Fighting the cuckold fantasy

[Tire_Kicker]

Hmmm... Some of my replies kind of got mixed in the yellow text, oh well.

[hubudig2]

I saw a couple so in love that they would truly do anything for each other. It was a special relationship. I really liked Randy and would have done anything for him.

I had girlfriends, she had flings and in the end I realized that the thought of her with another man was a huge turn on. I could also be fiercely jealous, it was confusing and exciting. I guess we were finding ourselves...

I have so much respect for cuckold couples. I'm actually jealous of what it does for relationships and the trust involved to allow it to work.
I preach it to those that are considering it but there's not an ounce of me that thinks I could share my wife.
The idea doesn't turn me on at all, it's entirely bad feelings. Jealousy isn't the word, more like disgust.
When someone reaches out to me that's torn between finding it highly erotic and horribly gut punchy, I actually find that quite easy to imagine and feel the need to do anything I can to help.

Now about that label...

I wasn't sure if you were posting a follow up...?
Or is that for me to follow up?

[Tire_Kicker]

I saw a couple so in love that they would truly do anything for each other. It was a special relationship. I really liked Randy and would have done anything for him.

I had girlfriends, she had flings and in the end I realized that the thought of her with another man was a huge turn on. I could also be fiercely jealous, it was confusing and exciting. I guess we were finding ourselves...

I have so much respect for cuckold couples. I'm actually jealous of what it does for relationships and the trust involved to allow it to work.
I preach it to those that are considering it but there's not an ounce of me that thinks I could share my wife.
The idea doesn't turn me on at all, it's entirely bad feelings. Jealousy isn't the word, more like disgust.
When someone reaches out to me that's torn between finding it highly erotic and horribly gut punchy, I actually find that quite easy to imagine and feel the need to do anything I can to help.

Now about that label...

I wasn't sure if you were posting a follow up...?
Or is that for me to follow up?

As mentioned previously, I'm still trying to figure out the class structure, it could be that we are a cuckold couple just not as often. My wife can't wait to be back with me and "reclaimed" as some call it on here. It has never been more than a one night thing and she is adamant that it is for me and my "weird' fantasies and nothing more. I've been making her toes curl for four decades and she wants nothing more. It drives her crazy when women come on to me, sometimes right in front of her. Kind of surprises me too truth be told, I tell her it's just to keep her on her toes lol.

Does your wife know you're a practicing bull? What is that conversation like...

[hubudig2]

As mentioned previously, I'm still trying to figure out the class structure, it could be that we are a cuckold couple just not as often. My wife can't wait to be back with me and "reclaimed" as some call it on here. It has never been more than a one night thing and she is adamant that it is for me and my "weird' fantasies and nothing more. I've been making her toes curl for four decades and she wants nothing more. It drives her crazy when women come on to me, sometimes right in front of her. Kind of surprises me too truth be told, I tell her it's just to keep her on her toes lol.

I'm always reluctant to put definitions to labels publicly, it often starts heated debates.

As I see it:
Hotwifing is the collective term, within that you have stag&vixen at one end of a spectrum, cuckolding at the other other end.
I usually refer to anything that's not clearly one of those two as hotwifing.

Cuckolds:
- tend to enjoy submission to their wife, the bull and/or the situation
- tend to enjoy humiliation in one form or another. This doesn't have to mean literal verbal/physical humiliation. This can take many forms and will usually accumulate more forms over time. Just feeling sexually inferior to the bull (or wanting to) can be a kind of humiliation.
- tend to enjoy feeling powerless to the situation. Cuckolds usually find it hotter if their wife or bull arrange/do things without their consent although they might like to be kept in the loop at first

Stags:
- tend to enjoy dominating their wives
- tend to enjoy "training" their wives to be "naughty"
- tend to want to arrange situations themselves and/or maintain some control over them
- potentially find the same physical acts as cuckolds to be hot but it's a different mindset that makes it hot to them. I guess like most sexual acts can be done in a dominant or submissive (or neutral) way. Most hotwifing acts can be done in a stag or cuckolding (or neutral/hotwifing) way. If I describe some humiliating cuckolding scenarios to a stag, he'll probably say that it isn't humiliating, it's just hot because it's a different perception.

I'm like a bloodhound for submission so I'll generally be able to tell if someone's a cuck from body language or things they say.
I'm not sensing that with you, you seem to be in control of your hotwifing ventures even if you may find it hot to temporarily relinquish it.

Does your wife know you're a practicing bull? What is that conversation like...

She's fully aware of everything I do, as of about 2 years ago (we've been together for 14-20 years).
Pretty much every sexual experience I ever had before (and including) my wife has been with someone else's girlfriend, so it wasn't a big surprise to her.
When I told her about it, I was only talking to other people online which she was ok with. After a year or so she agreed to try allowing me to participate with other couples which I never imagined she would do.
She finds some aspects of it hot and/or interesting but struggles with the idea of me with other women.

[Tire_Kicker]

First of all I'd like to thank you for your insight and your wisdom, you're spot on. You asked me previously why I was on this particular sub-forum and I replied that I came to OHW in search of a better understanding of the feelings I've had since my early 20's. It's not something you see coming, suddenly your Johnson is betraying your true feelings and here we are.
When my girlfriend and I agreed to remain true of heart even if the body strayed when she went off to college, I had no idea... We both had ravenous appetites for sex, we were compatible that way then and now even in my 60's sex is never far from my mind or hers.
One thing I will mention, being from small town USA does tend to make one less likely to flaunt the lifestyle at the club or do random hooking up like I see mentioned so often on some postings. Frankie was a lot more likely to let her hair down when we were in the city, she liked the freedom of anonymity, it was liberating. Even just flirting to get me wound up and then take me back to the room and fuck the shit out of me while talking dirty was more than enough to give us pillow talk for months.
I don't want to come off as fraud but I feel like there is a certain amount of decorum and respectability that must be maintained among family and friends.
I never fucked my friends wives even though several put it out there, I kind of feel bad for them to this day. I did fuck a couple of women who had real douche bags for husbands.
Being a bull for my buddy's Wife was a situation that caught me off guard, she started coming on to me... a lot. I don't do that to friends, but when he and I went out drinking one night and he brought me home and offered her up, it was on. She talked and next thing you know my wife is like WTF? Who does that???
This isn't even the beginning of all I've put her through, in the end I love her and she still loves me to death and I know I don't deserve her. True love is some crazy shit!

40 years and counting...

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Sorry it took so long to reply.

Life is busy!

Thanks for such a hot and detailed response!

Then, the squeaky bed noises. Mike was going all in, and his bride was becoming much more vocal. My wife pulled me on top of her, and we started to return the hot favor of “mutual moaning” to let the other party know we, too, were having some fun. It eventually got raucous with headboards SLAMMING the shared wall, almost like Mike and I were trying to out-do each other in the “I can fuck my wife harder than you can fuck yours” realm. We surely did damage to that wall on both sides.

It seems like a hot concept (for me at least) to consider that you were competing to out-do each other there.
The forfeit was 10 years jerking off to the thought of the winner fucking his wife.
I wonder what you might've thought about that concept in that moment.

Honestly, no.

It didn’t feel like a competition at the time. I think we were all worked up about the “live porn” that was happening just a few inches away, on the bed behind that 4- or 5-inch wall. We were turned on by the noises coming from their room, and they were equally turned on by our reciprocation.

We were so young … so naive. We were certainly not thinking about the long-term. The only thing that occupied our minds was how hot the whole scene was….imaging Mike pounding his lovely wife…and for their part, imagining me pounding mine.

To be honest, though, THAT moment……watching Mike’s dick sliding in and out of his bride’s sweet pussy…..was when I imagined how utterly HOT it would be to watch him do the same to my wife, ultimately filling her with his cum, listening to her moaning and enjoying it, his fucking cute wife and me watching him “own” my wife’s pussy…..him claiming my wife’s sexy cunt for himself in front of his bride……and then claiming his own bride’s pussy immediately afterward.

I was dumbstruck! In that moment, I looked down at my own cock and could imagine nothing more than it being HIS cock that was splitting my wife open. I couldn’t imagine anything else. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a cuck. I wanted my wife to fuck another man, take his cum inside her, and show me how much she enjoyed it.

…………………

Although Mike’s wife was cute as hell, I really didn’t care about swapping. I didn’t want to fuck her, actually. I wanted Mike to “demonstrate” his superiority by fucking both girls to orgasm and depositing his sperm in my wife.

I didn’t know what it was called at the time, but I wanted my wife to cuck me……ideally right away……with Mike and his newlywed wife. I wanted to watch my wife enjoy another man’s raging cock. I wanted to watch her enjoy being manhandled (rough play? light choking?) by a man who’s clearly stronger than me.

Ever consider if that night hadn't happened, would you have gotten into it at another time? Or maybe never at all?
If you put 100 men through that same experience, how many would have the same outcome?
(These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night )

We have made this “lifestyle” work for us because we have committed to it. But it wasn’t just smooth sailing as we got started, either.

Despite the super-hot experience we had at the cabin, sobering up tempered our thoughts. While I was ready to go all in immediately, she was thinking the whole experience was a one-off, something that would never happen again. That idea cemented itself in her mind quickly.

My wife, a Filipina with strong genetic lineages to Japan and China, does not metabolize alcohol well. She gets “the Asian glow” VERY quickly. Consequently, we don’t drink often because even a small amount of alcohol makes her shit-faced for hours. She only drinks when she knows she can safely lose control….and when she wants to remind herself about why she drinks so infrequently. (She hates losing control.)

Obviously, she felt safe that night…..a warm, secluded cabin, a loving husband, good friends, good food, a little wine, a little weed, etc.

She chalked the whole experience up to the wine and weed. Even though we were all having a great time, she convinced herself the next morning that the ONLY explanation for her leaving her conservative, Catholic rails was that it was all due to the wine…maybe a husband who should have been a little more conservative. (Impossible!)

Thus began my ten-year wannabe journey.

Mike and his wife left Colorado that day.

We immediately reverted to “vanilla,” but my imagination had already been “poisoned” at the thought of watching her getting railed by Mike. It was impossible for me to not imagine it whenever we had sex after that night. I wanted it sooooooooo bad, but I had no idea how I’d get my wife to take me seriously.

So I kept it to myself for about a year.

Does Mike know what an affect that night had on you?
Was he doing anything in particular that grabbed your attention like that?
e.g. Was his cock bigger? Was he more capable? Did his wife look like she was enjoying it more than yours?
Or did your mind make it seem like those things were true? Because it was a hot idea to you?
It does sound like he took charge of the situation.
Why do you think fucking side-by-side like that caused you to latch onto this idea?

Sadly, as you know, their honeymoon to our family’s Rocky Mountain cabin was cut short by her father’s cardiac arrest (which he survived, but scary nonetheless).

Mike (and his wife) were VERY aware of the effect this experience had on me. We talked about it on the phone. He said his wife was down for swapping if/when they ever came out to Colorado again. She apparently rather enjoyed watching me fuck my wife and cum, and she thought it would be a lot of fun to enjoy some “weekend swapping,” where our wives would simply trade places for a few days…privately and publicly.

I told Mike there was no way my wife was ready to swap. “She more or less shut the matter down when she sobered up.”

We were bummed, of course, but we also love our wives. We’d end up hoping, but we weren’t about to pressure or cajole. Of course not! That would be a sucky way to go into this, anyways. As much as I was dying to feel her cuck me…to watch her enjoy another man’s cock before my very eyes…even with a swap…It HAS to be her wish. If it doesn’t come from her, it’s not a cucking.

I've known guys to instantly turn cuck through a cuck experience but this wasn't a cuck experience as such.

As readers know, my wife eventually cucked me with her boss.

It took ten years.

We’d been “vanilla” (in her mind) for about a year when I finally confessed that I couldn’t cum without imagining that it was Mike’s cock filling her up. (I finally had to let it out! It was just too much to bear.)

She was hurt, initially, and said I make her feel dirty.

I was devastated. I didn’t want her to feel “dirty.” If anything, I hoped she’d feel liberated…free to explore without worrying about our marriage. I wondered if I should have suppressed my confession. I hated myself.

………………….

I have spent DECADES reviewing our journey to where we are now. I NEVER want to forget our journey because it has been a pivotal part of OUR identity. We have grown immensely and have “found” ourselves in this way of living.

And we’re still evolving quite nicely.

………………….

Mike and his wife never came back to Colorado. We lot touch.

The fantasy lived on, though. My ever-understanding wife put her conservative proclivities aside for me and entertained it as a sex-play scenario. (She felt less “dirty” about it.) She would always let me build the picture for her during foreplay while I fingered her and licked her nipples and ate her pussy. It seemed like she really enjoyed it, actually. She was always far wetter when she got to imagine Mike holding her down with his hands on each of her open thighs power-fucking her lovely cunt.

(As a side note: Both of our children were probably conceived as we imagined Mike’s cock filling her with his sperm. The fantasy was there almost every time we fucked during those ten years. It was ubiquitous.)

I reached out to Mike a few years later. I managed to find his work number since I knew the company he worked for and the town where he lived.

He and his wife were getting divorced.

Do you think it had something to do with what you went on to explain about him seeing your wife naked and fucked?
It was close enough to a cuck experience to trigger you?

I'm sure you've discussed that occasion many times with your wife.
I'm assuming when you first told her how you really felt about it, when she looked back on it, she wasn't into the idea of fucking Mike?
Now that she's into the idea too, does she look back on it like a missed opportunity?

I’ve indicated in previous posts and in this one (above) that my wife was devoutly Catholic early in our marriage, when Mike and his wife came to Colorado for a “cheap honeymoon.”

I guess the experience with Mike and his wife was triggering partly because, until it was happening before our very eyes, my wife was so carefree that evening, and I imagined the possibilities.

My normally (extremely) modest and private wife actually allowed herself to be seen naked by someone other than me.

That, alone, was mind blowing! Another man? Not me? Staring at her completely naked body? Her tits? Her cooter? Open legs and all? While I slid my cock between the pink folds of her perfect little pussy? Seeing EVERYHING right down to her little wet clit? There was NOTHING that was censored for us……right down to her “don’t even think about touching me there” little, puckered asshole. ……. It was insane! I would have NEVER thought such a thing could have been possible. I was out of my mind. What fun seeing her that way…so beautifully carefree!

Would she have swapped the next night? I don’t know! It’s really hard to say.

If I had to guess, in all honesty, I feel like she’d shoot the idea down as she slowly sobered up. It would have been a bummer, but I can definitely say that I’d ONLY ever wanted it if she would want it. This is, of course, true today. She’s the queen, after all. If she doesn’t want to cuck me, then it’s not a cucking. All agency MUST be hers. That’s the point of cucking. SHE has to be in control, and us cucks are REQUIRED to yield total control to our queens.

Until that moment, the thought never crossed my mind.
[...]
Crazy, right? (It’s amazing to be blindsided by something like that at such a young age. We were so naive.)

It does seem crazy but I actually believe that most, if not all guys are capable of being into this, it just takes a particular [set of] experience[s]/circumstance[s].
I think I've been personally responsible for converting 2 or 3 guys.
I actually like that idea and I don't know if that makes me a bad person?

I agree that A LOT of guys are into the idea of getting cucked…….but society looks down upon us, so no one wants to admit how fucking intoxicating the notion is. I love reading about all of the “alpha by day; cuck by night” stories here, on OHW. These are the men who admit, “It’s kinda fun to let her drive every now and then.”

I certainly don’t think you’re a bad person for converting a few fellows. (You were a bull for a surprised cuck? That must have been a lot of fun.)

I was that deer in the headlights. (“WTF just happened?” I remember thinking.)

Did you not feel conflicted about it after cumming? That time or any time thereafter.

I do occasionally feel the pangs of self-doubt.

As you are all acutely aware, my wife is far less Catholic and conservative than she used to be in our early years. (She still goes to church and prays the rosary, but she has become much savvier about its role in her personal journey.)

I wonder if we’d be a closer couple had we lived like swans, completely bound to each other for life.

What do you all think?

She finally decided to cuck me in 2007 with her boss. She has insisted that I remain actively cucked. She truly likes when I watch, and she makes a point of making me participate by having me jerk off for them while he fucks her.

In the beginning, he fucked her five or six times a week. (There was A LOT of cumming in those days!) They’ve slowed down over the years, though, and she ends up visually cucking me about every six or seven weeks. (He still fucks her about once a week….maybe more like once every ten or eleven days.) He enjoys cucking me, too. ALWAYS makes it possible for me to watch his dick twitching as he cums in her…and she takes it. We can tell, though, that it’s slowly winding down, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she wants to stop with him altogether.

But in the process of winding down, she entertained a different fellow…..a younger guy. They’re currently fucking all night long about once every three weeks or so. She asked him how he’d feel about me watching, and he clammed up. He thinks his dick is small. (She has shown me pictures. He’s very “normal,” nothing to be embarrassed about.). I think he’s just using his dick size as an excuse, to be honest.

She asks me to be patient while she works on convincing him it’ll be fun….and he might even enjoy fucking another man’s wife right in front of him.

The end result, though, is that I’m now being cucked without having the privilege of watching or cleaning her up after he has finished in her.

On one level, having previously watched often and then being denied the privilege makes me regret getting into this. (I want to watch my queen cum and moan on his cock soooooooo bad!)

On another level, so many cucks here, on OHW, talk of cucking EXCLUSIVELY this way. Imagining him plowing her pussy without abandon, KNOWING that she’s cumming on his dick many times throughout the night….while I sit at home with a hard-on

Well…..It’s a whole new feeling.

This is what my queen wants; therefore, this is what my queen shall have! (At least she comes home with his smell all over her and sits on my face.)

I’m happy for her, of course, but I still often wonder if we’re going to be okay in the end. I can’t shake the paranoia that we’ll get to “the end” and we’ll become the laughing stock of ALL of our swan-like friends, family, and acquaintances who will say, “OF COURSE, you never share your wife, dumbass! Now look at how pathetic you are!”

It will have been a fantastic ride, though, even if I’m labeled a pathetic loser for the rest of my life.

[Smit_hd]

I developed the fantasy. If I could make it go away I probably would. Always wondered if she actually wanted it, if it would go away