Our Hotwives

My wife's play partner asked her for a favor today.
To which she replied, "To drain your balls?"
To which he replied, "Experiencing some financial issues, and need some help. $$$"

They've seen each other over a handful of times this year. And the sex between them is outstanding.

My wife told him, she didn't feel it right and that she could not help him financially.
Has this happened to anyone? What was your experience? Did the fwb relationship continue after the request for $$?

Says something about a person in that situation that would ask the hotwife for money. What is says is not good. Ugh gross.

She absolutely made the right decision! He was out of line for even asking imo

ugcp wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2024 1:32 pm

Says something about a person in that situation that would ask the hotwife for money. What is says is not good. Ugh gross.

Haven't asked her how she feels since it just happened but from my stand point as a husband..feels disappointing..icky. Interesting that this topic never came up from all the Hotwifing articles I've read and podcasts I've listened

It depends.
A casual FB or occasional guy, no way.
A real FWB or a boyfriend, very likely Farmgirl would help. Circumstances, reasons, etc., it all matters.
As I said, it depends.

DonVito4u wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2024 1:10 pm

My wife told him, she didn't feel it right and that she could not help him financially.

So how did he react?

Red flag to us.

Cut all ties immediately

Wifewithothers wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2024 10:15 am

Cut all ties immediately

I couldnt agree more! Excellent advice!

I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Of course, it sounds extremely strange at first glance.

On the other hand, it is also an interesting aspect of this multi-faceted lifestyle. He, the (supposedly?) financially underprivileged not only takes the wife, but also her or your money. It happens more often that you let your lover get away with everything. We have also read here time and again that he can have everything. Sexually speaking. Money is also a fetish for certain people. Probably not even for a few people.

I have read here on the forum about a paid massage for the wife. Not much of a difference.

I also have read about letting the lover live in the house. For free, probably. Not much of a difference too.

In the end, it depends on the context in which the topic is addressed. Is he a poor student who needs some financial help, or does he want to take you for a fool and simply shows no respect? In your case, if the wife doesn't feel right, the answer ist clear.

ccklvr wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 17, 2024 5:57 am

I wouldn't be so quick to judge. Of course, it sounds extremely strange at first glance.

On the other hand, it is also an interesting aspect of this multi-faceted lifestyle. He, the (supposedly?) financially underprivileged not only takes the wife, but also her or your money. It happens more often that you let your lover get away with everything. We have also read here time and again that he can have everything. Sexually speaking. Money is also a fetish for certain people. Probably not even for a few people.

I have read here on the forum about a paid massage for the wife. Not much of a difference.

I also have read about letting the lover live in the house. For free, probably. Not much of a difference too.

In the end, it depends on the context in which the topic is addressed. Is he a poor student who needs some financial help, or does he want to take you for a fool and simply shows no respect? In your case, if the wife doesn't feel right, the answer ist clear.

trecital wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 16, 2024 2:36 am

DonVito4u wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 15, 2024 1:10 pm

My wife told him, she didn't feel it right and that she could not help him financially.

So how did he react?

He used a heart emoji on her reply... so I guess he understands?

She feels empathetic and sad for him.. and said she would have given him money if she didn't have me or the kids. In other words if she was single.

Cutting ties will be difficult... he's been apart of our lives for over a year.. he's also a big reason why she's opened up and continues exploring with me in the HW lifestyle.

No pressure either way on my end. We've talked and we're on the same page. We will not help him financially.

Though some of the luster and shine has taken a hit on their relationship... she said she would still fuck him.

No way, a guy shouldn’t even ask such a thing imo! She did the right thing. I don’t know if I’d ever see him again.

I would never give him any money.

But my wife and I will offer to pay the expenses there are with their meetings. Like hotel, transportation, food etc.

There's a difference between polite gestures, kink/power oriented actions involving money (for the exclusive purpose of pushing kink buttons), and outright lowlife mooching. The first 2 don't carry with them uncomfortable dynamics with regard to the man the couple is trusting with the wife's health, safety, and wellbeing. But the last one is obviously rife with red flags. I've read so many stories of women being taken advantage of (exploited) due to their nurturing, caregiving nature.

IMO giving any money will take you down a path that will not only end terribly, but be the absolute bumpiest of rides, AND leave you with less money for your family in the end. Its never a single request becauss the threshold for asking once is no different thank asking more times. Sometimes it is a LOT of money by the end, too (5 figures is common, even 6 sometimes). I'm not just speaking of outright scams, either. There is something about the psychology involved where an enabling cycle forms, and the money requests continue and increase in amounts. This happens in monogamous dating a lot more than people realize, because the women who were taken advantage of don't exactly like to broadcast it since they feel foolish.

It's said by many women that a good man is hard to find. I get that. And sometimes, when single, it can lead to them dating low quality guys that are really not deserving. But we here on this forum aren't in that situation. There should be no desperation here. When choosing secondary partners in non-monogamy, I think the scrutiny level can be increased and expectations set a bit higher. If I'm involved with a wife, it is my belief that she should be shown positive, desirable qualities. Confidence, power, self-sufficiency, passion, creativity, intrigue, intelligence. When you picture a man that exudes these qualities, does he also beg for money? The sharp contradiction is a warning, IMO. When things don't add up, you feel it in your gut.

kaskap79 wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 17, 2024 11:22 pm

I would never give him any money.

But my wife and I will offer to pay the expenses there are with their meetings. Like hotel, transportation, food etc.

Tenants at a young college guy apartment complained about my wife making to much noise when they were having sex. I happily paid for a hotel the next time they got together. But besides that, we would never give money to a guy that’s having sex with her. It sounds like the guy is a loser.

I have a personal rule I use for everyone. If I loan somebody money, I expect i'll never see it again. That kind of informs the decision right there. If I get it back, great. If they ask for help again, they don't get more until they pay back the first loan. Kind of keeps a brake on that kind of thing.

Apologize for the double post. I am getting considerable lag on the site today.