New and still figuring it all out

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
6inches
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 6inches » Fri Jun 14, 2019 4:48 am

Veronica,

Here's my thoughts on the know shows. ;)

Its possible that there is a lackadaisical attitude on the part of some supposed studs or they just flat out chicken out. Maybe a solution is to have some type of commitment from these guys that this is for real and you need to prove your self. Maybe have them preform some act to say they are committed to following through, maybe have them take a selfie somewhere with their cock out or selfie in a certain location. I'm not sure it would work, but if someone is willing to jump through a couple hoops to fuck you, it kind of adds a little strength to the commitment. Just trying to give you some idea's, i read a lot about the ghosts on here and its really bad, maybe it will weed out the some of phonies. (6) :mrgreen:

2inUPMichigan
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:28 am

afagehi7 wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:12 am
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:23 pm
Trixkat and SSQ - thanks for the vote of confidence!

I feel like I took a chance on this guy by lowering my usual age limit and it bit me in the ass.
I deserve better than this. I shouldn't have to settle just because of where I live and the fact that my options are a bit more limited.

I really didn't think I was that picky but I'm not just looking for a hot body.
Here is what I want:
35-55
5'10" or taller (that is how tall I am)
prefer non-smoker
like facial hair but not necessary
has to be single or in an open relationship - no cheaters!
fwb material - no one night stands
someone with a lot of energy
has to have a sense of humor
condoms are non-negotiable
kinky is good because too much vanilla and I will be bored :)
someone who understands that sex begins in the mind - without the mental game the physical doesn't happen

Is that really so much???
2up - everything in life is a trade off. If I want a smart chick she may not be as pretty as I want or something else will suffer. I think it's that way with everything. There is always a compromise. Your requests seem reasonable but your geography limits your selection. Also, the guy you mentioned probably has a girlfriend or wife as he sounds like marriage material. I think you will find him but due to geography, it may take awhile. If you opened it up to attached guys your market would be larger but I am sure that is non-negotiable. Perhaps you could consider some travel on your side for Mr. Perfect to expand to an area that is more populated then meet halfway for a hotel? That could expand your area by a 4 hour radius if you both travel 2 areas to meet in the middle. When I was in my 20s I had an older GF and we'd meet regular in the middle and occasionally do the extra distance to each other.
If I followed your advice I would be sitting across from someone in complete physical pain (unable to play) disgusted with myself and mentally checked out......that doesn't sound like much fun to me!
I'm beginning to feel like you haven't read most of my story......the answer to your suggestions are already in my thread so I won't repeat them.

I will not be lowering my standards or changing what I am looking for. This isn't about finding some random guy to play with. This is about finding "a few select men" for long term fwb situations. I am not looking for someone that is "good enough" until the next one comes along.

I already found one man that fits so I know they are out there and I'm not going to compromise my standards and settle for less than I want, need or deserve.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:59 am

ambershere wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:34 pm
NOOOOO those are the standards that your comfortable with,and if they can’t meet them corny as it sounds it’s truly their loss. Each person has their own standards and values I applaud yours. Finally it does not matter how anyone views them, it’s how you feel about them. The End
Thank You!!
I have already found one man that fits that list in H so I know they are out there :up:
I have no intentions on settling for less than what I want.
H tells me that he doesn't understand what is wrong with the men around here that they aren't all trying to get with me! :shock:

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:05 am

SutterKane wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:11 pm
No show's in this life are such a problem that I've thought of starting an escrow service for hotwife dating. Each (Hotwife and potential lover) would place an amount in an escrow account, say $100 (or whatever amount you agree on). If both show up for the meeting, even if it's a no go, both get their money back minus a small transaction fee, say 5% of the escrow. But if only one side shows up, then that one would get their money back as well as the other side's escrow (minus the fee, of course). There would also be the option to wave the escrow defaulter's loss of escrow if it's decided that they have a good reason that is acceptable. Say a car accident, being in the hospital or death of a loved one. Might even include a rating for how many transaction were completed and not completed as well as how many waved.
Think about how much it cost you in time, money and emotional energy, just to have someone flake on you. Once they've met you and it goes well, then you could drop the escrow for future meets or not, up to you at that point. My lawyer is looking at this for me. Any one want to invest?
Does that also work for men that back out before the date? As in YG who agreed to meet me yesterday (without knowing if he was going to be in the area) then backed out before the actual day of the play date. Because if it includes those guys - the ones that we set aside a date for - then I'm in!
I have never shown up for a play date and not had someone show up in person. It is just as frustrating to set up the date, set aside plans and have someone tell you they can't make it. I've had that happen twice. Both times I was unable to replace them with someone else - so the $$ would have been my "damages" for a ruined evening?

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SutterKane
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:17 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:05 am
SutterKane wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:11 pm
No show's in this life are such a problem that I've thought of starting an escrow service for hotwife dating. Each (Hotwife and potential lover) would place an amount in an escrow account, say $100 (or whatever amount you agree on). If both show up for the meeting, even if it's a no go, both get their money back minus a small transaction fee, say 5% of the escrow. But if only one side shows up, then that one would get their money back as well as the other side's escrow (minus the fee, of course). There would also be the option to wave the escrow defaulter's loss of escrow if it's decided that they have a good reason that is acceptable. Say a car accident, being in the hospital or death of a loved one. Might even include a rating for how many transaction were completed and not completed as well as how many waved.
Think about how much it cost you in time, money and emotional energy, just to have someone flake on you. Once they've met you and it goes well, then you could drop the escrow for future meets or not, up to you at that point. My lawyer is looking at this for me. Any one want to invest?
Does that also work for men that back out before the date? As in YG who agreed to meet me yesterday (without knowing if he was going to be in the area) then backed out before the actual day of the play date. Because if it includes those guys - the ones that we set aside a date for - then I'm in!
I have never shown up for a play date and not had someone show up in person. It is just as frustrating to set up the date, set aside plans and have someone tell you they can't make it. I've had that happen twice. Both times I was unable to replace them with someone else - so the $$ would have been my "damages" for a ruined evening?
Sure, say withdrawal within 24 hours of the date could trigger the escrow terms.
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Fri Jun 14, 2019 8:09 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:59 am
ambershere wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:34 pm
NOOOOO those are the standards that your comfortable with,and if they can’t meet them corny as it sounds it’s truly their loss. Each person has their own standards and values I applaud yours. Finally it does not matter how anyone views them, it’s how you feel about them. The End
Thank You!!
I have already found one man that fits that list in H so I know they are out there :up:
I have no intentions on settling for less than what I want.
H tells me that he doesn't understand what is wrong with the men around here that they aren't all trying to get with me! :shock:
2UP,

I certainly agree with H!!! I live in a rural area as well and I don't hear the wives talk about having a hard time finding good men, but then again their standards are probably lower than yours, meaning I don't think their laundry list is as long as yours. And that works for them! And you, my friend, are admired for you commitment to your laundry list!!!! And not just by me! I'm sure it is frustrating but as you said good men are hard to find. Or is it the other way around??? :) I just hate to see you having to go through this process with this much difficulty. I wish there was something I could do to help. Please keep your list as it is and stay the course!!!! You'll be happy when it all comes together!

Rascal

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:58 am

Oh for sure! I won't settle for less because then I will be disappointed in myself and the experience won't be worth it for me.
I did get a couple responses from my "trolling" last night but I'm not sure they will turn into anything. I cast my net wide ..... :)
I have H checking out one of the men tonight and he will get back with me on whether or not he thinks the man is worthwhile or not. So glad I have him as my friend and a sounding board!!

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SutterKane
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Fri Jun 14, 2019 2:05 pm

You go, girl! As the song says "Don't go changing, to try and please me" er, "them". I'm cool with how you play the game. As long as you play and come here to tell me about it! And post a picture (Clothed) or ten!
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:13 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:58 am
I have H checking out one of the men tonight and he will get back with me on whether or not he thinks the man is worthwhile or not. So glad I have him as my friend and a sounding board!!
OMG!!! I never realized this but it seems H is your "Wingman"!!!!!!! :lol: Good for you, you should have someone that you can rely on to have your back in this situation!!!! And, NO!!! I'm not making any references to sexual positions!!!! I'm being TOTALLY serious!!! Hehehe, but I can see where your naughty mind was going!!! :)

Rascal

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:34 pm

rascalnvixen wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:13 pm
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:58 am
I have H checking out one of the men tonight and he will get back with me on whether or not he thinks the man is worthwhile or not. So glad I have him as my friend and a sounding board!!
OMG!!! I never realized this but it seems H is your "Wingman"!!!!!!! :lol: Good for you, you should have someone that you can rely on to have your back in this situation!!!! And, NO!!! I'm not making any references to sexual positions!!!! I'm being TOTALLY serious!!! Hehehe, but I can see where your naughty mind was going!!! :)

Rascal
Yes that's exactly it :!: :!: I should have explained it in guy terms :P :roll:

He isn't just my fwb he has my back and checks out the guys that I am interested in for me to make sure there aren't any red flags. He has been a swinger for many years and can spot issues that I might not be able to see right away. He knows me and I really do trust his opinion. When I first got started even before we met he answered a lot of newbie questions that hubby and I had too. So he has been a source of information almost from the start.
I talk about him a lot and refer to him because he has become more than just a fwb - I consider him a friend.
I was just texting with him in fact about the man I want him to check out for me :)

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:04 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:34 pm
rascalnvixen wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 5:13 pm
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:58 am
I have H checking out one of the men tonight and he will get back with me on whether or not he thinks the man is worthwhile or not. So glad I have him as my friend and a sounding board!!
OMG!!! I never realized this but it seems H is your "Wingman"!!!!!!! :lol: Good for you, you should have someone that you can rely on to have your back in this situation!!!! And, NO!!! I'm not making any references to sexual positions!!!! I'm being TOTALLY serious!!! Hehehe, but I can see where your naughty mind was going!!! :)

Rascal
Yes that's exactly it :!: :!: I should have explained it in guy terms :P :roll:

He isn't just my fwb he has my back and checks out the guys that I am interested in for me to make sure there aren't any red flags. He has been a swinger for many years and can spot issues that I might not be able to see right away. He knows me and I really do trust his opinion. When I first got started even before we met he answered a lot of newbie questions that hubby and I had too. So he has been a source of information almost from the start.
I talk about him a lot and refer to him because he has become more than just a fwb - I consider him a friend.
I was just texting with him in fact about the man I want him to check out for me :)
I'm so happy you have him in your corner!! It gives me some measure of comfort to know he is there for your well being.

Serious comments are over..... Now we need to find you at least two more RELIABLE FWBs!!!! Why??? So we can read twice as many stories about your awesome playtimes!!!! :lol:

Get to it, young lady!!!!!!!

Rascal

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:30 pm

No kidding! I even gave YG a perfect opening for this weekend - could have driven his truck through it! Told him I had some boring stuff to do in town but that I wanted to spend some time at the hotel hot tub while I was in town. Now seriously if you knew a woman you had the major hots for was going to be alone in a hot tub less than 2 hours away on a day when you said you had nothing to do.....wouldn't you get your ass up there and into that hot tub? Nope....no reaction from YG except for "oh fun". LOL
I don't see that situation ever happening :)
That's okay I will find a better match out there.
Sent out 3 messages today. Got 2 others from men that noticed me looking last night.
I am off to do more trolling...............throwing the net out to see what I might catch tonight :)

afagehi7

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by afagehi7 » Fri Jun 14, 2019 7:15 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Fri Jun 14, 2019 6:30 pm
No kidding! I even gave YG a perfect opening for this weekend - could have driven his truck through it! Told him I had some boring stuff to do in town but that I wanted to spend some time at the hotel hot tub while I was in town. Now seriously if you knew a woman you had the major hots for was going to be alone in a hot tub less than 2 hours away on a day when you said you had nothing to do.....wouldn't you get your ass up there and into that hot tub? Nope....no reaction from YG except for "oh fun". LOL
I don't see that situation ever happening :)
That's okay I will find a better match out there.
Sent out 3 messages today. Got 2 others from men that noticed me looking last night.
I am off to do more trolling...............throwing the net out to see what I might catch tonight :)
Unfortunately it sounds like YG was nothing more than an internet troll (I think I am using the term correctly). The hints were pretty obvious and he knew what they meant. He should have never led you on in the first place.

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:26 pm

Sent messages to 5 new men in total this week - hopefully one of them will be a winner!
Going to sleep and when I wake up......maybe there will be a message?

gulfcpl

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by gulfcpl » Sat Jun 15, 2019 2:42 am

As I've said before, the search is the frustrating part. Good men are sooooooo hard to find. They're out there, they just hide well!

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Hungry4IT » Sat Jun 15, 2019 11:28 am

My wife and I are pulling for you 2up!

We've been very busy but able to make some good contacts recently. Cut afew out too. We havnt sent out much lately but will soon cast our net again aswell.

My girl has really been getting into the chatting and has done well weeding out the shitheads before moving them to our kik group. Sure is true that the search is the frustrating part.

Best of Fortunes to ya!
Blue Goddesses King

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sat Jun 15, 2019 6:06 pm

I'm a little busy right now .....responding to the men!! Yep I got some tugs on my line (not sure why I resorted to fishing euphemisms?) and I'm deciding if I want to reel them in or toss them back into the pond!
Of the 5 men that I reached out to I have heard back from 3 of them. 2 are interested in getting to know me and the 3rd said I sounded perfect but he thinks the distance is too far. Interestingly enough of the 3 he is the closest.
I'm going to give it a shot and see if I can change his mind because even though he commented on the distance he sounded disappointed that we couldn't meet. I say....why not?
It is my job now to give him the incentive to want to meet me :) I have a mission to prepare!!

gulfcpl

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by gulfcpl » Sun Jun 16, 2019 3:32 am

Woohoo, you go girl!!! Should you choose to accept this mission. This message will self destruct in 30 seconds. Ha

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Sun Jun 16, 2019 5:45 am

2UP,

Just remember, the type of fish you catch depends on the lure you bait them with!! :)

Sounds like you're using good bait!!

Rascal

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SutterKane
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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Sun Jun 16, 2019 6:55 am

rascalnvixen wrote:
Sun Jun 16, 2019 5:45 am
2UP,

Just remember, the type of fish you catch depends on the lure you bait them with!! :)

Sounds like you're using good bait!!

Rascal
Hell rascal, you've seen her pictures! It's like using dynamite in a pond!
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Sun Jun 16, 2019 9:56 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:13 am

LMAO - I just shared your comments with H

his response?

Fish in a barrel with a shot gun!

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Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:29 pm

Hold on to your hats!
Yes it's true..... YG has stepped up to the plate and there will be a meet and greet tomorrow. (if he doesn't back out)

Stay tuned tomorrow to see if it actually happens!

In the meantime I have been texting with some new potential men :)
One is very kinky (that could be fun!)

Whosbeensleeping

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Whosbeensleeping » Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:32 pm

Here's hoping YoGi starts some fires! 😉

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:37 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Mon Jun 17, 2019 5:29 pm
Hold on to your hats!
Yes it's true..... YG has stepped up to the plate and there will be a meet and greet tomorrow. (if he doesn't back out)

Stay tuned tomorrow to see if it actually happens!

In the meantime I have been texting with some new potential men :)
One is very kinky (that could be fun!)
OMG!!!! What happens if they ALL come running to your call???? Sounds like you could end up with a guy for every night of the week!!!!! Kinky?? YOU??? Nah, not our sweet little 2UP!! Now, I might think Veronica would like something like that!!!! :)

Sounds like good news!! Patience and persistence often produce good results!! Happy for you!!

Rascal

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