Our Hotwives

My wife and I have been talking about her becoming a hotwife for years. Her responses have generally been "I am turned on by the idea, but I won't ever do it." There have been some events where she danced with (and sometimes kissed) a guy in a club, but nothing approaching sex. I did not push the issue, but it still came up playfully from time to time. My position was basically "the door is open to this if you ever want it, but no big deal."

This year has been good for our relationship. After some ups and downs in recent years, I have worked to focus on her better and she has shown her appreciation. Recently, she told me she wanted to get on some of the lifestyle apps just to see what is out there and have some fun.

Not surprisingly, she has drawn attention of some very attractive men, and has enjoyed it. Picking became texting, and that became video conferences. A few are real possibilities, but one seems like he might be the perfect fit, and he seems very interested in her. They have spoken a number of times and he seems to be what she wants in a lot of ways.

Now, my wife (who said this would never happen just a few months ago) has a night planned for the three of us very soon, and she has been clear with him and me that her intentions are to sleep with him that night. We are within days now.

I have sat in on the video conferences and have to say that he seems great. Polite, friendly, and seems to understand what an amazing and sexy woman she is. His physical attributes also seem great. I think it's pretty clear that he is more attractive and physically gifted than me. She is noticeably excited about the whole thing.

I confess, it is strange to go from years of jokes, questions, and bedroom talk, to a whirlwind ride to finding a guy and moving forward. It has me a little stirred up. My emotions are bouncing around and it all just feels very new and at moments intimidating.

The forum has helped. Reading what people have written about the emotional ups and downs and the ultimate confirmation of the desire has encouraged me.

I expect I will be writing more very soon. Thanks for listening. Any first-timer advice, etc. would be appreciated.

Hope everything goes well for you guys on her BIG day. Look forward to hearing more about how it all went.

Moving from conceptual to actual happens in an instant. It can be a bit jolting. If they end up alone, you'll go stir crazy while you are apart. I've found it helpful to write down my feelings during my wife's playdates. It occupies time, helps me process my thoughts, and more easily share my feelings with my wife afterward. I hope she has the time of her life and fully shares whatever you don't witness first hand! I'm interested in how it goes, too.

Sending positive thoughts
Hope you both have a great first time

That's awesome man, I wish you the best of luck! I currently see a wife/couple in ohio and was their first. I would tell you that being nervous/having butterflies is completely normal. Hopefully your 3rd has some experience and it able to help you all navigate that. I look forward to hearing about it goes!

Sure the excitement for both is off the charts. Relax and have a blast.

I hope it goes well and I hate to be negative but past experience has taught me to not get too excited until it actually happens.
there are many flakes and phoneys out there and more than once we've been disappointed by no shows.
enjoy the ride and I hope everything goes as planned

I wish I videoed my wife's first MFM experience. She was stunningly innocently adorable and porn star sexy.

If I can offer advice and if it's possible, I'd suggest your capturing your wife's first experience on video.

Advice?
Make sure to set aside some time for the 2 of you to go over what you each expect from the evening and from each other.

Is there is a signal (verbal or nonverbal) that either one of you can make to let the other know they are getting overwhelmed?

Meet in a neutral place to give both of you time to adjust to including someone else in a more public setting before going to a hotel/bedroom if you have not before met in person.

My wish for both of you is a wonderful experience with a man that understands and respects your limitations/boundaries.

OhioFun wrote: ↑

Sun Feb 04, 2024 6:15 pm

I did not push the issue, but it still came up playfully from time to time. My position was basically "the door is open to this if you ever want it, but no big deal."

I really like this part of your story. Give her time and space to think about it.

Please keep us posted on how things go.

Yes, be sure to meet with no expectations with him about whether there will be sex. Sometimes people who seem ideal just don't elicit chemistry in person, for whatever reason. My experience has been that women often know within the first 10 minutes of meeting if they want to play, so there may be no need for a second "date" unless there are extenuating circumstances. And do meet in a neutral public place. Make phone contact before you head out to meet him -- that helps weed out the flakes and posers. Have his number so you can contact him -- if there is no number, pass.

In reading OP's post, I would also counsel not comparing yourself as the husband to the prospective FB. May I humbly suggest you focus on your wife's response and desires and not getting into a cock comparison struggle in your own mind. Unless he is really trouble, I would say what matters most is your wife's feelings about him and whatever animal magnetism exists. Whether he is like you -- or different -- is immaterial. Being different is often a good reason for a woman to play with someone new. Also, focus on his treatment of her: Respectfulness is paramount. And a good extra guy is polite and thoughtful about the hubby. Without the HW hubby, there wouldn't be fresh pussy to play with. So, being a decent human being counts for a lot in this match up. Towards that end, steer clear of angry, misogynistic men. They typically do not treat women well. And your wife is to be Queen for a day (or night).

Yes, you will feel anxiety along with intense erotic arousal, if you are at all like so many of the husbands on here. Do your best to notice it, manage it, and not let it ruin things for your wife. And after the fact, it can help to talk about your feelings about the event. Keep in mind your wife will be monitoring your response to see if you get mad at her. And men often transform anxiety into anger -- that's a manly thing, right? Be loving as you can be, and keep in mind you asked for this. It will be an adventure to learn from. Sort of like sky trekking at 350 feet above the ground -- scary but exciting all at the same time. Even if you are not angry, your wife will wonder what you are getting out of the experience -- so that's a good question to ask yourself along the way. Keep in mind that to some extent your wife will be testing YOU, to seer if you have the right stuff for the job. Be her ideal husband.

Please let us know how things go.

That is some really good advice from Zorro and I agree completely.

Also keep in mind that the first couple of times you are going through this can be difficult but it gets a bit more easy to handle when you realize what you are feeling and how to deal with it. What helped for me in the beginning was asking my wife for reassurance sometimes, I told her I really want this to happen but in some moments i am insecure about it and I need her to tell me she loves me and won't leave me.

She was happy that i asked those things it confirmed to her that I really care about her and she was not just part of a sexual fantasy of mine and nothing else. We have now moved on from this and she humiliates me more, we have both become more confident with each other and this lifestyle.

Good luck and keep us posted!

I wish you the best and this will all work out, we’ve all had those emotions. It just adds to the turn ons! I can’t wait to see when your meeting will be.

Bump

The most unforgettable experiences in life are when you can get a visual on a cock sliding into your wife, and then her rocking back and forth on it. My wife has had sex at parties and at rural homes, in those instances there was no concern about total privacy, and I could get a peek here and there.

It is absolutely unforgettable.

I especially love when her hand wraps around the guy's butt muscle and pulls him closer to her.

Thanks for all of the encouraging words. Happy to report that the first time went really well. We have since had our second time, with a different guy. That was also great. It is a little shocking how this thing - that was just a wild and exciting fantasy for so many years - very quickly felt normal and comfortable. We are dealing with all of the issues of flakes, including one guy who was really connecting and talking for a few weeks, then ghosted us on the way to the bar for our scheduled date. It looks like guy #3 or couple #1 should be happening very soon. I guess we're official. Thanks again.

PS - looking for single guys and couples in Ohio.

You need to give us a description of how it went down, both with the first and second guy. It appears both guys knew she was a hotwife, and not just a married woman looking for sex. Did you get to watch?

isinlarsa - Sorry, I just saw this. The first time went great. In fact, there have now been 4 nights with single guys and a few nights with couples. We always play together, so yes, they know she is married. I spend some time watching and enjoying the scene, but always end up participating in the threesome or foursome. It has been a wild year and we are really enjoying it.

I think that the right words would be: "It's getting real for her" or at least "It's getting real for us".

Wow! A lot of changes in a year's time! Do you have any reflections on what has been the best and worst/difficult about it?

OF - sounds like you both have settled into LS well despite some flakes. Any details on how things went/going as well as how you felt before, during after the encounters would be very helpful

isinlarsa -The first time went great. In fact, there have now been 4 nights with single guys and a few nights with couples. We always play together, so yes, they know she is married. I spend some time watching and enjoying the scene, but always end up participating in the threesome or foursome. It has been a wild year and we are really enjoying it.

So good to hear! It sounds like you guys are having a wonderful time!
Here's wishing you an even more thrilling 2025!

54321

Martamlg - When I said "it's getting real for me," I was talking about the emotional dynamics as a husband who would be watching this occur. We both had things to work through before, and process after, but I originally started this thread because I was having wild feelings leading up to the first encounter and wasn't sure if I was the dog about to catch the car. What had been a fantasy for years was becoming a very real reality, and I was looking for insights from people who had crossed that threshold before.

Thanks OP, we’ve just begun and it feels like we’re days away here too, so I appreciate your insight going through the door!