Had these questions on my mind.

[Treyl]

Hello all,

I have been having these fantasies for quite some time. I am about 4.5 when erect and assume it’s because size I have had these thoughts. When I had brought up this fantasy to my wife she was enraged and it was a no. Attempts to bring it back up were met with same outcome. So I had a few questions for folks who had similar situations;

1. For those whose wives were also very against this fantasy of yours, how did she eventually come along and entertain it? How long did it take from when you initially brought it up?


2. When she had her first experience, how different was she with the guy compared to with you? I assume the guy had a bigger one, did that have a noticeable difference on her experience? Did she seem like a whole different person when met with a bigger sized member?


3. How has your wife changed since the first time it occurred and the immediate months following that, her overall mood and confidence etc?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Treyl.

[Parsifal]

With complete respect for your predicament, I would suggest starting off exploring your wife's aversion to the idea. Her being "very against" it really gives me no insight. From the beginning, my wife initially found the fantasy of it amusing and soon after titillating at times, yet it still took years for her to feel safe enough with me to act it out. If your wife's aversion is deeply existential, my situation wasn't at all similar to yours, so how-to advice from me won't carry over to your situation or be of much use, although it could be entertaining.

[sandy691196]

If wife is very against and angry at the very suggestion of sex with another man then one needs to first address that on the relationship level.

Most partners react in milder ways if they are against it. Some think it's undoable.. Some want to limit it to fantasy. Some talk about it as an odd, strange thing and want to know what brought it up.

But anger shows some deeper level of aversion. That might reflect on the relationship dynamics. And your repeated attempts at bringing it up may have further impacted those dynamics.

[snoogaloo82]

You might want to try having a play date with her dildo. You be in charge of the dildo like you were another guy and saying things that you wouldn't normally say. That would be a great start to see how it goes. Also mention that you aren't seeking permission. In fact it's just the opposite. You want to give her the freedom to explore with no repercussions at all. That this is all about pleasing her and no one else. Of course you'll get pleasure out of it from possibly watching, but if she doesn't want you to watch then that's her decision.

[trecital]

Before you start asking questions here, I strongly suggest that you have calm conversations with your wife, explaining to her why you have these fantasies etc.

Beware of advice given here. There are a lot of fantasists present. Don't believe everything you read.

[D+D]

My wife said no and laughed it off. I became enamored with the idea reading penthouse magazines back in the 80s and 90s. My wife said the stories were made up and such things don’t happen. I had many many jerk off sessions fantasizing about someone fucking my wife. As time went by I started asking her what would she do if another man was with us while we were making love.This really turned her on, but she still said no to meeting someone. She accused me of wanting to have an excuse to sleep with other women then reason for divorce. So it rocked on, for years. I started reading this forum in 2009 but I didn’t register until 2011. I read and read learning from others who were wannabes like me as well as those who were in the lifestyle. I realized many mistakes and many successes as well as a number of broken marriages as a result of the lifestyle. I became a member of the forum in 2011 so I could start communicating and asking questions. I started suggesting my wife change her hairstyle, then her apparel, then her makeup and then I started telling her how good she looked and pointing out that men were noticing her. Her friends began to comment about how young she looked. She was on a business trip with me on one occasion and I pulled up this site on my phone and ask her to read a certain thread as we were riding. That night we had wild sex but she still insisted that she was too old and no one would want her. She was 60. I convinced her to put her profile on a dating site slong with her picture and she got over 100 responses. She is 71 now and still going. After 11 years She has been intimate with over 60 men. Some long term affairs and many one nighters at hotel bars and sex clubs. I owe it all to people from this site and the threads that I read. There are many more real people here than bullshitters. As far as attitude and confidence, she is like a different woman. It has shown up in her professional life as well as her personal life. We’ve many many experiences and situations. I have evolved from a stag situation to a cuckold. This has all happened over a period of over 30 years. Patience and determination and persistence.

[BT2]

My wife and I hadn't even thought about her being a hotwife, or me being an fb, therefore it was never discussed. If it was discussed we probably BOTH would have been against it. But, we were younger then and still sexually experimenting, telling sexual stories of past exploits (second marriage for us both), sharing fantasies, reading Penthouse letters (that dates us.eh?), etc. We at various times did sensuous things like renting a porn video, going to a nude beach, went to a strip club, went to a movie with her wearing a skirt but no underwear, etc. We thought at one time it would be fun for her to have a bodyrub while I watched (bodyrub, NOT a legitimate massage). Our city had a number of bodyrub parlors, but at that time none took women clients. One receptionist suggested a local classified ads. We tried it and found a guy who gave bodyrubs to women. We thought it would be fun, so we made a date.

We were fortunate that the guy was friendly, considerate of her limits, and respectful. Remember, it was only to be a bodyrub. The guy left the room while my wife got undressed, and covered herself with a large towel while she lay on her front. He was dressed. The bodyrub (sensuous massage) started out "normally" enough, but sometime after she had turned over onto her back the towel had disappeared. She was full frontal naked in front of him, and she didn't appear to mind. He had a bulge in his pants, and eventually she was tugging at his clothes to take them off, all without prompting from me. He got closer and closer to her lady parts and she didn't demure. To make a long story short, that visit ended in her having a happy ending, the second visit included mutual oral, and the third visit she became a hotwife.

It is very, very difficult for many women to go straight from monogamy to being a hotwife simply by being asked (pestered, begged). Maybe she would be willing to try some sensuous activities for you, and you quit trying to talk her into fucking some guy. At least, starting with sensuous activities worked for us. Oh, and quit worrying about penis size. Most wives don't have that worry.

[Her number1]

Hello all,

I have been having these fantasies for quite some time. I am about 4.5 when erect and assume it’s because size I have had these thoughts. When I had brought up this fantasy to my wife she was enraged and it was a no. Attempts to bring it back up were met with same outcome. So I had a few questions for folks who had similar situations;

1. For those whose wives were also very against this fantasy of yours, how did she eventually come along and entertain it? How long did it take from when you initially brought it up? To me, her being "enraged" speaks ill of the intimacy and communication in your marriage. I would work on that first. A couple should be able to voice just about anything without one or the other becoming enraged or judgmental. If you can't tell each other about kinks, fantasies, or money, you have a problem.


2. When she had her first experience, how different was she with the guy compared to with you? I assume the guy had a bigger one, did that have a noticeable difference on her experience? Did she seem like a whole different person when met with a bigger sized member?
Size, within it's normal range, doesn't really have an effect on Farmgirl. It's much more about her attraction to him, and attraction is only a small part looks.

3. How has your wife changed since the first time it occurred and the immediate months following that, her overall mood and confidence etc?

She is happier being able to be her real self, and is very confident.

[JR1966]

Where does one find a “sensuous” massage that’s legal? I like the idea of suggesting that to my wife who is totally against the idea but I really do believe that down deep she may be curious.

[BT2]

I looked up the profile on JR1966 to see what city/state/province he resided in so I could investigate on the internet and answer him, but alas, nothing stated. So I looked up in my own city for an example of what was listed. I found entries under "bodyrubs" and also under "tantric massages". The latter may be your best bet. Be prepared to pay for an hour or so - if a paid person you can be more assured your wife's limits will be respected. (After all, it may be worth a couple of hundred bucks to have a chance of your fantasy becoming a reality.)

Based strictly on my own experiences, I would suggest that you search out one or more likely prospects, and phone him/them. Ask up front if he/they provide special services. If you like the answers, let him/them know that this is your wife's first experience, that you want it to be sensuous but that your wife's limits must be respected, and that you may be present (you, and/or your wife may have a preference on this point.) Above all, don't try to con your wife into believing this is a normal, professional massage (no legitimate masseur will risk his employment nor license to practice by inappropriately "touching" a woman), assure her that you have received assurances that her limits will be respected. let her know that you will/will not be present, but, most of all, tell her that as far as you are concerned she is to enjoy the experience with as much or as little as she wishes - it is up to her. DON'T expect intercourse on the first visit - but you may expect some sexual touching.

Good Luck. If you try it, let us know what happened.