Reserved, Only For…

[The good hub]

Understandable if it's a position she can't handle or something towards that line...but as far as... say she does anal with him when she's refused me, or swallow him etc.

Things she could do with both but only chooses to do with him, I would deem that as disrespectful and that would be a big problem.

I agree

[Breakerhymen]

One of the purposes of HW is to give the wife an opportunity to experience sex with men that is different from us. And it can occur that certain other guys fire up a woman's limbic system so she wants to do something different with him. The example above of a wife letting another guy take her anally because it is important to him rather than to the husband is another example of how a wife's desire to please another man who wants to do things the husband is not interested in can lead to disjiunction between the husband and the lover.
Ruth likes receiving oral sex, which has not worked well for me. Finding guys who love doing that for her works great, because she doesn't want me doing things she senses/knows don't work for me.

I also don't want to compete with our extra guys. I want us to work together to do things for Ruth that I alone cannot do. Sometimes that makes for different sex.

What is it that doesnt work with oral sex…..

[DebsHub]

For most of our marriage, Debbie would never put my cock in her mouth after we had fucked.

We separated for a while and she had a torrid affair with a lover that lasted about 2 years. When we reconciled, I noticed mostly little things she did that were different from the way they were before but lo and behold the most obvious was without me asking (I never thought she would) she started to suck my cock after we fucked.

I asked her why the change of heart and she told me Joe, her lover, asked her to and in her lust she agreed (she was trying to impress him, she was 10 years older). She told me that once she did it she discovered she liked it, but also said the liked it better with him. Thank you Joe

[NWCouple1963]

This happened with me and my ex wife during our first MFM. She would never take me in her mouth after we had fucked but this night she did it without any hesitation to both of us - very hot to watch!!

She also enjoyed seeing me suck him which turned her on like you wouldn’t believe!!!

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

This is a concept that I've never understood.

If a lady enjoys an activity, why would she not want to do it with both her husband and any lovers/FWBs she might be playing with? Maybe it's partly because of the reason why L and I are exploring this lifestyle but, I would be extremely hurt if she discovered she liked a certain activity and then refused to do it with me. Honestly, it might even be marriage ending.

It's a power/contol thing for her.

I think this might be the thing that makes me so uncomfortable with it. I don't engage in power play dynamics in my personal or professional life, I don't want them in my relationship either. We're equal partners in our marriage.

Good on those of you that enjoy these kinds of games, not for me though

[DaveS]

OP: "HWs, anything that you will only do for your bull and not your hubby; or anything you’ll let your bull do to you and not allow hubby to do the same?"

This is a concept that I've never understood.

If a lady enjoys an activity, why would she not want to do it with both her husband and any lovers/FWBs she might be playing with? Maybe it's partly because of the reason why L and I are exploring this lifestyle but, I would be extremely hurt if she discovered she liked a certain activity and then refused to do it with me. Honestly, it might even be marriage ending.

It seems to me that the OP is based on a "cuckold perspective" - that the HW would allow the bull sexual experiences not given to the husband. For a stag/vixen couple, it might be just the opposite - there might be things that the couple would agree that are reserved for their marriage only and not for the playmates - more a pure swinger outlook. While I resonate more with the latter personally, I also think it is almost silly to state that there will be restrictions as to what the HW will do when actually having sex with either the husband or the playmate (other than an agreement to wear a condom) - because in the heat of the moment, such agreements are easily forgotten or dismissed.

Although I don't think that it would be "marriage ending" if my wife told me that she was reserving a given activity for a playmate - and refusing me - it would certainly end my consent to any form of open marriage.