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How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Fri May 16, 2025 7:57 am
by Chuck_pgh
My wife is ok with having a man pursuing her and letting things go where they go. My wife is in VERY good shape, dresses well, and looks hot.

She has to have an interest in the man and he has to be able to hold a conversation with her. This has been a big challenge!!

We have an acquaintance who is single and in our age category that is a possibility. He taught us a hobby but we are no longer his customer. He has, what I interpret anyway, shown an interest in my wife and has told me I am lucky to have her. He has also asked my wife for dating advice so we know he is on the prowl. Everybody is 50+ so everyone has life experience.

This weekend I will be inviting this man to have dinner with us at our home. I want to let him know that the opportunity with my wife is available to him. I will have to do the talking.

How do I raise the subject? I am considering getting him talking about his dating life and let him know I am ok with sharing.

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Fri May 16, 2025 8:26 am
by Tank Turner
How many wives are wondering how to initiate conversations with their husbands about opening their sexuality to include men other than their husbands?

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Sat May 17, 2025 5:18 am
by Wantsomefunto
Maybe start by getting your wife to dress a bit sexy so that her nice body is shown off a bit? Then if he says anything complimentary tell him he should see her is some of her other hot outfits. At that point you could ask if she would model something that is even more revealing and I think he will get the idea. Or you could get in the situation were there is some music on and tell him how your wife likes to dance but you don’t and ask if he would dance with her. If he does then make an excuse to leave the room, bathroom run?

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Sat May 17, 2025 6:28 pm
by Her number1
Chuck_pgh wrote:
Fri May 16, 2025 7:57 am
My wife is ok with having a man pursuing her and letting things go where they go. My wife is in VERY good shape, dresses well, and looks hot.

She has to have an interest in the man and he has to be able to hold a conversation with her. This has been a big challenge!!

We have an acquaintance who is single and in our age category that is a possibility. He taught us a hobby but we are no longer his customer. He has, what I interpret anyway, shown an interest in my wife and has told me I am lucky to have her. He has also asked my wife for dating advice so we know he is on the prowl. Everybody is 50+ so everyone has life experience.

This weekend I will be inviting this man to have dinner with us at our home. I want to let him know that the opportunity with my wife is available to him. I will have to do the talking.

How do I raise the subject? I am considering getting him talking about his dating life and let him know I am ok with sharing.
With him already having asked your wife for dating advice, that makes it easy to follow up on his "dating" with an easy segue to him seeing her.

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Sun May 18, 2025 1:42 am
by luvwives999
Chuck_pgh wrote:
Fri May 16, 2025 7:57 am
My wife is ok with having a man pursuing her and letting things go where they go. My wife is in VERY good shape, dresses well, and looks hot.

She has to have an interest in the man and he has to be able to hold a conversation with her. This has been a big challenge!!

We have an acquaintance who is single and in our age category that is a possibility. He taught us a hobby but we are no longer his customer. He has, what I interpret anyway, shown an interest in my wife and has told me I am lucky to have her. He has also asked my wife for dating advice so we know he is on the prowl. Everybody is 50+ so everyone has life experience.

This weekend I will be inviting this man to have dinner with us at our home. I want to let him know that the opportunity with my wife is available to him. I will have to do the talking.

How do I raise the subject? I am considering getting him talking about his dating life and let him know I am ok with sharing.
I kind of had this situation once, and did not take advantage of it. Here is what I wish I did, and what might work for you. The conversation could go like this: I am going to ask you a weird question, there is no right or wrong answer, and no matter how you answer I will not hold it against you. Have you ever thought about sleeping with me wife? If he says she's attractive of course it has crossed my mind, you tell him there is a chance after dinner, let's see what happens. If he says, I could never sleep with a married woman, you have your answer.

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Sun May 18, 2025 3:54 pm
by 54321
With him already having asked your wife for dating advice, that makes it easy to follow up on his "dating" with an easy segue to him seeing her.
The best suggestion IMO.

Bring it up again. When he relates his woes, she can say, "Well I'd go on a date with you."

54321

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Sun May 18, 2025 6:13 pm
by Bryce 69
Tell him your swingers and you wife thinks he is sexy

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Tue May 20, 2025 6:40 am
by ferrisandrews
That's exciting! I'm not sure if by "this weekend" you meant the day after you posted this or the following weekend but I'd love to hear how it went!

Sharing that same age range, I'd guess he probably IS asking for some sort of permission or at least testing the waters to find out how tolerant you are of other men admiring her.

We've found that if we're talking to a new "bull" who probably hasn't tried being with a wife before, then phrase the conversation like it's new to you two too. This puts you both on an even playing field and may make things less intimidating for him.

You can beat around the bush, but at some point you'll have to bring up that she is interested in him. Whether that's you or her will have to be something you decide for yourself. After you bring it up, suggest a place they can go visit together, art gallery, play, whatever. Once they begin sharing time with each other things will probably unfold organically.

Good luck!

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Tue May 20, 2025 7:55 am
by Chuck_pgh
luvwives999 wrote:
Sun May 18, 2025 1:42 am
I am going to ask you a weird question, there is no right or wrong answer, and no matter how you answer I will not hold it against you. Have you ever thought about sleeping with my wife? If he says she's attractive of course it has crossed my mind, you tell him there is a chance after dinner, let's see what happens. If he says, I could never sleep with a married woman, you have your answer.
I like this answer the best. She will not initiate the conversation herself. However, if approached and the situation/conversation is right, she may accept the approach of another man. She knows she has my OK to do whatever she wants to do as long as I am informed.

I just need to let the guy know that it is OK to hit on her GENTLY. Perhaps with flirty text messages. He already has her number because of the common hobby. I will not be present if something does happen.

She needs to feel there is some mystery involved.

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Tue May 20, 2025 3:19 pm
by BT2
I believe those of us who have hotwives or have been an fb to a woman/women or have engaged in FMF or MFM threesomes, for a number of years come to believe it is normal. We enjoy recreational sex, and we think that if there is mutual attraction to a person/couple all there is to it is to make the opportunity available. Or ask a woman/man if they would like to .....? Or we simply make a move on him/her. We believe they will like it too. We also think that, while a woman may be "difficult", men are "easy".

We seem to forget that to many people, particularly friends, that the idea of having sex with other than your significant other is a negative. We don't think that even making the suggestion, or making "a move on them", or showing an interest can be rebuffed or can even cost a friendship.

I've read about it on this forum. And my (hot)wife and I can also speak from personal experience. Bad idea. As much as the idea appeals, best to stick with people who you know are into it.

Re: How to start the hotwife discussion with a potential

Posted: Mon May 26, 2025 11:37 am
by fraktastic
How did this go?