RHotwife1981 wrote: ↑Wed Jan 03, 2024 2:23 am
Planing a HW date, not introducing HW. I already introduced it. Didn’t go over well. I’m hoping after a night out with friends, she will see things differently.
A lot of women have a fear of moving forward with hot wifing. They fear that they will damage their marriage, and they mistrust our motives on why we want them to do it. It also goes against every thing they were raised to believe. Our culture has a strong value that monogamy is the only moral thing. It is what builds strong families, and a strong base of support for children. Women have been brainwashed their whole life that breaking monogamy will break up the family, ruin the family unit, and damage that wholesome home life for children.
Until they are introduced to hot wifing, as a common thing that a lot of couples practice, all of the other descriptions of this are negative ones. The words are things like cheater, slut, whore, harlot, philanderer, homewrecker. Then we come along and tell them to forget all that that it's really okay, and it's just having fun. But society tells them that they are rejecting their proper role as a good wife, protective mother, and homemaker.
My wife had a hard time understanding why I would fantasize about her being with other men. I spent a lot of time talking to her about my feelings and why it was a fantasy of mine. I told her that I was proud to be married to her, and proud of how beautiful and sexy she is. I told her that I liked it when I caught other men checking her out because it was an ego trip, knowing that these men were envious of me for having such a beautiful wife.
She didn't believe that men checked her out. She thought of herself as a housewife and mother, who was past her prime. When we would go out, I would tell her which men checked her out. She didn't believe me, and accuse me of making it up. When she would get up at a restaurant or a bar, to go to the ladies room, I would tell her which men checked her out. She would take another walk through the restaurant or bar and smile at each of them to see their reaction. She started to believe me. It took a while to get her to realize this.
I started asking her to meet me for a drink after work. I would pick an upscale cocktail lounge in a hotel that might have a conference in town, and ask her to meet me at the bar. I would hide at a distant table and let her sit at the bar by herself for a bit. Guys would sit next to her and chat her up. She works in a job where she dresses up for work, in professional attire. Sometimes it was quite obvious that guy's were checking her out, or trying to hit on her.
She would be at a part of the bar where no one else was sitting, with lots of empty seats, and guys would sit near her so they could talk to her. Eventually I would go over and join her. I finally confessed to her that I would watch her from the distant seat. I told her it excited me to see men try to meet her and pick her up. She told me she thought I was crazy. I told her again, that it was exciting to know that she was so beautiful, that other men wanted her, but that she was my wife and I knew that she would go home with me. I told her it was an ego trip to have other men show interest in her, knowing that she was my wife.
She admitted to me, after a while, that it was kind of fun too have guys be interested in her. It took her a long time to believe that she was really still attractive. We did a lot of talking and processing about it to help her understand why it excited me. I told her that the fantasy of her actually going up to a hotel room with one of these men, was just another level of the fantasy and ego trip of other men desiring her.
It took a lot of trials of doing this, and talking about it, for her to start feeling more comfortable with it. It took us a long time. Sometimes she would comment that one of the guys who talked her up, seemed really nice, and she liked talking to him.
She and I have always had a habit of talking with each other openly about other people we find attractive. We talk about our celebrity crushes and people we know, that we each find attractive, and people we see out in public. Eventually she felt more comfortable admitting that some of the guys who flirted with her at the bar, were guys she found attractive and interesting. Of course for her, it was as much about her getting a good feel for their personality, as finding them attractive.
After she finally felt more comfortable admitting some attractions to me, I started asking her to imagine that she would go up to a hotel room with them, and what she would imagine doing with them. This part was hard for her. She felt guilty even imagining sleeping with another man, and describing to me what they would do together.
We would do this in bed, and would be touching and stroking each other. One time she had my penis in her hand, when she told me about imagining that one of the men from the bar was having hot sex with her. She could feel my penis getting harder in her hand and she exclaimed, "Oh my god! This stuff really turns you on! I never really believed you before. This is so weird!"
That was a turning point for us. She started to realize that she wasn't being a cheating disloyal wife, she was indulging me in something that turned me on and gave me pleasure.