POLL: What sparked your hotwife relationship?

[wildrollercoaster]

Has this big question been polled before?

[Her number1]

Has this big question been polled before?

Polled and asked.

[wildrollercoaster]

Polled and asked.

Thanks. I tried searching. Do you know if it's still active, and/or the name of the heading?

[Her number1]

Polled and asked.

Thanks. I tried searching. Do you know if it's still active, and/or the name of the heading?

Sorry, I do not. It's one of those polls and questions that come up fairly often.

BTW, the problem with most polls is that too often the answers offered to choose from don't really fit a lot of us. Not really a comment about you, just the nature of polls.

[wildrollercoaster]

BTW, the problem with most polls is that too often the answers offered to choose from don't really fit a lot of us. Not really a comment about you, just the nature of polls.

I agree. Polls can mislead, often deliberately.

I did my best to keep this fun one as simple as possible without missing the basics. If you've any suggestions for improvement, please throw them in the mix.

[Farmgirl]

I'll just give an example of how we don't fit the poll. BTW, I'm the wife of Her Number1.
We started dating when I was about 13-14 in junior high. It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself. As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). I still wouldn't act on it until he could openly admit it.
So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

[wildrollercoaster]

I'll just give an example of how we don't fit the poll. BTW, I'm the wife of Her Number1.
We started dating when I was about 13-14 in junior high. It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself. As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). I still wouldn't act on it until he could openly admit it.
So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

Thanks Farmgirl, I'm intrigued by your beginnings. Until your husband openly admitted it, how could you tell that he liked the idea of other guys seeing you?

Btw, your final sentence struck a reminiscent chord regarding my own relationship. In the beginning, I was first to articulate the notion of my now-fiancée remaining sexually unbridled, but she was already onboard and we grew it together. (So we don't perfectly fit the poll either; neither "his idea" nor "idea arose mutually" are completely correct.)

[tractorman2]

Met her as she turned 16, completely untouched by male hands,
Almost immediately i liked other men admiring her tall slim body, she didnt.
shortly after giving me her virginity months later she cheated with a man in his mid 30s, she got cold feet and didnt do the act, but sat in his car topless, she told me immedately, i forgave her.
Shortly after she posed topless for my camera
17 got fucked on holiday, immediately admitted, i rather liked fucking my gf as she told me of this mistake and she knew it.
More pictures soon followed.
Married when she was 18, unknowingly i was always destined to be her cuck husband.
20 lovers later and 18500 pictures!

[Farmgirl]

I'll just give an example of how we don't fit the poll. BTW, I'm the wife of Her Number1.
We started dating when I was about 13-14 in junior high. It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself. As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). I still wouldn't act on it until he could openly admit it.
So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

Thanks Farmgirl, I'm intrigued by your beginnings. Until your husband openly admitted it, how could you tell that he liked the idea of other guys seeing you?

Btw, your final sentence struck a reminiscent chord regarding my own relationship. In the beginning, I was first to articulate the notion of my now-fiancée remaining sexually unbridled, but she was already onboard and we grew it together. (So we don't perfectly fit the poll either; neither "his idea" nor "idea arose mutually" are completely correct.)

Little things he would say, ways he liked me to dress, how he would seem to be happier when I talked or flirted with other guys. When he found out that I changed clothes on the band bus, from jeans and t-shirt to my uniform, in front of everyone he became hard and the sex was outstanding that night. Things like that continued as we got older and married.

[Parsifal]

It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself.

I remember having compersion feelings like that as teenager in relation to my high school girlfriend. They were truly frightening feelings because I imagined it to be a perversion that would terribly offend her and also I had no comprehension of how I could ever contain and reconcile the jealousy I would feel if she were actually with someone else in that way. I had the idea that if she had sex with anyone it would be only because she loved that person and only that person, and I wouldn't be able to handle that person being someone other than me.

As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). . . .

So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

It's funny how things that are described in one sense as the husband's idea are really a symbiotic creation of both spouses. As you note here, the pillow talk was as much a mutual recognition of your common dynamic as it was an invitation for you to enact it for you both.

[kort677]

there are other reasons, like not the male not being able to perform for various reasons or the man having an extremely small cock so the wife wants a lover with better equipment.

[wildrollercoaster]

17 got fucked on holiday, immediately admitted, i rather liked fucking my gf as she told me of this mistake and she knew it.

Well that certainly gets to the root of things. Is it a good guess that she rather liked telling you of her mistake?

[annsman]

Our situation doesn’t really fit the options.

Before we married we read my men’s magazines together and very soon realised that we were both turned on by the wife/girlfriend sharing letters. That quickly turned into fantasising about her with another, what she did with previous boyfriends and who she would like to fuck, but I can’t remember in what order. Even while it was just a fantasy it was a major turn on for me meeting a friend who she said she’d like to fuck.

I’m pretty sure it would have been me that first suggested doing it for real, probably after strong hints from Ann, and she was enthusiastic as long as it was “the right man in the right circumstances”.

[isinlarsa]

I'm amazed that as of 9/25 only three responses have said it was her idea. I've been in four "hotwife" relationships in my life (2 marriages and 2 long-term relationships), and in each case it was her who proposed that she be with other men. Maybe it's me. It wasn't that she wanted to stop having sex with me. She wanted more men.

[wildrollercoaster]

I'm amazed that as of 9/25 only three responses have said it was her idea....

Keep in mind that seven also checked the somebody-in-particular box, and eight checked the infidelity box. Including the three you noted, that's 18 with the idea -- at least -- of getting fucked...

[isinlarsa]

I'm amazed that as of 9/25 only three responses have said it was her idea....

Keep in mind that seven also checked the somebody-in-particular box, and eight checked the infidelity box. Including the three you noted, that's 18 with the idea -- at least -- of getting fucked...

True, but in my case, all of the women decided they wanted to be with other men before they had anyone in particular in mind. They just knew they wanted to get fucked by other men.

[bjgirl]

For us it started out as hot talk / role play and we both enjoyed reading hot wife stories in adult magazines. From there, SHE began mentioning guys she knew, especially a coworker in our fantasy talk. Then one day she fucked him, without asking me first. The rest is history.

[wildrollercoaster]

We talked about it early, beginning as fantasy, as we progressed from dating to bf/gf. Consequently, an exclusive commitment conversation never happened. Instead, she gradually stopped being secretive about occasionally fucking other men, and embraced full intoxicating disclosure.

For me, the original spark for the idea happened a couple of months into a previous relationship. While lounging in bed one morning, I told my then-new girlfriend of my admiration for unrestrained honesty. She asked if I meant even involving intimate matters. I said yes, but I might have to know every single detail. She immediately confessed to having met a very attractive guy while out one night several days prior. I spent the next few hours devouring and fucking her while she recounted in detail how she'd taken him home and fucked him until morning.

[Cdncuck]

I'm amazed that as of 9/25 only three responses have said it was her idea. I've been in four "hotwife" relationships in my life (2 marriages and 2 long-term relationships), and in each case it was her who proposed that she be with other men. Maybe it's me. It wasn't that she wanted to stop having sex with me. She wanted more men.

I brought it up. However, she later revealed to me that she never had any intention of being a one man woman. She said she knew she would have a lot of men when she was in her mid teens. That was before she ever met me.

I just happened to bring it up before she did. Once we had the first conversation it was a matter of a couple of weeks until we had our first mfm.

[radio4ron]

It came up after she caught me cheating and when I came clean she disclosed her cheating. It was an amazing experaince coming clean with no fighting, arguing or getting angry. She wasn't going to hold me to a standard that she couldn't hold herself too, and our interest grew from there.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

I selected 'It was her idea', but it's not quite that cut and dried.

Prequel: In the beginning, she 'broke up' with me several times to see other guys, while I remained committed to her and did not get involved with other women. I never imagined/fantasized about the particulars of it. Eventually, we got back together and I decided that I just had to accept the fact that she had gone off and fucked other guys. I didn't spend any time picturing her having sex with them nor was I 'turned on', it was just a fact that it had happened.

Fast forward: About 15 years later we began playing with chastity and FemDom in a reversal from me usually being the dominant one. Some years after that, we were having hotel sex (company Xmas party), we were in '69', she was teasing my locked cock while I was fucking her with a large vibrator and she said "You like watching me get fucked, don't you." A picture of her getting fucked by some other guy immediately popped into my head, and I could not deny the fact that it was erotic. It took a few more years before she got comfortable with the idea that her fucking someone else did indeed 'turn me on'.

It hasn't actually happened yet, but if it weren't for Covid (and the fact that we are both very high risk) it might have.

[Des 31]

I'll just give an example of how we don't fit the poll. BTW, I'm the wife of Her Number1.
We started dating when I was about 13-14 in junior high. It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself. As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). I still wouldn't act on it until he could openly admit it.
So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

I love this background story! This may be the best I have come across during my four years here as a member.

~ Des

[SilverStag]

I was already in the swinging LS with a prior GF. When I met Cecil, I made it clear on teh first date what my "hobby" was and she was intrigued, so we progressed to play with couples while we dated, then, after we married, Cecil sugggested we play with couples in separate rooms because teh male half of teh playmate couple woudll seemingly always spend too much time watching his wife with me and didn't pay enough attention to Cecil.

Then after I was severely injured in a motorcycle accident, it seemed that my sex life would be "up on blocks" for a prolonged period of time, possibly forever, and I decided she deserved to continue to play, even if I couldn't. So I set up a solo profile for her on a swinger site and she was pleased. She was off to the races.

Later on I found a solution to my physical limitations and we resumed our couples play and Cecil rewarded me with an solo arrangement similar to hers and we became Stag/Vixen, Hot Wife/Hot Husband players. Now we each have playmates we enjoy alone and we play with couples together.

[Farmgirl]

I'll just give an example of how we don't fit the poll. BTW, I'm the wife of Her Number1.
We started dating when I was about 13-14 in junior high. It didn't take long before I could tell he liked the idea of other guys seeing me. He couldn't admit it to me or to himself. As time went on I became more sure of it and was positive when he finally got up the courage to start pillow talking about it after we got married (me 18). I still wouldn't act on it until he could openly admit it.
So, yes, he did bring it up, but by that time I was well aware and was onboard.

I love this background story! This may be the best I have come across during my four years here as a member.

~ Des

Thank you, Des. That means a lot coming from you .

[Jasperidge]

When I was twelve I discovered masturbation. No ejaculate, fabulous orgasms. I imagined standing on stairs with five men ahead of me. We were all waiting for the same sex worker. When my turn came she would show me how to fuck. It was too early to imagine sloppy seconds per se.
In our early twenties my wife was fixated on a woman who took up with my best friend.
Add alcohol and dreams come true.
The four of us had a couple of parties on mattress on the floor.
When they broke up it took a lot of convincing to get her to continue with just the three of us. I persuaded her to have him solo. After that we’d get together three or four times a year. That lasted for the next twenty-five years.