Wishing to be outed…. Maybe

[ben229]

After years being in the lifestyle ( swingers but mostly Hotwife) we both have a secret desire for everyone to know..
I know it would be a mistake, Family- work - Neighbour etc
We won’t go thru with it but we are both so proud of her sexual freedom we wish not to hide. Not only not hide but openly tell..
Is this a common feeling among Hotwife couples ?
I am having difficulty expressing why I have this incredible urge to shout from the rooftops that my wife has several lovers.

[Johnann2227]

After years being in the lifestyle ( swingers but mostly Hotwife) we both have a secret desire for everyone to know..
I know it would be a mistake, Family- work - Neighbour etc
We won’t go thru with it but we are both so proud of her sexual freedom we wish not to hide. Not only not hide but openly tell..
Is this a common feeling among Hotwife couples ?
I am having difficulty expressing why I have this incredible urge to shout from the rooftops that my wife has several lovers.

The longer we have been in this lifestyle the more relaxed we are to exhibiting it. Apart from family and Ann's work colleagues (she is a teacher), we are not hiding it (but not shouting it from the rooftops either). On nights out we don't hold back and are open that we are a threesome with her boyfriend James. We get looks but we don't care. We also get sly smiles and nods and that turns us on because those people know what we are up to.

[ben229]

Ultimately.. one would assume that people simply don’t care.
But I do wonder if the feeling of me “feeling proud” of having a horny hotwife . Is perhaps not … ( trying to find the right word or adjective..) smart - mature - even feeling that I am better than you .. Being smug might bite me in the ass but Dam!! When people see my wife kiss another men on the dance floor I feel superior

[60dCommon]

One night, after being with her boyfriend of little over a year, my wife told me she was taking him to a wedding of some friends of ours as her date. She said "This is sort of a big step for us." And I replied, sincerely, that I was proud to be her cuck, and was proud of her. Looking back, I see that the "us" she had in mind was more the two of them - her and her boyfriend - and less me and her, or even the three of us.

Their relationship was mostly separate from me and from the social circles my wife and I shared. That didn't mean my wife was shy about the fact that she cucked me. In casual conversation she openly advocated for female led relationships and female sexual freedom. I know she was also open with some, maybe many, of her girlfriends about some of the details of our cuck dynamic. I guess I got off on the exposure, but more than that, it made my role as her cuck feel more "real" to me.

I remember sitting alone in a bar about a mile from home, while my wife entertained a guest in our bed. I was on my laptop, in a chatroom on a cuck website, sipping my beer and eating some chips. Nearby, two younger guys were drinking to get drunk and complaining about how their girlfriends treated them. In that moment, I remember feeling smug - like, my wife is a mile a way getting railed, and we both love it. No complaints here about how she treats me! I even asked them to keep an eye on my laptop while I went to the bar for another pint, leaving the cuck chat site up on the screen. It was nothing graphic - just text boxes - so they probably didn't notice what I'd been writing about my wife. But I wanted them to. I wanted them to know my wife was being satisfied by another man, and that I supported her - that I had voluntarily left my own home to make things more comfortable for them, and was sitting here, sipping my beer, waiting for her to call to tell me they were done.

[Long Lurker 34]

Ultimately.. one would assume that people simply don’t care.
But I do wonder if the feeling of me “feeling proud” of having a horny hotwife . Is perhaps not … ( trying to find the right word or adjective..) smart - mature - even feeling that I am better than you .. Being smug might bite me in the ass but Dam!! When people see my wife kiss another men on the dance floor I feel superior

B229 - I suspect some of how you are feeling has a lot to do with the community you are surrounded by. Rural vs city, religious vs not so, multi-ethnic vs mono-culture, and how long you have resided there, life long vs shorter term.

[SammySigns]

She has told some of her friends and I've have told one of mine. Requires some trust, but it is kind of hot with people wondering what you are up to

[ben229]

Some fantastic replies thank you and I wish to properly reply using my laptop not my phone.

[glassfull]

My wife has had a long term boyfriend in the past and she is just now starting to date a new one. I've never felt more happy with her or proud of her. I do have this urge to tell my friends my wonderful wife is not sexually faithful, nor do I want her to be.

In reality only one friend knows this and he has had her in bed. Sharing her with him just made me feel so good. Then he married, moved and we see him rarely now, but he always talks privately about the good times when he would shower with my wife and he would take her in our bed while I listened to them from another room.

I don't know if all stags/cucks feel this way, but ben229 you're not alone...

[snoogaloo82]

I have to admit I have the urge, but I only shout from the rooftop here on OHW. That's the shouting limitation that we've put on ourselves so far.

[hotfreaks]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that's had this cross their mind. The older I get and the longer we have been in the lifestyle, I find myself not being as worried about being outed and people finding out about what we love to do.

[ben229]

Lots of really good thought provoking replies,
I listened yesterday to 2 podcast on this topic.
One the couple fairly active in (stag-Cuckold ) Not humiliation but she plays he does no but facilitate her meeting play friends, The told their 15 year old son because someone found post on the couple and photos and started to share them and they wanted their son to hear it from them rather then stranger... Horrible situation they said all was fine and a non issue... there is no way our kids at 15 years old would of been able to accept that mom was having sex at home with "play friends" while dad was at work and they were at school ..But that us

The other couple on the other hand, older grown kids early 30's themselves early 50's in a town of 40,000 ish simply got tired to the sneaking around, hiding and told grown children's and close family members that they were in a open marriage ( easier to say open marriage than Hotwife lifestyle ) The level of excitement the couple experience since she started to openly date , go for dinner and dance with play friends rejuvenated their own sex life.
i guess at first people looked, stared and pass judgments but according to them it pass within a couple months.

As for us... well i am of an age that i really dont care when people think, i have a very horny hotwife that love sex and proud of our relationship, she is a little more reserved not ready to come out but on the same token not going to great length to hide it either.
Our son lives in a different city our daughter (34) same town we will tell her as its been too difficult to hide and honestly we both thinks she suspect it.
Lastly.. this is very convenient for day to day living but it does not address our real desire .. Wish is to tell the world that my wife loves to get laid.. on holiday she openly flirts, dress daringly, kisses men on the dance floor ..etc you all know how it goes but at home she want to freedom to be the same, to be an open hotwife border line Slut wife in her daily life. The desire is so strong we are purposely making poor decision in order that we will have no choice but to come out and thats not the right way to do this..
In closing.. My wife wants to openly date other men..
i want the town to know that MY Wife is free to go on dates and regularly fucks other men either in hotels or in our home.
We want to but i dont know that its possible

[Long Lurker 34]

Lots of really good thought provoking replies,
I listened yesterday to 2 podcast on this topic.
One the couple fairly active in (stag-Cuckold ) Not humiliation but she plays he does no but facilitate her meeting play friends, The told their 15 year old son because someone found post on the couple and photos and started to share them and they wanted their son to hear it from them rather then stranger... Horrible situation they said all was fine and a non issue... there is no way our kids at 15 years old would of been able to accept that mom was having sex at home with "play friends" while dad was at work and they were at school ..But that us

The other couple on the other hand, older grown kids early 30's themselves early 50's in a town of 40,000 ish simply got tired to the sneaking around, hiding and told grown children's and close family members that they were in a open marriage ( easier to say open marriage than Hotwife lifestyle ) The level of excitement the couple experience since she started to openly date , go for dinner and dance with play friends rejuvenated their own sex life.
i guess at first people looked, stared and pass judgments but according to them it pass within a couple months.

As for us... well i am of an age that i really dont care when people think, i have a very horny hotwife that love sex and proud of our relationship, she is a little more reserved not ready to come out but on the same token not going to great length to hide it either.
Our son lives in a different city our daughter (34) same town we will tell her as its been too difficult to hide and honestly we both thinks she suspect it.
Lastly.. this is very convenient for day to day living but it does not address our real desire .. Wish is to tell the world that my wife loves to get laid.. on holiday she openly flirts, dress daringly, kisses men on the dance floor ..etc you all know how it goes but at home she want to freedom to be the same, to be an open hotwife border line Slut wife in her daily life. The desire is so strong we are purposely making poor decision in order that we will have no choice but to come out and thats not the right way to do this..
In closing.. My wife wants to openly date other men..
i want the town to know that MY Wife is free to go on dates and regularly fucks other men either in hotels or in our home.
We want to but i dont know that its possible

B229 - Do you live in a large or small municipality?
- How does your wife dress on a normal day?
- Unless you or her have a job where you are well known publicly, I expect, for the most part people may talk behind your back but not really care too much.

[slenderfish]

SW shared her secret with a close friend, to have someone to talk with about it. The friend kept her promise of keeping SW's secret, until she didn't. She used it to try and shame SW in the broader friends group. Some of these girls were already somewhat jealous of SW and this was a way to obtain power. But we realized the only power they had was what we gave them. So we gave them none, by ceasing to be friends with them. I'll say that it didn't work out very well for me, in that at least a couple of these women have husbands or significant others with whom I'd been friends for 15+ years, and it's now very difficult to maintain the friendships because we can never do anything as couples any more. But ultimately I'm being philosophical about it; it is now clear some of these friendships were not that deep after all.

[Long Lurker 34]

SW shared her secret with a close friend, to have someone to talk with about it. The friend kept her promise of keeping SW's secret, until she didn't. She used it to try and shame SW in the broader friends group. Some of these girls were already somewhat jealous of SW and this was a way to obtain power. But we realized the only power they had was what we gave them. So we gave them none, by ceasing to be friends with them. I'll say that it didn't work out very well for me, in that at least a couple of these women have husbands or significant others with whom I'd been friends for 15+ years, and it's now very difficult to maintain the friendships because we can never do anything as couples any more. But ultimately I'm being philosophical about it; it is now clear some of these friendships were not that deep after all.

SF - An excellent point and I'll add that while one can be friends with a couple and as a couple, this doesn't mean the friendship is necessarily equal in all directions. We all have thoughts silent and aloud about others no matter how good we think of ourselves.

[snoogaloo82]

SW shared her secret with a close friend, to have someone to talk with about it. The friend kept her promise of keeping SW's secret, until she didn't. She used it to try and shame SW in the broader friends group. Some of these girls were already somewhat jealous of SW and this was a way to obtain power. But we realized the only power they had was what we gave them. So we gave them none, by ceasing to be friends with them. I'll say that it didn't work out very well for me, in that at least a couple of these women have husbands or significant others with whom I'd been friends for 15+ years, and it's now very difficult to maintain the friendships because we can never do anything as couples any more. But ultimately I'm being philosophical about it; it is now clear some of these friendships were not that deep after all.

I have to agree with you. They must've not been deep friends at all in the first place if they're going to be that shallow about you. Friends don't have to be a proponent of the LS but they definitely need to be accepting of what you do as a lifestyle choice.

[gnt4fun]

My wife and her out-of-town boyfriend recently together attended a party of many of our friends. I was out of town, and their "cover" story was that the friend was in town for business and was her purely platonic plus one in my absence. They have both separately confessed to me that almost no one at the party bought the explanation. And frankly, several people there already knew about our lifestyle choice anyway.

I suppose I could have been upset, but I certainly anticipated that this was a possible and even probably reaction. And to be honest, it didn't bother me at all. In fact, as days have passed and we have seen some of these friends in different situations, it has been a complete non-event. Not sure this works for everyone, but it illustrates that for me the worry was worse than the outcome itself
.

[Jimbo7giveher]

we live in the sticks...rural Oklahoma. but honestly...i enjoy being in the closet as it were. but that's my personality. and the fact that this whole thing is our secret i think makes it hotter and makes us closer in our marriage. I even like to pretend the bulls dont know about the camera...of course they do know but i prefer they dont address me....i guess i get off on the secrecy and taboo of it all.

[isinlarsa]

My wife's first man as a hotwife was a co-worker, who she called "The Player" because of his reputation for nailing the ladies, especially the married women where they worked. As it happened, I worked for the same organization in a different department. I was in a fairly high position and it was well-known that my wife and I were married.

No doubt after The Player laid my wife, he would have bragged about it, and word of her infidelity must have become common knowledge. No one ever said anything to me, but I did wonder about some looks I got.

She could have shown more discretion in picking a man to fuck her.

[Kayscuck89]

We were, kinda everyone already kinda knew, outted by a family member. Our secret stash of videos got synced to one my children’s iPads and family member stumbled across it when they were watching our kids.

[trecital]

She could have shown more discretion in picking a man to fuck her.

But did it bother you?
Or were you actually turned on by the situation?

[ben229]

My wife and her out-of-town boyfriend recently together attended a party of many of our friends. I was out of town, and their "cover" story was that the friend was in town for business and was her purely platonic plus one in my absence. They have both separately confessed to me that almost no one at the party bought the explanation. And frankly, several people there already knew about our lifestyle choice anyway.

I suppose I could have been upset, but I certainly anticipated that this was a possible and even probably reaction. And to be honest, it didn't bother me at all. In fact, as days have passed and we have seen some of these friends in different situations, it has been a complete non-event. Not sure this works for everyone, but it illustrates that for me the worry was worse than the outcome itself
.

All situation are different but the more i read the more i am arriving to the conclusion that the fear of being outed is mostly within our own head, having said that, telling my sister- brother inlaw that my wife has the occasional sexual fling is one thing but i would not tell them that she has a steady fuck buddy and often when she comes home i gently lick her clean before and both drift to sleep

[adamgunnauthor]

My wife and I had a definite desire to keep our secret. We were both in positions of authority at our rather conservative parish, and she was a member of the faculty in the local school district - she probably would have been terminated had someone at the school found out on 'moral turpitude.'

Because we took pains not to involve persons who knew her professionally or religiously (with just a couple of exceptions, where they thought she was a cheating wife,) we were never outed.

[isinlarsa]

She could have shown more discretion in picking a man to fuck her.

But did it bother you?
Or were you actually turned on by the situation?

I have to admit I was. It excites me that other people knew she was a hotwife. And people would be looking at me as the unknowing cuckolded husband. The fact that I was in a senior position in the organization would increase their schadenfreude. Little did they know that I was a willing participant in her extramarital adventures.

[trecital]

It very much depends on the type of people that know.

My wife started fucking her long term boyfriend many years ago. He was a member of an amateur rugby club. It didn't take them long to find out he was fucking someone else's wife. He did try to be discrete, and not tell them too much.
Understandably he had to tell them something about his sex life, when they asked. They weren't likely to believe he was celibate. And he would have been keen to dispel any notion that he was gay. UK rugby club culture is definitely not normally encouraging of homosexual activity within a team.
Inevitably our secret was out. I met a lot of them at parties, some of them engaging me in conversation, giving my wife and her boyfriend opportunity to find a space to have a bit of fun. I knew what they were up to, and just enjoyed the element of humiliation.
Later, as some of them realised that I knew, and that I actually encouraged my wife's extra marital activity, they started asking me some difficult and deliberately embarrassing questions. They didn't realise how much I actually enjoyed them asking me.
Eventually they got used to the fact that I was ok with the situation.

We had another group of friends, with no crossover to the rugby club crowd, where it would have been very awkward if some of them had known that my wife was getting extra cock, with my encouragement. I knew that some of them had, officially at least, a dim view of sex outside marriage.

You just have to be careful of who you choose to 'out' yourself to.

[Foxglove]

After years being in the lifestyle ( swingers but mostly Hotwife) we both have a secret desire for everyone to know..
I am having difficulty expressing why I have this incredible urge to shout from the rooftops that my wife has several lovers.

Be careful. Most people, in our experience, don't really care what people get up to from a judgement point of view...but they are curious
and there is often a level of arousal that comes with the telling and people can change. So keep it to people you trust.

And who is most interested in the telling? Is it you? Is it *part* of the sexual thrill?

My first girlfriend had a regular lover and it excited me to know when she was doing it and that everybody knew she was doing it
with my knowledge. Another ex playfully ousted us at a party when she recounted her trip to Italy and that she kept everybody awake with the sound of her bed banging against the wall at night. And now my wife's best friend joins me in masturbation listening to her doing it and a growing number of our friends know. But not everybody can be trusted and it's a risk. All my friends know and are fascinated.