Ignite Hotwife Passion in my wife

[ourselves100]

My wife and I, both in our mid-50s and childless, used to practice a hotwife lifestyle before Covid. I would watch as she went on dates with other men. She kept things varied and didn't get attached to any one guy. However, I never saw her develop that primal hunger for other men that I hoped she'd have.
Since the pandemic, she hasn't returned to this lifestyle. I want her to get back into being a hotwife, maybe even adopting a mono/poly arrangement. Whenever I bring it up, she visits swinging sites but doesn't put much effort into finding new partners. She says I nag her too much, though I only mention it about once a week. She claims she's too busy for this now.
My wife insists on having full control and doesn't want me to contact potential suitors. I really want her to dive back into this lifestyle unleashed, showing a burning desire to be with other men. I've told her what I want, but I'm not sure how to reignite her passion for this. How can I rekindle her interest in being a hotwife?

[jane]

you can't. she's already done it so she knows what it is. if she wants to do it she will. as far as ' igniting her passion for other men', be careful what you wish for.

[Cdncuck]

She's already told you she's not interested. Leave it alone, maybe get her to role play with you in bed and count your blessings. You might not have an active hotwife relationship but you'll have a relationship. If she says your nagging then as far as she's concerned, you're nagging. Your choices are have the relationship you have now with no hotwife activities or, you can have a relationship where she's pissed at you, still no hotwifing.

[ourselves100]

I think it is just a waiting game.

[Shiphead]

Just wondering if the sex with your wife become different and more exciting when she started seeing other men? It seems that things become slower and routine in many marriages after being together for a while? Did seeing other men jump start her libido at home?
I ask because I question if she has lost that spark and it may be you who is missing the NRE that wives feel and share at home that comes with the LS? I am hoping that your relations with her are still rocking at a good level.

[Late]

I think Cdncuck touched on what may turn out to be a great idea. Role play may give her a reminder of how much she enjoyed it and also how much you enjoyed it. At the very least, it can't hurt.

Late

[ourselves100]

1. She does like listening to the podcasts about hotwifing and such
2. She does fantasize in bed having MFM with two guys.
3. Sex has never been that good between, we do have it weekly, but she is always on top.
4. Sex did get better between us when she was dating other guys
5. Yes, in general the relationship between the two of us is great

[Anonymousrob]

As many others have already said, this is in her hands. Let her develop it at her own pace. You can have your say when it comes to boundaries you’re comfortable with, but these decisions have to come from her for this to be fulfilling and enjoyable for both of you.

[DoneThat]

Perhaps have her hormone levels checked.

You can buy at-home kits for this.

[ourselves100]

She already had her hormones checked for another reason. She said the results were fine.

[Tank Turner]

you can't. she's already done it so she knows what it is. if she wants to do it she will. as far as ' igniting her passion for other men', be careful what you wish for.

^^^I completely agree^^^

Women are not supplicants to be manipulated. They know what does and doesn't work for them,

Many years ago, my wife confidently told me that most married women would become hotwives if their husbands were not insecure and supportive of their wives' sexuality. Women get bored with routine sex. Women love exciting sex as much if not more than men. But it is always wives' decision about how to express their sexuality.

My wife was probably correct about most married women wanting to expand their sexuality, but wanting to is not the same as doing it. It's probably merely a fantasy for many women.

Men should not manipulate their wives to do what they do not want to do.

[jane]

i don't know about most. it's like when i ask my husband how men think on a subject and he says he can't speak for all men. i kind of have my doubts. surely more today then years ago, but still probably not 'most'.

[54321]

Cdncuck is right on the money.

54321

[leggysman]

i don't know about most. it's like when i ask my husband how men think on a subject and he says he can't speak for all men. i kind of have my doubts. surely more today then years ago, but still probably not 'most'.

But Tank's wife speaks for all women

[MarknSusan]

She already had her hormones checked for another reason. She said the results were fine.

If she went to her primary care or OB GYN and they are not familiar with HRT (sadly many are not up to speed) she should go to a specialist in HRT.

Trust me…if she’s a candidate it is like being 20 years old again with sex like a rabbit.