Our Hotwives

Married for 30 years. Like many of you, my all time favorite fantasy is to watch my wife with another man. Flirting, dancing, kissing, getting massaged or getting fucked, anything. I have recently talked to her about it but she is not open to the idea because she said she would have to have feelings for someone to let them touch her and that would ruin our relationship.
For those of you that have the fantasy but know it just won’t ever happen, how do you satisfy the urge?

You get on here and find stories from couples who do. And enjoy their stories/adventures! If she’s like my wife that’s as close you are gonna get. I’ve had this fantasy for 20 plus years, I don’t think it goes away, just part of what makes you you. Unless she’s will to play around with your fantasies, maybe tell you stories from her past, you live it through others.

I believe it is pretty hard for a wife to go from strict monogamy to being a hotwife in one move. Or simply because she is asked (begged).

We never thought of her becoming a hotwife. In fact, we had never heard of the word. We used to do sensual activities as turn-ons, such as her wearing a skirt but no panties, watching a porn' video, outdoor nakedness, etc. Once we decided that she would go for a sensuous massage. The first massage ended in her having a happy ending, initiated by her. The third massage ended in intercourse, with me watching.

My wife did eventually come around to hotwifing, but no until after I spent several years as a wannabe. So to answer your question, I'll need to write without the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. Because several of the years I experienced the wannabe frustrations, I had little expectation of her making that transition, at least until close to the end, and then it happened fast as it came into focus as something she wanted to experience in the world of facts rather than fantasy.

From your perspective as a wannabe, I would say don't stop wanting her to evolve. Don't give up hope. Just realize the fantasy is better than suppressing it.

If you maintain hope, you can spin your hope as a possibility. My wife and I approached the fantasy of her hotwifing that way. My wife learned to like the fantasies as part of our foreplay and gradually she indulged me by approaching our fantasies as possibilities. Not even so far as probabilities.

Even if it stays in that realm, you and your wife will draw a lot of mutual energy from her having possibilities with other men.

I think you should also anticipate that even if your wife does eventually take up hotwifing, it will remain mostly, unless she lets you participate, a fantasy. I fantasize about my hotwife in reality. She tells me what she does in artful detail. Only rarely do I watch her in the same physical space.

Pillow talk!
I am very fortunate…. Was going to throw out old vhs tape I found after a move but asked my wife about it first…. Turned out to be sex tape of her with her ex! That was a wonderful game changer in so many ways( see pillow talk in stag vixen… the talk about past
lovers has been amazing!
As well … another sex tape with an ex turned up and we made a new video recently with her ex….. all as a result of finding the first tape !
Love it….. very fortunate!

Take her somewhere. Forget the talk, if she rejects what you are saying, you will just come off like a perv to her. Do your research and casually 'stumble into' a venue which has dancing, music, drinks, and MEN. Let her get acclimated.

If she 'casually' asks to go back there or to a similar place, you have a hit.

Also, remember that very hot moments are often one-and-done... savor whatever happens in the moment. The next time you go back it may be a dud.

If my wife is in the mood we will dirty talk and role play hotwife stuff. The rest of the time it's me reading this website and looking at porn with a heavy dirty talk element. I don't know if my wife will ever want to be a hotwife, but I can always imagine.

I would have freaked out if my husband took my to a bar with the intention of having men be interested in me.
Too much. Too soon.

What worked was him focusing on the very few purely sexual moments in my history and him being turned on by them.
Most women surpress those moments when our inner sluts got loose.
Sexual interactions (even just flirting) with men were attached to the lonely heartache of being single and wanting to be loved.
For many of us - dressing up and going out, while we pretend its super fun to have a "girls night", wasn't fun at all deep inside.
Combine that with the men we slept with hoping for a relationship, only to find out ............

Find something in her sexual history that you find sexy but she may not see it that way. Let her know how hot it is to you, just picturing her being sexy.

STORIES - ask her if you can spice up the love life by reading sexy stories - together and separately.
Just to read, and see if anything sparks that she would like to try.
Keep it simple.
A blindfold and expert level oral sex for 20 minutes might just open the doors for you.

Make her feel like she is your everything -
The other thing that really helped me to walk this path was how my husband always made it clear that he couldn't and didn't have fantasies about other women. Most men do, but he liked the completeness of it all being just about me.
So while other men look at sexy women and think "Yum" - all he thinks is "I want to see my wife in that outfit".

"for that kind of loyalty and love - could I ask you to wear something sexy for me that caught my and I want to see you in"???
Hard to say no to that.

So put it all together.
Shes the only women you have sexual thoughts about.
You're turned on by those few slutty moments in her past.
Read stories and share thoughts and desires. (Keep your motor in low gear!! She's not there yet).
Show her a sexy outfit you'd like to see her in, and take her out in it. (Focus on her, not other men).
Take her home and give her the most generous sex of your marriage.

Rinse - repeat.

It only took a couple times before I was wearing cleavagy leather dresses - and dying to get home for him to fuck me.
Pavlov was a smart man.

And now you are on the path.
You are making it OK to be sexy, dress slutty, desire sexual pleasure stoked by dressing sexy - and feeling safe that the next day, the world was perfectly safe and normal.

At the right moment - you can tell her that those rare slutty moments in her past turn you on and you can't stop picturing what that man did to her body - its soooo hot.
and the way men were looking at her the last time you dressed her up, took her out, and pleased her into oblivan - just the lust they had for her made you crazy.
Makes you think about the first time you fucked her, knowing another man had fucked her at somepoint before, makes you crazy.
That you lust for the sexy women she was and the way SEXIER women she is now.

Somewhere in the stories, there will be something that will connect with her inner slut. You'll see it. and now she is comfortable enough to admit it to herself.

We started pillow talk. Telling fantasies calling each other different names. Then decided to dip the toe. Ran a personal ad. Laid it out there what we wanted. Went thru a few til we found one hubby was ok with. It took multiple meetings for me to warm up. We still use personals.