New and still figuring it all out

[rascalnvixen]

And then at the end of the night when I handed him the written version of the scene that I had orchestrated.....he was stunned to read that I had correctly written what his actions and reactions would be. He was pleased that I gave him a printed copy to keep.
Just enjoying the memories

Really?? What a wonderful surprise that was to give to him!! I love the idea of you thinking THAT much into the planning for the evening AND anticipating his reactions so well. No doubt, you are a special kind of lover and I hope your lovers appreciate that!!!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

And then at the end of the night when I handed him the written version of the scene that I had orchestrated.....he was stunned to read that I had correctly written what his actions and reactions would be. He was pleased that I gave him a printed copy to keep.
Just enjoying the memories

Really?? What a wonderful surprise that was to give to him!! I love the idea of you thinking THAT much into the planning for the evening AND anticipating his reactions so well. No doubt, you are a special kind of lover and I hope your lovers appreciate that!!!

Rascal

The perks of being the FWB of an erotica writer

[2inUPMichigan]

What to do, what to do.....it appears I have attracted the attention of a much younger man.
So far his emails sound good, he has been in the swinging lifestyle for 9 years.
I'm going to see where it goes with D.

I've also been in contact with another new man R who I recently moved up from the "minor league" to the major league to see if he will be the right fit for the third spot on the "roster". (I swear I have no idea why all the baseball terms)

I had hoped things were finally going in the right direction with SL but he has been back from vacation a couple weeks and eventhough we have been in contact there was no mention of us getting together. I'm not waiting for him.

So although I had an awesome time with H this week I'm still planning for the future with the hope that I can slow down the search very soon!!

This hotwife stuff is exhausting!!

[rascalnvixen]

The fourth spot in the batting order is called the Clean Up position! May be you could have a fourth guy in reserve in case one of your main three strike out!! That younger guy might be available in a quick call to the "Bull Pen" to be the closer or the relief pitcher. I know, baseball, but they are relevant!! I always thought three for you would be too few, scheduling and all that. That gives you one a week!! Good luck.

[2inUPMichigan]

The fourth spot in the batting order is called the Clean Up position! May be you could have a fourth guy in reserve in case one of your main three strike out!! That younger guy might be available in a quick call to the "Bull Pen" to be the closer or the relief pitcher. I know, baseball, but they are relevant!! I always thought three for you would be too few, scheduling and all that. That gives you one a week!! Good luck.

I need to learn more baseball terms apparently..... forth spot is Clean up? Huh, didn't know that!
I do have someone else that has been interested in a place "in the batting order". Maybe I'll have to consider that.
Besides I have to give these guys some time to recover in between play dates since I wear them out!

Scheduling is an issue because I am so far from everything. I gave the younger guy the information about my writing last night....... if that didn't scare him off I'll see what happens.

[2inUPMichigan]

In looking back over my thread I feel sad for the changes I see, not the changes in me or my relationship because those are all positive..... but the changes in what I'm comfortable posting about. When I first started this thread I didn't sensor myself as much.....I was more open with what I posted.
Now I doesn't feel as safe to post things that truly matter......
I was thinking about posting a picture but I would have no way of knowing if someone would take my picture and post it somewhere else and that would make me sick to my stomach.

[rascalnvixen]

2UP, that is VERY understandable, but you weren't intending to post a pic with any identifying features, were you? If the pic can't be attributed to you personally, why the hesitation? Personally, I'd LOVE to see you post more! From what I have seen, I think most of us would like to see you post more pics!!! I certainly haven't seen anything so grotesque that I can't appreciate another one!!! Please reconsider within your level of comfort.

[coastalkid]

In looking back over my thread I feel sad for the changes I see, not the changes in me or my relationship because those are all positive..... but the changes in what I'm comfortable posting about. When I first started this thread I didn't sensor myself as much.....I was more open with what I posted.
Now I doesn't feel as safe to post things that truly matter......
I was thinking about posting a picture but I would have no way of knowing if someone would take my picture and post it somewhere else and that would make me sick to my stomach.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I know you took issue with me once and I have regretted it ever since. So, I hope I'm not a part of why you feel the way you do! All I ever really wanted from this site is to know what was really important to women in this lifestyle and how they maintain it in real life not in a fantasy. Unfortunately, that isn't all that easy either. It's so easy to be misunderstood here that most times it's better just to let go and be a lurker. I don't think you should post a picture unless you can assure your anonymity and feel happy about doing so (just my thoughts on it). I hope your feelings change about posting here.

[2inUPMichigan]

Coastalkid my comments weren't directed at anything you said.

This is bled over from the feeling of what is going on in general here. I understand why many VHW's have posted less and less, why they don't feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and their experiences.
I just have to think about whether or not this is still a safe place for me personally.

Rascal

No of course my face would not have been visible but if I don't feel safe sharing my thoughts..... why would I share a picture? I was after all doing it for me and not for anyone here.
I just don't think I trust that members would only look at my picture.

I don't have doubt that I would get positive comments based on what my FWB's have said about these pictures, but again I wasn't intending to post it looking for attention. This was simply a way to expand my boundaries.

[coastalkid]

Thank you!

[2inUPMichigan]

Well that does it! The younger guy is just too vanilla for me.....nice guy, but just too nice and boring. We were emailing every day for a week and I really tried to find something about him that would grow into a spark and just.....nothing!
So he's tall, so he's hot, so he's 32 .....who cares when I'm bored! I haven't responded in a couple days because I know I have to send him an email telling him we aren't a match but I can't come up with a reason other than - it's not going to work because I'm bored.

This is why I put in my profile that what they write should capture my attention. If they can't capture my attention in an email why bother meeting? It would be a waste of both of our times.

[rascalnvixen]

Why hesitate? I know you can tastefully let him know the score! Oh, damn! Another baseball euphemism! Sorry!

[Trixkat]

I would suggest something like "I appreciate the conversation but I'm just not feeling the spark I'm looking for, good luck in your search" or some variation.

you feel how you feel here, no need to continue if you aren't interested.

[2inUPMichigan]

And that's the problem....I go to type it up and what comes to mind?

"You struck out before you even got to bat." (no that won't work)
"I'm taking you out of the line up." (that's even worse)
"I'm looking for another pinch hitter." (yeah didn't even look that one up yet)

When I asked him what he thought of lingerie his answer was ......"I only like it if it is tasteful" ......yeah that's not going to work for me - LMAO.....Ahem, I meant to say.....oh really?

I really want to respond to that email with a picture of me in some trashy lingerie or head to toe leather and tell him that I am too much for him to handle - LMAO - but no I'm trying to be good!

I get the impression that he has been accustomed to women that are older than him choosing him in the past just because of his age - but that doesn't do anything for me.

Here is a very good example of someone who doesn't understand that he has to turn me on if he wants to meet me. He doesn't get to wait until he meets me to get that chance because it won't happen then.

[2inUPMichigan]

I would suggest something like "I appreciate the conversation but I'm just not feeling the spark I'm looking for, good luck in your search" or some variation.

you feel how you feel here, no need to continue if you aren't interested.

I will come up with something nice and appropriate when I do send him the email...... just still in the "bummed out" stage that yet nother one went nowhere.

[rascalnvixen]

Maybe he has always been expected to address women as fine delicates and should never be rowdy or suggestive of physical exploits. You know what I mean, can't find the right words right now. I guess he doesn't want to possibly "disrespect" by speaking in naughty or suggestive terms. Is there anything about him that is attractive to you? Is he the youngest that you have ever considered? You never know what he might bring to bed with him in terms of his sexual prowess. Maybe try to lead him in a little chat to try to draw him out, but I can imagine you have already done that! Your fun, your choice.

[2inUPMichigan]

Maybe he has always been expected to address women as fine delicates and should never be rowdy or suggestive of physical exploits. You know what I mean, can't find the right words right now. I guess he doesn't want to possibly "disrespect" by speaking in naughty or suggestive terms. Is there anything about him that is attractive to you? Is he the youngest that you have ever considered? You never know what he might bring to bed with him in terms of his sexual prowess. Maybe try to lead him in a little chat to try to draw him out, but I can imagine you have already done that! Your fun, your choice.

See that's exactly what I am saying....I tried being flirty and .....nothing, his comments back to me don't give me anything to work with ...he has been in the lifestyle 9 years but never had a long term situation?
I mentioned that I write erotica and I basically got "that's interesting".....
I just don't seem to find the younger guys (that I have heard from) very mentally stimulating I guess.... if I'm bored during the email phase I could care less what they look like because they just became less attractive to me. Seriously he could strip naked in front of me and I would walk away ....... and the pictures I have seen so far of him show he is really attractive.

I just want to shake him and say wake up! If he thinks sex begins after you take your clothes off he missed quite a bit of education!! I have no interest in mechanical sex - no where near as fulfilling as when your mind is engaged! If they can't turn on my mind then I'll pass. That is part of what we talk about when mentioning connection..... mental attraction.

[rascalnvixen]

Would you consider meeting him for a drink and a bite to eat, just to tell him to loosen up or go bye bye, just to see if it is different in person? If the guy had been in the LS for that long, he should be able to do better in person. Some guys don't communicate well in writing. Just a suggestion, although I get the idea he may have already missed your bus.

See? No euphemism!!

[2inUPMichigan]

Would you consider meeting him for a drink and a bite to eat, just to tell him to loosen up or go bye bye, just to see if it is different in person? If the guy had been in the LS for that long, he should be able to do better in person. Some guys don't communicate well in writing. Just a suggestion, although I get the idea he may have already missed your bus.

See? No euphemism!!

Ooh you did good!

Not really worth my time or energy. I've completely lost all interest. I don't see him recovering with me at all.
But I've been having a rather "stimulating" conversation with someone that just popped up this morning. Now he has a great mental game.
There is probably a reason he hasn't had long term FWB's and I think I've already found it. He might be able to perform fine in person but I'm not just looking for a performance. A FWB is a "friend with benefits" so there is some kind of connection. I think he should stick with being a FB - a fuck buddy to me is someone who just shows up for sex and then leaves with no real interaction.

[2inUPMichigan]

Cut the cord with D -sent the email last night and received a perfectly polite email back. Sweet guy but does nothing for me, it was the right decision for both of us.

Always trust your gut!!

And now I have a play date scheduled with S on Saturday who is not perfectly polite and will be up for some naughty fun! He already made a few interesting suggestions. One would include some inappropriate touching in a semi public setting.

[superb101]

The public stuff is so much fun! Don't be shy!

[SutterKane]

I hope you find what you're looking for, two or three of them in fact! You deserve it!
I think you're a sweetie,
Sutter

[2inUPMichigan]

The public stuff is so much fun! Don't be shy!

Trying to figure out how not to freeze my ass off in the process too - the low will be 22 degrees on Saturday!!
We might have to modify his idea or try when it gets warmer

[2inUPMichigan]

I hope you find what you're looking for, two or three of them in fact! You deserve it!
I think you're a sweetie,
Sutter

Thanks Sutter
I have 2 FWB's now H and S so at this point looking for that 3rd. If he can't be regular I would consider a 4th.
There is potential with a new man J we are just learning about each other and figuring out how we could meet as he is even further away! But I like his vibe.

I have a special online friend too who I will hopefully meet some day.

I am open to possibilities.

[2inUPMichigan]

Sometimes all it takes is making the right decision and another opportunity will open up.
Gotta go chatting with a man that travels to my area for hunting and fishing - sounds promising!

Maybe my profile should say "Attention all hunters and fishermen while you are in the area...... " No? Maybe I'll work on that........