After 30 years she found a lover but I am hurt

[surry]

My wife is the church secretary. I have always wanted her to cuckold me, but she refused. I told her that when we got married, she had a hall pass. She never used it. My wife always liked alpha males, like jocks with hair on their chests. During our sex talks, she has said she is not attracted to black men. She isn't wired like that. We have always had mixed friends. Her church hired a single black preacher and six years different. His name is James. After a month, my wife started talking about James all the time. He was helping her with her low self-esteem and shyness. She began acting differently towards me and correcting me. Then she started guarding her phone. For the first time, I looked at her text messages and emails. James was complimenting her for standing up for herself towards me. My wife was complaining about me, and he was taking her side. Then she thanked him for the lunch date. Then he told her her kiss was terrific. He asked her if she could get away to his place. Tell your husband she was working on a church project. I remembered this. She told him she loved his body and had never had such good sex. He asked her not to be shy but to say the proper word "Fuck" instead of sex. After that, she would tell him she loved being fucked by him. He complimented them on her new skills, like swallowing his cum and getting fucked up her ass.
I had mixed feelings. She should have come out and told me. She knows I would have been pleased to let her fuck him. I would have even called him to let him know I was 100 percent OK with those two fucking. I feel betrayed and hurt. It's the secrecy that is hurtful. I jerk off thinking of those two fucking. I will sit my wife down and calmly let her know I am OK with this but want to be included.

[takemoment]

It is one thing for her to fuck him, but she should not be talking about you and should definitely not be ridiculing you sexually while she is having this affair. If it changes to a true cuckold arrangment, then discussing your lack of sex appeal and your inability to sexually satisfy her, it more acceptable.

[mywifeandhim]

It is kinda hard to give any advice since each couple is diferent but I was in your place, I would feel like that is cheating and not cuckolding. My wife has a lover too but I am always included in everything they do, even their chats. I never feel left aside.
I think the dialog is always the best option but since you mentioned that she is complaining about you to him, I feel like you are in a delicate situation.
Still, I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel and see if you can come up with a plan so you all have fun.

[D+D]

I can understand why you’re hurt but at the same time you’re getting off on this entire thing. Maybe you should just level with her and let her know that you suspect that she’s having a relationship and that it turns you on tremendously. See if she will confess her infidelity. If she doesn’t you will have a big decision to make, whether to say nothing or to tell her that actually know that she’s cheating with the preacher. She’s going to be angry that you invaded her privacy and looked in her phone. I love it when a preacher gets some of his congregation’s married pussy.

[patw3268]

That’s not okay. You have every reason to file divorce

[elina]

My wife is the church secretary. I have always wanted her to cuckold me, but she refused. I told her that when we got married, she had a hall pass. She never used it. My wife always liked alpha males, like jocks with hair on their chests. During our sex talks, she has said she is not attracted to black men. She isn't wired like that. We have always had mixed friends. Her church hired a single black preacher and six years different. His name is James. After a month, my wife started talking about James all the time. He was helping her with her low self-esteem and shyness. She began acting differently towards me and correcting me. Then she started guarding her phone. For the first time, I looked at her text messages and emails. James was complimenting her for standing up for herself towards me. My wife was complaining about me, and he was taking her side. Then she thanked him for the lunch date. Then he told her her kiss was terrific. He asked her if she could get away to his place. Tell your husband she was working on a church project. I remembered this. She told him she loved his body and had never had such good sex. He asked her not to be shy but to say the proper word "Fuck" instead of sex. After that, she would tell him she loved being fucked by him. He complimented them on her new skills, like swallowing his cum and getting fucked up her ass.
I had mixed feelings. She should have come out and told me. She knows I would have been pleased to let her fuck him. I would have even called him to let him know I was 100 percent OK with those two fucking. I feel betrayed and hurt. It's the secrecy that is hurtful. I jerk off thinking of those two fucking. I will sit my wife down and calmly let her know I am OK with this but want to be included.

Dear Surry,

I understand that you feel hurt.

On the other hand, you have given your WIfe a hall-pass, but She never used it (or at least She never told you before).

But looking at what you found on Her phone;
Is it possible to understand why She confessed to her new lover about Her struggles with you?
Is there maybe somehting you can do differently to encourage Her to share with you.

Your Wife after 30 years has used Her hallpass, She is changing in a way you have wanted Her to.
Now is the time to love Her and show Her how much you care.
Maybe if you confess you looked at Her phone and share your mixed emotions but emphasize that you now realize you may need to change to help Her enjoy Herself with Her new lover; maybe that will lead to a much better conversation than starting a quarrel with Her just focusing on how hurt you are?

Just my thoughts, you need to decide what approach you want to take.

Sincerely
elina

[4herpleasure89]

Sounds more like cheating than utilizing a hall pass. The unkind words seem to be her justification for actions. There is a lot we don’t know about your relationship but she clearly didn’t cuckold you in the sense that she wanted to give you both the experience you were looking for. She was stepping out from the marriage. Nothing acceptable to me here.

[elina]

......There is a lot we don’t know about your relationship .............

I fully agree with that part of your message.

Sincerely
elina

[JamesandAmie]

Hi,
I belive that you should feel hurt. There is a difference between hotwifing/cuckolding and cheating. She did not share it with you. You are not involved. Of course you play an important role in whatever relationship she gets into, after all she wants him but does not want to lose you. She is doing it for herself only. However, she is just in limerence and that could take anywhere from 1 - 4 years to die out and she will be back to you again. I don't know if you will still be there and that is what you should make clear. She cannot move in with the priest so she will be left without a chair when the music stops. I am in the same boat. I'm waiting for my post to be approved but it's similar and to know that you posted yours on July 17th 2024 and I found out about mine in July 16th 2024 is a rare coincidence. My wife is lying next to me but I don't touch her at all. So tell her that in time she could be the sole loser in her game and if that is what she wants. This is not enjoyable at all when you get left out.
Did you talk about setting boundaries and red lines?

[little sissy Benita]

We all play with the fire - the possibility that the wife falls in love is always there - if you are lucky the relationship will go in a different direction
I also had to decide and did not want to lose her - it is sometimes humiliating for me, but I chose a life as a little daughter and baby rather than losing her completely

litte Benita

[BBCfan]

Although my wife has a hall pass with an ex FWB if she wants it...if she lied to me and disrespected me that would be likely a game ender. Without honesty and respect what's the point of a partnership in my opinion.

You seem to be handling it quite well and it seems to be somewhat working so good for you.
Hope it evolves into something more respectful for you if that's indeed what you desire.

[trecital]

If you read the OP's post history then it seems like he has lived about 5 to 10 different lives!
There are many inconsistentcies and likely contradictions. Draw from it whatever conclusion you want.

[Cdncuck]

You got what you wanted and you aren't happy because it didn't go exactly as you planned. Doesn't your wife have a say in how it played out?
Count your blessings and tell her how much you appreciate her and appreciate her.

[JamesandAmie]

Did he get what he wanted?

I don't think so. There are certain boundaries and rules for these activities which must be respected. I found two that I hope I can share the links here.

In the literature, both partners are to agree of who, when, where, why, what, and how about hotwifing. The hubby must not be neglected emotionally. And although I'm not experienced, I belive that nothing that resembles betrayal should be discerned. Open communications between partners is crucial, especially for beginners.

Here is a link to one of them.
https://swingershelp.com/choosing-your-hotwife-rules/

And the next one is:
https://www.sdc.com/hotwifing-hotwife-how-to-guide/

[JamesandAmie]

Did he get what he wanted?

I don't think so. There are certain boundaries and rules for these activities which must be respected. I found two that I hope I can share the links here.

In the literature, both partners are to agree of who, when, where, why, what, and how about hotwifing. The hubby must not be neglected emotionally. And although I'm not experienced, I belive that nothing that resembles betrayal should be discerned. Open communications between partners is crucial, especially for beginners.

Here is a link to one of them.
https://swingershelp.com/choosing-your-hotwife-rules/

And the next one is:
https://www.sdc.com/hotwifing-hotwife-how-to-guide/

[surry]

UPDATE: It took a lot of talking and she admitted she loved him. I told her you know I always wanted you to cuckold me but not in secret. We talked a lot and I told her I wanted to be told and included. Show me text, have him call me to get you ready for him. Let him know I am 100 percent with him OK fucking you. You both can include me by including me in text and emails. I want to obey you and him. You two can use our home as a love nest. This way no one will find out. It will look like the three of us are good friends. James called me from my wife's office. On the speaker the three of us talked about the two of them being lovers. James made it clear since he is divorced and have no interest in getting married. He wants to use my wife as his fuck buddy. I will be included. Sometimes if I behave I can watch. Most of the time my duties will be getting her ready and our bedroom ready. I will be doing clean up. So far it is going great. James is a great guy and his dark skin against my wife's is awesome to see. No I have not sucked his dick. I wash it after, but my wife I use my mouth on her pussy. James said the first time he heard my wife tell me to clean up his mess. He did not think I would do it. He says my wife is his first white woman and I am his first cuck.

[stonemtncouple]

It is kinda hard to give any advice since each couple is diferent but I was in your place, I would feel like that is cheating and not cuckolding. My wife has a lover too but I am always included in everything they do, even their chats. I never feel left aside.
I think the dialog is always the best option but since you mentioned that she is complaining about you to him, I feel like you are in a delicate situation.
Still, I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel and see if you can come up with a plan so you all have fun.

Ditto

[elina]

Dear Surry

Thank you for a wonderful update.

It seems everything has worked out for the best for all three of you.
You have finally realized your dream of becoming your Wife's cuckold.
James has a wonderful Lady to satisfy his needs and is enjoying himself fucking your WIfe and increasingly also dominating you, he must be proud when he sees you eagerly cleaning the creampies He leaves in your Wife and then cleans his cock.
Your Wife has the sex She always craved and James is helping Her become more self-confident and dominant towards you.

I hope that all three of you will continue to develop and that you will not be shy in submitting to both Your New Black Master and to Your Wonderful Wife and now Cuckoldress.

Please keep us posted on how this evolves.

Sincerely
elina

[surry]

Dear Surry

Thank you for a wonderful update.

It seems everything has worked out for the best for all three of you.
You have finally realized your dream of becoming your Wife's cuckold.
James has a wonderful Lady to satisfy his needs and is enjoying himself fucking your WIfe and increasingly also dominating you, he must be proud when he sees you eagerly cleaning the creampies He leaves in your Wife and then cleans his cock.
Your Wife has the sex She always craved and James is helping Her become more self-confident and dominant towards you.

I hope that all three of you will continue to develop and that you will not be shy in submitting to both Your New Black Master and to Your Wonderful Wife and now Cuckoldress.

Please keep us posted on how this evolves.

Sincerely
elina

Thanks for your reply. My wife liked it and showed it to James. I guess us three are vanilla when it comes to this cuckold stuff. The three of us go out in case we meet someone. It will look like we are a normal couple. They fuck and my wife loves sucking him. Sometimes I watch but most times I undress my wife for his inspection. He wants to make sure I prepared her properly. While they have sex most times my wife has a list of choirs for me including refreshment and food. I stand by the bed side while they talk and ignore me. Then James will ask me what I want. I ask him if I can clean my wife and him up. First I get a warm wash cloth and clean his dick and balls and ass. Then I lick my wife clean, James will get excited when I do this and they will fuck again.
We never thought of having a black master and my wife is a Cuckoldress. We like this idea. James and my wife are going to discuss it. My dark secret is James moves in and I get put in the guest bedroom. I want to serve them both and I want James to put a ring on her finger and make me sell her wedding ring and give him the money. But I am to chicken to do this. I have discussed with them what happens if my wife gets pregnant. James laughed and said everyone will know you are not a man and we laughed at this.

[elina]

Dear Surry,

Thanks for your reply.

It looks to me as the three of you may still be somewhat inexperienced when it gets to the cuckold stuff, but to me it sounds like all of you are way past what you can call "vanilla".

Your Wife taking a lover, Her lover demanding that you prepare Her for fucking him, then demands that you undress Her for his inspection, Your Wife giving you a list of chores for you to attend to while She is enjoying Her lover before you are permitted to ask Her lover to be allowed to eat the creampie from Your Wifes pussy; that is absolutely not vanilla.

That the three of you look like a normal married couple bringing along a friend when going out is very normal also for cuckold couples.

I am glad to hear that Your WIfe and Cuckoldress and Her Bull-lover will discuss the idea of James being the black Master and Your Wife starting to think of Herself as a cuckoldress, well, looks to me like you may soon have everything you dreamed about and maybe more?

Please keep us posted.

Sincerely
elina

[Rip_isback]

This started out as a pretty scary situation. With proper communication, it sounds like it is turning awesome. Please be sure to give us regular updates. Have fun.