New and still figuring it all out

[2inUPMichigan]

Great story. And...thanks for providing the picture of the outfit in the "Hotties" section.

School Girl fantasy...so hot and then to act it out. Wow!

I love acting out fantasies and dressing the part makes it extra fun!
Glad you enjoyed it

H is always telling me he wants to help me explore whatever my mind can think up and he wants to help open new doors for me. So glad I have him in my corner.

[2inUPMichigan]

Well that was interesting! I was messaging with the new guy from SLS and told him that September is my hotwife anniversary. He suggested that "we celebrate together" ......well now

He asked if there was anything special I would want to do.....another fun conversation. LOL
Could be that I will be meeting him very soon.
Stay tuned for an update.

[rascalnvixen]

2up,

Is he more local than the others?? I hope he is reliable and is a good match for you!!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

2up,

Is he more local than the others?? I hope he is reliable and is a good match for you!!

Rascal

He is only slightly closer than H. I'm really far north so since I don't want to meet with anyone local my only options are going to be about 2 hours away. There are towns about an hour away but they don't have very large populations. Yep, I'm in the boonies!

He is really funny and sounds smart, can hold up his end of the conversation (which is a must for me).
We haven't talked yet about frequency as we have only been in contact two weeks.

[rascalnvixen]

2up,

Is he more local than the others?? I hope he is reliable and is a good match for you!!

Rascal

He is only slightly closer than H. I'm really far north so since I don't want to meet with anyone local my only options are going to be about 2 hours away. There are towns about an hour away but they don't have very large populations. Yep, I'm in the boonies!

He is really funny and sounds smart, can hold up his end of the conversation (which is a must for me).
We haven't talked yet about frequency as we have only been in contact two weeks.

Well, I hope he works out for you!! I would love to see you with a steady stable of men to play with. I know you may not realize it but I can tell when you are frustrated and are stressed. I love to see you happy so that your sly sense of humor comes into play in your posts!! Really do hope he works out for you!!!

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

[afagehi7]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

[Trixkat]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

please don't mansplain something to a woman who has already stated her thoughts on it. 2inUP says in that last bit that these are men who don't fit her stated preferences.

and for the record, she isn't wrong in her assessment that these men think their opinion is more important. if they can't be bothered to respect or pay attention to what I have written, what would lead me to believe they would ever value what I have to say?

[2inUPMichigan]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

Uh huh.....you are basically telling me the same thing they are.....that despite the fact that I was very clear about my boundaries and limitations in my profile they thought they knew better.
I shouldn't blame them for giving it a shot? Really? They did miss something very specific in my profile- I wrote it very clearly. Would you give someone a shot that ignored your stated limits? Or be happy that they thought it was okay? I highly doubt it.
I could put in a very graphic example for you - but I won't.


So I should put a disclaimer at the end of my profile that reads:

"Don't worry you can ignore everything you just read because I don't know my own mind. I need someone else to think for me and my thoughts don't mean anything."

That is a load of crap!

It's really very simple.....when it comes to swinging and hotwife/cuckold you are looking for a good match. If there are obvious things in a profile that you do not match up with then you are not a match so you are wasting time making contact. It is never flattering to be contacted by people that do not read my profile it is insulting. Your profile is your "swinging resume". If they are only contacting me based on a picture and haven't read my profile I'm not interested either.
I have no interest in a stunt dick or a one night stand.

[SSQ]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

please don't mansplain something to a woman who has already stated her thoughts on it. 2inUP says in that last bit that these are men who don't fit her stated preferences.

and for the record, she isn't wrong in her assessment that these men think their opinion is more important. if they can't be bothered to respect or pay attention to what I have written, what would lead me to believe they would ever value what I have to say?

*applause*

[Suchen Zucker]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

please don't mansplain something to a woman who has already stated her thoughts on it. 2inUP says in that last bit that these are men who don't fit her stated preferences.

and for the record, she isn't wrong in her assessment that these men think their opinion is more important. if they can't be bothered to respect or pay attention to what I have written, what would lead me to believe they would ever value what I have to say?

*applause*

He didn't disagree with her reasoning nor was he being rude. He only offered his view on why some men would still give it a shot. Sort of like people do when they are conversing about something together.

**Edit: lol, shiat. I reread his post. Yep, he did disagree, and went on to mansplain it, so they stomped on your dick....

[rascalnvixen]

This has been a very revealing discussion. Not gonna take sides in this cuz I can see good and bad on both sides but not serious enough to get fired up on it! But, 2UP should now add a new characteristic to her profile.... "Dick Stomper"!!!!!

Rascal

[Liveurlife]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

Uh huh.....you are basically telling me the same thing they are.....that despite the fact that I was very clear about my boundaries and limitations in my profile they thought they knew better.
I shouldn't blame them for giving it a shot? Really? They did miss something very specific in my profile- I wrote it very clearly. Would you give someone a shot that ignored your stated limits? Or be happy that they thought it was okay? I highly doubt it.
I could put in a very graphic example for you - but I won't.


So I should put a disclaimer at the end of my profile that reads:

"Don't worry you can ignore everything you just read because I don't know my own mind. I need someone else to think for me and my thoughts don't mean anything."

That is a load of crap!

It's really very simple.....when it comes to swinging and hotwife/cuckold you are looking for a good match. If there are obvious things in a profile that you do not match up with then you are not a match so you are wasting time making contact. It is never flattering to be contacted by people that do not read my profile it is insulting. Your profile is your "swinging resume". If they are only contacting me based on a picture and haven't read my profile I'm not interested either.
I have no interest in a stunt dick or a one night stand.

2InUPMichigan you couldn’t be more right about not responding to someone who so blatantly never read your complete profile. A friend got so tired of that happening to his wife and him, and also on SLS, that at the very bottom in the additional comments section they would change a requirement for anyone contacting them just to make sure they read their entire profile. They wrote ”title your message with the word blue” and they would change the color periodically. Not the right color, into the trash heap their message went.

It’s your life, it’s your conditions, it’s your kink. You start making exceptions then you’ve lost control over your life.

[afagehi7]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

Uh huh.....you are basically telling me the same thing they are.....that despite the fact that I was very clear about my boundaries and limitations in my profile they thought they knew better.
I shouldn't blame them for giving it a shot? Really? They did miss something very specific in my profile- I wrote it very clearly. Would you give someone a shot that ignored your stated limits? Or be happy that they thought it was okay? I highly doubt it.
I could put in a very graphic example for you - but I won't.


So I should put a disclaimer at the end of my profile that reads:

"Don't worry you can ignore everything you just read because I don't know my own mind. I need someone else to think for me and my thoughts don't mean anything."

That is a load of crap!

It's really very simple.....when it comes to swinging and hotwife/cuckold you are looking for a good match. If there are obvious things in a profile that you do not match up with then you are not a match so you are wasting time making contact. It is never flattering to be contacted by people that do not read my profile it is insulting. Your profile is your "swinging resume". If they are only contacting me based on a picture and haven't read my profile I'm not interested either.
I have no interest in a stunt dick or a one night stand.

First, I wasn't intending disrespect nor to mansplain. I was attempting to offer the male perspective on the behavior. I apologise if I came across disrespectful. I don't know what is on your sls profile nor how they are ignoring it. If you say no dic pics and they send dic pics then that is disrespectful.

I was trying to point out men are either socialized or just instinctively take shots. One study attributed some of the pay gap in the tech industry to this. Men will ask for a raise (even if they don't deserve it) whereas women don't (even if they deserve it). Some companies are trying to implement procedures to deal with this so they don't end up with pay disparity. I also see this on student job searches. The guys will want to apply for positions shooting for the moon whereas the female students won't apply for a job unless they meet 100% of the qualifications. This phenomenon is also believed to contribute to the pay gap with men aiming at higher positions.

So if I was mansplaining I was trying to explain men's frame of thought. I always welcome the female perspective and wish women would more often "femsplain" to me.

My dick welcomes more stomping if that is what is needed. He certainly wasn't intentionally trying to disrespect the ladies.

[Suchen Zucker]

I was trying to point out men are either socialized or just instinctively take shots. One study attributed some of the pay gap in the tech industry to this. Men will ask for a raise (even if they don't deserve it) whereas women don't (even if they deserve it). Some companies are trying to implement procedures to deal with this so they don't end up with pay disparity. I also see this on student job searches. The guys will want to apply for positions shooting for the moon whereas the female students won't apply for a job unless they meet 100% of the qualifications. This phenomenon is also believed to contribute to the pay gap with men aiming at higher positions.

Nice explanation. If this would have been included in the original comment it may have saved a dick. Perhaps not as some just stomp dicks out of habit like catching a roach in the corner when you happen to be wearing cowboy boots. Or should I say cowGIRL boots?

[rascalnvixen]

Nice explanation. If this would have been included in the original comment it may have saved a dick. Perhaps not as some just stomp dicks out of habit like catching a roach in the corner when you happen to be wearing cowboy boots. Or should I say cowGIRL boots?

Rascal

[2inUPMichigan]

I'm going to bottom line the real underlying importance of this issue and make it very clear because I think that is being overlooked and buried.

When I state a specific limit and that is ignored then there is no way guarantee that the same person will not ignore other specific limits....like the word "No" or "Red".
That is the bottom line.

If you have never known a woman who has had her limitations overridden by a man then count yourself lucky. I don't ever want to be in that position and have to look in the mirror the next day and see what I saw years ago on the face of someone I loved. I will do everything in my power to avoid that situation and that includes avoiding men that do not take the word NO seriously. I won't "give a shot" to some anonymous stranger that doesn't respect my opinions.

If I really believed that "all men" were socialized to "take a shot" regardless of what they read then I would shut down my profile right now close out my username on here immediately and stop all activity. If I am not going to be respected for my limitations and "all men" are going to push and think that they should try to get their own way then WTF? Why bother?

But luckily I know that there are decent men out there that know the value of listening to a woman's opinions and views. I know that there are decent men that want to expand a woman's boundaries not push to get his own way. I know that there are men that are not out there only for themselves. Why? Because these are the type of men that I agree to talk with, meet with and play with. The rest of them are wasting their time and mine when they do not start by respecting my limits.

I'm not talking about statistics or data sets or studies I'm talking about my real life experiences and they are valid. I have the right and the responsibility to set limits and anyone approaching me should respect those. These 2 men didn't do that - it really is as simple as that.....but it could lead to so much worse.
And before anyone tries to say that this is overreacting.....ask someone that was abused or raped when it first started or what the first signs were.
*********
I'm drawing a line and will not be discussing this anymore.
I need to go do something positive with my time......

[wocka-wocka]

I logged onto SLS and got all excited because I had messages waiting for me.
Nope! Should have been more cautious....... neither one paid attention to simple information available in the profile. One was 32 and 5'6" ..... enough said. The other lives in my town and I clearly state that I won't meet local men but he tried to convince me he could be discreet.

I don't understand why men that clearly don't fit within what I stated I was looking for would even bother to contact me??
To me that shows they think their opinion is more important - such a turn off!

It isn't that they believe their opinion is more important. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Don't blame a guy for giving it a shot. It's a compliment he finds you attractive enough to at least try. Now if you say something specific in your profile that they miss (eg put the word banana in the subject so I know you read) and they don't then they are probably playing the odds and responding to anyone and everyone. But if they read but are taking a long shot well...that's a guy thing. We like trying to overcome the odds and if they didn't really dig you then they'd spare themselves the rejection and ego bruise.

2inUP expressed her needs/boundaries. It's not okay to suggest she ignore them or forgive a potential partner for ignoring her boundaries.

Furthermore, lots of profiles have quite specific wants. Do not ignore them, Ever. Do not suggest others ignore them. People want what they want...

[ambershere]

Hey Girl. I can’t believe you didn’t jump up and down when contacted by guys who are totally disrespectful and illiterate. Now for me I am proud of you and your standards and beliefs and never throwing them to the curb. Why should you waiver ever. You won’t and don’t that’s because you think as a strong and independent woman which rates a Go Girl. I had much more to say but I don’t want to hijack the thread. A suggestion to some who post here if you read her thread from the get go you would have seen her desires and requirements to date and maybe more with her

[Farmgirl]

Hey Girl. I can’t believe you didn’t jump up and down when contacted by guys who are totally disrespectful and illiterate. Now for me I am proud of you and your standards and beliefs and never throwing them to the curb. Why should you waiver ever. You won’t and don’t that’s because you think as a strong and independent woman which rates a Go Girl. I had much more to say but I don’t want to hijack the thread. A suggestion to some who post here if you read her thread from the get go you would have seen her desires and requirements to date and maybe more with her

Love your comment!!

2inUP is totally right on this and guys here should respect that!

[Hungry4IT]

I'm going to bottom line the real underlying importance of this issue and make it very clear because I think that is being overlooked and buried.

When I state a specific limit and that is ignored then there is no way guarantee that the same person will not ignore other specific limits....like the word "No" or "Red".
That is the bottom line.

If you have never known a woman who has had her limitations overridden by a man then count yourself lucky. I don't ever want to be in that position and have to look in the mirror the next day and see what I saw years ago on the face of someone I loved. I will do everything in my power to avoid that situation and that includes avoiding men that do not take the word NO seriously. I won't "give a shot" to some anonymous stranger that doesn't respect my opinions.

If I really believed that "all men" were socialized to "take a shot" regardless of what they read then I would shut down my profile right now close out my username on here immediately and stop all activity. If I am not going to be respected for my limitations and "all men" are going to push and think that they should try to get their own way then WTF? Why bother?

But luckily I know that there are decent men out there that know the value of listening to a woman's opinions and views. I know that there are decent men that want to expand a woman's boundaries not push to get his own way. I know that there are men that are not out there only for themselves. Why? Because these are the type of men that I agree to talk with, meet with and play with. The rest of them are wasting their time and mine when they do not start by respecting my limits.

I'm not talking about statistics or data sets or studies I'm talking about my real life experiences and they are valid. I have the right and the responsibility to set limits and anyone approaching me should respect those. These 2 men didn't do that - it really is as simple as that.....but it could lead to so much worse.
And before anyone tries to say that this is overreacting.....ask someone that was abused or raped when it first started or what the first signs were.
*********
I'm drawing a line and will not be discussing this anymore.
I need to go do something positive with my time......

One Up to Ya 2up!

Sad to see you must defend yourself over such obvious disregard of one's boundaries. Not all men are so ignorant. I can vouch for that - Most of the time at least.lol hahaha

Hope your days flowing positively!

[2inUPMichigan]

I have a big grin on my face my fingers are crossed and I am just waiting till tomorrow to hear if I will be having a meet and greet with a new man next week!!
What is really cool is that I will be the first person that he will be meeting......so he will probably be as nervous as I usually am!

What a way to start off my hotwife anniversary month


Things are also heating up with another potential candidate but I'm trying to concentrate on M first.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

[rascalnvixen]

Yea!!! YIPPIE!!!!! You go girl!!! You are on a ROLL!!!! You'll have em lining up at the hotel door soon!!!! Congrats!!!! Hooray!!!!

Was that a little over the top?? Well, let's just say I'm happy for you!! It's time you get a break from that bad streak you were on last winter and spring!!!

Rascal

[Liveurlife]

I have a big grin on my face my fingers are crossed and I am just waiting till tomorrow to hear if I will be having a meet and greet with a new man next week!!
What is really cool is that I will be the first person that he will be meeting......so he will probably be as nervous as I usually am!

What a way to start off my hotwife anniversary month


Things are also heating up with another potential candidate but I'm trying to concentrate on M first.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!!

I am definitely on Team 2Up!

Wishing only the best for you.

[2inUPMichigan]

Still working out the details of scheduling but I have my fingers crossed and a potential back up plan!

I let M know that I needed a firm date and time from him ..........he is new and I think a little nervous about all of this. If he isn't ready or available next week then he will have to wait until the wk of Sept 30th at the earliest to meet me. I will then give D a chance for a meeting next week. D however does not know that yet LOL - don't want to get his hopes up in case M comes through!