Our Hotwives

Hi All.  I am new to the forum.  Much like a lot of the guys on here I stumbled across this site doing "research" and joined to discuss and get advice about my wife sleeping with other men.  This is something I cannot talk to close friends and family about.  Here's the thing, even though three of my friends have fucked my wife (before she was my wife), I don't feel comfortable discussing the plans of her to start fucking other men again now that we are married and "settled down".  I promise this will be my longest post but I had to get this off my chest.  I apologize as I did not intend for it to be this long, but when I started typing, it just came out. What I am about to tell you only 2 people in the world know, myself and my wife, Brandi.  

Brandi and I have been married just over a year.  I met Brandi my senior year in college about 5  years ago.  She was a Freshman.  It was love at first site and we got serious right away.  I was a party boy and had slept with a lot of girls, including a few threesomes both mmf and ffm, and never had a relationship lasting more than a few months.  She was more of a good girl and had only a handful of sexual partners, 5 to be exact, including mostly longer term boyfriends.  

Anyway, we were monogamous until about 14 moths into the relationship.  I had since moved away from college, and taken a job in the closest major city about 1 hour from campus.  I lived with 3 other guys in an apartment.  Brandi was still at college and we saw each other pretty much every weekend.  We had gone to visit my friend Mike, who lived about 45 minutes from me and had just bought a condo.  Brandi knew him well as he was one of my best friends and one of my roommates from college.  We were hanging out with a bunch friends watching a football game and playing cards.  It was mostly guys with a few girlfriends mixed in.  Everyone else had a place to stay but Brandi and I were planning to crash at Mikes place so we did not have to drive.  After everyone left it was just the three of us.  We were all a little drunk but not too bad.  

Out of the blue Brandi asks Mike about her and my other friend James hooking up with her friend Kim and having a threesome.  One of of my wife's (still my girlfriend at the time) close friends Kim was a bit on the slutty side and had recently hooked up with my Mike and James at a party we were at.  Kim told Brandi and she had told me about it, but I did not think she'd bring it up to Mike.  Apparently Kim did not fuck them but had sucked them both off.  Anyway, this lead to an entire discussion and me being outed for a threesome I had done with another close friend of mine and Mike, named James, and a girl we knew from college, before I met Brandi of course.  

Once Brandi knew I had done something like this before it was clear she wanted to try it.  Mike is one of my best friends and I knew he could keep his mouth shut.  So before long, Mike and I were fucking my girlfriend.  Mike has a pretty big dick (I knew this), and it was bigger than anything Brandi had had before.  While I am average at about 6 inches but not thick, Mike is sporting close to 8 with good girth.  I fucked her for a while first before he could fit it in her and he still had to take it easy.  Mike enjoyed slapping her ass and pulling here hair.  He knew he had a big cock and liked to leave girls feeling it the next day.  She was sore then next day.  

So, that was the start of our hot girlfriend adventures.  Of my 3 roommates I lived with, one, Nate, was another best friend, and also really close to Mike.  The other 2 roommates were just some ancillary friends.  Mike would come visit and stay with myself, Nate, and our other 2 roommates 2-3 times per month.  I would often stay a Friday night and go out with the guys, and then go visit Brandi at college Saturday and Sunday night.  This meant Mike would sleep on the couch on Friday and would sleep in my bed when I was gone.  There were occasion where Mike would come to visit and so would Brandi.  

As you can imagine, not long after Mike and I fucked Brandi together, were were in this predicament where he was staying at our apartment.  Mike had pretended to sleep on the couch after everyone went to bed and then came to my room and he and I fucked Brandi.  This is something we would do when the opportunity arose once or twice per month over the remainder of the almost two years we lived at this place.  There were even a few occasion where after a night of drinking too much I would pass out and Mike would sneak into our room after everyone had crashed and fuck Brandi with me sleeping next to them.  This is something we had to be sneaky about as there was no way we wanted anyone in the apartment to know, including our other close friend, Nate, that Mike was fucking Brandi on a regular basis.  The last thing we wanted was for someone to find out and run their mouth and have everyone we knew think Brandi was a slut.  She was not attracted to Nate or the other roommates and and had no interest in fucking them or letting them know.  Brandi very much enjoyed sex with Mike and said it was fun to have her pussy stretched once in a while but she did not want to have sex with someone like that too much.

Things were like this at the old apartment and Nate and I moved into a bigger actual house with 2 other friends, not the old roommates.  Brandi was now living with us and would commute to her classes at college since the new house was only 45 minutes away.  Mike would still come visit us often since he was one of mine and Nate's best friends.  As you can imagine, Mike and I were often fucking Brandi when he stayed over, and we had gotten Brandi to start doing double penetrations with us.  She would not let Mike fuck her ass though as she said he was too big.On average, I would say Brandi and Mike fucked 3-4 times per month now.  It was easier since Brandi lived with us and Mike would be hanging out on many weekends.  A rare few times he came to the house and no one would be home except Brandi.  Obviously, they would sneak a fuck in.   Her fucking Mike without me was never discussed, but the few times she did it I loved coming home for her to tell me she had been naughty and sliding in her sore and stretched pussy to feel a load already in there.  I trusted Mike so much that he and Brandi had been fucking bareback from day one.  Mike was cool about it and respected our friendship and never said a word.  

That Fall our friend James came to town to visit.  Jame, had met Brandi before but they did not know each other as well as he left college immediately and moved to the West Coast.  James, like Nate, was one of my best friends and also really close to Mike.  James was the friend I had done a threesome with while in college with this one girl one time.  I wouldn't call her a girlfriend, but she was a friend of James.  Anyway, James was staying with us as one of the roommates had gone away for the weekend and we had room in the house.  We all went out Friday night and Brandi and I decided to head back home instead of hit an after hours party with the rest of the group.  James said he was tired from traveling and came back with us.  

When we got back I was surprised that Brandi questioned James about the threesome he and I had done and said something to the effect that she bets the girl wasn't as good of a fuck as her.  I had been about 2 years since Mike first fucked Brandi, and I kind of thought her fucking Mike was a one of thing.  I never expected her to want to fuck another friend of mine.  Needless to say it was on and we both fucked Brandi that night.   James cock is bigger than mine, about as long as Mike, but not as thick, but sill bigger thicker than me.  We made James wear a rubber as he played the field quite a bit.  James and I fucked her again the next night after a night out and everyone was in bed.  I actually went to get him so we could fuck Brandi together.  

The funny part is that Mike was staying over as well but did not try to come in and fuck her that night.  I still wish he had.  It would have been really hot if James and I fucked her and then a bit later Mike and I fucked her.  In hindsight I should have gone to the bathroom and them to wake Mike up when James was gone.  Brandi would not have turned him down.  To this day, James and Mike both don't know about the other.  

So, Brandi living with us 4 guys, and occasionally fucking my friend Mike, while keeping it a secret, was how it went for the rest of the year we lived there.  The next fall Brandi had graduated and her and I decided to move in together with just the two of us.  Mike would still occasionally crash with us and we would fuck Brandi, but only once per month or so.  Another friend of mine, Joe, who had moved to Florida, came to visit that fall.  Brandi had only briefly met him before as he had left college early.  We offered him our place to stay one of the nights he was in town since we had an extra bedroom. I could tell by the body language from Brandi while we were out that she was into him and was not surprised with Brandi's urging that we both fucked her that night.  Joe's cock is about the same length as mine but a bit thicker.  In hindsight, it was not the best idea as I was not nearly as close to Joe as I was to Mike or James, and he could have told some other friends about it.  He never did though.  

Anyway, life continued on, and we got engaged that Christmas.  Over the next year, Brandi still continued to fuck Mike and I occasionally, and we had another weekend where James came to visit and fucked her one night. This was probably the hottest weekend ever because Mike had stayed with us on a Friday night and we both fucked her and than James stayed with us on Saturday night and we both got to fuck Brandi.  It was the only time she had fucked 3 different guys in about a 24 hour period.  Before the wedding Brandi said that she was done with fucking other guys and once we were married it would just be us.  The last time she had sex with Mike was a good 2 months before the wedding.  It was part Brandi's decision, but also part Mike's.  Mike had a girlfriend that he had been dating for a while, but had recently gotten serious with her.  While they were in the casual dating mode, Mike, I, nor Brandi felt bad about her fucking Mike occasionally, but now that it was getting more serious, we all felt bad about Mike cheating.  Plus, Brandi and Mike's girl were becoming friends and Brandi did not want to fuck her friends boyfriend.  I know, it's fucked up and complicated since Brandi had been fucking mike since before he met this girl, but its a tangled web.  I was a little disappointed, as I enjoyed the dirtiness of it all and the way she acted like a complete slut when two guys were fucking her, but completely understood.  To be honest, I had some fantasies about her getting really slutty, and having a lot more partners, but that does not seem to be in her DNA.  I also had some fantasies about James, Mike, Joe, and I all fucking her at one time before the wedding, but that never came about and to this day none of them know about each other.  Another fantasy was to have Mike sneak up to Brandi's room just before the wedding and fuck her one last time, but that never happened either.  

I know this makes Brandi sound like a slut, but she is not.  She had only slept with 5 guys before me.  I was number 6 and my friends 7, 8, and 9.  Brandi only fucked Joe that one time, fucked James on two different weekends for a total of 3 times, and although I never counted, probably fucked Mike 65-70 times over a 3 year period.  She admitted she really enjoyed fucking Mike over the years.  She said his big cock left her feeling sore and used and he was aggressive, slapping her ass, her tits, pulling her hair, and chocking her.   I often gave Brandi rough sex, but not always.  I witnessed it all and Mike enjoyed fucking her like a slut every time he got the chance.  There was nothing nice or loving about it.  She certainly enjoyed it.  I was present for all except 5 times with Mike, and Brandi said he was really rough with her on those occasions.  

Anyway, that brings us to today.  While it has been nearly a year an a half since Brandi has had sex with someone else, we are in a circumstance where it might be time for it to happen.  Let me explain.  I work for a large International Firm that does a lot of work overseas.  I have been mostly based in the US, with limited travel, but have been given a promotion.  Besides the huge pay increase, this promotion includes a lot of extended overseas travel.  One top of that, while I will be gone for months at a time, the work schedule is grueling.  It's an easy 60+ hours per week trying to stay on schedule.  The money is fantastic and after some years doing this there is a possibility of a Executive level promotion.  The short term sacrifice will set us up great in the years to come.  Since I will be gone from 4 to 12 weeks at a time, with a week or two off in between, I suggested Brandi find someone to take care of her sexually while I'm gone.

I know everyone thinks that Mike is the obvious choice, but he is in a committed relationship now and also still lives 45 minutes away.  Of my "eligible friends" Brandi either does not find them attractive or they are not close enough to trust.  The last thing we need is a perimeter friend fucking my wife and telling the rest of our friends about it.  The only people know that Brandi has ever had sex with someone other than me are her friend Kim, Joe, James, and Mike.  A not close friend is not an option.  So, the other option is for Brandi to find someone, or someones.  This comes with risk as they will be a stranger and we do not fully know their intentions.  I lived with Mike, James, and Joe at one point in life and knew all of them well and trusted them.  A stranger might be a psycho or have intentions of breaking up a marriage.  I feel more comfortable with Brandi having a few casual "fuck buddies", and not spending too much time with one given person.  I feel like Brandi having a few fuck buddies makes it less likely that there will be attachment to one person, and it's more about the sex and variety, and experimenting.  While Brandi has had sex with other men, it has always been just sex.  Sure, we hung out with Mike a lot, but it was always only as friends.  There was no dating, holding hands, cuddling, or any of that.  When it was time for sex they would fuck, and that was it, just sex.  I feel like I don't have control if I am away and what if Brandi starts "dating" someone.  I am 100% not okay with that.  I see some men on here actively encouraging their wife to date and spend romantic night and even weekends away.  That's okay if that's your thing, but that's a no go in my book.  I would be out of my mind with jealously if Brandi was lying on the couch and cuddling some guy, yet animalistic fucking does not bother me.  To each is own, it's just how I'm wired.  

Anyway, this is where were at.  I leave next week until Thanksgiving.  Brandi seems interested in finding a fuck buddy, but she seems just as happy doing nothing.  BTW, she is as hot as hell so it will be easy for her to find a few suitors.  If I tell her I don't want her to then it's a no go, but if I tell her that I want her to go find someone to fuck, who knows what I'm coming back to in a month.  Part if me wants her to find 2 or 3 fuck buddies with cocks bigger than mine to fuck her silly for the next month, and part of we wants her to stay in and wait for me.  While we plan on starting a family, we are in our 20's an want to live it up while we can.  

When I was your age in a similar position, my first wife wanted to find a fuck-buddy while I was absent in the military. After quite a bit of talking about it, I gave her the okay. I remember that coming home the first time to find she'd had sex with another guy was very hot for me and for her both. I don't regret our decision at all.

HOWEVER, she took that permission I gave her for granted, and in subsequent absences she took on a series of lovers, some of whom abused her. Understand that if you go down this road you will lose control of her, and bad things can result. I won't say they will, only that they can.

You both have a lot going for you! Congratulations for that. For many of us at your age, we did not live in an open society like we have now and many of us ended up cheating to makeup for our sexual needs that were not being fulfilled for various reasons.

What I read was COMMUNICATION. You two seem to have that mastered. You are way ahead of most. Open honesty is what this is all about.

As far as dating other guys, what I learned from my (now) husband and I deciding to get into this lifestyle, I was not at risk of any sort of emotional connection with other men. We're happily married, open and honest, and in talking about our pasts, my husband made me realise that I didn't need any commitment or emotional connection connection with men to have sex with them. It seems like you wife is similar to me in that way, so that probably reduces the risk to your marriage. We never say never, but we talk it out and both make sure there are no feelings of any sort between me and men I have sex with.

Another benefit we've had is my husband meets men before I do. He checks them for stability and makes sure they know our rules, and that's worked well for us. There are a lot of men out there who will say and do just about anything to have sex with a beautiful woman, but the challenge is finding that guy who's honest, not looking for anything but casual sex and is completely open and not jealous in any way whatsoever. When I was the age that you guys are, my sexdrive was on-fire and it lead me to cheating many times until I realized that I needed to be on my own for a few years to play the field before finding myself (the sex was amazing) and then my husband.

I think you guys are a real testament to making "modern marriage" work!

Adamgunn,

That's some of what I am afraid of. There are no real rules set. I have always been in control of the situation in the past. Nothing would have happened with any of her past lovers if I did not encourage and condone it. Even the few times with Mike without me present he was one of best friends and could be trusted. I will have no control in the fact that I will not know the guy she's with, their intentions, or how they interact because I simply won't be there.

It might be better to shelf this until after I am back. Maybe we find a guy, start with threesomes, and let them continue to have sex while I am away on the next trip. Although, I don't particularly like the idea of her having sex with the same guy all of the time. Even with Mike, it was 1-3 times per month over the 3 years. I am worried too strong of a bond will form if she is having sex with the same guy multiple times per week.

I also don't like her going on Tinder and randomly fucking a bunch of different guys. While the thought of her turning into a slut gets me going (can you imagine coming home after being gone for a few months to find your wife had been fucked by like 20 different guys), it is too dangerous in regards to STD's and abusive guys. Brandi is not keen on this either. She is not the type of girl to have a bunch of random hookups anyway, just not in her DNA. She gets uncomfortable every time my fantasy talk involves her doing something like this.

To make me feel the most at ease, the ideal situation would be for her to have a few select fuck buddies. This would prevent her from spending too much time with one guy. I feel this would take some time to accomplish though. Also, Brandi is not sure about this. For some reason she sees it as sluttier to have multiple fuck buddies and is worried about juggling 3-4 guys at once. She said a threesome with me and another guy is one thing but actively fucking multiple guys at the same time, albeit, not all at once, would make her feel dirty.

As I mentioned before, we have discussed this and the different scenarios briefly, but she will do as I wish. It could go one direction and make very specific agreed upon rules, or go the other and just tell her she has the freedom to have sex with who she wants, as long as she is smart about it. We were going to talk more about it tonight, so I need to make up my mind soon. Like I said, she's definitely shown interest since I brought it up and is likely trying not to act too enthusiastic.

I'm worried about the whole taking permission for granted thing.

Is she into girls at all? If that's a possibility, I think an answer is right in front of you. Mike and his girlfriend are friends, so not strangers. You know she loves Mike's big cock and the way he fucks her. Only thing you need to do is see if Mike's girlfriend is into regular kinky sex with a hottie like your girlfriend. Admittedly the stars would have to line up, but if they do, Wow!
Sutter

Stunning first post by the way!

Welcome!
First of congrats on having a wife that’s ready and willing to move forward with the hotwife lifestyle. Of course the willingness to explore before marriage is extremely helpful. Many of us have had to work on this fantasy, becoming reality, for years. So you’ve cleared a big hurdle.
As other have already stated it’s vital to have good communication, trust and ground rules.
My wife and I have been in this lifestyle for about a year and still have good communications and trust BUT have flexibility with the rules. Some of our hottest times have been when she’s “broken” a rule.
I say this because it might happen even if you’d rather it not, for example, go on a “date”.
My wife goes on dates with other men, in fact, I encourage and like it, too. I think it helps her connection with her partners and that makes the sexual experiences better. I’m actually okay if they spend the night but that doesn’t often happen.
Also, I think “dating” someone moves her thought process of feeling “slutty”?
An ongoing relationship also helps establish the potential partner understand his role with her/you. Knowing the details of coming and going while you’re away and understanding the limits of the relationship.
Of all the sexual partners my wife has had there was one guy that kinda became a “boyfriend”. It was actually great as I occasionally travel for work and they went out a few times while I was gone but she kept my notified of EVERYTHING that happened and that was hot. I liked that, if needed, there was someone nearby that could help her if the need ever arose (car issues, house emergency...) though she never had to call on him for anything. Sometimes all three of us went out together, too, and then back to our place for fun time. Those dates were good because it helped establish the boundaries and rolls. Sometimes I’d sit somewhere else and watch them sometimes we’d all sit together. Once I sat behind them at a movie while she gave him a hand job. Eventually he did want something a little more but since the boundaries were clearly established he slowed things down instead of trying to come between us.
Also, believe it or not, many guys want some kind of “relationship” not just always sex and if they are only interested in fucking they probably won’t be around long as those guys are typically looking for a notch in the bedpost, so she could end up rotating though more men and possibly more issues.
I understand you’re not wired the same way so I just throwing some ideas that might put things in a different perspective.
I’d LOVE for my wife to be someone’s fuck toy, and that’s happened a couple times, but nothing ongoing worked out with them.
Of course there’s a possibility she has a FWB and remains open for the occasional fuck buddy.
It seems, though she didn’t “date” your friends, there was certainly a level of security she felt with them and that small connection made the sex better. Setting rules is important BUT understand they might be bent and you just gotta be okay with that from time to time and know you’re hard limits.
For example maybe there’s a rule that she doesn’t let anyone spend the night. But then they go out to late movie/dinner and come back to your place for activities and he falls asleep. Instead of having her kick him out at 4am they just sleep in different beds? Or only X-amount of sleepovers per month. The logistics can get complicated some things need to be flexible.
Well my advice and $5.85 will get you a small cup of coffee at Starbucks.

brandiandme,
You have a lot of great advice here. From your post I think you have a great level of communication - required for this LS and certainly moreso when considering being away as you describe.

Some have discussed rules. I prefer agreements where both parties agree to behave within established boundaries. Some advice was that the rules will be broken and you just have to be OK with it. I disagree with this notion to some extent. Because you have such great communication I have to assume that Brandi knows where there may be a serious foul that may be a deal breaker. These are firm things that you will - and she knows you will - hold your ground.
For those that say you just need to be OK with broken rules, I submit that coming home to a pregnant Brandi would be tough to work through.

One of the challenges the two of you will encounter is the NRE. It will be different for her because you are away and you will not have a counter-effect for it.

I was away from my HW for months at a time and it took the emotions of the LS to higher levels.

Assuming you two are crazy in love and you trust each other completely I think you have several options.

1. Ask her to abstain while you are away. Sounds tough, however, I suspect you will be also. Both abstaining should make it easier as it is fair.

2. Find a guy who understands the LS and she plays with only when you are home (either with you or solo). Not while you are away. This adds some spice and satisfies her multiple man desires.

3. Normally I do not like a cheating scenario but in our case it worked for the better. T found a guy she liked. They became friends and I met him. It was obvious he was attracted to her. It was a forgone conclusion that once I deployed he would make an advance.
We had established some agreements that it would be only him, our normal safe practices, and she would tell me EVERYTHING.

It worked for us because she was able to manage her time with him because of a dubious vagueness to my schedule. If she felt too much NRE, she could break from him for a couple of days because she had things "going on with me". He was limited in calling, texting, or coming by due to fear of "being caught". He was very good at "cheating" with her - I never caught them when I was home. He was very careful. This worked for her as well because she controlled the situation completely.

You must have an exceptionally high level of trust to manage this while being away. Your comment worrying about rules that may be disregarded gives me pause. If you are not absolutely confident that both of you can keep an agreement, you are in a tough spot because even deciding to abstain while you are away would then be suspect. And, consider that when some of these other friends you have mentioned learn that you are away for extended periods, they will likely come calling. Have a plan for that.

Good luck! Please share with us your approach and how it moves along!

XY

Luck guys that they would have such an an amazing friend like you who would share his super hot girlfriend. Brandi is stunning

XYAlpha wrote: ↑

Fri Oct 25, 2019 12:26 pm

brandiandme,
You have a lot of great advice here. From your post I think you have a great level of communication - required for this LS and certainly moreso when considering being away as you describe.

Some have discussed rules. I prefer agreements where both parties agree to behave within established boundaries. Some advice was that the rules will be broken and you just have to be OK with it. I disagree with this notion to some extent. Because you have such great communication I have to assume that Brandi knows where there may be a serious foul that may be a deal breaker. These are firm things that you will - and she knows you will - hold your ground.
For those that say you just need to be OK with broken rules, I submit that coming home to a pregnant Brandi would be tough to work through.

One of the challenges the two of you will encounter is the NRE. It will be different for her because you are away and you will not have a counter-effect for it.

I was away from my HW for months at a time and it took the emotions of the LS to higher levels.

Assuming you two are crazy in love and you trust each other completely I think you have several options.

1. Ask her to abstain while you are away. Sounds tough, however, I suspect you will be also. Both abstaining should make it easier as it is fair.

2. Find a guy who understands the LS and she plays with only when you are home (either with you or solo). Not while you are away. This adds some spice and satisfies her multiple man desires.

3. Normally I do not like a cheating scenario but in our case it worked for the better. T found a guy she liked. They became friends and I met him. It was obvious he was attracted to her. It was a forgone conclusion that once I deployed he would make an advance.
We had established some agreements that it would be only him, our normal safe practices, and she would tell me EVERYTHING.

It worked for us because she was able to manage her time with him because of a dubious vagueness to my schedule. If she felt too much NRE, she could break from him for a couple of days because she had things "going on with me". He was limited in calling, texting, or coming by due to fear of "being caught". He was very good at "cheating" with her - I never caught them when I was home. He was very careful. This worked for her as well because she controlled the situation completely.

You must have an exceptionally high level of trust to manage this while being away. Your comment worrying about rules that may be disregarded gives me pause. If you are not absolutely confident that both of you can keep an agreement, you are in a tough spot because even deciding to abstain while you are away would then be suspect. And, consider that when some of these other friends you have mentioned learn that you are away for extended periods, they will likely come calling. Have a plan for that.

Good luck! Please share with us your approach and how it moves along!

XY

Yes, the “cheating” scenario does have it’s advantages; although, it doesn’t allow for the viewing pleasures or joining in if there were occasions when she had a partner over while he was not out of town which might be helpful keeping the fire going.

As for rule breaking/bending, obviously Brandi has traveled this path previously and knows the difference between doing 60mph In a 45 Zone and 60mph In a school zone.
For example, maybe a “rule” is no overnights. A couple months down the line a guy friend stops by for an session and brings a bottle of tequila, after having some margaritas and a sexual experience he passes out in the bed. So, instead of pushing a drunk out the door, she invites him to sleep on the couch.
Maybe they have a hot morning session, too. Yay! But she tells hubby everything thing that happened and makes it clear to the friend that this isn’t the routine.
My personal experience. My HW and I have a “special “ position. Sex while spooning.
Some I asked that she not have sex with men in that position and she agreed. Time went on and she began seeing a guy on a regular basis and one night he spent spent the night for the first time. All 3 of us in the bed together.
The next morning, when I woke up, they were already fooling around. She noticed I was up and turned her body towards me to kiss me. After a couple of minutes he pulled her hips towards her and started fucking in the spoon position. It was AWESOME! So hot! She was clearly being pleased and forgot all about the rule and it’s one of my favorite cuckold memories.
But that’s just me. I trust her not to go 60mph In a school zone. Haha

I also travel often for work but not months at a time as you soon will be. I'll be following your thread to see how it turns out for the two of you. From all you have written, it seems your marriage is solid.

My principal interest is in that "months away" you mentioned. I had never considered what that might be like. But I think I'd be concerned about the stability of my marriage under your circumstances in the event my wife met someone she had sex with for a very long time. She has been in a long-term affair with her boss but also dates other men her boss knows nothing about. Their ongoing affair isn't a problem for me in that it would be a disaster for his position if he were involved in a divorce from his wife (who oddly is like me in that she likes her husband having sex with my wife.) But if she met someone when I was away for months, well, I'd worry about that.

Because my wife and I are thoroughly committed to our marriage, I thought I was the most trusting guy I know. But I think you're far ahead of me in that. Wishing you both the best . . .

~ Des

Thanks for the input everyone. Brandi is in the shower as we prepare to go out so quick update. I leave in 2 days. Ughhh. We had a great talk last night and shared a lot of feelings, thoughts, and fears. I know for a fact that Brandi would not do a thing without my permission, so cheating is not a worry. Funny thing is that she's worried me giving her permission to have sex with someone else is an excuse for me to have sex with someone else. She thinks I will hold against her and use it to cheat. That sounds crazy to me. Unlike me, she is very jealous and would be crushed if I had sex with someone else. I assured her this is not the case in any way but she's still skeptical.

I'm having a hard time with the "cheating wife" scenario. I'm not sure how I'd feel to have some guy thinking he's fucking my wife behind my back. I hate to interact with him and have him think that I'm a chump. Brandi is turned on by the cheating scenario though and thinks it will be easier to keep quite if "he" thinks she is having a secret affair. Maybe I need to get over it. After all, if some guy thinks he's fucking my wife behind my back and the only reason he is doing it is because I gave her my permission, who holds the power? I struggle with this one.

Great mind SutterKane. Not at all likely. First, Brandi has no interest in girls. Second, Mike's girlfriend is pretty straight laced and is definitely not into girls, has no idea that Mike has fucked Brandi, and does not now about his fairly crazy past.

As for James and Joe. James lives in CA and is engaged now. Joe lives in FL and rarely comes up here, so it will not be either of them.

Gotta go.

Sounds better after that last post. My wife won't allow me to date other women either. That's a clue that she wants to hold on to you whether she's fucking someone else or not.

You are lucky you have such a very hot, hotwife who is loyal to you. However, Brandy is only human and you will have to keep a keen eye on what happens in your absence. You are right that she needs something while you are away but how you two prevent a substantial loving relationship developing between your wife and a lover will depend on how it all plays out. Good luck buddy, you guys are going to need it.

Agreed - the cheating scenario is far from ideal but is that "pair of pliers" in your kit when you have nothing else. As far as feeling like a chump, I only met the guy once (intentionally) when they first became friends so that I could put a face to him etc. I never met him again because it didn't support the narrative. When I returned home, she easily broke it off with him by telling him that I had become suspicious and they had to stop.

My HW had him over or they split the cost of room. She did not go to his place as we are always careful of her men and pictures. At his place she could not be sure there were no hidden cameras. At our place or room, she just needed to control his devices (phone etc). She always asked him to put his gear in a drawer and closed it.

What was fun for me was she communicated everything (as far as I know) including when they were meeting. If I was able, I would call in the middle of it or text. She "had" to answer me to avoid suspicion! Sometimes she was a little out of breath...
What was perhaps best, our safe practices where non-negotiable. She told him, "If I get an STI or pregnant I will have to explain how it happened which will not be good for either of us!" Her friend followed her rules without any complaints.

Perhaps you find a different solution for when you are home as I mentioned. Or a swing club when you are home...

As others have noted - you must have an incredible sense of trust and Brandi an incredible level of restraint and commitment to you. She will be aggressively pursued in your absence - and tempted.
So will you!

Be true to eachother!

XY

Brandiandme, from your posts it sounds as if your wife is going to go ahead.

It doesn't appear to me that you have control of the 'cheating' scenario. Brandi will tell them or not. And I don't see that it's a big problem, either way she's getting laid. As long as she doesn't develop feelings and breaks it off if he does, it shouldn't matter. At least that's the way I see it.

I would suggest that you put a control on this. She should tell you about what she's planning on doing *before* every date. Back when I had my problem, there was no way she could get in touch with me - letters often took ten days to reach me. Now with cheap and pervasive phones, text and email, it's a different world. And you might discuss a limit to how much she can play, say once or twice a week. But even then, she'll have the control, since you won't be right there in her physical presence.

Best of luck to you.

so..…..who"s fucking your hot little wife ? who is fucking brandi ?

Well, I am close to 7000 miles away from home and Brandi now, along with an 8 hour time difference.  

Anyway, someone had asked if Brandi having sex with my friends impacted our relationships. No, not at all. First off, James lives in CA and Joe in FL. I think we have seen James once since we had a threesome and have not seen Joe since. I don't talk to Joe all that often but keep in touch with James. As for Mike, his lives less than an hour away, and we still see him and his girlfriend a lot, and Brandi is friends with her. He's serious with her now and the days of threesomes or him having sex with Brandi are gone. He's calmed it down with his life. He and I occasionally still reminisce about the threesomes and he's a great friend to both of us. He might be the one person I could tell about this but he is like a bother to both of us and I'm not sure he'd approve of her having sex with other men, especially that we are married now.

I appreciate the feedback but the cheating versus telling decision is up to both of us. If I felt that strongly about any one position than Brandi would regard my wishes. 

We talked a ton over the last few nights before I left and expressed our feelings, preferences, and basic ground rules. Brandi feels more comfortable with the cheating scenario and believes it’s easier to control the situation and be discreet if the guy thinks she is sneaking around. Plus, the naughtiness factor is a turn on for Brandi and she feels more naughty being the "cheating wife". At the end of the day what does it matter if the guy knows that I’m allowing her to have sex with him or not. 

Anyway, the topic of viable candidates came up. We ruled out any of my (our) friends. The few that I’m close enough with to trust, Brandi is not attracted to, and the few she may be interested in are not close friends and not trustworthy enough, and by trusts we mean not going to out us to our circle of friends. We are really worried about her fucking around getting out to our friends, especially now that we are married.  We are lucky that Mike, James, and Joe all kept quite about having sex with Brandi.  I know Mike and James would never say a thing since they are two of my best friends, but having sex with Joe a few years ago was risky.

We also mutually feel it’s better, to start anyway, with someone Brandi may already know.   I was a little surprised by her three candidates that she knows through work. She freelances in graphic design and web content, but also bar tends regularly at a place she has worked for the last few years. 

Her social work friends are all there since her other job is based at home. It’s also place where the staff often hook up so it’s not uncommon for this this stuff to happen.  Anyway, of the 3, I was only expecting she might pick one.  A couple of what I thought were obvious selections for her she passed on.  I happen to know or have met all 3 to varying degrees. 

The two surprises were Billy and a guy I’ll call Mr. Gray. The fairly obvious choice was Tre.  Billy is odd because he is not her typical body type.  He is short and skinny, while Brandi is usually into taller muscular guys like myself.   It wasn’t until I probed Brandi that I found the common denominator.  Apparently all 3 are rumored to be or have said they are hung. 

One of the girls there slept with Billy and told almost everyone that would listen that he has a big dick. Brandi said he was cool about it and never said a word and it was the girl that blabbed.  I’ve meet the dude and he is funny but I was surprised.  I know that they get along well and sometimes share a ride home if they are working the same shift as he lives less that a mile from us.

The other surprise was Mr. Gray. He does not work there but is a regular. He is a divorced guy somewhere around 40 and happens to have graying hair. He’s a business executive and just happens to be a regular at the bar who hits on Brandi quite often. I’d say he’s in good shape and is taller like me.  In my opinion he’s a good looking older dude.  Apparently he’s told Brandi a few times when he’s been really drunk that he is hung.  Looks like he was trying to use it to get in her pants and it may work.  She’s intrigued by the older more powerful type of guy and it helps he claims to have a big dick. 

Her final candidate and to me the most obvious is Tre. He’s a black guy a little shorter than me but really jacked. He also goes to the same gym we do so I know him. We’re not friends but friendly. She admitted she a little curious about a black guy although skin color does not really matter to either of us.  Anyway, Tre often jokes about and claims to have a big dick, although I told Brandi he could just be a bullshit artist. She said he sure acts like he does.

As for frequency, we did not put any restrictions on it. There are restrictions on dating like dinner, movies, etc, and overnights, except for extreme circumstances, and they cannot sleep in the same bed.  Also, condoms must be used. If a partner becomes regular we'd consider testing. Another decision is that it only be at our place for now.  This is the safer option and you also never know if someone is going to set up hidden cameras of something like that.  Brandi is paranoid about someone taking pics or video and it getting it out.  She had a good friend in college who had naughty pics get out with her name attached to them.  So, now you can easily find them by searching her name.  Her parents, some relatives, and some friends know. All around bad situation.    

I strongly feel Brandi should have more than one regular fuck friend but she wants to start slow. I should just be happy she’s willing to consider this at all.  I’m a little curious dick size was of such importance but I’m not 100% surprised since she loved getting fucked by Mikes big cock. She did say it was not something she’d want all the time, but it looks she got that little taste of some bigger cock and wants to experiment some more. There's side of me that is turned on by her having boyfriends with larger cocks.

At the end of the day there is a lot to happen before Brandi takes the plunge. I cannot imagine any one of these guys wouldn’t want to get in her pants though. The one thing I will say about Brandi is that she is oblivious to how hot she is and most guys are actually trying to get in her pants.  
Anyway, tonight is Halloween, so naturally the bar she works at is having a costume party. She does not have to work so she is going with a few friends.   I have given her the green light to have some fun when she is ready as long as she is safe, smart, and follows the basic rules.  

So why doesn’t she try all 3? Having 3 different guys should lower the chance of her developing feelings for 1. Plus she’d be able to find out which one is best. She could keep the frequency low for each and blame it on the feelings of cheating. Is she going to send you pics or videos of any of her action? Great thread!

Tryn, I 100% agree with you. I would feel better if she tried all 3. Need to start with one though. She has never allowed any pics in the bedroom. I'll need to work on that. She had a friend get pics leaked on the Internet and is paranoid. She'd be pissed to know that there were PG rated pics on this site. I have a few sexy pics, but no actual sex pics. I would never post naked, face, or sex pics without her knowing. That's a huge breach of trust.

I didn’t mean pics for you to share here, as I get why she wouldn’t be up for that given her friend’s college experience. If they were taken on her phone, she would have complete control over them. I assume she trusts you with them!

So, it's almost bed time here and I'll have a hard time sleeping. Brandi is planning on going to a pre-party at a friends house and then all going to the bar together. There will be a bunch of work friends, (those not working tonight anyway). Billy is going to be there so between the before party and the bar party she will have a lot of time with him. This is her first night out since I left a few days ago and will be good for her since she has been feeling blue. She has just been sitting around our apartment feeling sad.

Definitely a mix of excitement and nervousness but there is no "plan" that anything will really happen. I wonder if the wolves will close in now that they know I am gone for a while. The good news is that with the time difference, I will be up for the day before Brandi goes to bed, actually, before the party even ends.

I'm sure if there is a player around who knows her husband is so far away that he'll offer to console her so she doesn't get lonely.

Reading through this,it would seem that you and Brandi are well grounded. What I think is troubling you is that she might make a bad choice. From what you said, I think she will make the right choice, knowing what your concerns are. You need to start trusting her instintcs in picking a sutiable FB. Remember, things could screw up when you are home and in control too. Nothing is guarnteed just because you made the decision.
Let us know how things go. You know, there is a private womens section here. She can join and ask for advice here, if she's not sure about her choices.

What a roller coaster of a day, especially in the morning.  First thing I did when I woke up was check in with Brandi.  It was only 10:30 there so she was still at the bar party.  Nothing had happened but she did say she had been extra flirty with Billy.  A few hours and nothing.  Finally, she said that she was headed home and was going to share a ride with Billy.  She asked me if I was sure this is what I wanted and told me when she had danced with him she had felt his bulge in his pants and he was big.

Another wait and an hour plus later and a fairly drunk Brandi calls me and says she did it!  I was blown away and instantly rock hard.  She wanted to make sure I was okay with it.  I told her I was great and excited.  I pressed her for details.  She told me that when they got to our place he got out with her to walk her to the door, she then asked him if he wanted to come in for one more drink before bed.  Remember he lives fairly close so getting home would be easy after.  By this time I am at my office already.  Brandi asked if I was hard and told me to play with myself.  

Anyway, as soon as they were in the door of our apartment, she turned to him and kissed him.  She said that there was a lot of sexual tension that had built up during the night and they were all over each other.  She said their clothes were flying off and it did not take long for him to put a condom on and start fucking her right in our living room.  She said that his cock was huge, bigger and thicker than Mike's.  She said even though she was really horny, he had to slowly work it into her and be gentle.  

She told me he was so big that he could never get all of it into her and that he had to fuck her slowly.  She said she came 2 times (this rarely happens), but he could never really get a rhythm going and she started to get sore.  She said she wanted to make him cum so she took off his condom and finished with a blow jog.  He was so big that she could only get the head in her mouth and she used her mouth and both hands to get him off, finally cumming in her mouth.  I was so horny I was sitting in my office jerking my cock under my desk, hoping no one walked in as Brandi encouraged me to get myself off as she relayed the story.  I came in my pants in my underwear before she was finished.  I told her I did.  She finished by saying her pussy was gonna be sore for a few days, but she had made plans to get together with Billy after they work together Saturday for another round.  

At the end she asked how I liked her story and than said she was glad she got me to cum but it was just a story.  Wait, what?  She did not fuck Billy, she did not even have him to our place.  What a mind fuck this was.  The minute I had cum I started to feel jealously and guilt, like this was a terrible idea.  Then when she told me that it was all made up I was now feeling disappointed.  

She laughed and said she wanted to get me to cum and she did actually do something with Billy, just not much.  She said they did split a car home, and he did walk her to the door.  She said she actually pulled him in and gave him a short, but full on tongue kiss, and then thanked him and said goodnight.  That was it, and she did rub up against his cock while dancing and said that he definitely felt big.  She said she really wanted to know that I was good with this and again, even after all the emotions I had just experienced, told her I was not only good but excited.  She did say that there was a lot of sexual tension between them tonight and that she was actually working with Billy on Saturday.  She then asked me if I wanted her to fuck Billy.  I said yes.  She then said it herself, that she was going to fuck Billy.  Wow!

At this point it was getting really late there and Brandi was going to bed.   I was hoping she wouldn't wake up in the morning feeling remorse, or change her mind.  Anyway, I had to run to the bathroom to clean myself up as I was headed out to a site meeting.  Her little story and the mess in my pants almost made me late.  

I caught up with Brandi when she woke up which was the end of my day.  She again asked if this is what I wanted and she again admitted she wanted to have sex with Billy.  At this point, I am committed and it sounds like Brandi is too.  If I show doubt or change my mind at this point Brandi will probably never trust me to be fully on board.  The plan is for her to split a ride home with him after work tomorrow night and invite him in for a drink.  I can imagine what he will be thinking after she just kissed him last night. 

Anyway, it looks like Saturday may be the day the Brandi officially becomes a hotwife.  I don't really consider at hotwife yet because what she did in the past was as my girlfriend and fiancee.  Brandi did send me a few pictures from the Halloween party.  She went as a vampiress and even had the teeth.  One of the pictures was with Billy too.  It gives me a tinge of jealously to see his arm around her and knowing he might be fucking my wife soon.  I'll post a few of the pics in the pics section.  She looks hot.

Billy looks a little chunky. Hopefully he makes up for it in other ways. If not then Brandi is way out of his league.