Our Hotwives

Ok. So I’ve read (and agree with) various posts giving the advice of not going behind your wife’s back to try to set her up to get her seduced. I have a question however if the situation I’m about to describe is a departure or exception to that.

Quick backstory, my wife has known of my hotwife desire for many years. She acted on it once and I was thrilled. It was a one off though with an out of town guy, so no chance of follow ups and she hasn’t pursued it with anyone else.

My wife has recently had breast enhancement and her desire to show them off is palpable. When we go out I’m always able to talk her into the most revealing of the tops she’s considering. I’m enjoying it and I know she is too.

In general, she would never go online to find a fuck buddy. In fact, she would tell you she’s not even looking. However, since the surgery, she has brought up the idea of going to a known middle age pick up bar to see what type of attention she could generate with the new boobs (she would like me to be there separately to observe and possibly protect). This is completely new. Although I’ve continually stressed that she has an unlimited hall pass, she’s never until now expressed any interest in acting on it.

We’re very seldom apart, but I’m going out of town soon by myself. Just tonight she brought up going to that particular bar while I’m out of town and seeing what would happen and the logistics of making something happen if it went that far.

My question is would it be wrong of me to find an acceptable guy in advance to go to the bar that night with the objective of seducing her and taking her home and fucking her if she decided she wanted to do that. I would be very upfront with the guy that it is far from a sure thing. Just an opportunity.

I see this as a little different than a guy just turning someone loose on his wife who has heretofore not expressed any interest in hooking up. In my situation, my wife is mildly intrigued in trying to hook up with another man. She is objectively very hot! Especially with the new breasts! She is specifically going there to see if something might happen. I would hate for her to hit a slow night at the bar, get discouraged, and never try again.

Even if she decides not to fuck the guy, she could revel in the attention. Again, I would be very upfront with the guy that at best he is taking a flyer. If he plays his cards right however, even if he doesn’t close the deal that night, he could start a conversation that might lead to something down the road.

Is this a manipulative bad idea or a safety net to ensure my wife gets what (I think) she wants out of this?

Of course finding the right guy is another matter all together.

I think, if she's going there with the intention of exploring this, then seeding the ground (so to speak) isn't unethical. Of course it would be better if you could be above-board with everything, all the time, but this sounds basically harmless to me, assuming he behaves himself appropriately.

Assume he might blab, slip up, etc. Will she be angry? Could it ruin all her/your progress?

I think if she can get some physical touch. Maybe some kissing. Some fingering would be nice.

That would be a big win.

Assume he might blab, slip up, etc. Will she be angry? Could it ruin all her/your progress?

I don’t think so. If things turned out the way she wanted and she later found out I helped things along, I think she would appreciate my efforts once I explained my motives.

You could be sarcasticly upfront? Tease her your going to set her up then do just that.

A series of questions….

* what part of “going behind” your wife’s back or practicing ‘deception’ has ever been an exception?

* with your departure being “soon”, might you slip up and not do the best job of screening?

* with that in mind, is it possible a guy that has gotten a green light from hubby (even if only in his mind) takes things too far or pushes past her boundaries?

* while the same could happen with any random guy, isn’t it worse if it happens during your deception with you playing at least a tacit role in it?

* it sounds as though she’s playing with the fantasy of imaging what ‘might’ happen. It’s mental.. it’s in her head.. what gives you the right to set the wheels in motion for reality? Sometimes fantasy is just fantasy

*. But, the biggest question of all…. Why, when you’re this fucking close, would you fuck it all up be trying something behind her back with even the slightest chance it could derail possibilities in the future?!?!

Sounds to me like you’ve got a wife at least willing to entertain the idea…. That desires feeling attractive and wants the male gaze (hence wanting to go while you’re out of town).. she’s in the doorstep of putting herself out there and you’re standing behind her wanting to push her thru..



Just some things to think about…. Don’t let your little head get in the way of the big head doing the thinking

Yeah! It's manipulation. You can't mildly go behind someone's back. It's a you do or you don't situation. If she's pursuing this on her own, count your blessings and stay out of the way. You can't seem to be able to let her work things out on her own. You're more likely to piss her off with your attitude. Let it play out and see where it goes. You can always be included later if she continues with it

Thanks for the responses.

I would say let it be and allow things to progress naturally. I understand the need and desire to push on the gas peddle a few times but sometimes just coasting will get you there as well, especially if you're going downhill. My .02

My wife and I met over 30 years ago. Pretty much up front I told her that one thing I can never do is to 'surprise' someone, nor to accept having that done to me. She whole-heartedly agreed, as a 'surprise' involves deception. I don't even wrap gifts.