My lovely wife is 35, I'm 38. She's about 5'6 and really cute. We've been together for about 12 years and married for 8.
We speak frankly about our past sexual encounters occasionally of which hers are quite a bit more limited than mine.. other than me, she's only been with 2 guys, one was an ex and one was a one night stand that didn't perform at all.
In the past she has been opposed to any 3 somes even acting repulsed by the idea, so I haven't brought it up in a long time.
A few years ago she went to Hawaii for a friends wedding, I told her she could have a hall pass.. she dismissed the idea calling me weird, and I played it off as partly a joke and partly me telling her to have a good time. She's always said that she doesn't look at other guys and feel attracted to them and that the thought of having sex with anyone else isn't appealing to her. She is a bit of a lipstick lesbian when she drinks so i figured she was more into girls.. she's likely to never act on that however and I don't think it would be wise to meddle on that front, since she's been suspicious that I wanted my own hall pass, which I really don't need or want at this point. I told her she could have a girlfriend in the past and she considered it for a long time time.. weeks or months and decided not to. She also told me if she did I wouldn't be involved in it in any way, which I get. But I digress..
The hall pass idea has come up a few more times ovee the last couple years jokingly. It's not a sore subject or anything. Her sex drive has been pretty subdued over the last few years because of kids and the stress of that etc
She went out of town last month on an overnight AirBnB trip with some girlfriends and they spent the evening dancing in a small bar. This is a very small town they were in with mostly summer visitors. Really cool town.
A few days after she got back she told me she danced with several guys and had alot of fun chatting with them. One in particular was an incredibly good dancer but he was lanky, not her type. She told me about one of the guys she danced with that was a larger, guy, muscular, built who she found herself incredibly attracted to. They were grinding on the dance floor a bit and bought her a drink then had gone in for a mouth kiss, which she denied him. I guess after that he kind of moved on but he left quite an impression on her.
When she told me about this she approached me and told me she had something to confess, she felt a bit of guilt because she had followed him on Instagram after that night, but then immediately unfollowed him. She told me all about their encounter.
I told her that it's perfectly natural to feel physically attracted and that it's nothing to feel guilt over. She agreed and said she knows she didn't do anything wrong but just wanted to be upfront, "full disclosure."
I then told her that I had something to confess as well. She said "I'm not going to be as understanding as you!"
I said, I'm going to confess that I'm not mad or jealous at all. Infact I find that pretty hot. I'm glad that you are feeling more "sexual" and are able to go have fun and feel sexy and interact with guys without kids hanging onto your legs.
She asked how I would feel if they had been kissing in the bar, and I told her that as long as she is safe that would be perfectly fine in my book, I just doubt that her friends she was with would be as understanding as I am (they're all married and conservative too.)
She kind of rebuked that notion saying it wouldn't be OK but I could tell there was a bit of question in her in her statement rather than telling me its flat out not OK.
I kind of left it at that, gently reassuring her that I support her having a good time away from the kids. That she should dance with guys and let them buy her drinks and a kiss in the bar isn't a big deal.
I was feeling very excited at this point, as she had never really told me about this type of experience she's had at all since we've been married. To hear her talking about another guy and sexual desire gave me a thrill that was mixed with a tiny tinge of jealousy but that was outweighed by excitement.
She then jokingly asked if I wanted to see his Instagram, as it was public.. but I declined because I felt like I didn't know how to handle the situation at this point.
Later, when we were chatting comfortabley on the sofa I steered the conversation and asked her to show me her Instagram boyfriend, she was a bit embarrassed but pulled him up. Handsome guy. I complemented her taste and prowess, she was a bit embarrassed by the whole thing and was mortified that I might accidentally "like" one of his pictures and make him think she was stalking his profile or whatever. I handed her phone back and told her I was impressed. We talked about her "type" a bit and how she doesn't like skinny guys, which I have always known of course. She likes fit beefy guys.
Her experiencing this attraction to this guy was encouraging to me on so many levels, and not just for my own fantasies. The idea of her being more forward and sexually in tune with herself gives me genuine joy. I mentioned that 'ya know, the hall pass never expired because you never actually used it' and she reacted a bit different to it this time. Her immediate response was "well just because I have a supposed hall pass doesn't give you one" and "why would you want me to have sex with another man" "you're joking right?!'
So I said 'kinda joking, kinda serious' listen, I've had more sexual partners than you and I don't really have that desire. I know you have lost a big part of your own identity raising small children, and it's great seeing your once vibrant sexuality coming back. The idea of you banging another guy doesn't bother me that much infact as long as I know you're completely safe, I would encourage it. I mentioned she got robbed with a dud during her one night stand, and on that point she reflected and agreed. "Yea.. I did get robbed" and shook her head in disappointment.
Fast forward a couple weeks and we are at a bar after my sister's wedding. We bumped into a couple of my old buddies one of which I hadn't seen in many years. He's a really fit dude, and I introduced them. My wife was pretty drunk at this point mind you, but the way I introduced them was "wife this is friend, he's got great muscles feel them" which she immediately did while instantly closing the distance to where she was pressed up against them. I don't think I'd be down with her fucking a guy a went to high school with and whom we have many mutual friends, the behavior was very interesting to watch!
She asked him if he had a wife or girlfriend and when he said 'No,' she immediately looked into my eyes and I could see it.
After that she was off and on all over him which had some or my buddies giving me an eyebrow. I said "shes fine" and gave em a smile. We had a fun time til nearly closing. She actually got pretty wasted at the bar and puked when we got home. She was too drunk for any sexy time but she did have me undress her and wash her in the tub. Particularly her pussy.
She threw her panties in the trash back during the wedding reception because they were uncomfortable so she had had nothing on under her dress while we were at the bars which I had totally forgotten about. I jokingly asked her about her missing panties and if she had gotten banged out in the bathroom of the bar and she said I don't think so!
She didn't, but it was funny to see her internalizing the question.
I jokingly mentioned the missing panties and possible banging by a mysterious person the next day and she asked me if she should ask her friend who was with us if she knew of anything. I told her that it didn't happen and asked her why she would think it had. I guess she must have had a foggy memory
She said" well you kinda put that in my head", so I apologized and said I was just messing with her since I had to clean her up.She then mentioned "I don't want to have sex with a stranger" with... if not mistaken had emphasis on the word stranger.
And that's it for now. I haven't pushed the topic or issue.. I'd rather it come up again organically in the future when she is horny.
Never thought I'd have a reason to make a post like this, as I never thought she'd be remotely open to the idea. I've been reading this forum off and on for a couple years.
Tell me what you all think, am I too optimistic?
