We're totally honest but I still want her to cheat

[OZCPL]

We’ve talked about this. Then fucked about this. We have agreed - She is “allowed” to fuck around behind my back all she wants. As long as she comes clean to me about it.

We have yet to make this a reality.

It may be already a reality, would you find that hot.

You don't say if she has to tell you about her sexy fun, with other men, by any particular time. I find when a sexy wife plays the cheating game they prefer to keep it a secret for a little time. They also often like to be the one making the decision on, if her lover will deposit his fertile seed inside her lusty body.

Has she had other lovers since your marriage, do you have any kids, Does she sometimes date openly.

Thanks

[SunAngel]

Catching my wife cheating was what led us into this lifestyle. It might sound hot but the initial reactions were a mixed bag. It's different than talking about it and agreeing that she can go fuck other guys. Now that she does go fuck around, the part that turns me on is the other guy not knowing that I know about it, thinking the whole time that she's really cheating on me.

[Sexycouple44]

I bring this up to her on occasion but she is terrible with secrets. She gets turned on knowing how hot the after sex will be and let's cat out of the bag before it happens. Not that this is totally a bad thing. But I do wish one day she would go out and hook up and then play me to see if I could guess she had cheated. I know she would tell me if I did not find out but the thought of her cheating is also super hot. Waiting to see if this actually ever happens.

[CuckoldBoy89]

I LOVE being cheated on. Since I divorced my ex wife (who cheated a lot of times) I dated 4 women and found some evidence 2 of them cheated on me. Loved it. Ironically I been on the opposite side too about 3 times, usually messing around with women from tinder or one was a coworker, they would start dating but continue seeing me but just less often. One time a women was getting a phone call from her BF, she didn't answer and about 30 minutes later she was sucking me off. Her phone rang again on the table right beside us and she ignored it and kept sucking, giving me eye contact and I came in her mouth as the phone was vibrating on the little side table. It was an amazing feeling.

After I came she quickly put her bra and shirt on and ean into the bathroom with her phone calling him. She felt bad about it and I never saw her again. But was worth it for me lol

I guess I am a cuck and a bull

[CuckoldBoy89]

I LOVE being cheated on. Since I divorced my ex wife (who cheated a lot of times) I dated 4 women and found some evidence 2 of them cheated on me. Loved it. Ironically I been on the opposite side too about 3 times, usually messing around with women from tinder or one was a coworker, they would start dating but continue seeing me but just less often. One time a women was getting a phone call from her BF, she didn't answer and about 30 minutes later she was sucking me off. Her phone rang again on the table right beside us and she ignored it and kept sucking, giving me eye contact and I came in her mouth as the phone was vibrating on the little side table. It was an amazing feeling.

After I came she quickly put her bra and shirt on and ean into the bathroom with her phone calling him. She felt bad about it and I never saw her again. But was worth it for me lol

I guess I am a cuck and a bull

[nottscuck]

Catching my wife cheating was what led us into this lifestyle. It might sound hot but the initial reactions were a mixed bag. It's different than talking about it and agreeing that she can go fuck other guys. Now that she does go fuck around, the part that turns me on is the other guy not knowing that I know about it, thinking the whole time that she's really cheating on me.

Exactly the same for us as to how it all started and like you it was difficult for a while , well it took a year or so to level out .
Now she has a regular BF who knows i know , and an occasional one who doesn't know i know and that is such a feeling . When he is visiting town and i am home , we go out together and they pretend nothing is happening and alll behave , but when i am away working and he visits .. different story !

With her reg BF she doesn't always tell me she is seeing him until afterwards , i usually pick on on the signs though , but wait to be told !

[isinlarsa]

My relationship with my first girlfriend after my first marriage ended went through several phases, but one of the earliest was when she cheated. It wasn't something that she planned, but was spontaneous, which made it hotter (in my mind). She was on a business trip, and went out with a group of her co-workers. A younger man who worked in a different office spent the evening pursuing her. At first she blew him off, but later in the evening she became intrigued. He successfully talked her into bed, and they spent the night fucking.

When she got home she didn't tell me what happened at first, and was concerned that I would notice a whisker burn on her chin from a lot of kissing they indulged in. I didn't noticed. However she considered herself a bit of a writer, and she wrote an account of her tryst. While I was baby-sitting her kids during a subsequent business trip she had, I discovered her journal and read about how she had gotten fucked on the earlier trip, I found it turned me on, and I ended up masturbating several times while re-reading her vivid description of how she got fucked. After that I was kept "hot and bothered" every time she went on a trip, hoping she would have additional sexual experiences. I never confronted her with my knowledge of her infidelity.

After some time, she confessed to me. I acted like I didn't know, but I did tell her I found it hot that she had opened her body to another man. We agreed if the opportunity arose, she should allow herself to be seduced during her business trips. On the other hand, she told me that she couldn't abide me being with other women. That was our arrangement for a long time, which was okay with me, because I found it so hot that she would respond to other men's advances.

[desertsub]

Both of my wives cheated on me before they openly cuckolded me. My first wife cheated on me and I never confronted her about it, I just accepted it and I actually masturbated after she did it, thinking about her fucking another guy. That was when I figured out that her fucking someone else turned me on. I didn't even know there was a name for it! She later on openly cuckolded me with my sister's ex-husband, who was also my best friend at the time.

My second wife cheated on me before we were even married, we had been living together for about a year and I caught her with another guy. She knew that my first wife had cuckolded me, and within the first two years of our marriage she started cuckolding me too and has been doing so off and on ever since.

[mfm4bnc]

My wife cheated on me when we were dating (and she did not need too, as I had told her I did not expect monogamy at that point). She cheated on her ex-husband. Now that we are married, she gets mad at me if I even fantasize about it. My hottest sexual experience ever was dropping by her house and hearing her inside with another guy... So wish we could repeat that!

[JeffCA]

This is a great thread. Keep up the great work, hopeful husbands!

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum JeffCA.

[tractorman2]

I would like my wife to find herself a lover, she knows this. I would enjoy the senario and the kink of knowing and perhaps never meeting him, though id like to see them together if only somewhere public. However and its a big however whilst i would accept her having a lover, i would divorce her if she didnt tell me and i found out. She doesnt have to lie and its my pet hate.

I am her cuck husband not a mug.

[LongTermHubby]

My wife is free to take lovers but we have an agreement that she will tell me before it happens or if that is not possible, as soon as she can after it happens.

[Wls77]

My wife (soon to be ex) cheated on me for a long time. I knew fairly early on, but kept the fact that i knew hidden for almost two years. When she did eventually find out that i knew, she finished the affair immediately. I then pretty much begged her to carry on, which is the point where it all started to go downhill.

Very fine lines.

[drstrangelove]

You can read my story (Not A Cuckold…), but the bottom line is to be careful what you wish for. I spent several years lusting for my wife to have an affair—I was purposely an inadequate lover and became entirely submissive in the bedroom. A part of me never thought she’d cheat though. Then I discovered her affair and it destroyed my world.

Sexually, it was all I ever would have wished for, but there’s a massive difference between a consensual cuckold relationship and your wife potentially falling out of love with you and sleeping around behind your back.

It is *critical* that you have open and honest communication with each other—and if you find that even marginally difficult, I recommend couples therapy.

It’s not a one-player game.

[Bobs52]

My wife had my complete permission and encouragement to have sex with other men, the only rule was she just had to tell me about it after the fact. She didn’t react poorly when I first told her of my fantasy, but she was like “sure, whatever” with respect to her hall pass.

After many years of her having the hall pass, I was pretty sure nothing would ever come of it.

Then one night I discovered something quite by accident that convinced me she was fucking someone. I was a little surprised by it, but also very excited. I ran across the evidence late at night after she had gone to bed. When I went to bed that night, I didn’t want to wake her in the middle of the night, but I was so incredibly turned on by it, that I just laid next to her and jacked off to a very intense orgasm.

In the morning (I don’t think I slept at all) I woke her trying to have sex with her, to which she was usually receptive. As we were getting started, I told her “I know about Stephen, and I’m fine with it”. As this sunk in, she shot back “We never went through with it. I know the rules!” (Meaning if they would have done it she would have told me). She admitted that they did indeed try to do so on three occasions over the summer, but for one reason or another they all fell through. Then she got pissed at me for snooping and the whole thing fell apart and I’m sure she did not pursue it further with him or with anyone else since.

To this day I’m not convinced whether it happened or not, but I wish I would have played things differently and not said anything. Knowing who it was and how it was happening would have allowed me to say ambiguous but encouraging things to get things to progress and continue.

If I could go back in time I would have kept it to myself at that moment and then maybe at dinner one day casually say something along the lines of “You know, I got to thinking about that hall pass you have. If I want you to you to have complete control of your own sexuality, it’s unfair of me to expect an accounting of events. I hope you one day get a chance to enjoy having the pass, but anything you choose to do can just stay between you and your lover. You don’t have to tell me a thing unless you want to.”

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

I picked up early on that my husband wanted me to cheat, then tell him after, and add some mystery to my hotwifing. It was a game if he could tell if I'd cheated.. missing time, finding me with hickeys, dried cum on my tits, creampies. Once we went to his work Christmas party, and he had to guess which one of his co-workers I had fucked (it was his boss!).

[Colliercuck]

My wife did this for over a year with a guy. I found out about a month into it but she always denied it. She’d cone home with cum stained panties, I’d find dried cum on her legs, didn’t matter. She’d act like I was crazy lol. Eventually one day we were looking at her phone together when a text popped up saying, “I can’t wait to tie you up again and cum in that pussy like I did yesterday.” No really getting out of that one huh? I was so turned on. After we talked about it I immediately undressed her and had incredibly hot sex with her.

that would be in my top ten list

I used to find huge cum stains in my wife’s panties, I didn’t say anything, but she found a picture I took of one, it was huge and crusty
She was pissed , wanted to know whose panties, I explained they were hers, then she wanted to know why the picture, I explained it turned me to see the cum stain, she denied it, said it was her natural secretion…………..no fucking way.
Years later, she had a 9 month affair, found the texts and pictures on her phone.
I wasn’t snooping, but got intrigued when her girlfriends text said she had to take a piss, just seemed odd to her friend talk like that.
When I opened it, it was obvious it was not a girlfriend, and that they had been pretty busy.
But it turned me on, I had been asking her to cuckold me for over 15, at the time

[Parsifal]

Cheating and hotwifing play to different dynamics. Though both are outlets for a wife's pent up need for sexual variety, the essence of hotwifing is the wife’s complete transparency, which facilitates communal sharing of new relationship energies with her husband. Affairs, on the other hand, are the antithesis of transparency; it is deceitful; and new relationship energy is hidden from the husband and shared only within the affair.

So what benefit can an affair serve to the primary relationship? My wife and I are a hotwifing couple who have come to understand elements of the affair dynamic that can be integrated within a marriage and play to the kink of her having cheating wife experiences and me living within a constantly edgy, uncertain, mystery space of knowing she might be having an affair but never really knowing until she surfaces to "confess" and restore full honesty and transparency to our relationship. In addition to the foundation of deep trust and love required to play this kind of advanced hotwifing game, there are two aspects of the marriage vows that need to be renegotiated.

First, since affairs have to happen in secret, there has to be allowance for deceit to occur "safely," meaning it's understood by the couple that she will lie to cover her tracks just as she would if she were breaking her vows. The point of it for her is to heighten her sense of naughtiness by lying and cheating and keeping it all a secret from her husband, to have a private, slutty space in which she can feel fully free of the sometimes oppressive overfamiliarity with her husband that even hotwifing can't eliminate because of its insistence on hyper-transparency. So, Element One of an affair game is to eliminate transparency in favor of mystery by redefining deceit for that purpose from a mortal sin against the marriage to a venial sin. Venial sins are forgivable.

Second, there is no real affair, even as a game, without a risk of getting caught, or without the atonement of a full confession. For the wife, part of the thrill of lying and cheating is the danger of discovery and the consequences thereof. In my marriage, when we undertake these games, it is understood that while deceit we understand to be an integral part of the game is not a deal-breaker, it remains a venial sin with consequences. She understands that if I catch her there will be a price for her to pay that she might not entirely like - for example, I might have a revenge fuck with another woman, something I already feel yearnings for but which she's not especially open to allow absent her needing an expatiatiatory release. Another form of penance for her would be to indulge my desire to go on a lifestyle cruise, in which she would be expected to have short term slutty encounters in my presence. In short, Element Two of an affair game requires her having real skin in the game, enough to motivate her to cover her tracks just as if were doing it for real and not as part of an elaborate, simulated role play.

I share the sentiment here of "still wanting her to cheat" because I find the erotic distancing it adds to our marriage is conducive to the mystery of a new relationship, which in turn attracts me to her in ways that are otherwise lost due to overfamiliarity. I don't want to replace the transparency of regular hotwifing with an exclusively don't ask-don't tell arrangement, but I do like her having affairs that are bracketed by a mutually understood context for us to satisfy those different needs as well.

[Parsifal]

One way to look at it is that an affair is an inevitable phase of many marriages, and this inevitability often exists independently of the quality of the marriage. In other words, people who love each other and are fundamentally happy in their marriages will stray. I would digress here to explain all of the permutations of this, so I'll stick to the point of this thread, which is a commentary on the seeming paradox created by the high level of transparency which characterizes cuckholding relationships and a hotwife's sometimes hidden desire for illicit secrecy that a husband in a transparent marriage can sense of his hotwife. It's so strange to think that wives who are allowed extramarital sexual connections in full view of their encouraging husbands would still want to cheat on such accommodating husbands, yet some do. And when we husbands sense that those yearnings in our wives, it can strongly arouse us, which on its face seems even more counterintuitive.

This gets back to my comment above about the dichotomy of overfamiliarity, which can suppress eroticism, and mystery and danger, which for some people enhances it. Affairs even in a hotwifing relationship are emotionally "logical" because too much transparency can undermine a facet of eroticism that a hotwife will miss and yearn for. The challenge for the couple is to create a structure in which an affair can be both dangerous enough to rekindle mystery but not so dangerous as to destroy the foundations of the primary relationship. My wife and I have developed such a structure.

[Luv2SucknSwallowFEM]

Early into our relationship my husband was always asking me about how many men I had fucked, how many cocks sucked, anal etc. He was obsessed with every detail and would get incredibly aroused when I told him. The more I told him of my past and things I did the more he liked it. He asked me if I had ever cheated, but before I could answer (I was going to say NO because I didn't want to look bad) he stopped me and said "I need to know if you have... I will tell you, if it's yes... I get off on it". So I told him. I cheated on every boyfriend.
The sex that night was intense, him making me confess everytime I cheated while we fucked. The more I told him, the harder he got.

Eventually through numerous conversations he told me about his first two girlfriends, both of whom he fell in love with and both of whom cheated on him. Back then he said it was devastating. It hurt so bad he wanted to die. It created enormous anxiety for him and he refused to date for 5 yrs because of the fear of being hurt like that again. That's how he got into swinging, he could explore sex and never be at risk emotionally. The people he met were couples and he was their young Buck. He would meet both of them and then take the wife to a hotel while the husband went home.
He said the sex was mind blowing and the women (4 in total with one being 5 repeats) were so turned on an into it he had never had sex like that before.
He's never been able to fully explain why he loves encouraging me, telling me or finding me men to fuck other than "I have complete control". For him, the thing that affected him the most was how those girlfriends had stripped him of all control... all of his right to choose... he gave no consent and that made him feel powerless. They stripped him of his masculinity. By letting me or telling me to fuck other men... he's protecting himself against being cheated on.

Recently he has sent me out to fuck another man. Someone I was already chatting with online. I got caught looking, but I wasn't really intending to cheat... I just loved the thrill of the chat. He found the chats by complete accident and said he jacked off four times to the nastiness of our conversation. He insisted that I now fuck this man - told me he would be disappointed if I didn't. That actually turned me on more.
So he went onto the chat and pretended to be me... and made a date with this guy. He told me this after we had gone to a swingclub (where he also shared me with another man). The one thing he was insistent on was I had to tell this other man I was cheating on my husband, so he could get off on fucking a married woman and thinking it was behind his back. I have to tell you this was so incredibly hot when we hooked up.
To say I fed off of that energy is an understatement!!!
I was so worked up and insatiable I would have fucked 20 guys that day behind my husbands back.

When I returned to hubby afterwards he was so turned on we fucked for hours... he never seemed to stop. I was so sore afterwards. And all he wanted to know - asking me over and over again was "did it feel like you were cheating on me... did you like it... did the other guy fuck you harder because he thought your were cheating"?

I'm still trying to figure all this out.
It's very complex.
All I know is that pretend cheating got me off so much I want to do it again and again... have these other men think I am this horrible cheating wife. It's pushed me to a dangerous precipice I have to admit and makes me wonder is my husband trying to get me to cheat on him.
I'm struggling to navigate it...

[cpeater]

This is one of my most arousing fantasies/realities.

[Parsifal]

Early into our relationship my husband was always asking me about how many men I had fucked, how many cocks sucked, anal etc. He was obsessed with every detail and would get incredibly aroused when I told him. The more I told him of my past and things I did the more he liked it. He asked me if I had ever cheated, but before I could answer (I was going to say NO because I didn't want to look bad) he stopped me and said "I need to know if you have... I will tell you, if it's yes... I get off on it". So I told him. I cheated on every boyfriend.
The sex that night was intense, him making me confess everytime I cheated while we fucked. The more I told him, the harder he got.

Eventually through numerous conversations he told me about his first two girlfriends, both of whom he fell in love with and both of whom cheated on him. Back then he said it was devastating. It hurt so bad he wanted to die. It created enormous anxiety for him and he refused to date for 5 yrs because of the fear of being hurt like that again. That's how he got into swinging, he could explore sex and never be at risk emotionally. The people he met were couples and he was their young Buck. He would meet both of them and then take the wife to a hotel while the husband went home.
He said the sex was mind blowing and the women (4 in total with one being 5 repeats) were so turned on an into it he had never had sex like that before.
He's never been able to fully explain why he loves encouraging me, telling me or finding me men to fuck other than "I have complete control". For him, the thing that affected him the most was how those girlfriends had stripped him of all control... all of his right to choose... he gave no consent and that made him feel powerless. They stripped him of his masculinity. By letting me or telling me to fuck other men... he's protecting himself against being cheated on.

Recently he has sent me out to fuck another man. Someone I was already chatting with online. I got caught looking, but I wasn't really intending to cheat... I just loved the thrill of the chat. He found the chats by complete accident and said he jacked off four times to the nastiness of our conversation. He insisted that I now fuck this man - told me he would be disappointed if I didn't. That actually turned me on more.
So he went onto the chat and pretended to be me... and made a date with this guy. He told me this after we had gone to a swingclub (where he also shared me with another man). The one thing he was insistent on was I had to tell this other man I was cheating on my husband, so he could get off on fucking a married woman and thinking it was behind his back. I have to tell you this was so incredibly hot when we hooked up.
To say I fed off of that energy is an understatement!!!
I was so worked up and insatiable I would have fucked 20 guys that day behind my husbands back.

When I returned to hubby afterwards he was so turned on we fucked for hours... he never seemed to stop. I was so sore afterwards. And all he wanted to know - asking me over and over again was "did it feel like you were cheating on me... did you like it... did the other guy fuck you harder because he thought your were cheating"?

I'm still trying to figure all this out.
It's very complex.

This is among of the most insightful posts I've read here.

This one: "By letting me or telling me to fuck other men... he's protecting himself against being cheated on."

This psychological mechanism is a work with lots of husbands of hotwives - libidinizing fear of abandonment. The pain of that loss is so unbearable that the only way for some men to cope with the mere anxiety it causes is to sublimate it into something correspondingly pleasurable. It is related to BDSM - where pain and punishment are sublimated into pleasure and reward.

All I know is that pretend cheating got me off so much I want to do it again and again... have these other men think I am this horrible cheating wife. It's pushed me to a dangerous precipice I have to admit and makes me wonder is my husband trying to get me to cheat on him.
I'm struggling to navigate it...

You've discovered power of erotic distancing from your spouse. For you and your husband, you being on that dangerous precipice is but a means for adding suspense and mystery to your marriage. Your affairs are also restorative to him. He can relive the trauma of abandonment in a safe space and there within libidinize his fear of abandonment by you.

[little sissy Benita]

Well, i don´t like the word slave - the same is when the HW called slut or so - but this is only my own opinion.

She is living with her new african husband together in the house, that´s is it. And yes, she was pregnant by him too.

I was never a slave or so - i am a sissy baby and need to be treat as a baby and of course i act as a baby too.

When she started meeting Africans, I wasn't there - it wasn't easy because she didn't always tell me everything - I didn't know most of the African lovers - and I didn't get to know her new African husband until much later. As a cuckold, you're playing with fire - but if you don't know the lovers at all, you're sitting in the middle of the fire

little Benita

[Luv2SucknSwallowFEM]

[/quote] by parsifal
This is among of the most insightful posts I've read here.
This one: "By letting me or telling me to fuck other men... he's protecting himself against being cheated on."
This psychological mechanism is a work with lots of husbands of hotwives - libidinizing fear of abandonment. The pain of that loss is so unbearable that the only way for some men to cope with the mere anxiety it causes is to sublimate it into something correspondingly pleasurable. It is related to BDSM - where pain and punishment are sublimated into pleasure and reward.
All I know is that pretend cheating got me off so much I want to do it again and again... have these other men think I am this horrible cheating wife. It's pushed me to a dangerous precipice I have to admit and makes me wonder is my husband trying to get me to cheat on him.
I'm struggling to navigate it...
You've discovered power of erotic distancing from your spouse. For you and your husband, you being on that dangerous precipice is but a means for adding suspense and mystery to your marriage. Your affairs are also restorative to him. He can relive the trauma of abandonment in a safe space and there within libidinize his fear of abandonment by you.
[/quote]

I agree with those conclusions, but there is something more to it I am coming to terms with... trying to figure out.
It requires further revelations, which are something not easy for me to talk about because I do feel vulnerable and I do carry some guilt.
This thread is very important. Whether Stag/vixen, cuckold, wife-swapping, swinging or whatever... there is a correlation to infidelity that plays into all of these open lifestyles. Each has it's own nuance and psychology involved. Books could be written on each dynamic.

I had a very early exposure to sex. I make no qualms about that heavily influencing what I respond to sexually. Every form of sexual contact I experienced throughout my life was always directed at me. There was exploitation, manipulation, objectification and all in various forms. As my sexuality developed I experienced nothing that placed me in a position of power or pursuit. I never "crushed" on boys I was around, I ALWAYS crushed on the boys who desired me. I have never hit on or come onto any male in my life. I respond to them seeking me, and the more aggressive, sexual or direct they are the more it arouses me. I was always the prey - never the predator.
As a result, sex that is most arousing to me - in fact it's the only sex that truly fulfills me... is when I am the target, the object of desire.
I love to be hunted.... and I LOVE being exploited, used, taken, shared.
I crave absolute relentless hardcore sexual use. I will go for hours an hours regardless of the state of my body if the men still need it. I want them to use me, I need t know they have satisfied themselves with me.
I can't make love, never have as far as I know.

If a man approaches me with small talk and is being a gentleman, not being sexually aggressive... I can't respond sexually, it's a turn off. I appreciate and truly admire him for being so respectful, I will certainly give him multiple chances LOL, but what I respond to is the man who is really putting it out there, he's being blunt about what he wants, looking me up and down, leering at me... even touching me without consent.
That's when I have no resistance.
I have hooked up for no other reason than being told "Let's fuck."
I am a very poor example for feminism and the Me Too movement. I'll fully accept the criticism, but I can't help what I like and respond to.
I don't consider myself submissive because I don't obey or follow orders (unless they are sexual). I can be utterly Dominated during sex, but not outside of it.

So what's my point to all this?

I cheated on every man I have ever been with.
I have never been faithful in any past relationship with the exception of my husband - but only after we were married 5 yrs ago. Prior to that I never imagined we would get married and until our third year together I didn't think we would last. So the first two years together I was still in my typical pattern of cheating. So once he started sharing me with other men, the cheating stopped.
I never sought out sex with other people. Not in the sense of approaching people for it, instead I would dress up and just put myself out there to see who would bite. I guess I was going "fishing" - I loved being the bait and I always caught a fish. I honestly don't think I have had sex with any man who didn't pursue me. It is an overwhelming instinctual response I have to simply let them have what they want...to let them be a man.
They need to fuck, they want to fuck me... I let them fuck!!!
I am utterly lost in the pleasure a man experiences in having his woman and satisfying himself with her.

When I was in relationships I could only remain faithful by avoiding contact with other men. I went to great lengths to try and be the good girlfriend who never cheated. I tried, I always tried. I started every relationship thinking "Not this time, this time I'll be good". Eventually however, I'm around other males and we all know "Men will be Men". I'd get hit on my pussy would just throb... I'd see guys checking me out and I'd get wet... if someone presented the opportunity I almost always took it.
The times I was single, especially my early 20's... holy fuck!!!
There was so much sex my memories seem like a tornado of cock and pussy spinning around my head.

When my husband shares me I feel more like a woman than at any other time, because my instinct sexually is to be the source of pleasure for men.
This new kink of "pretend cheating" is screaming inside me... for the first time in my life I am craving going after men and enticing them into joining this "cheating wife". I want to seduce them, hunt them down and lure them into my lair.
The power is not that I want to be in control... it's that my husband still has control by telling me to do this dirty thing and I am now exploiting these other men.
I love how degrading it makes me feel... it's another level of sexual objectification I am getting off on.
And I cannot escape the realization that what I am doing and what I crave is so counter to everything our society says is the problem with how women are seen and treated - as objects.
I'm re-enforcing so many stereotypes and misogynistic attitudes I feel guilty around my friends (some of whom are die-hard feminists) and my family who are very serious Liberals of the "woke" mindset. I can't imagine what they would think to know that I love to be shared and have my holes turned out by men who want nothing but to fuck women.

In the final analysis though... the real thought of what is getting me off in all this is so basic.
I love being shared... because if I wasn't I would cheat.
I cheated because... I wanted to be shared.

My husband shared me and told me to tell the other men I was cheating on him.
The guy I "pretend cheated" with felt empowered and loved that he was taking another mans wife.

I loved experiencing and seeing his pleasure from what he thought was true.

I want my husband to tell me to go out and find men to seduce and have them think they are having an affair.

I don't want permission... I'm fantasizing about cheating... to make the "pretend" feel real.

I think my husband is trying to get me to cheat on him.

I think he see's who I am and what I instinctively want and he has reached another level of deep psychological sexual manipulation to make me see it.

Fucking hot!!!