Our Hotwives

I have posted on this site in the past, and have provided advice to couples and singles contemplating a move into the hotwife lifestyle, based on my own past experience as a hotwife (emphasis on past).

One of the issues that have struck me is the impact of different cultures on behaviour. It seems Europe - northern Europe at least - and north America share similar values, and most of the experiences posted come from these areas. There have been a few from the both the Far East and the Indian subcontinent, and I thought it might interest members to hear a tale about a married lady from the Far East. She has given me permission to tell it on condition of total anonymity - including her country of origin. This going to be a long article but I hope people will find it interesting.

I shall call her Annie, who is married to 'John'. Annie comes from a very conservative culture, and was a virgin when she married John. They met when he was on assignment to her country. Annie is very beautiful (she sent me a recent photo), long black shoulder length hair, pretty face and a nice figure. They were married in the uk and went on honeymoon to Spain. Her wedding night was very painful, and it didn't help that John was not very experienced either. It took Annie some time before she was able to relax and enjoy sex, even though there was not much foreplay and always in the missionary position. After a while, she found this didn't excite her and she rarely reached orgasm. Sadly, she didn't masturbate as, where she cam from, 'nice' girls just didn't. A long conversation with a friend - a nurse - led her to seek advice on how to improve her and her husband's sex life. Looking online, she discovered fantasy. At first, she rejected this, as she felt that thinking about someone else was a form of cheating. However, as her frustration grew, she decided she had to give it a try. The advice she had got suggested she and her husband try 'doggy', as she would then be free to imagine a different man behind her. John was apparently shocked, but wanting to please his wife, he agreed. For the first time ever, she had two successive orgasms, so they continued this practice.

One night, they went to a concert and saw a local band. Annie found the lead singer attractive, and later that night, she blurted out that she imagined it was him inside her rather than John. She thought he would be angry, but to her surprise, he became excited, and there was a round 2, which she greatly enjoyed.

They subsequently began a a conversation about who else she fancied, and he encouraged her to look at other men in a sexual way.

The firm she worked for (a healthcare professional) had few men, but a new recruit began to flirt with her - an experience she found she enjoyed. Of course, nothing could happen, but when she told John about it, he suggested she take it further. Thinking of it as just a bit of fun, she nonetheless changed her dress habits, wearing heels, and shorter skirts. One day, this colleague propositioned her. Shocked, she told John, who, much to her astonishment, suggested she take him up on it. Annie did not know what to do, but things changed when he cornered her in an alcove and put his hand up her dress. Annie found this very arousing.

He persuaded her to meet him outside work, and after a while they began a affair. He was a very good lover, she said, and she enjoyed sex with him enormously. She blossomed sexually, found she could enjoy multiple orgasms, and became experimental - different positions, watching herself in a mirror while they did it, masturbating while he watched, oral both ways, and finally anal (which she didn't much enjoy).

He introduced her to a friend, and between them, she was 'performing', as she saw it, very regularly. She was subsequently introduced to a couple who were into hotwifing, and had corresponded with me - which is who I came to meet Annie. Annie asked me for advice about having sex with this couple, especially about engaging with the wife ie did this make her a lesbian?

Unsurprisingly, this abandonment of her prior cultural values had an impact on her marriage, and although John had been enthusiastic about her first lover, it seemed things had gotten beyond his control. Annie and John had a major bust up, but she refused to stop having fun. They were reconciled to an extend, and are still married, but their sex life has largely petered out.

I asked Annie how she reconciled her new lifestyle with how she had been brought up. She said she now realised she had always been an intensely sexual person, but that it had always been repressed. She thought a lot of girls where she came from would love to have the same experiences as herself, but most would never get the chance.

Last I heard from Annie, she had added both another man and also a married woman to her repertoire, and says she is very happy.
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Hi LQ. Thanks for sharing this. I think it is so sad that many/most women feel they need to be cautious about how they express their sexuality for fear of breaching cultural expectations of how a “nice girl” needs to behave. This forum has so many inspiring examples of women who have been able to get past these barriers - often through the support and encouragement of their loving partners. What a shame that the husband in this case has struggled with where his wife has reached and I truly hope he manages to catch up with her and enjoy the freedom.

You seem to also say you an ex-hotwife? Do you mind me asking what made you want to stop?

Interesting thread but unless people from all over the World contribute we won't know first hand. All I can say is we come from a very traditional and cultural country n South East Asia and with exposure and need to keep the excitement level between couples going strong cultural upbringing does not matter as much as it used it. I can see frequently women who may have grown up in traditional close cultures and with minimum exposure to sex while growing up get into the lifestyle if they end up married to a guy who wants to try the lifestyle and give the freedom and reassurance to the wife.

IMO cultural lines currently do not have a significant impact as they would say 40-30 or ever 20 years ago.

Really loved your writing and how you narrated the entire story

Replying to woodscrew - why I stopped is complicated but I'll try to summarise. My first (introduced by my husband) was lovely, but after we'd been seeing each other for about a year, he told me he had a girlfriend but wanted to keep seeing me. I told him I only would if he confided in his gf and she was ok with it. He didn't so we stopped. I then met another guy who was a bit rougher - which I liked - but he brought in a friend and they used me front and back for a whole weekend, with no chance for me to stop or take a break. It was too much, so I decided to take a break. What happened while on a break was I met a woman who was happy to join in a menage - me, her and me, her and my husband, which is lovely (especially as she occasionally brings a girlfriend) so I guess why I stopped was I discovered my bi side!

You write about Northern Europe. Although Northern Europe certainly has the reputation of being a rather permissive region, I wouldn't speak of a North-South aspect in Europe so much as West-East when it comes to culture. This is due to the political development in Europe in the last century.

I found your question very interesting. In the society in which I live, the focus is very much on the Western world view. I know far too little about other cultures when it comes to sexuality. I would like to read more about it here. Experiences from others.

A long time ago, I read a book about a tribe that lived in the Amazon region and had little contact with the outside world. Two-person marriages are just as common among this tribe as they are here in the western world. However, it is completely normal in the community for the woman to disappear into the forest with someone else for a few days if she feels like it. When they come back, it would be decided if she joins her husband again or not.

The Inuit were said to offer their wives for sex to foreign men travelling through. However, the reason for this was obviously that gene exchange was necessary in the small communities. I don't know if this story is really true, but somehow it has stuck. In any case, it shows a strictly patriarchal world view in which the wife is seen as property.

I've seen a few posts here about Muslim wives. It seems Western men are intrigued when a Muslim wife takes the leap into being a hotwife, because she is coming from a very conservative society (in most Muslim countries). It adds to the "forbidden fruit" aspect.