Our Hotwives

Hello, we are K (56 y/o woman) and L (53 y/o man) from New England. Although not married, we have been together for 15 years. K has never had a one night stand but has always had a boyfriend or husband. She loves sex as much as I do. The problem is I’ve always wanted to share her with another man. However, she’s never been receptive to the idea. She says I only want her to fuck other men because I’m not attracted to her (feels she’s fat). The problem is such fantasy has only intensified. I suppose some or most women will never agree to have sex with others even if encouraged by their men.
Should I instead look for a woman with a high sex drive and interest in swinging rather than continuing to try to convince my partner of 15 years?
Of note, we live apart during the week due to my professional job 2 hours away. No matter what I’ve said to her, she’s not willing to move in full time with me. She’s afraid I’d sell our main home. Her daughter lives in our basement with her family. It’s obvious she’s been using me. I just want to have an adult relationship with a woman who is very sexual, and will put me first. Am I being an asshole?

Thanks for your replies.

No you are not being a asshole and she isn’t either. Your just not compatible with your sexual fantasies. I suggest you go out and find a loving slut who will make your dreams come true.
I did after a 19 year marriage to a prude and haven’t regretted it at all in after having been married to my slut for 12 years we are so very happy and fulfilled sexually and so very happy.
There are women who love being hotwifes and they will love you for the freedom to be themselves.

Freethinker, even if your girlfriend were willing I wouldn't do it. Your relationship is not in a place where it would work to positive ends. Instead, it would harm your relationship. She's not willing to move in with you, she's using you... these things don't sound like the stable, strong relationship needed to engage in consensual non-monogamy.

So, give up your obsession? With your girlfriend, yes. In general? There's no problem with the idea of consensual non-monogamy. A future partner might be willing like stonemtncouple found.

It doesn't sound like your relationship is good.

In my opinion, this relationship isn't based on love. I don't think the fantasy of hotwife will satisfy you in this kind of relationship.

The LS is definitely not for everyone. If forced, it destroys relationships in an instant.