New and still figuring it all out

[afagehi7]

I read an article today that said who we want to F and who we want for a relationship are oftentimes different. For example, a woman wants to F a dominant bad boy but marry a nice guy...a guy wants to F a slut but marry a nice girl. It seems like the HW lifestyle can be the best of both worlds for everyone involved.

I think that is true but I would take it one step further.
I believe that we look for different experiences when we are looking for a permanent relationship based on love vs a play based relationship.
As a hotwife a woman might look for the complete opposite of what she has at home so that she can live out a different type of experience. That opposite experience isn't necessarily one where the man is dominant. Look at all the different relationship dynamics that are represented on this board. There are plenty of couples that consider themselves as equals, there are others that are in FLR situations and others where the male half is dominant. One size does not fit all.
In fact although I am hoping to have 3 fwb's I do not want all 3 to be the same type of experience. I am looking to explore different sides of myself and so I look for different qualities in the men that I interact with.
What would be ideal? One man that is dominant/kinky, one that is more sensual and on an equal basis, and the third one more on the submissive side. That sounds like a lot of fun for this hotwife!!!

2up, I just heard this and thought it interesting and largely true: men use romance to get sex and women use sex to get romance.

[coastalkid]

I'm curious (as always) and I'll bet many men here would like to know what that third submissive male would expect from you? Is this another "buried" thing that has surfaced because I read your thread regularly and I don't recall any overt dominant comments. I may have missed them somehow also. There seems to be other VHW's that enjoy being the dominant partner. I realize that this doesn't refer to your husband and only that "third one". I just like to read some of the creative ideas you have running around in that sexy mind of yours! Thanks for your thread too!

[2inUPMichigan]

I'm curious (as always) and I'll bet many men here would like to know what that third submissive male would expect from you? Is this another "buried" thing that has surfaced because I read your thread regularly and I don't recall any overt dominant comments. I may have missed them somehow also. There seems to be other VHW's that enjoy being the dominant partner. I realize that this doesn't refer to your husband and only that "third one". I just like to read some of the creative ideas you have running around in that sexy mind of yours! Thanks for your thread too!

Nice catch!
Yes that is something that has developed and come out as I have been exploring. Although I may not have made outwardly dominant comments here that side of me is definitely inside me just waiting for the right opportunity.
I realized that something was still missing even as I let the submissive side of me play. There was part of me that was going unfulfilled. I had needs that were not being met and part of that was because I had not fully acknowledged them.
Without going into too much detail I was able to have one session when I tied up the man that I was with (wrists only) and was able to take control of the situation. There was both pleasure and some mild pain involved.....but we both enjoyed ourselves.
Because I identify as a Switch I understand that submission is a gift to be treasured. I might have some ideas on play activities I would like to do however that would depend on the man involved. I would not be interested in a sub that was into heavy pain as I could not bring myself to provide that for him. I also would not be a good fit for someone who was not able to speak up and make their needs known. I would insist on open communication .
Did that answer your question? I'm not sure.....LOL
Let's see....
Bondage
Spanking & Biting
Teasing & Edging

[coastalkid]

I didn't figure you for the pain type really (only enough to get their attention). I figure you're much more cerebral than that. This is where having somewhat of a relationship would be necessary. You'd have to know them well enough to fuck with their heads. I could see you playing with the emotions of some poor unsuspecting fly caught in your web, teasing and denying, giving them what they ask for in way they wished they hadn't.

In my vision of you embracing your dominant side I imagine you being surprised yourself at how good you are at it and the joy you get from it. You get so good that eventually wives seek you out to help them train their willing husbands. You of course enjoy empowering your female counterparts and knowing your helping couples fulfill their desires. Great story stuff, "The Unlikely Dom"! Sorry, I have an over active imagination!

[rascalnvixen]

Did that answer your question? I'm not sure.....LOL
Let's see....
Bondage
Spanking & Biting
Teasing & Edging

My, My, My!!! More interesting insight into the mind of 2UP!!!!

I might suggest another activity for your and your sub's domination pleasure, air deprivation between your ample breasts! But you will have to be very careful with that. You should probably contact Sadie before trying that in a serious manner. Playing with it for just a couple of seconds could still be very much fun. Think about it, how many guys have tried to self smother themselves in a woman's breasts.

Just my 2¢ worth!! Now I have a whole new 2UP to think about.

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

I didn't figure you for the pain type really (only enough to get their attention). I figure you're much more cerebral than that. This is where having somewhat of a relationship would be necessary. You'd have to know them well enough to fuck with their heads. I could see you playing with the emotions of some poor unsuspecting fly caught in your web, teasing and denying, giving them what they ask for in way they wished they hadn't.

In my vision of you embracing your dominant side I imagine you being surprised yourself at how good you are at it and the joy you get from it. You get so good that eventually wives seek you out to help them train their willing husbands. You of course enjoy empowering your female counterparts and knowing your helping couples fulfill their desires. Great story stuff, "The Unlikely Dom"! Sorry, I have an over active imagination!

I've actually considered doing something online as my location might limit the opportunities and candidates.

But one on one?
I would give them tasks to test their "devotion". If they want me to spend time with them I would have expectations of them.
Yes i would be much more "in their head" because I rely on my intuition and I pay attention to details.
I've always believed that sex begins in the mind.....and that is doubly true with D/s. It's a "mind fuck".

[2inUPMichigan]

Did that answer your question? I'm not sure.....LOL
Let's see....
Bondage
Spanking & Biting
Teasing & Edging

My, My, My!!! More interesting insight into the mind of 2UP!!!!

I might suggest another activity for your and your sub's domination pleasure, air deprivation between your ample breasts! But you will have to be very careful with that. You should probably contact Sadie before trying that in a serious manner. Playing with it for just a couple of seconds could still be very much fun. Think about it, how many guys have tried to self smother themselves in a woman's breasts.

Just my 2¢ worth!! Now I have a whole new 2UP to think about.

Rascal

The name is Mistress Veronica when I am in Domme mode - 2UP is the conservative nice girl exterior
Don't make me get out my flogger!!

Sadie is aware of my interests

[SutterKane]

if Mistress Veronica is the Dom, and 2UP is the nice girl, who's the Sub?

[Trixkat]

if Mistress Veronica is the Dom, and 2UP is the nice girl, who's the Sub?

*waves hand in the air enthusiastically while yelling "me! me! me!"*

oh wait......you were asking 2inUP specifically.....

never mind!

[SutterKane]

if Mistress Veronica is the Dom, and 2UP is the nice girl, who's the Sub?

*waves hand in the air enthusiastically while yelling "me! me! me!"*

oh wait......you were asking 2inUP specifically.....

never mind!

You can never have too many beautiful willing Sub's!

[2inUPMichigan]

if Mistress Veronica is the Dom, and 2UP is the nice girl, who's the Sub?

*waves hand in the air enthusiastically while yelling "me! me! me!"*

oh wait......you were asking 2inUP specifically.....

never mind!

I love your enthusiasm!!
And I get it

[2inUPMichigan]

if Mistress Veronica is the Dom, and 2UP is the nice girl, who's the Sub?

I'll have to think about that.... never named her. She just "is" if that makes any sense.

[rascalnvixen]

I would like to suggest the name "Missy" as in subMISSive. This in no way is meant to demean anyone who identifies with the name Missy! It is just a name from a descriptive version of a personality type.

What think Ye, Mistress Veronica?? Notice I didn't ask 2UP because she's too nice to assign a name like that to someone! :-)

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

Hmm...Well H seems to like "Missy" so it might just stick.
There you go Rascal!
I'll have to try it on the next time and see if I like it

Unfortunately we have had to cancel our plans for this week. Life does get in the way of hotwife fun sometimes.

[rascalnvixen]

Glad to be of service, M'lady!!!!

Sorry to hear of the change in plans. Stuff happens! Life goes on. The next time will be even more special!

Rascal

[SutterKane]

It could just be "The nameless one"

[LongTermHubby]

Well, I am intrigued!

As an aside: I liked that 2UP was posing next to a white board. My wife had me put one in our house so she can list all the Honey-Do's for me. She keeps me quite busy while she's out with all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping etc. Fortunately, I am retired so I have more time for all that.

My wife also uses a white board as a Honey-Do list. She finds it useful to keep me occupied while she's out enjoying extra-marital activities.

[2inUPMichigan]

I'm just venting but I am frustrated with the new changes to SLS! They have eliminated their email and gone to IM's. If you have an existing email thread you can continue but any new contacts will go through IM's.
This concerns me because I use emails to properly screen potential men. I don't feel that I will be getting the information that I need using IM's. I don't want short answers or just yes/no. How will I know I didn't miss something? It is because of conversation in emails that I found out about the man that was having sex with the strippers.
Not sure what my solution is yet. At this point I do have H look at most of the profiles I am considering.
I really don't want to set up a profile somewhere else.
Oh and the worst part is the video chat!! I have no intention on ever using it but apparently I can't turn it off so I could still get requests- Yuck!!

[rascalnvixen]

2UP,

It doesn't sound like they are giving you much choice in the matter. If you want to continue with your privacy, I think you should at least start looking at other alternative sites as a primary. It's unfortunate these folks feel they need to make changes like this for the entire enterprise but it must make financial sense for them. I'm sure H can help you research other sites. I'm sure he has an interest in what SLS is doing also.

Rascal

[ErikaPeter]

SLS has been our primary site. I am also disappointed with the changes. I don’t understand why site administrators insist on messing with success, unless it is a way to try to make more money. We have tried other sites with much less success. If you come across an alternative that works well, please let us all know.

[SutterKane]

Set up a free disposable email account at mail(dot)com. Yep, no happy about the changes myself. You might try Kasidie(dot)com but it's geared toward swingers and trends to the 20's and 30's crowd.

[2inUPMichigan]

I went grocery shopping today ....
Standing in line the woman checking out innocently says "it's more fun with another couple along".
Oh my! Three reactions at one time..... the huge wide eye reaction was from 2UP, the smirk was from Mistress Veronica and the giggle struggling to stay inside was from that bratty sub!
I think she was talking about camping ...... but maybe they are having some fun while camping?
My mind never used to go there from such an innocent comment! LOL

[SSQ]

I wouldn't be thrilled about IM only either. I agree with Sutterkane, anyone you start to chat with, just tell them to contact you at a disposable email account and go from there?

LOL you should hear some of the things I say in public to make people think

[rascalnvixen]

MIG. Mind. In Gutter! I love it! That kind of thinking is what I like in a sexy woman! And THAT is what helps to make her sexy!!!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

Time for a little update
I have been messaging almost daily with "the fireman" (and yes he is one!). We are hoping that he can come up this way near the end of July so that we can finally meet. It has been about 2 weeks now and I don't think we have missed a day.
So far, so good. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.