Psychology of getting your wife to call herself a slut

[rkbg]

It's been a while since my wife has played with another guy. Our schedule is so busy with kids and work and stuff. But we do roleplay and fantasize a lot during sex.

However during our lovemaking and roleplaying she is reluctant to refer herself as a slut. On the rare occasion she does, it really turns me on.

I was thinking as a sort of New Year's resolution, that I am going try and get her comfortable calling herself a slut while we have sex. In my head I feel like that might be a good way to subtley change her self perception slowly and get comfortable referring to herself as a slut.

Side note. We have been married for more than 15 years and she has been with 8 or 9 guys. *Wink* when she is hooks up with another guy, she is not a slut. She is just "helping" her male friend. *Wink*

I am not a psychologist, but I feel like she might hook up with more guys if she is comfortable being a "slut."

Does anyone have any experience getting their wife to refer herself as a slut? And does it help with their hotwifing experiences?

[Gearup]

Communication!!!! If it turns you on simply ask her to describe herself in those terms during your lovemaking sessions. Explain that it turns you on to have her say it and you would like her to be mindful of that.

My wife is similar. knows what I like to her but often doesn't say those things - such a prude. But If I tell her I want to hear her say things she obliges. shouldn't have to ask more than once but with my wife I do.

[rkbg]

Thank you so much for the advice! I don't know why I didn't think of that before.

I am excited! I am going to try it tonight!!

[SammySigns]

My wife was pretty leary about swallowing when we started. I told her how much it turns me on and now she swallows by the gallon

[tiedyeHotwife]

I would have hated being called a slut before we started the HW journey.
I now LOVE it. Super empowering.

Honestly not sure how I got to this point but it was a slow progression.
I guess it happened with my husband asking me to dress sexier - and me finally admitting that I liked the attention.

Also, the way my husband gets hot when I talk about sexual experiences when I was single.
His enjoyment of it helped me shed my own conflicted feelings about it. Once you remove the emotional disappoinments and just focus on the sexual part of it - it got hot for me too.

Husband also made a big (in a good way) about my body count.
He mentioned that mine was kinda high and that he thought it was sexy.
I looked it up and found that in my age bracket, women averaged between 4-6 partners before getting married.
Mine was 14.
I guess that did it. I was a bit of a slut and held onto shame in that it wasn't only about sexual enjoyment back then but also emotional needs (that went unfulfilled).
Just focusing on my 'slutty" past and how it would make my husband crazy hot for me - I started to embrace my inner slut.

On a lark, while my husband was out of town for several weeks - I set up a chaterbate account - sent him a link and made him watch his slutty wife show off for a LOT of men. Crazy hot for both of us.
I LOVED IT.
So I'm a slut. I perform on chaterbate just for the rush. I love to make other men come for me either inside me - or watching me on screen.

Amazing how big a journey it was to get here. Incredibly fun.

[Gearup]

I would have hated being called a slut before we started the HW journey.
I now LOVE it. Super empowering.

Honestly not sure how I got to this point but it was a slow progression.
I guess it happened with my husband asking me to dress sexier - and me finally admitting that I liked the attention.

Also, the way my husband gets hot when I talk about sexual experiences when I was single.
His enjoyment of it helped me shed my own conflicted feelings about it. Once you remove the emotional disappoinments and just focus on the sexual part of it - it got hot for me too.

Husband also made a big (in a good way) about my body count.
He mentioned that mine was kinda high and that he thought it was sexy.
I looked it up and found that in my age bracket, women averaged between 4-6 partners before getting married.
Mine was 14.
I guess that did it. I was a bit of a slut and held onto shame in that it wasn't only about sexual enjoyment back then but also emotional needs (that went unfulfilled).
Just focusing on my 'slutty" past and how it would make my husband crazy hot for me - I started to embrace my inner slut.

On a lark, while my husband was out of town for several weeks - I set up a chaterbate account - sent him a link and made him watch his slutty wife show off for a LOT of men. Crazy hot for both of us.
I LOVED IT.
So I'm a slut. I perform on chaterbate just for the rush. I love to make other men come for me either inside me - or watching me on screen.

Amazing how big a journey it was to get here. Incredibly fun.

lucky husband! this is hot!!!

if you don't mind what is your chaterbate name? fully understand if you decline to say but would love to support the cause!

[turbulentdreams]

So here's a slightly alternate view that might or might not be helpful in your context. If the word "slut" has a lot of baggage and context for her (no surprise there) then an alternate word might work wonders, a word that means the same thing (to you) but sounds better (to her).

One of the best is very common: hotwife. I think there's still a transition from a woman who has engaged in some swinging/hotwife adventures that she compartmentalizes versus a woman who embraces the term as a self-identifier.

You might also try cougar - it implies a woman who is going after younger guys so that might or might not apply to you but the main thing is that it's a very empowering word. Another is "Vixen" in the pair "Stag/Vixen" - good in case she's keen to not humiliate you. If some form of humiliation (even quite mild) is part of the dynamic you're looking for then "cuckoldress" might serve you well.

You might examine what the issue is with the word "slut" for her. She's been with 8 or 9 guys (I love that you aren't sure which haha) which she views as helping a male friend. It sounds like the idea she wants to defend in her mind is that she has standards. A "slut" may mean "will fuck anyone" and that might make her sound non-selective and (perhaps) less able to pick and choose. Whereas some of the other words might do the trick for you and her both.

[Lookingforadventure]

There is a lot of shame in our society for women around sex. The word "slut" is intended as derogatory and might imply disrespect, judgement, and devaluing to your wife. It does and did to me.

I am NOT into humiliation play at all. It is a turn on when I feel adored and cherished, not when I feel disrespected or used. As a result, it took a long time for me to embrace the word "slut".

I play with a Dom and he and I negotiated the term "wench" when we play together. Because we discussed it, it feels like a term of endearment.

Over time, I've also allowed my husband, and that Dom to use "slut". They use it sparingly, and when they say it, it is a turn on because i know they respect me, and they are impressed and proud of my sexuality. But if some stranger calked me a slut, I'd be really angry.

So I'd talk about it with your wife, but also recognize that this might not be her thing. Or it might take time.

[surry]

My wife is a church lady. If a man comes on to her she is not committing a sin if the guy or woman wants to have sex with her. She gets turned on that someone would want to have sex with her. So she will not call her self a slut because that would mean she's a sinner.

[Parsifal]

The semantic association of "slut" and "sin" is going to be an obstacle for a lot of church ladies. Yet the unconconscious dynamic is operative in fueling the eroticism felt by these self same church ladies who indulge in such slutty activity. What I find is that my own beloved walks a fine line between the sacred and profane. It blows with the wind, never fully settles. But it's the dichotomy of angel speaking in one ear and devil in the other that is really source of so much of the energy that comes from hotwifing. Feeling "naughty" doesn't exist in a vacuum but only in relation to chaste monogamy as a standard of good. So bottom line is, you may choose for good psychological reasons to cultivate your wife's propensity to embrace her sluthood only when cornered by the heat of passion and otherwise allow her refuge from sinfulness when the angel speaking into the other ear regains her attention. Remember, it's the clash of hot, wet air with the edge of the cold front that produces that bolt of lightning. 🌩 The plunge she takes out of character is what does it for her.

[dnic]

The semantic association of "slut" and "sin" is going to br an obstacle for a lot of church ladies. Yet the unconconscious dynamic is operative in fueling the eroticism felt by these self same church ladies who indulge in such slutty activity. What I find is that my own beloved walks a fine line between the sacred and profane. It blows with the wind, never fully settles. But it's the dichotomy of angel speaking in one ear and devil in the other that is really source of so much of the energy that comes from hotwifing. Feeling "naughty" doesn't exist in a vacuum but only in relation to chaste monogamy as a standard of good. So bottom line is, you may choose for good psychological reasons to cultivate your wife's propensity to embrace her sluthood only when cornered by the heat of passion and otherwise allow her refuge from sinfulness when the angel speaking into the other ear regains her attention. Remember, it's the clash of hot, wet air with the edge of the cold front that produces the lightning. 🌩 The plunge she takes out of character is what does it for her.

Great husband description of the hotwife mindset that is hard to put into words!

[rkbg]

thank you for all the nuanced and detailed replies.

I actually just came back from a two week business trip from abroard. During this time, I naturally became quite horny (we usually have sex 2 or 3 times a week). During this time, I had a lot of time at night to think about many things, one of which was what made our sex life good.

During the last 2 or 3 years, our sex life has quality has been amazing. Mostly due to our roleplaying and fantasizing of her doing hotwife things. On a side note, I know that finding another guy for my wife in the near future will be very challenging due to both of us working and having two young kids.

So I have really started to enjoy our roleplaying and not expecting to find a fuck buddy for her. If she happens to find one by chance, then thats great. If not, I have no worries.

What I did think about during my business trip, was what specific things my wife would say or roleplay that would really turn me on and make my average dick hard.

After much contemplation I realized a few things which would really rev me up.

1. How much she likes big dicks and what she would do to them and how they make her feel.

2. Calling herself a slut.

3. Specifically, mention me watching her doing naughty things with other guys.

All three of these things, she would specifically talk about once in a while during our roleplaying. So I decided this year I would try to find ways to make her talk about these more.

By the way, when she does talk about these things, it makes her horny also. I guess just some part of her makes her shy about saying those things.

I came back yesterday, and we probably had one of the best sex sessions ever. We played and fucked almost 3 hours! A rare feat for us.

Thanks to the advice from you guys, I took it slow. During foreplay I was gently rubbing her pussy and I told her that it turns me on when she says she likes big dicks and we continued our foreplay. I guess she got the hint. While we were playing and fucking, she started talking about how much she likes big dicks. More than she ever did before, but still not enough to my satisfaction!

However, I still wanted to try and see what she says about being a slut. So I used my next plan in my playbook. Her last boyfriend before we got married had a thick 8 inch dick. She told me many stories about their escapdes and the things he used to do to her. So while we were fucking I changed the subject slightly, keeping with the theme of big dicks, and said to her that after we got married she became my sweet innocent wife but she was a slut for his big dick and that I loved that about her.

During our love making she did mention about being a slut two times. Score! She rarely says that about her self. But something even better happened after that!

Before we got married, we had a long distance relationship for about four and half years. In the last 15+ years of our marriage she somehow alluded to the fact that she stopped seeing her ex when she started talking. And I totally believed her. Last night I found out that that she was actually still seeing him on a regular basis until the week before we got married! I thought my dick would explode.

I asked her if I ever called her during her sex. She said that I did many times, she just didnt answer. She continued to tell me that many times I would call her and catch her after she was on the way home from fucking. Sometimes I would catch her on the phone on the way to see him. I wished that she would have told me then! I would have loved talking to her while she was driving to see him or after she went home with a sore pussy. Regardless, this revelation was mind blowing for me.

I feel like I made really good headway and I will continue to call her a slut for her ex's big dick. She is not a loose wonton slut, just a slut for her ex's big dick. Then after a few weeks, I plan to expand that defintion of slut and see how far I can take it. Thank you all so much for pointing me in this direction!

[chard]

My wife fucked dozens of men during her most promiscuous years so she definitely qualifies to be called a slut, but, heaven help me if I ever called her a slut. She sees it as a derogatory term.

[Cdncuck]

I hadn't thought much about her calling herself a slut. The topic had never been discussed between us. She started fucking other guys when we were dating. After the first time she fucked another guy she said, "I suppose you think I'm a slut now." I told her having had sex with two guys hardly made her a slut.

She informed me she thought she was a slut. She likes the name. To her it's the same as a guy is called a stud. She used it a lot to describe herself. I was extremely reluctant to call her a slut thinking it was disrespectful. She said it made her powerful.

Eventually I got to where I could call her a slut but it took effort.

[Her number1]

I never called my wife a slut until she embraced the idea and referred to herself as such. She uses it readily about herself and is proud of the word as she uses it.
Both I and Allen use it for her and she revels in it, but it isn't a word she would allow others to use with her. She knows we use it with respect and love towards her.
She likes calling herself "whore" just as well, though she doesn't use it in the normal meaning.

[DCaftermath]

My wife wouldn’t like being called a slut, I guess it has a bad ring to it. I do tell her that she loves cock and she doesn’t seem to mind that. I believe she truly does love cock and I’m pretty happy with that.

[BrunetteLover]

Hooker, whore, provider, escort, prostitute... we have enough words, thanks.

[D+D]

My wife has been with a lot of men, Many one night stands with complete strangers, almost always fucks on the first date, especially enjoys fucking other women’s husbands, has been fingered and exposed in public places like bars and restaurants, and enjoys kinky shit. The term slut she will agree fits her well.

[To See Her]

The night I asked my wife if she wanted to be a cumslut and she replied yes right away was one of the hottest nights ever. Many fun nights telling her what that would entail—-Letting multiple men cum in and on her; Showing me how she loved fucking other cock and how she loved having me watching her do it; Showing me she loves having me cum all over her while she’s being fucked.

Hope your wife can see how much it excites you and then realize how much it excites her to tell you she’s a slut!

[To See Her]

The night I asked my wife if she wanted to be a cumslut and she replied yes right away was one of the hottest nights ever. Many fun nights telling her what that would entail—-Letting multiple men cum in and on her; Showing me how she loved fucking other cock and how she loved having me watching her do it; Showing me she loves having me cum all over her while she’s being fucked.

Hope your wife can see how much it excites you and then realize how much it excites her to tell you she’s a slut!

[To See Her]

The night I asked my wife if she wanted to be a cumslut and she replied yes right away was one of the hottest nights ever. Many fun nights telling her what that would entail—-Letting multiple men cum in and on her; Showing me how she loved fucking other cock and how she loved having me watching her do it; Showing me she loves having me cum all over her while she’s being fucked.

Hope your wife can see how much it excites you and then realize how much it excites her to tell you she’s a slut!

[To See Her]

The night I asked my wife if she wanted to be a cumslut and she replied yes right away was one of the hottest nights ever. Many fun nights telling her what that would entail—-Letting multiple men cum in and on her; Showing me how she loved fucking other cock and how she loved having me watching her do it; Showing me she loves having me cum all over her while she’s being fucked.

Hope your wife can see how much it excites you and then realize how much it excites her to tell you she’s a slut!