Our Hotwives

We are in our 40s married for 15yrs. Have the strongest urge to get my wife into the lifestyle. Made mistakes when newly married in trying to hurry things nd making her go to questionable club settings etc. which ended with her telling her folks but marriage was saved.now 13 yrs of sleeping in separate rooms later somehow our marriage is stronger than ever. We dont yell or fight, have good jobs, matured. parenting flawlessly.Catch is zero sex related communication. My trust was gone when she divulged bedroom talk. But twist is I know she is a naughty girl inside. Big exhibitionist. Has libido - seen her watch born. She has started wearing anklet again. Last time she wore was a HW anklet I had bought her. Marriage is secure. She is interested to respark sex life. Has started to workout and wear slightly revealing clothes. But I am still not sure if she knows what I am going to tell thu.. I hope its not a shock to her cos I am going to openly communicate my kinks with the therapist there. Any thoughts on the approach? Do u think my wife knows and is just pretending to be ignorant?she has read the insatiable wives and ethical slut books i bought her a decade ago so should be knowing enough? Can't wait for this to play out..

Great idea to utilize a therapist to establish open communication and hopefully rebuild trust between the two of you. I see no advantage to holding back any of your thoughts. Communication is the whole point. It will be interesting to hear about the process and how you feel about it.

Is she on board with the therapy? If she participates fully, you will undoubtedly learn a lot about each other. A fresh start on a more solid footing. The possibilities are endless. Sounds good to me.

Best of luck to you!

Best wishes in things working out the way you hope.

This whole theme could be a written up as a miniseries.

Thank you for the encouraging words. Definitely a multi decade dream on the line here.. thu likely is a exploratory call to see what therapist is a right fit.. its a collection of therapist s.
The website indicates sex positive therapy with expertise in kink etc. My wife would have no doubt read the website descriptions so I am hopeful. I hope to document our journey here. A mini series sounds like a good idea. My marriage has had enough ups and downs for a decades worth!

I want to tease other saucy angles/actions as a desperate wannabe stag/cuckold I have taken in finding the right bull for us if it comes to it!

putting down some of the DMs here as I dont have enough credits to DM freely on here -

It was running in my mind that there should be individual sessions before we go for it together. Will be suggesting that to the therapist.
I am trying to cement that mindset that this is not to convince the wife to do something but rather creating a deep communication channel to discuss our deepest desires. If thats established will be in a good place.
That said, I will be lying to myself like the last 15 yrs if I said I can live without these kinks in my life. My urge for the hotwifing/cuckolding kink is extremely strong unfortunately and unfortunately my sexual appetite is 100% removed from vanilla sex with her and I strongly suspect its the same for her, been this way since start of marriage. Well taking one step at a time here. I would love to get in touch with active experienced bulls in anticipation!

we have not had sex for over maybe 13 yrs now. separate rooms. She is either celibate or had an affair (very very low probability - she is an introvert when it comes to non-work interactions and only got her driving license and freedom of movement that way in the last 2 years. to be fair we are busy professionals and she is the best mother i know of and she is effectively perfect as a wife in all aspects other than sex.
I have been hypersexual since my adolescence. I will admit that our culture did not allow for BF/GF relationships prior to marriage so a lot of porn/erotic literature. I did go to some massages and had some hookups at college but no steady GF prior to marriage. I have never asked - i suspect she had a BF or two and not sure if she was 100% happy to marry me. that said she appreciates me now and we both love/care for each other. I would put myself in line of harm to keep her safe thats for sure.
Our culture is not sex positive - women are vilified for speaking about sex and being even close to being a libertine. So there was /possibly is a humongous gap which led to her freaking out when i rushed into the LSyle/kink aspects.
I have done many things to keep me from cheating - At one point I bought a chastity cage and out in on in front of her, channeled my thoughts towards cross dressing, experimented with dick (turns out I am not gay and cant imagine having sex w men but maybe I am Bi as part of the cuckolding kink). she found out about my cross dressing once or twice and probably thinks I am gay at this point and potentially the cause for the issues which is ironic. I have seduced enough women to be secure about my heterosexuality (not that i care at this point) but I value my marriage and don't want to cheat. Hence this effort to save the long term future of my marriage.

There may be a difference in values between your wife and good. A therapist may help clear the air.
You may also harbor HW fantasies because after 13 years of celibacy, you want a sexual wife. Not surprising.

A therapist is a great idea- if nothing else, it's a 'safe' place for you both to be able to talk openly.
Good luck to the both of you and if you want to chat then more than happy - just PM me.

She is wearing a HW anklet, why would you need a therapist. Let this go slowly, men will notice and start hitting on her.

nwengabaay wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 01, 2025 8:31 pm

We are in our 40s married for 15yrs. Have the strongest urge to get my wife into the lifestyle. Made mistakes when newly married in trying to hurry things nd making her go to questionable club settings etc. which ended with her telling her folks but marriage was saved.now 13 yrs of sleeping in separate rooms later somehow our marriage is stronger than ever. We dont yell or fight, have good jobs, matured. parenting flawlessly.Catch is zero sex related communication. My trust was gone when she divulged bedroom talk. But twist is I know she is a naughty girl inside. Big exhibitionist. Has libido - seen her watch born. She has started wearing anklet again. Last time she wore was a HW anklet I had bought her. Marriage is secure. She is interested to respark sex life. Has started to workout and wear slightly revealing clothes. But I am still not sure if she knows what I am going to tell thu.. I hope its not a shock to her cos I am going to openly communicate my kinks with the therapist there. Any thoughts on the approach? Do u think my wife knows and is just pretending to be ignorant?she has read the insatiable wives and ethical slut books i bought her a decade ago so should be knowing enough? Can't wait for this to play out..

What do you need a therapist for? I don't get it. Talk to us. I talked to my therapist about my situation (which has a few big parallels to you including a burst of activity and then nothing, even negative to the idea) a little bit. Pointless. Not like the therapist was going to get me cucked. In fact they would steer you both away from it, at least 99% of them would. Human nature.

You might as well be asking - "Hey, anybody know somebody who could talk my wife out of it? Thanks!"

And that "sex positive" is a two way sword. Oh yeah, it's sex positive for you to talk about wanting to be cucked. It's also sex positive for you to get an earful about how you're the only man she ever needs in bed!

Yeah, I know this isn't like the other advice. I've never heard of a couple, here or anywhere, going to therapy and getting cucked. And I tried it personally.

She needs a FRIEND to push her along. That would definitely do it. Good luck.

nwengabaay wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 01, 2025 8:31 pm

...... She is interested to respark sex life. Has started to workout and wear slightly revealing clothes. But I am still not sure if she knows what I am going to tell thu.. I hope its not a shock to her cos I am going to openly communicate my kinks with the therapist there. Any thoughts on the approach? .........

......Do u think my wife knows and is just pretending to be ignorant?she has read the insatiable wives and ethical slut books i bought her a decade ago so should be knowing enough? Can't wait for this to play out..

I imagine she knows. By giving her the books, you have indicated that these are fantasies of yours. Most wives don't immediately jump at the notion of sleeping with other people, outside their marriage. They may find it exciting on a fantasy level. They may fantasize about it while privately masturbating. But most people in our culture have been raised to believe that extra marital sex destroys a relationship. Most women aren't willing to take that risk. They are more likely to just keep it on the fantasy level.

I have heard so many guys on here, who said they had to work pretty hard to convince their wife, that they were not going to get jealous, they were not going to sleep with other women, that it was perfectly all right for the wife to have a one way free pass. They have needed reassurance that the marriage is solid, and will remain intact.

When most little girls fantasize about their future life. They fantasize about meeting a nice guy, getting married, becoming a wife and mother, and raising a family. I don't think very many of them fantasize about a marital life in which they sleep with other men.

They may have fantasies about the pool boy, or construction worker who flirts with them, but most will keep it at the fantasy level only and may never breathe a word of it to their husband, unless they specifically agree to share each other's most secret fantasies.