I told her and she said "we can do it if you want"

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:00 am

Hello guys, I've been a lurker for a while now. Sorry for my english, I'm not a native english speaker. Anyway last weekend I finally had the opportunity and the courage to tell her about my fantasy.

Let's start with a bit of a backstory though.
We are a couple in the early 30s from europe and we have been together for almost two years now. Things are going great and we are still very much in love. Our sex life is good, we tried new things together and we have sex not often but regularly and it's always awesome. I'm quite dominant in bed and I have never felt unable to satisfy her, while she is submissive in bed but more outgoing and dominant in daily life, I'm definitely more shy and reserved.

Last week we were on vacation to enjoy the last snow of the year and I finally told her. Actually, she brought it up, I don't remember how the topic came up but we weren't doing anything sexual and she was joking about having a threesome with another girl and how it would never happen, so I told her that we could have a threesome with another guy if she would be ok with it. She was surprised at first and she thought I was joking but when I told her that I was serious she definitely got more interested and kept asking questions, if I wanted the third to be a friend or a stranger, if it was an excuse to leave her immediately afterwards, if I wanted to watch or to partecipate and if I was saying that just to have an excuse to fuck another girl as well. I reassured her I wasn't going to leave any time soon, I would never fuck another girl if she wasn't ok with it, I would never want to see her with a friend of mine or someone we know in our normal life and I would like to partecipate in a threesome but I was really turned on to see her with another guy.
We kept talking for 20-30 minutes and then we switched to a normal conversation, we had dinner and then we went to bed quite early since we were quite tired. While we were spooning in bed I got hard thinking about the conversation and she got surprised because we weren't doing anything sexual, I told her I was thinking about her with another guy and she spilled the famous words "we can do it if you want", then she kissed me and she fell asleep.

It's been three days and we haven't talked about it, I learned from you guys to not be pushy but I would be happy if you could give me some advise on how to proceed.

Nowayareyousure · Unread post by **Nowayareyousure** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:22 am

Spilled the famous words!!

This is so awesome. Now...breathe. Breathe again. Take a very deep breath. Let it out slowly. Now dance around the room pumping your fists in the air!

Take your time to discuss again with her. Good luck!

radio4ron · Unread post by **radio4ron** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:54 am

Outstanding!

Not bring it up the past three days usually suggests she's thinking about it. Women need space to think about and process it. Women also look to us to be leaders and it's probably up to you to bring it back up. That also tells her you are serious about it. Maybe next conversation suggest setting a few rules and boundaries so you can make this the best experaince possible for her.

Unread post by **2inUPMichigan** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 11:00 am

If it's been a few days you could definitely bring up the subject. Tell her that you haven't been able to keep your mind off the conversation you had the other day about having a threesome with another guy.

Something like:
"The thought of watching you with another guy is such a huge turn on!
I just wanted to let you know I am here if you want to talk more about it or ask questions."

That puts the ball in her court with the knowledge that you really want this.
Then (very important) prepare yourself for the questions she will ask! You will be who she goes to first to figure things out. If you aren't sure of the answer there are lots of threads here that could possibly help.
She may even want to join herself and do her own research.

Good luck and remember to enjoy each baby step along the journey.

Des 31 · Unread post by **Des 31** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 12:19 pm

Yeah, I agree with 2inUPMichigan. It's time to bring it up. Ask if she is willing to place a personals ad for a guy (or respond to one in your area). That is essentially how our marital agreement began - although there's a little more to the story as those who follow our thread know.

~Des

Mysecret · Unread post by **Mysecret** » Mon Mar 14, 2022 12:43 pm

I would bring it up but don't be pishy. Tell her how you feel and assure her there is no pressure on her. You have to make sure she knows that this possible experience/journey is about her and her desires.
Tell her to take all the time she needs

SuperHW2021 · Unread post by **SuperHW2021** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 3:31 am

This is the same place where me and my wife are at in the journey, she knows and we have had a few conversations over it.

We roleplay it during sex and she gets very turned on. Its not everytime we have sex but every couple of weeks. This weekend her silicone "boyfriend" stopped by for example.

We have not taken it further as life keeps getting in the way.

So my suggestion would be to bring some of the roleplay into the bedroom and see how she responds. But also have conversations out of the bedroom about it when sex is not controlling the conversation.

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 4:44 am

Thank you all for your answers! I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her about it but I will definitely do it soon. I will bring it up out of the bedroom first and I will suggest also to roleplay a little when we have sex.
I am also thinking to ask her about her best sexual experiences, mainly because once we were talking about our exes and she told me she had a fuckbuddy during highschool. She told me they fucked very often, even in school, and he was huge but I was dumb enough to shut down, she apologized thinking I was being jealous and she never talked about it again.
Should I tell her I remember that time she talked about this fuckbuddy and that I would like to hear more stories about her past or is it better to just fantasize about a new guy and to roleplay?

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 4:51 am

Mysecret wrote: ↑
Mon Mar 14, 2022 12:43 pm
I would bring it up but don't be pishy. Tell her how you feel and assure her there is no pressure on her. You have to make sure she knows that this possible experience/journey is about her and her desires.
Tell her to take all the time she needs

Obviously I don't want to rush things, but yes I have to be clear. It has to be her to decide if she wants to do it for real and how to choose the right guy.

SuperHW2021 · Unread post by **SuperHW2021** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 5:36 am

I love to hear about her past flings, they have made their way into our bedroom fun in the past.

Just take your time and let her adjust to things. Even with roleplay start light and work your way up.

vmb69 · Unread post by **vmb69** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 8:59 am

I would also recommend that she does this because she wants to, and not to please you. While the both seem the same, I think that difference is very important.

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 9:20 am

vmb69 wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 15, 2022 8:59 am
I would also recommend that she does this because she wants to, and not to please you. While the both seem the same, I think that difference is very important.

I'm aware of that and I told her the same thing. The first thing she said, when we started to talk about it, was that having a threesome is a fantasy of hers but she would do that only if she was single. Then we talked about having a threesome together with another man.

Nowayareyousure · Unread post by **Nowayareyousure** » Tue Mar 15, 2022 9:24 am

vmb69 wrote: ↑
Tue Mar 15, 2022 8:59 am
I would also recommend that she does this because she wants to, and not to please you. While the both seem the same, I think that difference is very important.

As long as she isn't doing it only for you. My wife tells me she wouldn't be even be thinking about it if I didn't want it so much. She has come around in her thinking now she wants this for her too. But a big driving force for her wanting it is to make me happy. She knows if I am happy our marriage is better.

With that said I'll ask her how much she wants it for herself after that first guy rocks her world.

Then she might 100% want it for herself

Cusp 1 · Unread post by **Cusp 1** » Tue Jun 07, 2022 7:43 pm

Her response gave me a hard on. Good luck!

aztd · Unread post by **aztd** » Tue Jun 07, 2022 8:00 pm

Enjoy

Ijustloveher · Unread post by **Ijustloveher** » Tue Jun 07, 2022 8:34 pm

Cusp 1 wrote: ↑
Tue Jun 07, 2022 7:43 pm
Her response gave me a hard on. Good luck!

Same here.

What might work is to propose a masturbation session together and you allow her to openly think about someone else. An ex, a guy she likes now or some future guy. This worked wonders for us. Let me know how it went if you try it!

BT2 · Unread post by **BT2** » Tue Jun 07, 2022 8:41 pm

Your original post was on March 14, and your last post a day later. What has happened in the past 2 1/2 months?

Unread post by **Farmgirl** » Wed Jun 08, 2022 7:01 pm

As 2inUp said above, continue to have the conversations about it learning about each other's views. Do most of the talking out of the bedroom and sober. You definitely want to be prepared with answers for her upcoming questions. much of her comfort about it will be guided by your comfort.
Of course, all of what I'm saying boils down to communication. You've already found out before how your reacting negatively can shut her down.
You already have an idea of how you want it to play out, now find out how she wants it to play out.

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Tue Jul 05, 2022 8:48 am

Here just for a quick update.
Not much as happened since march, I tried to talk about cuckolding again shortly after my last post but she kinda changed her mind, she said that she isn't sure, she just loves me, she doesn't want another man. I tried to reassure her but she wasn't really convinced, it's not a fantasy of hers and I don't want to make her feel like it's something she doesn't want to do!
I didn't bring up the subject for a while and also life got in the way. Lately though she opened up a bit talking about some of her exes, either good fucks or bad fucks, she knows that I get very excited when she talks about her past experiences so maybe I could try to bring up this subject more. I was also thinking to introduce her to chastity (I had a little bit of experience with an ex), maybe it's a way to make her daring more sexually.

starry_night · Unread post by **starry_night** » Tue Jul 05, 2022 10:35 am

muchred wrote: ↑
Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:00 am
Hello guys, I've been a lurker for a while now. Sorry for my english, I'm not a native english speaker. Anyway last weekend I finally had the opportunity and the courage to tell her about my fantasy.

Let's start with a bit of a backstory though.
We are a couple in the early 30s from europe and we have been together for almost two years now. Things are going great and we are still very much in love. Our sex life is good, we tried new things together and we have sex not often but regularly and it's always awesome. I'm quite dominant in bed and I have never felt unable to satisfy her, while she is submissive in bed but more outgoing and dominant in daily life, I'm definitely more shy and reserved.

Last week we were on vacation to enjoy the last snow of the year and I finally told her. Actually, she brought it up, I don't remember how the topic came up but we weren't doing anything sexual and she was joking about having a threesome with another girl and how it would never happen, so I told her that we could have a threesome with another guy if she would be ok with it. She was surprised at first and she thought I was joking but when I told her that I was serious she definitely got more interested and kept asking questions, if I wanted the third to be a friend or a stranger, if it was an excuse to leave her immediately afterwards, if I wanted to watch or to partecipate and if I was saying that just to have an excuse to fuck another girl as well. I reassured her I wasn't going to leave any time soon, I would never fuck another girl if she wasn't ok with it, I would never want to see her with a friend of mine or someone we know in our normal life and I would like to partecipate in a threesome but I was really turned on to see her with another guy.
We kept talking for 20-30 minutes and then we switched to a normal conversation, we had dinner and then we went to bed quite early since we were quite tired. While we were spooning in bed I got hard thinking about the conversation and she got surprised because we weren't doing anything sexual, I told her I was thinking about her with another guy and she spilled the famous words "we can do it if you want", then she kissed me and she fell asleep.

It's been three days and we haven't talked about it, I learned from you guys to not be pushy but I would be happy if you could give me some advise on how to proceed.

If she does it just because that's what you want, and she really doesn't ever feel the thrill of it, don't do it. I had a girlfriend who did it because I wanted her to do it. She always seemed to like being fucked by other guys but always told me that what she really wanted was being just with me. I didn't listen carefully and she left me. She said that what she always wanted was to be exclusive to me and no one else. This is mainly why she left me. It sucks.

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Tue Jul 05, 2022 10:55 am

That's exactly what I don't want to do, I love her and I don't want to lose her because of this

radio4ron · Unread post by **radio4ron** » Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:04 pm

One thing I have learned in this lifestyle is most woman expect us men to be leaders. By that I mean, don't sit back and wait for her to bring it up again, if you want to do you you should be the one to bring it back up with the timings right. Good luck to you both and we hope you have as much fun as we have!

irishstag41 · Unread post by **irishstag41** » Fri Jul 08, 2022 7:27 pm

The next time you have sex ask her to imagine another guy is fucking her while you are watching from the corner of the room . Start with '"you " kissing her ,giving oral etc .Then have her in the doggy position. "Leave "the room. Invite your imaginary friend in. Say nothing while he fucks her . It works every time!!! She'll love it

muchred · Unread post by **muchred** » Sun Mar 05, 2023 11:58 am

It's been a long time but I have an update.
Yesterday we were having a bed talk and we talked about enjoying professional massages, I've never had one but she has. She asked me out of the blue if I would want to receive an happy ending if the masseuse would have proposed one, I was taken by surprise and I said that probably I would have refused, but it would have depended on the mood and the relationship with the other person. I asked her the same question and she said that if she found the masseur attractive she would have agreed. I was speechless, she teased me a little and asked if I would be jealous, I was horny to be honest and she noticed that. We talked about it a little bit and then we changed subject.
I didn't bring it up when we had sex today because I didn't feel it was the right time but I'm already thinking about bringing it up the next time I give her a massage.

just_cuck · Unread post by **just_cuck** » Sun Mar 05, 2023 2:07 pm

Wow! That's a good sign. I hope both of you discover some magic soon

Our Hotwives

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