Our Hotwives

It's not a bad idea for sexual health reasons to just put it out there. "I have sex with other people" can be enough. Let people make their own decisions from that side about what they are willing to participate with.

namitha157 wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 20, 2024 2:32 pm

Maintaining two secret relationships is exhausting emotionally...

Hi Namitha..

In your case it isn't really "two secret relationships".
From your other thread we know that the new fling knows that you have a steady BF.
So it's actually only ONE secret relationship. Right?
+ good sex with a new fling is not the same as two committed relationships.
Here people are talking more about two regular boy friends + 1 husband.
Your scene is far simpler.

Back in the late '70s when we were young and dumb, we always fucked bareback, and never thought about the risks. (Effective birth control made concern for pregnancy basically none existent.). My girlfriend, who grew to be sexually inexperienced to being promiscuous, developed a "boyfriend-like" relationship with another man, in addition to me being her primary boyfriend. She also had an on-going sexual relationship with a man from another city, who would occasionally visit. He was more of a fuckbuddy. Over time, she ended up having three-ways with both men, and a threeway with each of them and me. I did get to watch her in three-ways with both the men, as well as one-on-ones with each of them. I think she had a bit of an exhibitionist streak and enjoyed being watched.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 29, 2024 7:49 pm

namitha157 wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 20, 2024 2:32 pm

Maintaining two secret relationships is exhausting emotionally...

Hi Namitha..

In your case it isn't really "two secret relationships".
From your other thread we know that the new fling knows that you have a steady BF.
So it's actually only ONE secret relationship. Right?
+ good sex with a new fling is not the same as two committed relationships.
Here people are talking more about two regular boy friends + 1 husband.
Your scene is far simpler.

I told him before we dated. Its never come up and I haven't mentioned it since.

But i get what you mean.

namitha157 wrote: ↑

Sun Dec 01, 2024 9:41 pm

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 29, 2024 7:49 pm

namitha157 wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 20, 2024 2:32 pm

Maintaining two secret relationships is exhausting emotionally...

Hi Namitha..

In your case it isn't really "two secret relationships".
From your other thread we know that the new fling knows that you have a steady BF.
So it's actually only ONE secret relationship. Right?
+ good sex with a new fling is not the same as two committed relationships.
Here people are talking more about two regular boy friends + 1 husband.
Your scene is far simpler.

I told him before we dated. Its never come up and I haven't mentioned it since.

But i get what you mean.

It hasn't come up because it's inconvenient and embarrassing. What does one say? From his POV- he feels himself lucky to be able to have fun in a relationship where it wasn't expected.
He doesn't wanna rock the boat.

But it's advantageous for you to keep the topic on the radar. Gives you flexibility..

I'm not sure. Before I thought he was just interested in trying to have sex with me. Not it feels more like he is trying to replace my boyfriend. Or out of mind. I don't know.

Not sure how long I will keep this up with him.

Read him the riot act. Tell him straight how it is and what the rules are. A straight talk in time - saves nine!

Well he hasn't spoken/messaged me for the last 2 days after I brought up my bf after our date a few days ago.

Kind of wishing I didn't say anything...

namitha157 wrote: ↑

Thu Dec 05, 2024 12:34 pm

Well he hasn't spoken/messaged me for the last 2 days after I brought up my bf after our date a few days ago.

Kind of wishing I didn't say anything...

You did the right thing. Now the power has shifted back to you. If he plays, it will be on your terms. Otherwise it was becoming too risky for your future and mental health.