Our Hotwives

My partner and I have been involved in the lifestyle for about six years, on and off.
We have found this website as interesting as it is useful at times and equally grateful to use it as a resource.
Of course Hotwifing in practise takes place in as many way as there are couples to do it, but we are quite surprised at the predominant examples of couples whose wive’s play solo and who equally stopped sexual relations with their husbands whilst seeing someone else.
We only ever play together and could not conceive of doing anything along these lines … For us it’s strongly a case of the ‘Couples that play together, stay together’. I would be beside myself is she was having sex in another place with another without me being there and/ot taking part. She has stated numerous times that a part of the turn on for her is to see my reactions as she flirts, seduces and then fucks the guy in front of me … Without this, she feels it would be akin to cheating ( permission or not ) and uncomfortably odd without me there …
Just our take.

HappyMan1212 wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 25, 2025 4:06 pm

My partner and I have been involved in the lifestyle for about six years, on and off.
We have found this website as interesting as it is useful at times and equally grateful to use it as a resource.
Of course Hotwifing in practise takes place in as many way as there are couples to do it, but we are quite surprised at the predominant examples of couples whose wive’s play solo and who equally stopped sexual relations with their husbands whilst seeing someone else.
We only ever play together and could not conceive of doing anything along these lines … For us it’s strongly a case of the ‘Couples that play together, stay together’. I would be beside myself is she was having sex in another place with another without me being there and/ot taking part. She has stated numerous times that a part of the turn on for her is to see my reactions as she flirts, seduces and then fucks the guy in front of me … Without this, she feels it would be akin to cheating ( permission or not ) and uncomfortably odd without me there …
Just our take.

Here's my hot take; it's probably controversial with half the board.

This board really represents two completely different lifestyles. They just happen to have a similar outcome.

Stag and Vixen, and Cuckold. I think the former is Voyeurism and Exhibitionist, while the later is Masochistic.

Unfortunately one leaks way more often into the other, and often they don't see it as different. Add to it that the internet search world has made the two near synonymous and the bleed through gets even worse. I get words are messy and should be a starting point for the discussion, but sometimes we're not talking the same language.

I think you'll find more people like you and your wife on the Hotwife/Stag/Vixen subs that describe your preferences. It gets even more complicated because there's people who move between the groups too. It's a spectrum of course, but for sure on one end is the typical Stag/Vixen and the other is the Cuckold. Side by side they are way different, but in the middle?

Great answer WatchinginNJ

I would counter the OP by suggesting the majority of the population would express exactly the same reservations about your wife having sex with other men at all

Some of us who don't consider ourselves cucks very much enjoy our wives playing solo. Being there (and participating) is great too, but your wife playing solo is a different kind of experience. More intense in many ways. Much more "in your head" for the husband -- not knowing (but knowing) what's happening, anxiously awaiting her return home... It's certainly something worth experiencing, IMHO. Leggysandy prefers it, and I think I do too. I'd never turn down an offer to join the party, but staying home is also a lot of fun.

The reality is were all comfortable and think "normal" is what were use to, or do. Its like what Leggysman said, what you and your wife, to most, is also something they could not imagine. My wife and I have been in the full spectrum of Stag/Hotwife to a cuckold. Were more into the Cuckold lifestyle now as my wife does date, like Leggysandy does- though mine even has had a couple long term loving boyfriends relationships.

My wife has said more than once how it even makes going shopping fun, knowing shes buying a dress outfit , sexy panties ect to go on a date. Getting to be "her" and the newness of dating, the nerves, the excitement of how it will go, the first kiss, the him seducing her. She loves knowing I'm there, her faithful husband who also gets turned on along with her, yet in a different way, when she has a good time on her date. Heck I even enjoy going shopping with her to buy sexy / pretty things for her to wear on her dates, kissing her bye, dropping her off for a date ect. And of course the best part is when she comes home after her date...mmmmmm. So whats normal to one is not to others, and thats what makes it all so fun and exciting. Who knows, maybe one day you two may like for her to try a date, who knows, have fun.

HappyMan1212 wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 25, 2025 4:06 pm

... Of course Hotwifing in practise takes place in as many way as there are couples to do it, but we are quite surprised at the predominant examples of couples whose wive’s play solo and who equally stopped sexual relations with their husbands whilst seeing someone else. ...

Well two things ...

First, playing solo:
I think most in the lifestyle, both husbands and wives, would prefer the husband be present while she dates. Reality tends to force a different situation at times, whether or not the couple finds it ideal. If you're able to play with the frequency that you like and not have to compromise whether or not you're present, great! I genuinely hope it stays that way for you (my wife loves me to watch).

If she doesn't feel safe without you then chances are she may not enjoy the sex anyway, so there may not be a reason to compromise (not to mention the obvious safety factors / risks themselves). In addition, if you're not the kind of husband who is aroused by her retelling the details, having her off somewhere playing without you won't do much for you either. You have to go with what feels right for both of you. It sounds like you're doing that so kudos!

Second, her stopping sexual relations:
Keep in mind most of what you read about this lifestyle anywhere on the Internet is fantasy. Usually it's frustrated husbands and cucks who have watched a lot of porn and have become tolerant to the visuals, so they have to veer into fantasy and make-believe. It's annoying but it's simply the reality of it. That's not to say anyone who said sex stopped with the wife as soon as she found a lover is a lie, it's just not as common as online posts will have you believe. I would argue if it's true, it's a bit of a red flag. But each relationship is different so it's impossible to say whether it's a red flag for a particular person / couple.

I will say it's common for the quantity of sex to remain the same (or dip slightly) after she finds a lover. This can be due to many reasons, such as the husband in chastity, new rules forming after a new bull becomes a part of their lives, the amount of sex she's having with her bull, etc. However, the sex that is had between husband and wife is likely MUCH more intense and pleasurable, so any less frequency will probably not be felt or perceived as a bad thing. This is why some husbands and cucks will tolerate a lot less sexual attention, but the amount of arousal from aspects of the lifestyle like changing power dynamics, humiliation and other aspects compensate for the amount of normal amount of sex he might experience. Often in these situations, sex is replaced by more affection and foreplay, which when coupled with denial, can be incredibly powerful and intoxicating.

I know this is the hotwife forum but I tend to see things through the lens of a cuck.

WatchinginNJ wrote: ↑

Fri Sep 26, 2025 3:54 am

HappyMan1212 wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 25, 2025 4:06 pm

My partner and I have been involved in the lifestyle for about six years, on and off.
We have found this website as interesting as it is useful at times and equally grateful to use it as a resource.
Of course Hotwifing in practise takes place in as many way as there are couples to do it, but we are quite surprised at the predominant examples of couples whose wive’s play solo and who equally stopped sexual relations with their husbands whilst seeing someone else.
We only ever play together and could not conceive of doing anything along these lines … For us it’s strongly a case of the ‘Couples that play together, stay together’. I would be beside myself is she was having sex in another place with another without me being there and/ot taking part. She has stated numerous times that a part of the turn on for her is to see my reactions as she flirts, seduces and then fucks the guy in front of me … Without this, she feels it would be akin to cheating ( permission or not ) and uncomfortably odd without me there …
Just our take.

Here's my hot take; it's probably controversial with half the board.

This board really represents two completely different lifestyles. They just happen to have a similar outcome.

Stag and Vixen, and Cuckold. I think the former is Voyeurism and Exhibitionist, while the later is Masochistic.

Unfortunately one leaks way more often into the other, and often they don't see it as different. Add to it that the internet search world has made the two near synonymous and the bleed through gets even worse. I get words are messy and should be a starting point for the discussion, but sometimes we're not talking the same language.

I think you'll find more people like you and your wife on the Hotwife/Stag/Vixen subs that describe your preferences. It gets even more complicated because there's people who move between the groups too. It's a spectrum of course, but for sure on one end is the typical Stag/Vixen and the other is the Cuckold. Side by side they are way different, but in the middle?

Your comment about a spectrum of relationship styles resonates. Yes, I too classify the "types" of relationships showcased on this Site as I would mix colors or write a recipe book of spicy dishes. The unifying category is defined in terms of marital (or quasi-marital boyfriend-girlfriend) relationships in which the wife or quasi-wife has outside-the-relationship sex with the husband's consent. And in the cases of the poly people, the marital base relationship we commonly observe as a couple can shade into something other than pair-bonding. For example, more than a few of the coupled relationships I've observed here evolve over time to add a third in such close orbit as to regard the group as almost a throuple.

I book on this topic I would write if I could clone myself and thereby acquire the free time to do so would include not only a taxonomy of the species of these relationships but the vastly differing underlying mix of psychological forces in play that result in the observable dynamics we are using such broad brushed labels as stag-vixen or cuck to describe, and I would also devote a few chapters to the evolution of species, how over time some of these marital dynamics grow unstable and change. My wife and I have evolved our marriage significantly since we started down this road 8 years ago, and we always seem interested in new ways to play or tweak or current arrangement to experience a new color shade or spice in the recipe.

HappyMan1212 wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 25, 2025 4:06 pm

My partner and I have been involved in the lifestyle for about six years, on and off.
We have found this website as interesting as it is useful at times and equally grateful to use it as a resource.
Of course Hotwifing in practise takes place in as many way as there are couples to do it, but we are quite surprised at the predominant examples of couples whose wive’s play solo and who equally stopped sexual relations with their husbands whilst seeing someone else.
We only ever play together and could not conceive of doing anything along these lines … For us it’s strongly a case of the ‘Couples that play together, stay together’. I would be beside myself is she was having sex in another place with another without me being there and/ot taking part. She has stated numerous times that a part of the turn on for her is to see my reactions as she flirts, seduces and then fucks the guy in front of me … Without this, she feels it would be akin to cheating ( permission or not ) and uncomfortably odd without me there …
Just our take.

As you said there are as many different ways to approach this lifestyle as there are couples practicing it. What works for one couple would never work for another and vice versa. Also as we progress people change, situations are different, and one or both evolve into someone totally different. If the marriage was solid at the start the couple can evolve and survive as a couple I believe.

There are some good answers here. I particularly like the response from D+D immediately above.

I have never understood posts from people who say the wife cut her husband off because she only wants to engage in sex with her boyfriend. People have their kinks, but I've never understood that one. I agree with the majority on this forum who say that hotwife activity must be shared. But sharing (to me) can mean anything from threesomes to solos and telling your husband (or wife) all about it at the first opportunity. There are times, and partners, who you will do intense things with that you would feel uncomfortable doing in front of your husband or wife. Kissing is a good example. It can be recreational and fun to the person doing it, but can feel very uncomfortable if your spouse is watching you do it, or to the spouse if s/he is watching. So, solos may be preferred.

And tastes differ. For example, I love it when my wife watches me have intercourse during an FMF threesome. My wife hates it. I love it when my wife tells me what she was thinking and what she was wanting during a date with an fb. My wife doesn't like the reverse, e.g. me telling her what happened in a date I had. Yet, my wife has no objection to me seeing and being sexually intimate with her best girlfriend. (I don't try to understand it.)

So, to sum it up, "different strokes for different folks".