Our Hotwives

Greetings all,
Not sure how long this post will go on for but I figured this would be the best place to get some insight and start off.

I met my wife K back in 2015 originally and fast forward to 2018 and we were married. She had been promiscuous from her early years up to and while she was married with her ex husband. I found this intoxicating and had to have her for myself. She was hot, a minx and seemingly down for anything.

Early in our marriage I brought up the subject of hotwifing partly because of her promiscuous past and also that the idea turned me on greatly. We had some fun with it, she blew one of her old fb (C) and on a couple of different occasions slept with an old coworker (J) of mine, once with me present where we had her all night getting filled up. Lots of fun! Maybe a spot for another story / post.

Since the last time with J where it was a long fun night she has been cooling down more and more. That particular night in 2019 she had a good ol time I'm positive of that but she said J wasn't the best in bed and we just never found anyone else that fully caught her eye, so in turn things just cooled down.

I bring it up from time to time to play again but never enough to bug I think. This last time I brought it up it basically turned into an argument with her seemingly shutting it down for good. Which sucks.

So in my eyes she's been a fun loving, promiscuous size queen until we end up having a little fun, then wants to fly straight and narrow. I love this woman to death and no doubt want to spend my life with her, but at the same time she's SMOKING HOT still imo for 45 and plenty of years still left in the tank to be fun and naughty.

Should I continue to be patient and nudge slightly from time to time or just accept the fact that our fun hotwifing days are over?

Just for clarification I don't want to be with other women and she knows this. I'm still doing the job in bed although I'm not the "stud" I once was when I was younger. And it's not like we had a bad experience either or something negative happened either. Just wondering if anyone else has been in this same situation and if the fun ever started back up.

If there are questions I'll try and keep up and answer them. Just hoping for progress

Jay

Depends on the woman. Everyone's libido has ups and downs. This may be just a down period for a while or it could be she gave it a shot and decided she'd had enough. We don't have enough information to even speculate. If you bringing up hotwife activities ended in an argument, I would guess there's some tension there. There must have been something happened she wasn't happy about.

Rather than asking her to engage again, maybe you need to try to find out what went off the rails.

I can share a perspective that I experienced with one of my lovers.

She was willing and amazing in bed and her husband a good friend who watched and joined but over time she was not too keen to indulge her husband or me when I tried to initiate. Her husband was confused and worried and had a open talk to find what was bothering her and it was a very emotional connect that she felt like she was losing with her husband. She felt her husband was treating her as a sex object and was scared of being discarded when the fun became boring. Her words were that the other guy is a fuck buddy and exploration of her slutty side but her husband is a lover who reclaims her back into a loving marriage.

I know we didn't do anything for three years, then last year on a vacation I basically just told her how hot it was and how much it turned me on, and since then she's been on a bender. I think the best approach is to let her know how much it turns you on without pressuring her to do it again.

Yeah I know it's hard to convey everything into one post but I try. Our "argument" wasn't a complete blowout and think there's still a side to her that she wants it.

I think it's a bit based on she has reservations about potentially contacting an std. She's flown through the eye of the needle in the past playing with others without contacting anything and it's a concern if we were to move forward.

I'm in agreement that it's better to play safe but there's std checks that can be done in advance, condoms, etc. Trying to tell her that I'm not wanting her to sleep with just any old random but vet a good potential bull for semi-regular play.

If I had to guess the hotwife lifestyle is not completely over with her. Cause when it's me and her in bed playing and I bring up the hotwife role playing or scenarios, she gets excited and there's no hiding that.

Things are good overall with me and the Mrs. Just looking for helpful advice cause it's soooo much fun to do this with her and we've had only good experiences in the few times we've played, would like to keep it that way too.

Thanks all.

My wife took a multi year break and then got back into it for a few years and has now been on break again the last 12-15 months or so. This break feels more final from her end but at the same time, she’s still open to using the fantasy in the bedroom.

I would suggest you play it cool.. I believe for some, this is a right place/right time activity. And while I may always be your right time, things may have to align better for her. Doesn’t mean you have to hide it. My wife still knows I crave it and would enjoy nothing more than her to find a new FWBs but I know better than to push the envelope. Doesn’t mean I don’t bring it up from time to time.

I’ve asked her not to kill the fantasy… reminded her that I’m the last she had said she’d never do it. She acknowledges both and plays along but unless/until she runs into someone that sparks her fancy and the situation is right, she’s going to stay adamant that the hotwifijg phase of her life is over. She’s 46, so similar in age with your wife… maybe it’s a phase of life thing… maybe her desire returns once she finds a FWBs she clicks with and is comfortable. For your wife those two people in the past were familiar and convenient. She may not see those possibilities now. Doesn’t mean never, but might not happen again. Who knows?


But, nothing can ever take away the past and you’ll always have that shared experience.

IMO, your wife should consult with a doctor about bio identical hormone replacement therapy. It’s a fountain of you for the libido.