Our Hotwives

Trying to take the big step:
I'm mid 60s & my wife is late 50s both in good health & very active. We've been together 5 years & married a year. This is the 2nd marriage for both of us. We have an incredible relationship, having both learned from our past experiences. We share many hobbies/passions & most importantly our communication is a 10+.

Our sex life has been consistently great. We enjoy toys & she often has 6-10 orgasms btwn the toys, my mouth & fingers. She has rarely had an orgasm from intercourse with me or her previous partners. I have an average cock in length & girth and would love to see her with a larger girthier cock. She says she's content with mine but is happy to play along in our fantasy talk.

Very early in our relationship I shared my interest in watching her with other men. Her initial reaction after a short pause was a measured "well it would really have to be the right person." Since that time it's been a conversation which has become more frequent. I've read "the faithful hot wife" book & picked up plenty of tips on various OHW forums a number of which I've shared with my wife. We've done some initial role-playing & lots of fantasy talk during sex.

We've recently begun talking about trying to make it happen. She has some interest, but says she would mainly be doing it for me. I don't have an interest in being with other women. For me it's about watching her experience pleasure from other men. (I'm also up for participating if she'd like) Seeing her orgasm and get pleasure is a huge turn on for me.

As we've discussed the possibility of moving ahead with this she has 3 concerns. 1)Safety 2)No STDs & 3) she doesn't want to do anything to compromise or hurt our relationship.
From what I've read on this site many of the couples participating in this L.S. have very healthy relationships & it seems to help keep their marriages spicy and front & center regardless of what their various kinks are.

All that as background- in the next couple months we have some trips planned to Palm Springs & Las Vegas and are looking at opportunities to take the big step away from home. We aren't interested in going the app route. She's said I may need to find the guy. She finds black & Hispanic men attractive. It may need to be an old fashioned bar pickup where I approach someone first. My wife knows that she can always call an audible at the last minute & call it off if it's not the right person or circumstance.

I would welcome any thoughts or ideas for how to take "the big step". Thanks in advance for any input.

A simple thought: If you are in Palm Springs, consider going to Sea Mountain Inn for an introduction to group nudity and possibly being around others engaging in sex play. You might offer it as an invitation to your wife to have a mind-expanding experience where you and she will be safe and able to see how sharing partners is, at least for some, comfortable.

It is not cheap, but if you are already in Palms Springs, you might just want to go on an adventure, with no expectations to play. It can give both of you something to think and talk about for quite some time.

And know I have zero connection to the place and certainly no financial interest.
We were there once, 15 years ago. It has its strengths and weaknesses, like so many other places. Yet it might be a pleasant way to dip your toes in the water together.

Thanks Zoro. That may be a good way to as you say " to take an adventure, dip our toes in the water and have something to discuss." I doubt we'd participate on an initial visit but it another step and definitely a much closer look at reality.
Lodging for our upcoming trip is booked but we'll be back early next year so I'll give SMI a good look.
Appreciate the suggestion!

If she is on board start a Tinder account or SLS and start scoping the guys with her. Have her pick a few she finds attractive. Let her have the conversations with them and set up a short meet for coffee in a public place. Specify with the guy that it is just a meet & greet with no expectations. Also always be upfront that condoms are a must.

Thanks Babs, Tinder not something she's likely to do but the meet & greet with boundaries discussed upfront is great advice- appreciate it.

Iamcurious22 wrote: ↑

Wed Nov 12, 2025 6:45 am

Thanks Zoro. That may be a good way to as you say " to take an adventure, dip our toes in the water and have something to discuss." I doubt we'd participate on an initial visit but it another step and definitely a much closer look at reality.
Lodging for our upcoming trip is booked but we'll be back early next year so I'll give SMI a good look.
Appreciate the suggestion!

You two can visit SMI as day visitors if you have lodging elsewhere.
There are options available.

I've been hanging out here on OHW for 15 years now. There is no better tour guide than Zorro for a wannabe hubby and hotwife. And he's giving you great advice (as HW Babs did, if your wife is inclined to looking and chatting on-line).

Your backstory is quite intriguing, and your wife is further advanced in her acceptance of your fantasy than most new posters.

I think a hubby increases his chances of seeing his wife go down the hotwife slide by finding ways to engage with sexually playful people. That would include the clientele at places like Sea Mountain, etc. It might also include business guys hanging out at conference bars or airport bars if that is a fit for your comfort zone.

If you relocated to a new place and wanted to find, say, tennis partners or golf partners, you would be smart to hang out at tennis or golf clubs. If you are looking for edgy people for sexy wife-sharing, it seems best to find out where they are and seek their company.

Best luck!

Appreciate all the good advice- will definitely try to visit SMI on trip to PS. Will keep y'all posted if? (when!) progress is made