New and still figuring it all out

For hotwives and the men who adore them.
User avatar
SutterKane
OHW Addict
Posts: 1608
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:27 am

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:23 am

I'm just glad she's here, talking to us horny perverts!
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:28 am

ambershere wrote:
Tue Jun 11, 2019 11:02 am
I know you don't need my 2 cents, but what a great,honest,sincere reply... Oh Yeah i really enjoy your posts....Hopefully this doesn't sound to corny
Go Girl!!!!! The end
Awe gee thanks :oops:
I'm definitely real :D
Life and circumstances have brought me to a place where I just want to be me and this lifestyle has brought out more of the authentic "me" which is kind of cool!
I'm kind of corny myself :lol:
Thanks for following along in my journey.

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:30 am

SutterKane wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:23 am
I'm just glad she's here, talking to us horny perverts!
Ooh well I kind of like talking to all of you horny perverts. :P :mrgreen:
(well most of you anyway LOL)

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:37 am

Another broken commitment! Ok, I get it work didn't schedule him in the area....but is that the truth? Because he didn't offer another suggestion of a day so what am I to think?
I was supposed to meet YG (young guy) on Thursday for the first time and he can't make it because he won't have a load in the area that day (trucker). But he doesn't suggest another day. He doesn't even offer to come up on his day off??? He only lives about 2 hours away - so what is the problem?
Is he for real, or is he a flake that isn't really going to ever show up? He seems really shy but I'm getting frustrated about this whole situation.
I decided I'm going to send him a message at some point today. I'm basically going to tell him that he needs to decide if he really wants to meet me and if he does then he will need to come up with a day even if that means doing it on his day off. Then he will need to stick to the plan and show up or we will no longer be talking. I'm not a teenager who likes to play games. It's time to put up or shut up.....

ckathrill
Experienced
Posts: 187
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:01 am

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by ckathrill » Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:43 am

We place ads in double list. They are well-written - not your usual come fuck my wife type ads. We gets loads of responses. My wife is a size queen so she needs a 7+ guy who is at least fairly attractive. So that reduces the field considerably. However, even after they see her unbelievable body ( no face) so many just do not follow up. I do insist on speaking to them over the phone to get a sense of them, and that requirement causes a lot of guys to not follow up. We are in the DC area so there is a large population to draw from too.

Bottom line - most guys are not serious and it ain't easy getting guys.

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:04 pm

2UP,

I know you are frustrated with some of the flakes and other issues with connections lately but I can see where even though he is young he may have legit reasons for not responding in your time frame. Ok, so he isn't headed your way for work because there is no load for him to bring. That happens in the trucking industry. He didn't even suggest another day. Ok, sometimes the trucking industry is very impetuous, thinks happen in very short time frames. He didn't even suggest coming up to see you on his day off. On this particular day he may already have important things to do. Remember, this is graduation time and wedding time of the year and he may already be committed to something like that.

I know you are disappointed, but give the guy a little break. You already have a communication link with him, tell him you are sorry he can't meet with you this week and encourage him to make the trip to you next week. If he can't then ask why? Ask, not demand to know why. If it appears he is not going to make the effort after two tries, then do your usual thanks but no thanks polite dismissal of his services.

Just have a little patience with him before you sever his head from his body!!! :lol:

Rascal :)

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:13 pm

rascalnvixen wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:04 pm
2UP,

I know you are frustrated with some of the flakes and other issues with connections lately but I can see where even though he is young he may have legit reasons for not responding in your time frame. Ok, so he isn't headed your way for work because there is no load for him to bring. That happens in the trucking industry. He didn't even suggest another day. Ok, sometimes the trucking industry is very impetuous, thinks happen in very short time frames. He didn't even suggest coming up to see you on his day off. On this particular day he may already have important things to do. Remember, this is graduation time and wedding time of the year and he may already be committed to something like that.

I know you are disappointed, but give the guy a little break. You already have a communication link with him, tell him you are sorry he can't meet with you this week and encourage him to make the trip to you next week. If he can't then ask why? Ask, not demand to know why. If it appears he is not going to make the effort after two tries, then do your usual thanks but no thanks polite dismissal of his services.

Just have a little patience with him before you sever his head from his body!!! :lol:

Rascal :)
Rascal

I think you know me well enough by now to know that I have tried to give this guy a chance.
What you don't know is that H even reached out to him to try to give him some advice and moral support and he still hasn't made any effort to initiate anything. He responded to H apparently - I don't know what was said between them that stays between them - but he didn't say anything different to me.
He might be a picture collector trying to get me to show him pictures of me in lingerie or naked - not happening! He might be a flake that will never show up - his loss. Or he might be someone that is so green to all this and so hesitant that he isn't ready.
If he is interested then he needs to make the effort to make plans. If he says "I can't make it" but no mention of setting up another time.....what am I supposed to think?
I could understand if I got a "I really hope we can work out a date soon". But no I get sad face emoticons and when I ask what would make him less sad he says "things I can't have".....huh?? I ask him to tell me about that and he said "it's silly, I just wanna see you" but again he doesn't suggest an actual meeting. So I am left thinking that he wants my picture.

If he is interested then he will contact me. I'm moving on to see what else is out there.
H agrees with me too - no more wasting time on someone that isn't putting the effort in that I am. I deserve better than that.

txhwhubby
Experienced
Posts: 129
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:37 am
Location: texas

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by txhwhubby » Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:02 pm

Yep. Sounds like a ploy to get pictures.

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Wed Jun 12, 2019 4:46 pm

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:13 pm
rascalnvixen wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 12:04 pm
2UP,

I know you are frustrated with some of the flakes and other issues with connections lately but I can see where even though he is young he may have legit reasons for not responding in your time frame. Ok, so he isn't headed your way for work because there is no load for him to bring. That happens in the trucking industry. He didn't even suggest another day. Ok, sometimes the trucking industry is very impetuous, thinks happen in very short time frames. He didn't even suggest coming up to see you on his day off. On this particular day he may already have important things to do. Remember, this is graduation time and wedding time of the year and he may already be committed to something like that.

I know you are disappointed, but give the guy a little break. You already have a communication link with him, tell him you are sorry he can't meet with you this week and encourage him to make the trip to you next week. If he can't then ask why? Ask, not demand to know why. If it appears he is not going to make the effort after two tries, then do your usual thanks but no thanks polite dismissal of his services.

Just have a little patience with him before you sever his head from his body!!! :lol:

Rascal :)
Rascal

I think you know me well enough by now to know that I have tried to give this guy a chance.
What you don't know is that H even reached out to him to try to give him some advice and moral support and he still hasn't made any effort to initiate anything. He responded to H apparently - I don't know what was said between them that stays between them - but he didn't say anything different to me.
He might be a picture collector trying to get me to show him pictures of me in lingerie or naked - not happening! He might be a flake that will never show up - his loss. Or he might be someone that is so green to all this and so hesitant that he isn't ready.
If he is interested then he needs to make the effort to make plans. If he says "I can't make it" but no mention of setting up another time.....what am I supposed to think?
I could understand if I got a "I really hope we can work out a date soon". But no I get sad face emoticons and when I ask what would make him less sad he says "things I can't have".....huh?? I ask him to tell me about that and he said "it's silly, I just wanna see you" but again he doesn't suggest an actual meeting. So I am left thinking that he wants my picture.

If he is interested then he will contact me. I'm moving on to see what else is out there.
H agrees with me too - no more wasting time on someone that isn't putting the effort in that I am. I deserve better than that.
Ok, I understand! Didn't have that other background. Yes, I know you give the benefit of the doubt most times but I also thought you have not been happy lately due to the other flakes, so, I opted for optimism in this case, and, as usual, I was wrong, again!!! Yes, it is time to cut him loose. He knows how to contact you if he wants, not that you would be receptive after this.

Please forgive me!!!! :)

Rascal

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 6:30 pm

I'm going hunting again .....my target.....a few good men :)
Wish me luck!

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Wed Jun 12, 2019 7:42 pm

Ok, I'll follow that straight line with the expected response.... Maybe you should move near Camp Pendleton!!! :lol:

Good luck, 2UP!!

Rascal

afagehi7

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by afagehi7 » Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:52 pm

Don't let the young guy spoil it for all the young guys. Guys will flake young or old.

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:38 pm

afagehi7 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:52 pm
Don't let the young guy spoil it for all the young guys. Guys will flake young or old.
LOL, I get it you like the picture of a woman my age with a much younger guy.

The thing is that it (the idea of a much younger man) doesn't turn me on. I don't want to look at a baby face nor have a conversation with someone that makes me feel like their mother. I have no real interest in "teaching" someone either - I thought about it for a minute, but it really doesn't appeal to me.

If I can't have a conversation with the man it isn't happening. I have no interest in one night stands which seems to be what most of the younger men want -according to their profiles.

Why go through all the trouble of meeting up with someone like that? If I have to sit and listen to them it will turn me off and then there will not be any play time.

afagehi7

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by afagehi7 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:59 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:38 pm
afagehi7 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:52 pm
Don't let the young guy spoil it for all the young guys. Guys will flake young or old.
LOL, I get it you like the picture of a woman my age with a much younger guy.

The thing is that it (the idea of a much younger man) doesn't turn me on. I don't want to look at a baby face nor have a conversation with someone that makes me feel like their mother. I have no real interest in "teaching" someone either - I thought about it for a minute, but it really doesn't appeal to me.

If I can't have a conversation with the man it isn't happening. I have no interest in one night stands which seems to be what most of the younger men want -according to their profiles.

Why go through all the trouble of meeting up with someone like that? If I have to sit and listen to them it will turn me off and then there will not be any play time.
Ok. Just saying not to count the young guys out. Yes, more of them are more immature than older guys but you don't want to miss the one who is mature and can hold a conversation. He's out there! Plus, a good one won't need to be taught. I can't imagine that by 25 guys still need instructions.

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:42 am

afagehi7 wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:59 am
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:38 pm
afagehi7 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:52 pm
Don't let the young guy spoil it for all the young guys. Guys will flake young or old.
LOL, I get it you like the picture of a woman my age with a much younger guy.

The thing is that it (the idea of a much younger man) doesn't turn me on. I don't want to look at a baby face nor have a conversation with someone that makes me feel like their mother. I have no real interest in "teaching" someone either - I thought about it for a minute, but it really doesn't appeal to me.

If I can't have a conversation with the man it isn't happening. I have no interest in one night stands which seems to be what most of the younger men want -according to their profiles.

Why go through all the trouble of meeting up with someone like that? If I have to sit and listen to them it will turn me off and then there will not be any play time.
Ok. Just saying not to count the young guys out. Yes, more of them are more immature than older guys but you don't want to miss the one who is mature and can hold a conversation. He's out there! Plus, a good one won't need to be taught. I can't imagine that by 25 guys still need instructions.
25? LOL
Never going to happen not with me. (If you could only have seen the look on my face when I read 25 you would understand) :shock:


Everyone has their preferences and you obviously have yours. But at some point you have to understand that there are women that do not share those preferences. I am one of them. I have never been interested in the idea of a young man. It does not turn me on.

When you suggest that I should "not count the young guys out" it sounds like it is more about your own idea of what is a turn on than what is best for me.

We all have to make the choices that are best for us. If in your relationship you both agree that much younger men are an option that is your choice to make. However that does not mean it is the right choice for everyone. Nor is it something that should be pushed as the only choice. There is no "one choice fits all" in this lifestyle. Each couple is unique and so are the choices that they make.

afagehi7

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by afagehi7 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 6:18 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:42 am
afagehi7 wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:59 am
2inUPMichigan wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:38 pm
afagehi7 wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 8:52 pm
Don't let the young guy spoil it for all the young guys. Guys will flake young or old.
LOL, I get it you like the picture of a woman my age with a much younger guy.

The thing is that it (the idea of a much younger man) doesn't turn me on. I don't want to look at a baby face nor have a conversation with someone that makes me feel like their mother. I have no real interest in "teaching" someone either - I thought about it for a minute, but it really doesn't appeal to me.

If I can't have a conversation with the man it isn't happening. I have no interest in one night stands which seems to be what most of the younger men want -according to their profiles.

Why go through all the trouble of meeting up with someone like that? If I have to sit and listen to them it will turn me off and then there will not be any play time.
Ok. Just saying not to count the young guys out. Yes, more of them are more immature than older guys but you don't want to miss the one who is mature and can hold a conversation. He's out there! Plus, a good one won't need to be taught. I can't imagine that by 25 guys still need instructions.
25? LOL
Never going to happen not with me. (If you could only have seen the look on my face when I read 25 you would understand) :shock:


Everyone has their preferences and you obviously have yours. But at some point you have to understand that there are women that do not share those preferences. I am one of them. I have never been interested in the idea of a young man. It does not turn me on.

When you suggest that I should "not count the young guys out" it sounds like it is more about your own idea of what is a turn on than what is best for me.

We all have to make the choices that are best for us. If in your relationship you both agree that much younger men are an option that is your choice to make. However that does not mean it is the right choice for everyone. Nor is it something that should be pushed as the only choice. There is no "one choice fits all" in this lifestyle. Each couple is unique and so are the choices that they make.
I guess it was a bit ambiguous. By 25 I meant any guy older than 25 shouldn't need training not that you should date a 25 year old. I was just saying by 25 they should know what they are doing.

User avatar
Trixkat
Verified Hot Wife
Posts: 387
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:22 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Trixkat » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:30 am

rascalnvixen wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 7:42 pm
Ok, I'll follow that straight line with the expected response.... Maybe you should move near Camp Pendleton!!! :lol:

Good luck, 2UP!!

Rascal
hey hey hey!! I'm near Camp Pendleton! this is MY turf!!!!
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

User avatar
Trixkat
Verified Hot Wife
Posts: 387
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:22 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by Trixkat » Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:40 am

ordinarily, the low end of my age range is half my age plus 7 years. currently that age is roughly 30. this rule has generally been good to me. I just sorta feel like younger than that, the man and I just don't have as much common life experience. our pop culture references often misalign, music tastes, communication styles, etc.

that being said, I'm acutely aware that the 2 men that I've had longer relationships with both fell below that age rule. those 2 men are absolutely the exception i allow for.

we all have different preferences. I was recently talking to a man about 2 years older than me (the ladies will know of him as the porn star I was talking to!) and he had moments where he seemed completely juvenile....not at all a turn on.

so, 2inUP....stick to your guns babe! pick the men that light your fire because they realize what a catch you are!!
I can't keep quiet....a one woman riot ~~ Milck

rascalnvixen

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by rascalnvixen » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:13 am

Trixkat wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:30 am
rascalnvixen wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 7:42 pm
Ok, I'll follow that straight line with the expected response.... Maybe you should move near Camp Pendleton!!! :lol:

Good luck, 2UP!!

Rascal
hey hey hey!! I'm near Camp Pendleton! this is MY turf!!!!
Ooops!!! Sorry Trixkat!!!! :lol:

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Jun 13, 2019 10:22 am

Trixkat wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 7:30 am
rascalnvixen wrote:
Wed Jun 12, 2019 7:42 pm
Ok, I'll follow that straight line with the expected response.... Maybe you should move near Camp Pendleton!!! :lol:

Good luck, 2UP!!

Rascal
hey hey hey!! I'm near Camp Pendleton! this is MY turf!!!!
Not to worry - not going to tread on your turf! ;) :P
I already have one Marine at home! :mrgreen:

User avatar
SSQ
Verified Hot Wife
Posts: 1941
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:27 pm
Contact:

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SSQ » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:00 pm

I am sure the right one will come along. You deserve it :)
It's all fun until someone gets hurt... and then it's more fun! :whip:

https://thehappyhotwife.blogspot.com/

2inUPMichigan
VHW Admin
Posts: 6261
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by 2inUPMichigan » Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:23 pm

Trixkat and SSQ - thanks for the vote of confidence!

I feel like I took a chance on this guy by lowering my usual age limit and it bit me in the ass.
I deserve better than this. I shouldn't have to settle just because of where I live and the fact that my options are a bit more limited.

I really didn't think I was that picky but I'm not just looking for a hot body.
Here is what I want:
35-55
5'10" or taller (that is how tall I am)
prefer non-smoker
like facial hair but not necessary
has to be single or in an open relationship - no cheaters!
fwb material - no one night stands
someone with a lot of energy
has to have a sense of humor
condoms are non-negotiable
kinky is good because too much vanilla and I will be bored :)
someone who understands that sex begins in the mind - without the mental game the physical doesn't happen

Is that really so much???

User avatar
SutterKane
OHW Addict
Posts: 1608
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 7:27 am

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by SutterKane » Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:11 pm

No show's in this life are such a problem that I've thought of starting an escrow service for hotwife dating. Each (Hotwife and potential lover) would place an amount in an escrow account, say $100 (or whatever amount you agree on). If both show up for the meeting, even if it's a no go, both get their money back minus a small transaction fee, say 5% of the escrow. But if only one side shows up, then that one would get their money back as well as the other side's escrow (minus the fee, of course). There would also be the option to wave the escrow defaulter's loss of escrow if it's decided that they have a good reason that is acceptable. Say a car accident, being in the hospital or death of a loved one. Might even include a rating for how many transaction were completed and not completed as well as how many waved.
Think about how much it cost you in time, money and emotional energy, just to have someone flake on you. Once they've met you and it goes well, then you could drop the escrow for future meets or not, up to you at that point. My lawyer is looking at this for me. Any one want to invest?
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

ambershere

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by ambershere » Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:34 pm

NOOOOO those are the standards that your comfortable with,and if they can’t meet them corny as it sounds it’s truly their loss. Each person has their own standards and values I applaud yours. Finally it does not matter how anyone views them, it’s how you feel about them. The End

afagehi7

Re: New and still figuring it all out

Unread post by afagehi7 » Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:12 am

2inUPMichigan wrote:
Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:23 pm
Trixkat and SSQ - thanks for the vote of confidence!

I feel like I took a chance on this guy by lowering my usual age limit and it bit me in the ass.
I deserve better than this. I shouldn't have to settle just because of where I live and the fact that my options are a bit more limited.

I really didn't think I was that picky but I'm not just looking for a hot body.
Here is what I want:
35-55
5'10" or taller (that is how tall I am)
prefer non-smoker
like facial hair but not necessary
has to be single or in an open relationship - no cheaters!
fwb material - no one night stands
someone with a lot of energy
has to have a sense of humor
condoms are non-negotiable
kinky is good because too much vanilla and I will be bored :)
someone who understands that sex begins in the mind - without the mental game the physical doesn't happen

Is that really so much???
2up - everything in life is a trade off. If I want a smart chick she may not be as pretty as I want or something else will suffer. I think it's that way with everything. There is always a compromise. Your requests seem reasonable but your geography limits your selection. Also, the guy you mentioned probably has a girlfriend or wife as he sounds like marriage material. I think you will find him but due to geography, it may take awhile. If you opened it up to attached guys your market would be larger but I am sure that is non-negotiable. Perhaps you could consider some travel on your side for Mr. Perfect to expand to an area that is more populated then meet halfway for a hotel? That could expand your area by a 4 hour radius if you both travel 2 areas to meet in the middle. When I was in my 20s I had an older GF and we'd meet regular in the middle and occasionally do the extra distance to each other.

Post Reply