Girlfriend started her hotwife journey, now she can't stop

[tankholder]

We are a couple, together for about 10 years now. Just last year I started to talk about cuckolding with her. At first she was very shy about it, I didn't want to push it too hard, then i figured out I kind of did.

After small fight and cooldown, she started to meet other guys. At first, online, then later in person (at nudist beaches mostly). Couple of times I was present, mostly in hotels on vacations, now lately, she is doing it without me. I don't even know if she tells me everything.

The thing is, I wanted this. I still want this, but it's like a part of me that didn't realize this is the new normal. She told me that she won't back down ever and i was fine with that. There is a lot more going on, but let's leave it here, for this topic.

What do you think? Is this a dream? Is this going to backfire somehow?

[wannabecUKold]

What a lovely position to have arrived at. So nice to have a girl who loves plenty of sex.
Nudist beaches were a good place to start. They make it clear that the deal is sex, not relationship.
I assume that she is just meeting numerous fuck-buddies, perhaps on an anonymous basis. She has got the appetite now and, for her, third party sex now has to be a continuing feature of her sex life. It is good that she has involved you watching at times, which she fels comfortable with.

As you comment, there is a lot more going on, so we cannot comment whether this is all going to backfire. But it won't necessarily: she is hungry for sex and is getting it. Then she comes back home to you. But ideally she would tell you about all the events she has.
The real concern would be if she found herself getting into a relationship impacting on your relationship with her. Tell us more about her and you and what she does. And how you react to it.

[Cdncuck]

Nobody has a crystal ball. There's no way to know what direction this may take. The thing is you have to communicate clearly and often. That isn't just talking to her about the sex. You need to discuss your feelings about each other and the relationship and where each of you would like to see it go. You said in your post you didn't want to push...and then you did. In the future, try to avoid pushing and let her decide what she wants to do. It's difficult but if you put yourself in the position of screen director rather than caring partner it likely won't go well.

[Coolcalm]

Already backfired…

We are a couple, together for about 10 years now. Just last year I started to talk about cuckolding with her. At first she was very shy about it, I didn't want to push it too hard, then i figured out I kind of did.

After small fight and cooldown, she started to meet other guys. At first, online, then later in person (at nudist beaches mostly). Couple of times I was present, mostly in hotels on vacations, now lately, she is doing it without me. I don't even know if she tells me everything.

The thing is, I wanted this. I still want this, but it's like a part of me that didn't realize this is the new normal. She told me that she won't back down ever and i was fine with that. There is a lot more going on, but let's leave it here, for this topic.

What do you think? Is this a dream? Is this going to backfire somehow?

[Shiphead]

It sounds like you didn't realize the type of FLR or hotwife relationship you had envisioned and fantasized about.
It seems that you two had not talked clearly about your expectations and boundries.
It's always interesting to me that a hotwife, in whatever situation, will so quickly throw away her husband, marriage and relationship over sex. I guess if things weren't communicated completely, that this is what happens.
I guess now she just expects you to financial support her and her BF or FB's for the rest of his life. Sorry to say it but I think you got what you asked for but didn't want. You can only try to fix this by sitting down with your wife and having a heart to heart conversation. Find out if there is any common ground in this new relationship dynamic. Then find out what role she will have for you in her life going forward. Then you can decide what you need to do.

[ucaneffher]

That's one risk we take when we ask our women to start seeing other men. In our head we envision it one way but it can be interpreted another, especially if we didn't set rules and boundaries from the start. Even when such measures are taken, things can go wrong.

I did a lot of pushing myself when I was 16 and trying to get my GF to sleep around in high school. Clearly still immature and just a horny teenager. Finally at 19 she went for it and it was fine and dandy until she was addicted And I could no longer change my mind about her sleeping around. Not that I wanted her to but I knew that at this point there was no stopping her. I tested it and confirmed that "but you wanted this and now I don't want to stop".

The lifestyle is about the couple and compromising for each other. Meet halfway. Try yo sit down and let her know that she can have her freedom but you'd like to be included as well whether watching, pictures, videos, stories, or simply the truth.

One more thing, make sure she isn't doing it for the wrong reasons. The fight thing is a bit of a red flag and tells us she is after other men simply because you pissed her off. In her mind she could be retaliating.

[tankholder]

The thing is, there is a lot of truth in everything that all of you wrote, but i think it's more complicated. I don't mind it. I am questioning the situation, but I very much love it currently. We are even talking further, things like regular boyfriend, going away for couple of days on her own and with a boyfriend... just a while back, I also met a guy and exchange phone numbers in order to stay in touch, so that he could fuck her.

Basically, everything that has happened combined, made my head full of different emotions and feelings. I do strongly believe that she loves me. I do also believe, that it is for the right reasons - being angry is also acceptable reason for me. We had a talk initially, set some rules, but those rules mainly involved her freedom and my worshipping of her and her decisions.

As confused as I may sound, I just wanted to ask if any of you were in the similar ppsition and how it went for you?

[elina]

Dear Tankholder

Nobody can predict if this is going to backfire or not.
Also, I do think that what you do now will have a very strong impact on whether it will.

Dear are lots of people with experience to offer you their perspectives on this site if you will pleas post more in detail, background, how is your sexlife with your Wife? Girlfriend?. Obviously you are going to nude beaches so you are not the most conservative couple i guess.

First suggestion,
Show your Girl that you love Her,
Tell Her that She can safely confide anything in you.
Tell you that you know you were the one who suggested this and now your truly want to be in this together with Her.

If you can convince your Girl that you have something to offer her, e.g. longterm love and support, She may very well want to stay with you and include you even if She happens to have figured out that She is getting more out of Sex with other males.

I think the safest way to make it backfire is to say nothing and leave Her to explore on Her own and for you to wonder if She is telling you.
But when She does tell you, it is important that you support and accept Her for what you wanted Her to be.

Please continue to post more.

Sincerely
elina

[tankholder]

Dear Tankholder

Nobody can predict if this is going to backfire or not.
Also, I do think that what you do now will have a very strong impact on whether it will.

Dear are lots of people with experience to offer you their perspectives on this site if you will pleas post more in detail, background, how is your sexlife with your Wife? Girlfriend?. Obviously you are going to nude beaches so you are not the most conservative couple i guess.

First suggestion,
Show your Girl that you love Her,
Tell Her that She can safely confide anything in you.
Tell you that you know you were the one who suggested this and now your truly want to be in this together with Her.

If you can convince your Girl that you have something to offer her, e.g. longterm love and support, She may very well want to stay with you and include you even if She happens to have figured out that She is getting more out of Sex with other males.

I think the safest way to make it backfire is to say nothing and leave Her to explore on Her own and for you to wonder if She is telling you.
But when She does tell you, it is important that you support and accept Her for what you wanted Her to be.

Please continue to post more.

Sincerely
elina

I do tell her those things. She tells me the same. There is no problem in communication. Maybe she advanced her game to test my emotions a little bit further. Yesterday for example, i was working late, send her a message that I will be late and she sent me a video of sucking one of her bull. She didn't tell me before, she just did it. I was home before she came, and I waited for her on the bed, with my mouth ready to lick her both holes and taste her bull's dick.

When I went to sleep later, I was thinking... probably this emotional play needs to be part of the game. This is how she is doing it. I cannot say I don't like it. I like it, very much, it just goes her way, not mine. I think that is the case. Me wanting a little FLR and not being fully prepared but liking it along the way.

[elina]

I do tell her those things. She tells me the same. There is no problem in communication. Maybe she advanced her game to test my emotions a little bit further. Yesterday for example, i was working late, send her a message that I will be late and she sent me a video of sucking one of her bull. She didn't tell me before, she just did it. I was home before she came, and I waited for her on the bed, with my mouth ready to lick her both holes and taste her bull's dick.

When I went to sleep later, I was thinking... probably this emotional play needs to be part of the game. This is how she is doing it. I cannot say I don't like it. I like it, very much, it just goes her way, not mine. I think that is the case. Me wanting a little FLR and not being fully prepared but liking it along the way.

Dear Tankholder

Thank you for this wonderful post.

It seems to me like you are handling this very well.

I also thinks it is highly encouraging that She just sent you this video out of the blue, it shows that She does enjoy involving you, but that She will do it i HER way and when it suits Her. I would assume that your reaction to Her Video pleased Her. You demonstrate your complete acceptance and your desire to worship Her.

Maybe you are also stepping up your contributions to doing the chores around the house? Always fullfilling Her wishes immediately and with a smile. It is another way to demonstrate your commitment and acceptance to Her, and showing Her how useful you can be to Her.

I would love to hear more from you on how this is evolving.

Sincerely
elina