Lilbrathotwife wrote: Sat Jul 26, 2025 5:23 am
That's so great to hear! I'm glad my experience was able to shed some light for you, and the great advice everyone is giving has really helped.
I know my wife and I will get there, we are a soulmate power couple. I just need to find a way to help her understand what I'm feeling while still making sure she knows I 100% support her and am her BIGGEST cheerleader in this game. I just don't want the original intention of maximizing our sex life to be forgotten, and it feels like to some degree it has. Don't get me wrong, the videos we've done have made alone sexy time freaking phenomenal, but that's not my goal, my goal is being with her. And I don't want anything bad to come of this for her, or me, of course, but she's my number 1 priority, I'm her protector.
I, too, am my wife’s biggest cheerleader.
We started this journey in 2007. She had one boyfriend from March, 2007 through December, 2022. FIFTEEN YEARS AND NINE MONTHS she had been seeing him. NRE made it three, four, sometimes five times per week she was hopping on him for a good ride. Good times for all three of us, really. (Watching NEVER gets old! Am I right?) By the time she finally wanted to end it in December, 2022, it was down to, maybe, once every two weeks…maybe a little bit more….with occasional sputters of once every three weeks or so.
I know that quantity is not a realistic measure, but I want you to get an idea of how things slowed down over time.
He was, for all practical purposes, a sort of second husband for her…but without the drivel of raising kids, major home improvements, family drama, etc.
During that entire time, the only time I felt jealous was in the very beginning when he was enjoying her (for about that first year) without so much as an acknowledgment of my needs and desires to watch. (It had been my core motivation for wanting to explore this lifestyle with her. I desperately wanted to watch her taking pleasure with another man. We all knew it was there, that watching was important for me.) Finally, one day, I snapped. I had a little tantrum with the two of them, and I demanded to be included from time to time. They both agreed. It kind of felt like they (mostly “he”) were holding out from including me for as long as possible. (He said he felt uneasy with another man watching his junk as he fucked her.) After I was finally invited to watch, he eventually became more comfortable with me there. I think he could see that my focus was not necessarily on his junk, but on her pleasure. I LOVED seeing her happy and satisfied on another man’s cock while I kissed her and told her how much I love her.
But absolutely ZERO jealousy for the next 14+ years. It was a great run.
I don’t know why. (In retrospect, it’s weird.) No jealousy?
Then, she decided she’d had enough of him. She was ready to move on. Their union had come to a natural conclusion.
She had been eye-balling a coworker of hers, four years her junior (making him eight years younger than me). Flirting. Private conversations. And her eventually revealing to him that I was VERY aware of her activities, and that I encouraged her to play.
His defenses immediately went up. Before she ever mentioned it, he very quickly surmised that I’m a watcher.
There was “no way” he’d EVER be able to have me in the room while they had sex. He felt it destroyed intimacy, and he was very uncomfortable with some other guy looking at his junk while he and she fucked.
Having been through this once before with her first boyfriend, she and I figured it would just take some time for him to get used to the idea, but that he would eventually be okay with it. (My wife rather enjoyed having me watch, so I knew she would gently persuade him to let me watch over time.) So, we proceeded.
So, it’s been two years and eight months, now.
In the meantime, I have come to enjoy NOT being able to watch. I rather enjoy her storytelling and the smell and taste of him on her/in her when she gets home. (Having watched her with her first boyfriend hundreds of times, if not a thousand-plus, my need to watch seemed less “urgent” as part of our ground rules. Countless hours of video to help us relive those great moments. I feel like I was growing. No real need to watch, anyways. I can very accurately imagine exactly as it went down based on how she described it.)
But then, suddenly…for some reason THIS time around…I feel all of these jealous pangs.
The unique experiences he’s having with her that I mentioned in my first post in this thread. The fact that he’s eight years younger than me and (as she describes it) can make her cum in a minute. (I’d love to think I’m as potent as I was when we were in our 20s, but it takes me considerably longer to get her to cum now that we’re in our 50s. Five minutes? Ten minutes on bad days?) His pleasant, calm, laid-back personality. His much better body. And (as a Spanish immigrant), his VERY THICK Latin accent that just melts women’s hearts the moment he starts speaking. (I swear, it’s right out of a Hollywood script. He could pretty much have any willing woman he wants within his circle. But he chooses my very married wife…..who is VERY willing for him.)
And as you can imagine, as our kids move out of the house and we enter the pre-retirement/retirement phase of our lives, I’m feeling rather inadequate. My wife has taken (and THOROUGHLY enjoys) a true Latin lover, and I’m sitting here wondering how relevant I am in her life.
I hadn’t expected to feel so inadequate…maybe even irrelevant. I just witnessed her throw a 15-year boyfriend aside because their relationship had come full circle, to its natural end. “Natural end?” Could the same be happening to me as we entered this retirement view? Was/Am I about to be a 60-year-old divorcee as she switches to the younger, more potent, heart-melting, laid-back, cooler Latin lover?
The mind runs away with these worries if you don’t keep them in check.
Don’t get me wrong. Our romantic life is popping, too. She’s more than forthcoming about the great sex they have, and she takes very good care of me, too. (Even if it takes a little longer!)
It’s just that it’s……different this time around. I hadn’t expected to be having these feelings.
As I’ve noted in my first post in this thread, communication has ALWAYS been the key to living successfully in this lifestyle, so I knew I needed to get my baggage out into the open.
It’s been a good week.
Though she initially thought I was throwing a shit-fit to put an unreasonable end to it all, she calmed down once we read the posts above. She sees that we are ALL struggling with these pangs. She assures me that I am (and always will be) her primary, and that she’s just having a bit of fun right now. She points to things that bind us that can never be matched, like having and raising two kids into adulthood, and what that means for us.
The pangs are there. He’s younger, more handsome, and can make her cum in a flash. But she knows he is her dessert and not her main course. Super tasty, but ultimately not what’s best for her long-term health.
I’m glad she’s getting some dessert.
