Early experiences that paved the way...?

[StockingHubby]

I posted a similar thread a couple years back, and it was fun to discuss, but fell off the queue. Been trying to figure out and explain (to myself mostly) what started this fascination with hotwifing. As in, what were the things in my past that set the stage for this interest (and it is an intense interest!)?

Some thoughts/experiences that I can come up with:

1. One of my long-term high school/early college girlfriends started "soft" cheating on me, out in the open really, toward the end of our 2.5 year relationship. She decided to lean into her religious values and started going to youth group with a guy who graduated one year ahead of me in high school (she was two years younger than me). This guy was not only older, and had gone away to college, but was a soccer player and she always had a crush on him. Well, they started going to Bible study together - I would go over to her house and wait for her to get dropped off, often sitting and watching TV in the living room with her father. She would stroll in, sometimes 30-45 minutes past when she said she'd be home. I'm positive they were making out in his car after Bible study, and possibly even her giving him a BJ. Those are some of the earliest pangs I felt in my stomach, but at the same time, it was kinda' hot to "know" what was going on. Her dad was NOT happy about the situation and clearly felt badly for me. No worries - I broke up with her about two months into this scenario and she went to her senior prom alone.

2. That same girlfriend, after we broke up and I moved away to college, kept in touch with me. I visited her one weekend at her Bible college she went to. We did just about everything but sex during that weekend. One of the days, when she was taking a shower, I found her journal near her bed and read the latest few entries. Some of the hottest stuff I've ever read - her detailing from her perspective her various sexual escapades over the past summer (after we had broken up). Some graphic detail for sure... and it was hot to hear her perspective. Realized how much she had been lying to me also (she and I had stayed friends, at her suggestion, and she had told me how boring her summer had been).

3. The movie "Summer of Sam" has to be high on my list of experiences that got me interested... the scene where the main character cheats on his girlfriend in the parking lot with her cousin is hot... and then the hotwife/threesome scenario that happened later in the film was ridiculously hot to me.

4. The "Eyes Wide Shut" film, long ago, with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman was hot - I was intrigued by the idea of the masks and having sex with people not "fully knowing" who the person was... and the idea of maybe watching my significant other "mistakenly" being done at an orgy by someone else...

5. There is an infamous episode of Playboy TV's "Swing" where the white guy has a cute little blonde amateur wife who ends up in a very natural way having pretty awesome sex with a big black bull, right in front of her dorky husband... her moans are crazy hot. Anyone know the scene I'm talking about?

6. My wife told me about an almost foursome she had back while she was in college - her details are sketchy, and she said she felt awkward and didn't go through with it... but the setup and hearing her tell what little she'll say about it has always been hot.

7. Actually, the biggest thing that has fueled the desire has been the "stories" my wife has told me over the years... she's a GREAT storyteller... some of them are true, some are made up... I think I can tell the difference. But hearing her talk about these scenarios has always got me excited.

Trying to think of what else... what were some of your first experiences/memories that set you down this path?

[BrunetteLover]

Romantic/sexual angst coinciding with the 'teen years' is a universal experience. Absent any real tragedy in life, they become some of the most powerful emotional memories we accumulate.

I am convinced these feelings take a lifetime to work through. I was recently visiting my elderly parents (still at home in the house I grew up in) and I walked past the house of my HS girlfriend. I felt an emotion, not powerful, but recognizable nonetheless.

She too broke my heart, but she did what she did because I broke her heart first. It happens.

Experiencing hotwifing from the man's perspective is a liberation from what we knew previously as painful angst, and the facing head-on of all of our fears.

[StockingHubby]

Romantic/sexual angst coinciding with the 'teen years' is a universal experience. Absent any real tragedy in life, they become some of the most powerful emotional memories we accumulate.

I am convinced these feelings take a lifetime to work through.

Powerfully said… I guess that begs the question - if everyone has to resolve these kind of feelings (because it inevitably is part of early dating), then why do some resolve it the way WE all seem to have… never thought of it that way… that this lifestyle/interest could be one of many possible ways to deal with these issues.

Thanks!

On top of that, I suspect that there are experiences that sort of suggest hotwifing as an idea and plants the seed.

[BrunetteLover]

Powerfully said… I guess that begs the question - if everyone has to resolve these kind of feelings (because it inevitably is part of early dating), then why do some resolve it the way WE all seem to have… never thought of it that way… that this lifestyle/interest could be one of many possible ways to deal with these issues.

Thanks!

On top of that, I suspect that there are experiences that sort of suggest hotwifing as an idea and plants the seed.

Men being cheated on, women finding sexual freedom while also married... these are powerful taboos that only a select few (us) can overcome the stigma of.

More thoughts... feeling jealousy is a form of relinquishing power to the one causing you to be jealous; they now have control over your most powerful emotions.

We all remember feeling jealous/hurt at some time in our lives. Now, we give that power to someone whom we trust completely - our wives - and it is a form of taking back control of your emotions, of harnessing them for pleasure, not pain.

[frank12]

Ah the memories

Among my youthful pre-sexual and sexual explorations were two that are likely to have had some formative influence. At the time neither were very connected to anything that I would have labeled in any way beyond fascinating and erotic but looking back they surely influenced me.

The first was pre-high school, a time when it was more often about fondling, petting …. rarely more but with the right circumstances there could be oral pleasures. The circumstances are far too complex to tell how it was arranged but the situation was that I was expecting to bring a girl back to a cabin shared with another guy my age. At first it was “hey, find somewhere else to be” but then it turned to him suggesting he would feign being asleep.

A bit of illicitly-acquired alcohol was involved and that probably contribute to her lowered inhibitions. It was not the first time we had played but this was hot knowing he was watching as she agreed to get her top off and then - wow - to remove her shorts to get some pussy licking. She loved it, gently squirming around and clearly muffling her orgasm - not sure if that was because she knew he was up on the upper bunk watching us on the floor or just usual caution.

A bit more fingering and enjoying her breasts but it wasn’t long before she had to find her way back to the girl’s cabin.

The second tableau played out in high school. This time the situation involved a good friend who had his girlfriend with him and we were hanging out at my house after a beach day. Late at night and a few beers he started pawing her a bit but she kinda shrugged him away and then surprisingly pulled my hand to her breast atop her t-shirt. It was clearly an invitation and soon we were kissing (sloppily). At first it was more of a MFM thing with both of us fondling her and he was moving down to lick her a while but It was quickly obvious that she was pushing him away.

And after a while he moved away and was just watching as I got the rest of her clothes off and had her sucking my cock then fucking her with her ankles up on my shoulders. We were having to stay rather quiet but she made some good orgasm grunts.

There was no particular fallout after that - she remains his girlfriend and there were no tensions. We continued to hang out but the scene was not repeated.

It was many years later I experienced a couple who enjoyed my participation as a fulcrum for the hubby’s submissiveness, but I was probably well prepared for that.

[StockingHubby]

Thanks for the insights Frank. Reminds me that in teen years and college, it’s common to have various forms of. On-private sex.

[slenderfish]

5. There is an infamous episode of Playboy TV's "Swing" where the white guy has a cute little blonde amateur wife who ends up in a very natural way having pretty awesome sex with a big black bull, right in front of her dorky husband... her moans are crazy hot. Anyone know the scene I'm talking about?

Yes, I know the exact one you are talking about. His look is a bit Scandinavian. But more dorky than anything. So dorky that they were all in the "Red Room" for a big group encounter but none of the other couples or women were responding to him and they all left the room, with his wife deep into passion with the black guy, and the dorky guy kind of standing there on the sideline watching. It is quite hot to me and I stumble onto it from time to time, and am always pleased to revisit it!

[StockingHubby]

5. There is an infamous episode of Playboy TV's "Swing" where the white guy has a cute little blonde amateur wife who ends up in a very natural way having pretty awesome sex with a big black bull, right in front of her dorky husband... her moans are crazy hot. Anyone know the scene I'm talking about?

Yes, I know the exact one you are talking about. His look is a bit Scandinavian. But more dorky than anything. So dorky that they were all in the "Red Room" for a big group encounter but none of the other couples or women were responding to him and they all left the room, with his wife deep into passion with the black guy, and the dorky guy kind of standing there on the sideline watching. It is quite hot to me and I stumble onto it from time to time, and am always pleased to revisit it!

YES! That’s the one! Loved how we got to watch her entry into the lifestyle - super hot!

[bewareoflizzy]

My earliest experiences were paradoxically me being the 18 year old object of a 24 year old, married, mother of one. Her older husband somehow consented to this strange arrangement as we fucked every chance we got. It would be 15 years or so later when I would begin to have fantasies of my own about my very desirable wife seducing a younger guy. She exhibited signs of blossoming sexually as we moved into our 30's and we approached our 10th anniversary. Fortunately for my fantasies she started working part-time at a restaurant and fell in with a partying crowd. Her sexuality was overwhelming and alluring to the opposite sex and they responded accordingly. As a 35 year old married mother of two she smoked pot and made out with a cook that was 21 years old in his truck. Eventually, she set her sights on a 26 year old cook who ended up rocking her world and making her his whimpering love interest.

[midnightoh]

I'm in my mid 50's now and my impactful early experience happened in high school. I was a bit of a late bloomer; I dated a little bit and had plenty of make out sessions but hadn't had full on intercourse yet. I was at a ski resort in Ohio for a winter festival with a few friends, we snuck into the resort bar in the building next to our room (as we had done many times at this resort) and were playing drinking games, enjoying the band, the place was packed with both skiers and locals from the nearby town. Anyway, back at our room late in the evening I looked out at the hot tub down below to see if it was busy, and saw a couple slipping out of their clothes getting in. Now, the night before the hot tub had been full of a lot of college girls in bikinis, so I assumed this might be the beginning of round two of us high schoolers sitting around the hot tub drinking beer with a bunch of college girls. So I announced to my friends that I'm going to join the hot tub, but when they looked out and just saw a guy and girl in there they said no. Off I went and when I got there I asked how the water was and if they minded company as I got in the tub. They didn't mind, they were playing together and barely acknowledged me, no problem I thought, their other college friends will be there any minute I assumed. It was then I realized she was actually riding him, he was pumping her up and down on his cock with her boobs just at water level, sometimes above but mostly below the surface. I felt a little awkward but also turned on, so I just kept to myself and sipped my beer as I watched the action in front of me. He seemed totally oblivious that I was there, but she looked over her shoulder at me once or twice and I picked up on a very slight, sly smile that indicated to me she was aware I was there and watching. After a few minutes he had moved his hands up behind his head as she was still riding him, I was emboldened at this point and slightly reached my hand out and brushed by her ass check, I could feel her working her body up and down and was even more excited that I just touched her. I did it again a few seconds later and this time she glanced back at me and again flashed a sly smile, so I kept my hand there and began rubbing her ass cheek and upper thigh. She looked back again and grabbed my hand, moving it to her breast that was below the water surface and squeezing my hand into her. Boom! This inexperienced high school kid was drinking a beer in the hot tub and squeezing her boob while she was getting fucked, I didn't know what I was getting myself into but I knew that I liked it so far. The next moment she reached for my bathing suit so I quickly pulled my shorts down and went back to her boobs as she started stroking my cock below the surface of the water, it was the craziest thing I could have imagined happening back then!

Nothing more happened other than I blew my load from the handjob, once they finished and got out I just finished my beer and contemplated what just happened. Many years and other MFM experiences being the third wheel with MF couples I have to give a lot of credit of my "bull" kink to this early experience. I don't really consider myself the stereotypical bull now, but that seems to be the most common reference for the "add-on" guy in a hotwife or MFM scenario.

[murdock_man]

I have little doubt that some early sexual experiences drove my interest in cuckolding. Some of the truly memorable ones were:-

1. When I was 17 I had I had a girlfriend (16) that I had felt up a few times through her clothes. I had always been brought up to respect girls and be wary of pushing them too far sexually .. and so took it slowly. One night at a party she wondered off and got dancing with an older guy (19) who was one of the previous years top sports stars at our school. As such he was much bigger than me, and I left them alone ... other than watching from a distance. After dancing and making out on the dance floor for a while they moved outside. I cautiously followed and observed them from a place that I was certain they could not see me. I watched as they made out, he fondled her breasts extensively before undoing her bra and took off her top. I had never seen my girlfriend topless ... and despite being terribly jealous had a huge erection as I watched her naked breasts being stimulated by this macho sports guy. He clearly got her very aroused as she later eased her legs open for him to touch her pussy. Although I could not see exactly what was happening I had little doubt from the motions and her bodily responses that he was fingering my girlfriend. Again arousal overwhelmed jealousy and I was so hard from watching my girlfriend being such a slut that I could not resist rubbing my cock through my trousers.Shortly after she orgasmed and he had got her rubbing his cock through his trousers, someone in the house called out that her mother was waiting outside to take us both home. Sitting in the back seat of the car as we were driven home (my girlfriend in the front passenger seat) I had to listen to her telling her mom how much she had enjoyed the party. I masturbated a few times that night thinking of my girlfriend partially naked with another guy and allowing him to finger her. Her sluttish behavior thrilled me even though I could not get over the jealousy.
2. Later that same year I stayed with my aunt and uncle for a 2 weeks while my parents had gone away on vacation. One afternoon late I decided to walk to the tennis club to watch my aunt play tennis. Nobody was around when I got there and instead of finding her playing tennis, I stumbled across her having rampant sex with the tennis club chairman in the men's locker room. Luckily they did not see me as I watched in awe - the first time I had seen real, live sex on the go. Having dinner that night with my aunt and uncle, I got the first hint that maybe they enjoyed an alternative sex life. I had heard of wife swopping parties and swinger parties, but assumed that was all fantasy. Having just seen my aunt indulge so eagerly with another man a few hours earlier I was more receptive to the nuanced conversation between her and her husband that evening. By the time I went to bed that night I was convinced that my uncle knew exactly what his wife had been up to that afternoon .... and that he not only accepted it, but actually supported her "illicit" sex exploits. The notion that my aunt desired and enjoyed sex men other than her husband excited my hugely.
3. The last significant event actually occurred with my wife when she was still my girlfriend. She was still at university and I was working full time. She told me one night that she had met a guy on one of their university field trips who had invited her out on a date. She told me this as we were in bed one night enjoying some hot foreplay. When I voiced my concern, she countered that they were just friends. However, as she continued to stroke and suck my cock it became evident that she wanted to have sex with him, since she had never experienced sex with anyone other then me (I took her virginity a few years prior to that). But she wanted my approval to fuck another guy. She played and toyed with my cock and took me ever so close to orgasm numerous times but would not allow me to come until I had agreed. When she got to the point of telling me she had actually already arranged a date with him the following night .... and that she not only planned to have sex with him, but that she intended to spend the night with him - for a whole night of sex, I blew my load. She knew from all my responses during her stimulation that I was actually very turned on by the thought of my girlfriend desiring hot, uninhibited casual sex with another guy. Having agreed to let her indulge, she would not let me fuck her until she got back from him, although she wanted me to lick her to orgasm. This denial of sex for me as she "saved" herself for him set a wonderful erotic precedent for us.

Although it was a good number of years before we finally went down the "hotwife/cuckold" route, I believe those sexual encounters certainly sowed the seed for future alternative sexual pleasures.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

Romantic/sexual angst coinciding with the 'teen years' is a universal experience. Absent any real tragedy in life, they become some of the most powerful emotional memories we accumulate.

I am convinced these feelings take a lifetime to work through.

Powerfully said… I guess that begs the question - if everyone has to resolve these kind of feelings (because it inevitably is part of early dating), then why do some resolve it the way WE all seem to have… never thought of it that way… that this lifestyle/interest could be one of many possible ways to deal with these issues.

Thanks!

On top of that, I suspect that there are experiences that sort of suggest hotwifing as an idea and plants the seed.

I agree 100%!

I also created a thread some time ago questioning this issue and someone mentioned the Emmanuelle movie series. That triggered an epiphany for me.

When I was a kid (maybe 12 or 13), I frequently snuck down to watch Cinemax After Dark once my parents were asleep. And Emmanuelle was at the top of my favorites list.

My theory is that lust for a naughty French hotwife seared a deep association between sexually-liberated and promiscuous women and sexuality in general. That perhaps led to my special appreciation for “bad girls” in High School including a wild redheaded girl (teenage superfreak) who invited me to have an MFM threesome with her and her boyfriend. I then had a complicated relationship with my first love who was engaged to another guy.

After that, I spent the next six years mostly with women committed to other men (engaged or married). I used to think that was coincidental as I don't recall ever seeking out committed women and a number of those relationships were initiated by the lady. But now I don’t really know. Maybe I wasn't consciously seeking them out, but perhaps they sensed my attraction and moral flexibility.

Regardless, the hotwife kink DNA seems to have been fully planted at that stage and just awaiting activation after Shelley and I got married.

[bltn1966]

When I was in the military my I woke up to hearing my roommate having sex with a girl. A few months later I started hanging around the girl and felt myself falling for her. Thankfully a few weeks later my roommate got station overseas me. I would’ve felt awkward being around them while knowing their brief history. I felt there was no way I could date her while my roommate was around.

After a few weeks that girl became my girlfriend. One night I told her I overheard her having sex with my roommate. I told her I was glad the ONE GUY she had sex with was not around us anymore. That’s when she confessed to having sex with three other guys that’s station around us. Two of the guys are in my unit. FUCK!!! What am I going to do?? I was in love with her. Am I really going to leave her because she had sex with guys that I know? One of the guys is a good friend of mine.

Then I started imagining her having sex with them. I
Must admit at the time I didn’t like it. After awhile I got over it. Then one night I facetiously asked her if she wanted to make a sex tape with me. She agreed but said we would need someone behind the camera. When I suggested my best friend. She up the ante by saying “let’s make it a threesome”. That really caught me off guard because I didn’t know if she was serious or not. I laughed and quickly dropped the subject. For some reason thinking about her and my BF made my dick hard. That was the first time I ever thought about sharing my someone I loved.