Why I don't like the cuckold community

[Wisher]

People leave without really leaving. They dramatically reduce their post count and resort to only reading a few threads. There can be any number of reasons for doing so. The site not taking action against a member who openly boasts about activity with minors is one.

[FNQLivin]

I remember your story, it was quite the tale. What happened in your relationship to end it?

[theothercuck]

I remember your story, it was quite the tale. What happened in your relationship to end it?

She put on weight during the pandemic, and I cheated. After 12 years of her fucking other men, she left me because I did it once with another woman.

[coastalkid]

I remember your story, it was quite the tale. What happened in your relationship to end it?

She put on weight during the pandemic, and I cheated. After 12 years of her fucking other men, she left me because I did it once with another woman.

I'm sorry that things turned out the way it did. This example is just one more reason the cuckold community is difficult to embrace. Even if the story is totally believable it still is associated with blind acceptance of obvious hypocrisy. As in your case, a wife that went 12 years of having sex with multiple partners and you do it once and it's over.

I'm sure many will invoke the, "It was his idea! I just did what he wanted!" Then they will say what you did was cheating and that's different. But, if you enter into your lifestyle and "her" freedom to do as she pleases changes into something different than the initial agreement, isn't that "different" too! If you had an initial rule of "whatever" and it gets unilaterally changed or broken isn't that different too?

I can't recall your original story but the part that seems hypocritical is the amount of forgiveness/leeway given a wife isn't comparable to the amount of forgiveness/leeway afforded a husband. Husbands are not supposed to let jealousy get in the way of a hot wife's pleasure and a wife's jealousy is an accepted and understandable trait. Wives are allowed to have full authority and husbands are expected to adhere to ANY restriction that the wife capriciously comes up with.

While the inconsistencies are mind boggling, the other accepted progression of reduced sexual attention, to denial, to full time chastity, to humiliation and creampie cleaning, to becoming "pussy free", to becoming bisexual is every bit as mind boggling. It's been reported here so many times it is seen as normal and not unusual.

I freely admit that not ALL cuckold relationships are like this. I will say that the bias I have came from this site and what I've read here. There are a handful of posts from couples that I believe do not use "The Cuckold Playbook". They are much more practical and sensitive to each other. They don't shy away from reality. They didn't lose their sense of what is reasonable just because their sexual dynamic changed.

Are you divorced now? Do you think you'll seek out another cuckold type relationship?

[FNQLivin]

There is a huge difference between consensual non monogamy and a secret affair. That the reason seemed to be she’d gained weight seems a little unfair as well. I assume that there was a lot more to it than that and the affair and the weight were just triggers.

As for the rest of the cuckold community and the tales told, I am sure some are just pure fantasy, some are real but embellished and others are truthful. Unless we are there, then none of us know for sure.

[coastalkid]

There is a huge difference between consensual non monogamy and a secret affair. That the reason seemed to be she’d gained weight seems a little unfair as well. I assume that there was a lot more to it than that and the affair and the weight were just triggers.

As for the rest of the cuckold community and the tales told, I am sure some are just pure fantasy, some are real but embellished and others are truthful. Unless we are there, then none of us know for sure.

Complete agreement on all points.

[D+D]

All of this is easy to fix….just don’t read it. It really makes one a little hesitant to post when you may be accused of fabricating the truth. I’m not on this forum much anymore but I started reading here I think 13 years ago. I just observed and finally convinced my wife to try it. I learned a lot about the lifestyle and I learned from the mistakes of others. I didn’t start out considering myself a cuckold but I do things and I am into things that I never ever dreamed that I would do. Some of the things I questioned early on, I’ve experienced. It has been a lot of fun. I might add, things can happen pretty fast sometimes and sometimes not fast enough. We were always trying new things when it began to get boring. Lots of things and lots of different men for Debbie. We still have some things left on our bucket list but we’re running out of time. I’m 73 and Debbie is 73.

[theothercuck]

I'm sorry that things turned out the way it did. This example is just one more reason the cuckold community is difficult to embrace. Even if the story is totally believable it still is associated with blind acceptance of obvious hypocrisy. As in your case, a wife that went 12 years of having sex with multiple partners and you do it once and it's over.

I don't think there's anything hypocritical about it at all. We both agreed to parameters, to rules, that guide our relationship. I accepted a half-open marriage. Is that fair? What is fair? Is it sameness?

I don't think so. We used to split the household chores evenly. If I were sick one week, she would do the dishes for me, she would do the majority of the chores that week. Is that fair? Of course, because it's a bigger burden on me than it is her to do the majority of the chores that week. It would be unfair if our chores were split evenly.

What about a half-open marriage? I'm not bothered by jealousy, or insecurity. She is. I'm comfortable with her having a guy on the side, she was uncomfortable with me having a woman on the side. It would be unfair to have equal boundaries for each other.

When she had sex with other men, it wasn't cheating. It wasn't going outside the rules. When I had sex with another woman, it was cheating. If I kissed another woman on the lips, it would be cheating. Those are the boundaries we agreed to based on our jealousy tolerances.

Is it hypocritical on her part? Maybe. Most cuckolding is in that category. If the husband accepts the double standard, without manipulation or coercion, the wife can have her cake and eat it too.

[sandy691196]

I remember your story, it was quite the tale. What happened in your relationship to end it?

She put on weight during the pandemic, and I cheated. After 12 years of her fucking other men, she left me because I did it once with another woman.

Sad..

Still, I have once been in a relationship with a cuck queen. We swung a lot .. did MFM a lot. I have this partner watching fetish.
But I once gave her hell (and myself hell) over something she did in the past, before meeting me.. and had lied to / hidden it from me..

We were on vacation.. She wanted to get a cab.. buy a ticket and fly back home- alone!

We worked through it. Went for a local sight seeing trip the next day (she in a pink, tightish short dress and white panties, which got flashed to onlookers when getting out of the cab en route to the port! )..

And the next day had a planned 3 some (me mostly watching) with a 21 yr old located through a dating ad site!

Sometimes truth is rather strange eh!?

[coastalkid]

All of this is easy to fix….just don’t read it. It really makes one a little hesitant to post when you may be accused of fabricating the truth. I’m not on this forum much anymore but I started reading here I think 13 years ago. I just observed and finally convinced my wife to try it. I learned a lot about the lifestyle and I learned from the mistakes of others. I didn’t start out considering myself a cuckold but I do things and I am into things that I never ever dreamed that I would do. Some of the things I questioned early on, I’ve experienced. It has been a lot of fun. I might add, things can happen pretty fast sometimes and sometimes not fast enough. We were always trying new things when it began to get boring. Lots of things and lots of different men for Debbie. We still have some things left on our bucket list but we’re running out of time. I’m 73 and Debbie is 73.

I don't read every thread specifically because I'm not interested in the extremes. I simply do as you suggest, I don't read them. And yes, there's a lot of "calling out" when things get difficult to believe. I know that people are different and some situations are unimaginable but true. I simply lose interest (and I don't read) when it gets too far away from what I like as my own personal bias.

I can see how "living" the lifestyle would lead to gravitating away from forums like this and others. Learning first hand is always more potent than learning in theory. This site may be far from perfect but there are some perfect parts to it. I guess it's not much different than a public library. You don't read everything there either.

[coastalkid]

I'm sorry that things turned out the way it did. This example is just one more reason the cuckold community is difficult to embrace. Even if the story is totally believable it still is associated with blind acceptance of obvious hypocrisy. As in your case, a wife that went 12 years of having sex with multiple partners and you do it once and it's over.

I don't think there's anything hypocritical about it at all. We both agreed to parameters, to rules, that guide our relationship. I accepted a half-open marriage. Is that fair? What is fair? Is it sameness?

I don't think so. We used to split the household chores evenly. If I were sick one week, she would do the dishes for me, she would do the majority of the chores that week. Is that fair? Of course, because it's a bigger burden on me than it is her to do the majority of the chores that week. It would be unfair if our chores were split evenly.

What about a half-open marriage? I'm not bothered by jealousy, or insecurity. She is. I'm comfortable with her having a guy on the side, she was uncomfortable with me having a woman on the side. It would be unfair to have equal boundaries for each other.

When she had sex with other men, it wasn't cheating. It wasn't going outside the rules. When I had sex with another woman, it was cheating. If I kissed another woman on the lips, it would be cheating. Those are the boundaries we agreed to based on our jealousy tolerances.

Is it hypocritical on her part? Maybe. Most cuckolding is in that category. If the husband accepts the double standard, without manipulation or coercion, the wife can have her cake and eat it too.

You make a good point. What is fair? In a broad sense I would think "fair" is an agreed thing and not something defined unilaterally. In your specific situation you both agreed and were happy with the boundaries you set in place. As you said, "I'm not bothered by jealousy, or insecurity." Not being bothered is the key. If you're not bothered, it is inconsequential to you.

My wife and I both married young. We both had the same careers as classroom teachers. We had nearly identical professional responsibilities. We had almost the exact same wages (she started a year before me). We had equal distribution of labor and responsibility at home. All I've ever known in my life has been on an equal level with no regard to being male or female. "Fairness" has been an unspoken reality and obviously created a bias in me.

I also have no doubt that the men that respond with, "I get my pleasure from seeing her happy!" are genuine. Those men are getting what they want and expect from it so, everyone is happy and satisfied. There's a huge difference in being denied equality and not wanting (or needing) equality.

[Dutchpride7]

I've been an on again off again cuckold since 2009. It started a year previously, when my ex-wife was in a shortfilm and had to kiss another guy, I googled guys who had to watch their girlfriend kiss another man, and cuckolding came up. I have a lot of experience as a cuckold.

Why I don't like cuckolding culture started near the beginning, but I liked having like-minded individuals to talk about this with, and analyze our feelings together. But I finally gave up a few years ago and stopped commenting.

First, the stories are unbelievable. I feel like I'm talking to a group of pathological liars half the time. It's frustrating to want to have honest and sincere conversations about something so surreal, only to be met with lies. The thing is, I love real stories. I love to take a trip down memory lane myself. I like talking with two friends in person, who have had similar experiences. But the unbelievable stuff, told by people with zero social skills (and to pull off watching a guy undress your wife takes serious social skills to put him as ease to do it), is the opposite of honest and sincere conversations.

Second, the zero social skills. Cuckolding can give off incel vibes (sometimes being an incel is the fantasy). People that are difficult to talk to, or who only want to talk about themselves, are frustrating to talk to by definition. It's terrible pr for cuckolding to, I'd rather it just be a normal thing to stay monogamous to a non-monogamous woman, but it will never be normalized if the people advocating for it are awkward af.

Third, women don't want to be married to beta males. You can be an alpha and a cuck. Being so secure that your wife having a guy on the side doesn't bother you is a sign of strength, being so insecure you can't handle the slightest bit of jealousy is a sign of weakness. Cucks on forums relish in their weakness. I feel bad for their wives. What's worse, they put this forward sacrificing their wife's happiness for their own fetish, when cuckolding is about the wife's happiness and not the husband's.

Just some random thoughts about why I don't post here anymore. Wish you all well.

Greetings,
Im sorry you feel that way,and I understand. I know and feel also that there are unbelivable stories & people who lie,but I have no control over that & tend to look over that.
There are a lot of different things I read on here that I can learn from. Also its interesting to read what others write and their perspectives are. As your's was. I cant relate to that,I can respect and understand. Actually theres quite a few things on this site I can't relate too,and a lot I do relate to.

[Dutchpride7]

First, the stories are unbelievable. I feel like I'm talking to a group of pathological liars half the time.

You say "half the time", but generalise that "the stories are unbelievable. So I'm not sure whether you think all the stories are fiction or just half of them.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the sentiment you are expressing. It is indeed frustrating to start reading a thread, only to find it quickly degenerates into a story about a 'bull' with a 10 or 12 inch cock, the husband transforming into a sissy within weeks, etc, etc
But what is the solution? You have decided that the 'community' isn't for you. Ok, but sometimes you have to wade through some shit to find the gems. And they do exist.
Also it is very difficult to fully know if a story is true or not. We can only read it and make our own minds up.

Bull perspective***
Ive been on this site just a couple of months and thoroughly enjoy & dig it. I might not have read azs many stories as you,and "Yeah" there are probably some that are far fetched and lying. When reading those I just kinda shrug them off & laugh,more or less not getting to hung up on them being unbelievable or lying. Its to me half full rather than half empty. The reason that works for me is because then I dwell and hang onto the negativity of the unbelievable or lying rather than shrugging it off and laughing with the person or others about the peposterious story.
This site is great and the reason I say that is because I dont believe there is a site out there that has this platform as this,with such a variety of people personal sexual desires & pleasures. And then to be able to converse and revibrate off of others ,there insights,stories,experiences,ups,downs,lessons,and so on!
Hey,I understand you and challenge you my friend to get beyond those that may lie or tell unbelievable stories because this site has soooooooo much more to offer.,and would like to see everyone enjoy the pro's much more than the cons. I would also challenge everyone to write down on paper the pros & cons of this site and I would guarantee that the pros outweigh the cons not only on my sheet,Im gunna put it out there on everybodys sheet! Stay down! I thank you & apprecoiate everyone on deck & on board this site. For Real....

[trecital]

Hmm, not sure why you quoted me in the previous post, because you are basically saying what I said.....
"sometimes you have to wade through some shit to find the gems. And they do exist.
Also it is very difficult to fully know if a story is true or not. We can only read it and make our own minds up."