Who would you rather?

[underthepeach]

This is going to sound like bit from "Family Guy".

Who would you rather watch sex with: Scarlett Johansson with Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson with Steve Buscemi?

Why am I asking this question? The last gentleman my wife was with is nowhere near her level. I mean he totally out-kicked his coverage. Should I care if she doesn't worry that much about his looks? According to her he checked her boxes: He has a dick and can form two coherent sentences and finally he is in the age group she requires. Don't get me wrong, this fella is clean and well educated. But damn in the looks department they are oil and water.

All others she has met before did not bother me in the least; just this one. Note, she flies solo so I'm not in the room but to even think about her with him bothers me. Maybe I shouldn't care so long as she enjoys herself. I feel like I'm being "petty" and should get over it.

[Long Lurker 34]

This is going to sound like bit from "Family Guy".

Who would you rather watch sex with: Scarlett Johansson with Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson with Steve Buscemi?

Why am I asking this question? The last gentleman my wife was with is nowhere near her level. I mean he totally out-kicked his coverage. Should I care if she doesn't worry that much about his looks? According to her he checked her boxes: He has a dick and can form two coherent sentences and finally he is in the age group she requires. Don't get me wrong, this fella is clean and well educated. But damn in the looks department they are oil and water.

All others she has met before did not bother me in the least; just this one. Note, she flies solo so I'm not in the room but to even think about her with him bothers me. Maybe I shouldn't care so long as she enjoys herself. I feel like I'm being "petty" and should get over it.

UP - "Petty" perhaps. Probably on some level you figure didn't have to try as hard as you did to get her and find it annoying.
- As long as she is ok with him what does it matter.
- In one way it's sort of hot that a not so great looking guy managed to level up.

[2inUPMichigan]

You are thinking with your eyes. In other words you are considering men from an appearance standpoint

As a hotwife I can tell you that looks are not in my top 3....not even in my top 5 items on my list.
I do not get turned on just looking at a physically attractive man. He has to have a lot more than that for me to be interested.

Maybe your wife is like me? Have you asked her what qualities SHE is looking for in a play partner?

[rooster444]

This might come as some kind of news, but women are complex cats. What they find attractive or sexually appealing or funny or interesting or..or..or.. will always be a puzzle to the rest of us.

[ugcp]

I will echo that a lot of women don't consider classic physical attractiveness as critical, especially for a one off or temporary sexual arrangement. Like 2iUM said, there are more important qualifications women tend to care about, both in general match-up evaluations as well as attraction indicators. Intelligence, humour, confidence/assertiveness/dominance, communication, ability to romance, consideration/empathy... there are so many other attraction factors that can be much more important. Most women would rather an "ugly" dude that makes them enjoy themselves (have fun, feel sexy & desired, laugh, etc) when they're together over a "hot" guy that offers nothing else beyond his appearance.

I've also known women that may have had some kink factor for men that are specifically older, less attractive, etc. So in that regard, it could even turn that traditional evaluation/rating approach on its head. For them, a traditionally less attractive partner has some exciting allure.

[Cdncuck]

My wife has been with some guys that surprised me. I didn't think they would appeal to her based on looks. However, men and women don't measure attractive through the same lens.

Ultimately, who she sleeps with is up to her. She says intelligence and a sense of humor is far more important than looks. As long as she is happy and having fun that's what really matters in the end.

[Farmgirl]

Maybe I shouldn't care so long as she enjoys herself. I feel like I'm being "petty" and should get over it.

Now, you're beginning to think

[Tire_Kicker]

This is going to sound like bit from "Family Guy".

Who would you rather watch sex with: Scarlett Johansson with Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson with Steve Buscemi?

Why am I asking this question? The last gentleman my wife was with is nowhere near her level. I mean he totally out-kicked his coverage. Should I care if she doesn't worry that much about his looks? According to her he checked her boxes: He has a dick and can form two coherent sentences and finally he is in the age group she requires. Don't get me wrong, this fella is clean and well educated. But damn in the looks department they are oil and water.

All others she has met before did not bother me in the least; just this one. Note, she flies solo so I'm not in the room but to even think about her with him bothers me. Maybe I shouldn't care so long as she enjoys herself. I feel like I'm being "petty" and should get over it.

I don't think you're being petty at all. My wife is the star of all my fantasies, as such I would find an unattractive partner to be a buzz kill.

This is not to say it can't or won't happen but you are entitled to your feelings. There seem to be some strong opinions to the contrary, just letting you know you're not alone.

[zorro]

I respect other opinions on this, but I have to second Farmgirl's response: You are petty, not thinking about what she wants, and should get over it.

Her choice of guys to fuck is not about you. it's about her.

[Breakerhymen]

I respectfully disagree—hotwifery is a shared fantasy between a wife and husband…..if its not working for either party communicate why and either party should respect the others wishes…..when the wife gets to call all the shots without any regard to husbands feelings its no longer a shared “loving” experience……

[Her number1]

I respectfully disagree—hotwifery is a shared fantasy between a wife and husband…..if its not working for either party communicate why and either party should respect the others wishes…..when the wife gets to call all the shots without any regard to husbands feelings its no longer a shared “loving” experience……

It doesn't seem very loving to me for the husband to want her to give up a guy she enjoys, just because he doesn't look good enough to the husband.
To me, that smacks of selfish control.

[Pufferfish]

This might come as some kind of news, but women are complex cats. What they find attractive or sexually appealing or funny or interesting or..or..or.. will always be a puzzle to the rest of us.

Have to 2nd this. Women have secret desires and fantasies that they don't even know about or maybe even like to acknowledge themselves. Like some really get off on r@pe fantasies or old men. Maybe he reminds her of an old teacher she used to know and would fantasize about, or wanted to feel like "a whore" who isn't attracted to whom she sleeps with, or just wants to be "The one" that rocked this guy's world and forever be the hottest woman this guy ever sleeps with. Or, or, or... lol. There's really no way of knowing why she chose this guy, unless she tells you, but ultimately the reason doesn't matter. The fact is that made a decision was made and it sounds like she liked him well enough. And that's good enough.

I mean, I get what you are feeling I guess. Part of what you want (or at least I want) from this lifestyle is knowing that she's experiencing things that you can't give her, and as long as she's sleeping with "Brad Pitt", you feel good that she's getting something that you can't give her, except that you helped give it to her. But when she's "sleeping down" to someone you deem maybe "less than" you are, it has a negative effect on your self esteem. "What can she be getting from this guy that you can't give her?" I would try not to dwell on it, and like previously stated, she might not even know why she felt the need with this guy, just look at it like an experience that she wanted to try and be happy that she's happy.

[underthepeach]

This might come as some kind of news, but women are complex cats. What they find attractive or sexually appealing or funny or interesting or..or..or.. will always be a puzzle to the rest of us.

Have to 2nd this. Women have secret desires and fantasies that they don't even know about or maybe even like to acknowledge themselves. Like some really get off on r@pe fantasies or old men. Maybe he reminds her of an old teacher she used to know and would fantasize about, or wanted to feel like "a whore" who isn't attracted to whom she sleeps with, or just wants to be "The one" that rocked this guy's world and forever be the hottest woman this guy ever sleeps with. Or, or, or... lol. There's really no way of knowing why she chose this guy, unless she tells you, but ultimately the reason doesn't matter. The fact is that made a decision was made and it sounds like she liked him well enough. And that's good enough.

I mean, I get what you are feeling I guess. Part of what you want (or at least I want) from this lifestyle is knowing that she's experiencing things that you can't give her, and as long as she's sleeping with "Brad Pitt", you feel good that she's getting something that you can't give her, except that you helped give it to her. But when she's "sleeping down" to someone you deem maybe "less than" you are, it has a negative effect on your self esteem. "What can she be getting from this guy that you can't give her?" I would try not to dwell on it, and like previously stated, she might not even know why she felt the need with this guy, just look at it like an experience that she wanted to try and be happy that she's happy.

Great answer PufferFish! At the end of the day I enjoy the story regardless and that is good enough for me. While she is visually stunning the picture of him in my head doesn't compute. While I agree with the post above that this is about the both of us, if she enjoys herself and my fantasy is for her to experience all the sexual pleasure...what do I care?

Another post above talked about ego. Which again, was a great comment. I agree, I wanted her to attract the better looking men. It would indeed stroke my ego! But then I thought for a minute (it takes awhile for things to marinate with me), she just fucked Drew Cary. I HOPE when she gets back home to me I am indeed her "Brad Pitt"...

[Johnann2227]

In our swinging/hotwife marriage we each have the right to veto a prospective lover. I have never considered it based on looks as I am not the one fucking him. I have vetoed a few butthat was purely because of attitude and an apparent lack of respect towards either her or me. Looks are not the primary thing to get someone in my wife's panties. You have to interest her and make her laugh. You have to demonstrate that you are a considerste and compassionate person. I won't deny that there needs to be physical attraction but to her other things are more important.