his choices and not demanding the sub to make one. If the repair guy asked what you wanted and then told you it was going to happen, you might be feeling differently. Could be why your feeling so conflicted.

[6inches]

Carrie,
I think conflicted may have something there, all your previous encounters were prearranged, this one was all you, something your not use to especially being a sub. So maybe your Cumming into your own,maybe a little less sub and little of a girl who wants what she wants (6)

[sadie]

Rascal, for sure - I've pushed my own (more often) and others' (occasionally) boundaries and that's part of growth, not always easy.

I think the main thing for me is an expectation we're not going to see Carrie pushing the envelope again at least for a long while, however she's shown my guesses to be wrong before so I'm fully prepared to be wrong here :-).

[6inches]

Hey Sadie,

got any stories? (6)

[k-s-v-65]

Dear Carrie and Mike,

some time ago while I was searching stories of hotwifing and feet ( I also have a foot fetish) google showed me your thread. I started with page 1 and your story immediately caught me. Over days I have read in this thread until I got a little impatient :-P and jumped some pages until I "finally" read something like your a hotwife now. I was really excited if that would happen. Because of the similarity of Mike and me liking feet the story became even more interesting and I have imagined that could be me on the road with my wife. Since I can remember I have a crush on feet ( especially for women +30... they have the most beautiful feet). I Admire my wifes whole body. Her boobs are amazog, her ass ist lovely...but over the time I developed this fantasy of my wife giving blowjobs to other guys ( in best case with big dicks). To make long things short, your story made me registering here ( unfortunately I had technical Problems, so I am suprised and thankful to the admins that it works now :-) )

Thank you for sharing your story and... I would love to see your feet, did you upload any pictures? I am sure Mike loves your feet with a good reason :-)

greetings!

[sadie]

Hey Sadie,

got any stories? (6)

I have and good ones, sorry I mostly don't kiss&tell here ;-)

[6inches]

Sadie, who knows who the characters are, or location or anything for that matter. Just my 2 cents (6)

[SutterKane]

Carrie I thought the same as stated by conflictedhubby when I read the story of your absence. Steve, in his own way, made you have to take ownership of your desires. That forced you into conflict with with all that you've been told about what a wife and "Good Girl" is supposed to be. Before, you could write it off as something Mike wanted or what other men wanted, keying in your submissive need. This time it was you, what you wanted and needed. My wife has this same issue. As long as she's not responsible, she up for most anything, but if she can't put the responsibility on me or her Bull, she has a very hard time dealing with the feelings that ownership of her desires and needs bring up in her.
I don't have any answers as to how to deal with that. I think that is an internal thing that you will have to find in yourself. I think that you have the strength in you you to work this out, but it may take some soul searching and time but you are that kind of woman.
Best wishes, as always.
Sutter

[willingtoo]

Good Afternoon,

Thank all of you that welcomed us back. Reading your posts made both of us feel good.

I am kind of busy getting ready for our little trip to the Bahamas so I can't write much.

Thanks to Conflictedhubby and sutterkane and Sadie for your insight into my negative feelings. I think you all are right on the money. I think making the choice myself without anyone to blame but me is part of it for sure. That combined with having 4 men at one time and Zack being Kelly's man (I haven't talked to her). He may have gotten he permission from her?

I Loved posing and teasing and it had me really turned on watching all of them obviously wanting to fuck me. But when so many men were basically taking turns I began to feel uncomfortable albeit I did cum several times. All 4 of them mounted me and went inside me at least twice as I remember. The memories are sort of blurry and I was very stoned. Cum was running down my legs like crazy after. 8 loads of sperm inside me is a lot of sperm! I was so wet it was ridiculous. More than two at once is definitely off the agenda. I feel plenty "Taken" by two men at one time.

With Anthony a few nights later I was still in the confusion mode and hadn't even begun to deal with my feelings. Anthony deserved having me as he rightly so calls it "Reclamation Sex." He told me that night that he loves me and watching me is almost like the same feelings a husband would get. As usual I gave him the best sex I am capable of giving. Pretty much the same with the foot attention and he did consume me as usual. He also used breath depravation and I had a massive, full body orgasm. He knows exactly when and how to do it so it maximizes my orgasm.

Anthony knows I do not reciprocate his deep feelings for me. I told him I am very fond of him and I love giving him my body but I will never return the Love. It just won't happen and it's pretty much up to him if we continue at some point in the future. I know at some point I will probably want to have sex with him again. He wanted me to go on the next trip with him but I declined.

I'm not sure about Vacation, but I think Mike would like to at least explore the opportunities.

I'll post again before we leave.

Carrie

[willingtoo]

Please keep responding. It means a lot to me. It's hard to get back to each of you individually but I'll try. I read every word you write many times more than once. A couple of you said in pm's that you felt bad that my recounting of the incident with Steve turned you on. I would expect nothing else and it's ok to tell me. I n fact I encourage you to let me know the things that really get you off. If Mike gets turned on, why shouldn't you. I LOVE knowing how much my writing turns you on. I get turned on reading about your erotic reactions to my adventures. The more the better. If I am sharing details, I Expect you to enjoy it.

In fact please tell me specifically what parts get you turned on the most. I Love knowing I am turning you guys on. It actually motivates me when I read your erotic thoughts.

I'm pretty sure we will continue with the Hot Wife Lifestyle. It took awhile but I'm feeling better. I needed the break for sure.

Carrie

[6inches]

Carrie,

I have to say the gang bang was so HOT I have to say how you did it is beyond me. I have never witness or participated in one, but would have loved to be the proverbial fly on the wall when it happen. If when you have time I would love to read the full story.

Question: I was kind of confused by this statement: "More than two at once is definitely off the agenda. I feel plenty "Taken" by two men at one time". Did you have a DP

(6)

[willingtoo]

Dear Carrie and Mike,

some time ago while I was searching stories of hotwifing and feet ( I also have a foot fetish) google showed me your thread. I started with page 1 and your story immediately caught me. Over days I have read in this thread until I got a little impatient :-P and jumped some pages until I "finally" read something like your a hotwife now. I was really excited if that would happen. Because of the similarity of Mike and me liking feet the story became even more interesting and I have imagined that could be me on the road with my wife. Since I can remember I have a crush on feet ( especially for women +30... they have the most beautiful feet). I Admire my wifes whole body. Her boobs are amazog, her ass ist lovely...but over the time I developed this fantasy of my wife giving blowjobs to other guys ( in best case with big dicks). To make long things short, your story made me registering here ( unfortunately I had technical Problems, so I am suprised and thankful to the admins that it works now :-) )

Thank you for sharing your story and... I would love to see your feet, did you upload any pictures? I am sure Mike loves your feet with a good reason :-)

greetings!

This is Mike- Great to find another foot lover. And especially one that also fantasizes sharing his wife with other men. In fact it is awesome!! I've wanted someone like you to share with for a long time. I will be sending you a pm soon and we can begin enjoying our Favorite Sexual Fantasy, our pretty wives with Gorgeous feet being fucked by other men!!! The guys here have been great but you are the first Foot Lover into Sharing your wife! I will find a way to share pictures of Carrie's gorgeous feet and legs!-Mike

[rascalnvixen]

Carrie,

Thanks for your thoughts, what you think and how you feel are important to most of us who are your fans. So, on the vaca, what are you planning to do there? Be a beach bum and sun all day and dance the night away with your true love?? Or will you be sight seeing or maybe snorkeling or scuba diving in some of their beautiful waters and dancing the night away with your true love? My personal favorite is diving in the waters where the reefs are just a little too far down for snorkels. Thirty to fifty feet down and the views are amazing!!! And of course, dancing the night away with Vixen!!! Whatever you plan to do, I hope you and Mike have a wonderful time over there!!!! And you will know that your fans will be anxious to know how it was!!!

Rascal

[conflictedhubby]

Something that might help you deal with the guilt of these decisions in the future is a magic coin. If Mike or anyone else isn't available to make the choice for you, Mike designates one specific coin and this one coin is not to be used for anything other than making these decisions where you want to feel no guilt. Mike mark's the coin in some way to show its the magic coin, and from then on its your guilt free token. If you want something, you get rid of the coin. Toss it in the garbage, or out the window. That one coin is Mike's permission to use it for whatever you want. If you want to be able to have that permission again, you have to ask Mike for a new coin. Or if you even want a bit of an uncertain rush, flip the coin for the decision first. The point is that the magic coin Mike gives you shifts the responsibility away from you.

Also, I do love your stories as well (fairly self evident as I have maybe posted once since you left and then three times in as many days since your return). I am not great at taking the initiative to state as much, but its pretty much guaranteed that any update you post that has even a hint of sex in it gets me off more than most porn

[hotwifelover31]

Carrie,

Knowing you are feeling better is as uplifting as any of your tantalizing erotic adventures. While us hotwife obsessed horn dogs largely come here to hear about the sexual activities of those who are exploring or engaging in the various permutations of non-monogamy, we are pulled in much deeper by a handful of contributors who allow us to observe and, to a degree, tangentially participate in their journey. Your sexual persona, your submissive nature, and visions of your petite sexiness had me and many others infatuated for the start and even more so as you and Mike shared so much of yourself with us. But for me and undoubtedly many others, our adoration for you and Mike transcended our carnal and prurient interests. We absolutely and genuinely care more about your well-being and happiness. We all hope that the beautiful person who did not receive vital maternal nurturing and was sexually abused (or, at the least, taken advantage of) as a young girl can love herself as much as Mike does and, albeit two-dimensional bystanders, many of us do.

I’d be mendacious if I failed to acknowledge that the episode with Steve (and all your others) was a huge turn on for me, once my initial fear he may have raped you was allayed. What turned me on was your submissivity and sexual cravings signaling to Steve that you were his for the taking and that he made you beg to be fucked. We haven’t had the pleasure that often of you verbalizing your desires with Anthony or any of the privileged men who have taken and consumed you and, for me, that’s is a huge turn on. You wanted to be taken and you made it happen! And that you did so without Mike’s awareness or blessing beforehand also excited me, solely because we know how much he would be turned on be it. I’m fairly confident a large part of Mike’s desire to pursue this journey was to give you the freedom to embrace your sexual persona. I know you would never deceive or betray him, which you did not in any manner. But getting fucked without him knowing beforehand turned me on immensely.

Selfishly, I do hope you and Mike continue exploring your sexual fantasies, cravings and, if you will, needs in the lifestyle, largely because (or, at least, hopefully), we get to ride along and not lose the continued joy (sexual and beyond just that) you have bestowed upon us.

Have a wonderful time in the Bahamas and be kind to yourself!

With endless admiration and both genuine and lustful adoration, HWL31

[willingtoo]

Good morning,

We are off the Bahamas tomorrow. We are taking a cruise over. It's a very short trip from Lauderdale. We plan to just relax, snorkel and maybe do some gambling in Bimini. I'm pretty sure Mike wants to go out dancing at least one night and have me flirt the last night or so like we did in Grand Cayman. I'm ready to at least flirt and maybe if the right Dom shows up go further.

I'm feeling much better thanks in part to the comments some of you made. Also enough time has elapsed to get over it. Just no more multiple men at one time. Two is the limit.

We have decided that I will definitely see Anthony again hoping he can deal with his strong feelings for me. I know how I feel and if he can handle it we may start seeing each other again. We have talked a few times since the last event months ago. He is just so sexy and knows what I like and my limits. His cock is amazing. He is also very much into my feet which I Love. That kind of man is hard to find. Huge Dom that Loves my feet. He knows exactly how to use the breath deprivation technique. I never know if or when it's coming which adds to the thrill and the orgasm. It happens sometimes when I least expect it. It's still scary when he does it, but OMG the orgasms are out of this world. Anthony knows what he's doing and knows how to "Consume" me

Please keep responding and be specific about what turns you on. Mike and I love hearing how our journey turns you on. No such thing as too much. It also lets me know what turns you on so I make sure I don't leave out any details that you like.

I may post from the Bahamas but don't count on it OK?

Carrie

[6inches]

Thanks Carrie for the update, looking forward to the next chapter in "Carrie and Mike the new adventures" (6)

[rascalnvixen]

Carrie,

I have a smile on my face right now!! Why? Because I just saw a little glimmer of a Carrie we used to know!!!! What I'm saying is that it seems that you are rebounding nicely from your experience. Happy to see that you have an interest in the flirt and that other things are not totally out of the question, if the circumstances are right. It seems you are getting your spark back!!!!!! I'm sure Mike has a smile on his face as well!!

Have a great time in the Bahamas!!

Rascal

[SutterKane]

Have fun Carrie and Mike! We'll be waiting to hear about your fun time when you get back!