I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

[Goodboy66]

Delete

[coastalkid]

I thought I'd write down a few random thoughts before I start on my update...
.........

Being completely honest is tough; I've shared a lot here, but there's still so much I keep buried, afraid of judgment, of letting some of you down. The truth is, while I'm perpetually on edge about where this is all heading, I fucking love it at the same time. I've read your comments, some twice, some thrice, many urging me to throw in the towel, to use the safe word and end the game. I know those comments come from a place of care, and I respect that, but I'm not ready to stop. I've made a commitment to Jaimee to see this through, and I'm determined to stick by that.

..........

I've been mulling over what I want from this platform. It used to be a release, a way to sort through my thoughts, but now I feel I need to censor myself, worried about judgment, about shame. I'm enjoying this current phase of our game just as much as Jaimee, though the health of our marriage always lingers in my mind like a shadow. The thought of losing her to Sipho or another man fills me with dread, even turns my stomach.

..........

I appreciate your comments, your engagement. I'm still figuring this out, but I think about your words often. Please bear with me as I navigate these complex emotions and desires.

Thank you for this insight! I would imagine that as intense as your experience has been there will be things you will NEVER admit to ANYONE. There will be details in your recollection that will be better left to fade from your memory. The fact that there are things you feel you need to censor speaks to the notion that you anticipate the shame and judgement that will follow. That in itself cuts both ways, one in that you expect people will think you're taking extreme risks and urge caution and two, that you don't want to be scrutinized for being foolish while unable to help yourself from going further and further into the rabbit hole.

It's only my opinion but, holding on to the sense of shame and judgement means you haven't lost that part of yourself. Your personality hasn't transformed into someone you no longer recognize. If you became callous to the shame and judgement that void left behind would be filled with ambivalence. It would be a step towards a "new" you with new wider boundaries to heighten the risk and repeat the cycle.

I'm anxious to find out about the trip you had planned. Since this is a retelling I don't know if it has occurred yet or not. There's still a potential end to this game or an extension to it. You can't quit now! I vow to not shame or judge for what that's worth. Thanks again for the story, it's a good one and told well!

[elina]

Thank you Ky

I think of you often.
Sometimes I feel unable to reply to your posts since I am not quite sure how to articulate my thoughts, and also because I suspect there are so many other things that I am not aware of that might make my reflections meaningless to you.

The part of your most recent message that I enjoyed the most is your confirmation that even if you have shared a lot, there are still things you may have wanted to share but have held back for fear of condemnation from some readers here. I think that is a pity. We should not be here to condemn others. We should in my opinion all be here to seek to understand and respect others. In particular those who have gone into areas we ourselves have not.

Please continue to update.

Sincerely
elina

[offendedgame]

We love you!

[out_of_ideas]

Wow. What an intense encounter. Thank you for sharing

[Rogueuser1]

Amazing - thanks for sharing. Please don't worry about the shame and judgement --- share away as you want to share without fear. You will have to ignore some off the assholes but the rest of us will be here to support you.

[sabya167]

That was CLASSIC and VINTAGE KY.......at its peak and very best.
Sometimes I think which one I like more....the events that you describe or the way you describe them....the personality that is reflected through your writings...so adorable...can't ever match you in either the events or the writings.....because I don't have your personality...God the depth you have shown, both as a person
And in this game....the depth you have...the stomach you have...can't ever match them.

[all4fun]

but there's still so much I keep buried, afraid of judgment, of letting some of you down.

This may be the most alarming thing I took from this past post. Ignore the noise Ky.


Romans 2:1-3: "For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself"

[veub]

Being completely honest is tough; I've shared a lot here, but there's still so much I keep buried, afraid of judgment, of letting some of you down. The truth is, while I'm perpetually on edge about where this is all heading, I fucking love it at the same time. I've read your comments, some twice, some thrice, many urging me to throw in the towel, to use the safe word and end the game. I know those comments come from a place of care, and I respect that, but I'm not ready to stop. I've made a commitment to Jaimee to see this through, and I'm determined to stick by that.

. . .

I've been mulling over what I want from this platform. It used to be a release, a way to sort through my thoughts, but now I feel I need to censor myself, worried about judgment, about shame.

The simple solution is to ignore the posters, like me, with cautionary posts.
Play only to those who would like nothing more than a story about Sipho and friends running a train on your ass. That will provide plenty of jerk-off material for them.

[ResponsibullCummings]

My I don't think anyone is looking to make you feel shame or judging you for your choices. I doubt there is a single person that doesn't find your story super hot. I think it's a credit to your writing style. Over the years everyone has a good feeling about who they think you and Jaimee. We like you both and care about you and your kids and want you to stay together forever. Anything that's negative is just genuine concern and it seems you are dealing with some of the same worries. I don't think anyone thinks of Jaimee as being a bad person. I think people are just worried Sippho is using operant conditioning on her to change her into Lexi permanently and that Jaimee will eventually be lost. That's just worst case fear and hopefully it doesn't happen. It's really impressive that total strangers are so invested and concerned for you so I hope instead of feeling shame that you can focus on the positive of the way people are trying to look out for you.

The last install,ent was so hot. I can see why you are both hooked on this part of your journey and want to keep going. It would have maybe been even hotter if you had been able to write about anal only month as it seems like that was too much for her but it seems she really enjoyed the other night maybe because you were there to witness and share it with her.

You have made it clear you know the risks and you are loving it so I hope everyone will respect that and let you tell you story as it unfolds.i hope you will reconsider and share more of the details you haven't shared and maybe even some of the past parts of the journey you have skipped. I am curious if there is a line left you won't cross? I think the tattoos are probably here to stay but so far they seem to be in places that Jaimee can hide them. The next big step might be outing them in places them can't be concealed is that something you have discussed?it could be the tipppimg point where she becomes more Lexi than Jaimee. What do you see happening when the 6 months is up? Is exetending your pussy free time an option or is that a hard no?

It would surely be a tragedy if you stopped writing or held back out of fear of being judged. You are on a cuck forum and a self proclaimed cuck-oholic aomplease continue on. We all are hoping nothing but the best for you both.

[shadowtantra]

Echoing many others here and all those who read and don't post, this is your story that you get to tell and share in any way you want to. You have the power. Your story is powerful and your writing is excellent. I feel both your anxiety and your arousal and appreciate how all this plays out in life, your marriage, family and friends. I hope you continue to share your story in the way that is best for you.

[KHRunner]

We don't post much either, but have enjoyed following along. I'd love to hear more about the tattoos and the challenging parts you haven't shared.

In terms of judgement from others... it only matters if you allow it to matter.

Thanks for sharing your journey with this forum.

[mick_flow]

I’d love a description of Jaimee / Lexie’s tattoos too. You’ve hasted glimpses of them at various points in time. I keep trying to imagine whole ensemble - but it’s difficult.

[Jacko]

Hi Ky,
Definitely hope you keep sharing your journey. As someone living the reverse life in a way (very vanilla marriage life, me as a Brit living in the US with an American wife) I greatly enjoy seeing things from your perspective and your glimpses of adjustment to UK life.
As others have said, please feel open to share your inner fantasies/thoughts/turmoil without judgment.

Thanks for everything so far and best wishes!

[Ky_Da]

Hey all,

The following posts are a bit jumbled on the timeline of events. I wrote the top part after I'd already written the lower part. I hope it's not too hard to follow.

To start, let me hit a couple of questions that have been asked. First, picture. As I've stated before, that for us is a no-go, apologies. Sharing photos isn't something we're comfortable with. Once a picture's out there, it's permanent, and with AI constantly advancing, privacy becomes a real concern (I can feel some of you rolling your eyes at that last comment). I also enjoy keeping this narrative in text. I've discovered a passion for writing, trying to capture scenes, emotions, and descriptions in words. While a picture might speak a thousand words, I find crafting those words much more engaging. It's a creative challenge that stimulates my mind and has become a source of joy for me, so I'll see what I can do to provide a better description.

I other night I lay in bed, the dim light of my cell phone's screen casting shadows across the room as I scroll through my phone. The sound of water stopped, and moments later, Jaimee entered from the loo, her silhouette framed by the bathroom door. She was freshly showered, droplets of water still clung to her skin. My eyes traced her form, taking in each tattoo, each piercing, layers of ink and metal telling stories of her transformation into Lexi. The Queen of Spades on her breast and her calf, the delicate chain around her ankle, the initials 'SI' on her wrist, the orchids that cover most of her hip... all of them meaningful symbols of Lexi's emergence.

As she approached, my attention was immediately drawn to her latest tattoo. It covered her lower back and sides with a striking design, a fusion of modern tribal art and abstract expressionism. Starting at the base of her spine, a stylized serpent made of thick, bold lines began its ascent. These lines twisted and curved, branching into patterns of interlocking triangles and circles. From there, the lines spread outward, snaking towards her sides where they grew finer, following the natural curve of her body up towards her breasts. The upper back was left blank, a canvas for potential future tattoos, although Jaimee had been considering images and sketches, we'd decided to take a break from adding more for now. We wanted to make sure any further tattoos weren't just a spur-of-the-moment thrill. The tattoo's black ink, with subtle metallic highlights, caught the light, giving it a dynamic quality. She felt it was more than just ink, it was something of a narrative, bold and detailed, and it wrapped around her like a second layer of skin.

Jaimee, nestled against me, caught a glimpse of what I was looking at. "What's got you so engrossed, then?" she asked, her voice playful, tinged with curiosity.

I hesitated for a moment, then handed her my phone. "Someone on ourhotwives posted me these images for Lexi... it's anime art."

She took the phone, her eyes widening as she scrolled through images of women with exaggerated, voluptuous features, each adorned with tattoos that screamed eroticism—black spades, explicit phrases, and designs that left little to the imagination. The most striking was an image where a woman's areola was surrounded by tiny black sperm, all swimming towards her nipple as if on a mission.

Jaimee held up her own breast, her fingers tracing the edge of her nipple ring. "Would you like it if I got something like this, then?" she teased, her eyes locked onto mine with a mischievous glint.

"No," I replied, trying to sound firm, but my voice betrayed me with a note of excitement.

She arched an eyebrow, her smile growing wider. "Oh, come on, Ky. I reckon you'd bloody love it." Her tone was teasing, her hand still holding her breast, emphasizing the point.

"It's just fantasy, Jaimee," I protested, but my gaze lingered on her, on the idea of her pushing the provocative art even more than she already had.

She laughed softly, flipping through more images, each one more daring than the last. "But you'd fancy it if I looked like this, wouldn't you? Covered in more sexual tattoos that tell everyone what a cheeky girl I am?" Her voice was sultry, the kind that sent shivers down my spine.

I swallowed hard, my mind racing with the images, with the thought of Jaimee further embracing this wild, untamed version of herself. "I... it's not about what I want. It." I managed to say, my words weak against her playful challenge.

She leaned in closer, her breath hot against my ear. "Maybe I want it too. Maybe I want to see the look on your face when I show off these tattoos. Imagine me walking around with little black sperm all over my tits, Ky. Would that get you all hot and bothered?"

The thought was intoxicating, the taboo of it all stirring something deep within me. "Jaimee," I whispered, my voice thick with desire, "you're playing with fire."

She giggled, a sound that mixed innocence with pure seduction. "Maybe I like the burn, innit? What if I got one here?" She pointed to a spot just above her pubic bone, where the anime girl had a bold declaration inked. "Would you love to see that every time you undressed me, or are you just taking the piss?"

I couldn't help but imagine it, the eroticism of it all overwhelming. "You're teasing me," I said, though my body's response was clear.

"Am I, though?" she purred, scrolling to another image where a woman's back was a tapestry of erotic symbols. "Look at this one, proper naughty that is. Wouldn't that be something?"

"Quit teasing. Those tattoos are too extreme, even for you."

She laughed, a light, teasing sound. "Oh, you never know, Ky."

Those words rang with an unsettling truth, stirring both desire and dread within me. We said our goodnights, turning away from each other, but sleep eluded me, leaving me to wrestle with our 'game' and the profound changes it had wrought in Jaimee over the past year. It began with her occasional self-pleasure, her thoughts increasingly consumed by Sipho. The thrill was in the idea of Jaimee seeking her sexual fulfillment from him more than from me, her husband. We'd read about couples making this transformation from fantasy to reality, and we decided to venture into that territory.

This part of our game proved the most challenging, the line between pretense and reality blurring dangerously. Role-playing at a bar, pretending to be strangers for a night, was titillating but fleeting; it lacked the depth of true surrender. To make it feel real, I had to relinquish control, giving Jaimee the freedom to explore within boundaries we set. This freedom often led to mistakes, moments where we pushed too far, necessitating a reset of our boundaries.

Jaimee reading my written fantasies, this thread, and stories I like to read, gave her insights into my desires. But this wasn't just about fulfilling my fantasies; she discovered her own pleasures, sometimes venturing into territories that left me feeling uneasy or unprepared. This brought us back to her masturbation. Initially, it was a rare occurrence, but now, it was a daily ritual. In the beginning, a night with Sipho or others would satiate her for days, but that time dwindled, her hunger for sex growing insatiable. Now, if she wasn't getting laid, she became restless, her body betraying her need with every anxious twitch.

We talked about this change a lot. At first, she dismissed my observations, but as she paid more attention, she couldn't deny the truth in them. We're now working on creating space, small breaks to cool the intensity of her desires, to prevent her from being consumed by the fervor of our game. It's a delicate balance, ensuring the thrill doesn't overwhelm our lives, trying to maintain the spark without letting it burn us down. Easier said than done.

I began writing the following section a few weeks ago, which might make the timeline in today's post a bit confusing. I apologize for that. My writing process involves jotting down a few paragraphs at a time, and as days and weeks pass, the narrative evolves. What I feel one day might be resolved by the next, but I aim to capture these shifts as authentically as I can.

The tension at home this past week has been palpable, each discussion about 'Lexi' thickening the air with unspoken fears and desires. I've been on the brink of using my safe word for days, aware that it could lead to mutual destruction. What if I speak it, and Jaimee disregards it? Or what if she acknowledges it but then finds her pleasure elsewhere, behind my back? I have no real reason to think she'd do that, but my mind loves to dive into these dark possibilities. I'm always bracing for that proverbial shoe to drop.

The tension boiled over into a heated argument the other night, and in my frustration, I sought solace in Joanna. With Jaimee at work and the kids at the lunch table, I found Joanna in the bathroom, bending her over the counter. It was a quick, intense encounter, the kind that leaves you breathless, the release feeling like pure salvation. We both needed it, the absence of our last coupling leaving us desperate for the taste, the touch, the raw physical connection.

"Sorry if that was all of a sudden," I said, breathless, pulling out and helping her straighten up.

"Oh, I didn't mind," Joanna replied with a sly smile, pulling her knickers back into place, smoothing her dress. "I could tell you've been a bit wound up."

"Yeah," I admitted, zipping up, wishing I had the time to take her to bed for the rest of the day. "I hope you don't feel I just used you for sex. I needed it, and you looked stunning this morning. You drive me mad sometimes."

"I feel the same about you," she said, her hand briefly caressing my still-sensitive cock through my pants.

I felt a blush rise, attempting to hide it. "I'm glad. I know I'm average at best."

"You're the perfect size for me," Joanna reassured, giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Your wife might chase after the big ones, but not me. I wouldn't go near someone like Sipho."

Watching her leave, my desire only grew stronger. The ongoing drought of sex with Jaimee was wearing me down. Some might adapt to this lifestyle, but I haven't. Jaimee offers hand jobs and blow jobs whenever I want, but they're like fast food—quick satisfaction without the nourishment.

Later that night, Jaimee offered a blow job, and I wasn't about to say no. She pulled down my pants with a practiced ease, her mouth enveloping me, both familiar and intoxicating. She's become a master of oral pleasure, able to bring me to climax in minutes or prolong it indefinitely, keeping me at her mercy.

But that night, she paused, letting me slip from her lips. "You've been with Joanna today. I can taste and smell her on you," she said, her voice a blend of satisfaction and challenge. "I'm glad. You should be with her more."

"Jaimee," I sighed, trying to stand on some moral ground, "I'm married to you. It's not fair to her—" My words were cut short as she resumed with even more vigor, her skilled mouth ending the conversation abruptly. The intensity was too much; my release was swift and overwhelming.

Jaimee swallowed effortlessly, then went to the bathroom to get ready for bed, leaving me in a whirlwind of awe and confusion. I watched her, her hair longer than ever, nearly touching the curve of her ass, partially hiding the new tattoos that now decorated her body.

Her back and sides were a canvas of tribal designs, erotic in their suggestion. The tattoos started from her lower back, intricate patterns that seemed to move like waves or flames, reaching up her sides towards her breasts. Each line and curve was an invitation, the dark ink against her skin both primitive and profoundly seductive. These tattoos were not just art; they were a manifesto of her sexuality, a rebellion against societal norms, an embrace of Lexi. They painted the picture of a woman who had shed all inhibitions, perhaps caught in the grip of sexual addiction, where each tattoo was another step into her own temptation, transforming her into the very embodiment of sin and seduction.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, I spoke my safe word.

Immediately, Jaimee's toothbrush hit the sink with a clatter. She turned to me, her lips tight, eyes flaring with anger and something else—hurt. A heavy silence stretched between us as she reined in her emotions, taking deep, calming breaths.

"I'm listening," she finally said, her voice controlled after nearly two minutes.

"I'm not calling a stop to everything," I clarified. "But we need to talk about the tattoos."

"You don't like them?" she asked, her voice suddenly lacking its usual certainty. Her gaze dropped to her body, a moment ago a proud display of her choices, now a source of doubt. She turned towards the mirror, her reflection capturing the shift in her demeanor. The woman who had walked in with the swagger of Lexi, who had embraced her tattoos as badges of her newfound identity, now seemed to shrink within herself, her confidence melting away like ice under the sun. Her eyes, which had sparkled with defiance and self-assurance, now flickered with vulnerability.

"But I thought—" she started, her words trailing off, the unspoken assumption that my approval was part of her strength hanging in the air. Her posture changed, shoulders slumping slightly as she looked at herself, not with the pride of earlier but with a questioning gaze, as if seeing herself through my eyes for the first time.

This moment revealed how much of her confidence might be tethered to my acceptance. Without it, would she have pushed the boundaries so far? Would she have adorned herself so extensively if she didn't feel my silent endorsement? The tattoos, once symbols of her liberation, now seemed to weigh on her, their permanence a stark reminder of the decisions she made, perhaps partly for herself but also in the shadow of my reaction. Her transformation into Lexi wasn't just about her desires; it was interwoven with the validation she sought from me, making her current vulnerability all the more poignant.

"—It's not that," I interrupted, my voice softening. "You're so far beyond sexy I can't even begin to describe it. I feel like a teenager, getting a hard-on every time you're around. I want you all the time." I gestured towards her body. "I just need to slow down on the number of tattoos. You've been getting them fast and furious, and it's too much too fast for me. At this rate, you'll have a full body suit by the time we go to Florida, and I don't think I'm ready for that."

Jaimee nodded slowly, processing my words, her eyes moving from the mirror to the tattoo on her breast, contemplating, reflecting.

"I love you, Jaimee, all of you," I reassured her, my voice warm and sincere. "I'm with you in this journey, but I just need a pause on the tattoos for a little while. I need time to adjust, to get used to them."

She gave a sad smile, acknowledging the truth in my words. "You're probably right," she admitted, her voice tinged with a hint of regret. "I might have gotten carried away. I think I've got an addictive personality, not for the usual vices like drugs or gambling, but for sex and tattoos." Her eyes met mine, seeking understanding. "I have one more appointment scheduled to finish some of the line work on my side, but after that, I'll pause. We can talk more before I proceed."

I appreciated her willingness to compromise. "Thank you," I said, feeling the tension between us lessen. "I'm glad we can talk about this." Then, she posed a question that caught me off guard.

"Are you interested in getting a tattoo?" Jaimee asked, her tone hopeful, perhaps looking for a way to share this part of her journey with me.

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. "I don't think tattoos are for me. I'll let you be the extreme rebellious one. I'm happy to just be plain old Ky."

She smiled, the vulnerability from moments ago fading into a shared moment of understanding. "Plain old Ky is pretty special to me."

Her remark was like a soothing balm to my soul, bringing a sense of peace that had eluded me for some time.

We slipped into bed, the familiar comfort of our routine enveloping us. Jaimee donned her usual loose-fitting tee and sweats, preferring warmth and comfort for sleep. While part of me wished she'd wear something more risqué like a sheer teddy, practicality won out; you never know when one of the kids might need her in the night, and she's always ready to switch into mom-mode at a moment's notice.

Our nightly pillow talk ensued, a sacred time for us where we share thoughts and reaffirm our connection. I'll keep those conversations private, but we did decide I should join in on her next evening session with Sipho. I had been craving more participation; after all, the pictures from their encounters had lost their thrill. I wanted to be more than just an observer, and we agreed to make that happen.

Fast forward a few days to the evening in question.

It was an evening unlike any other, one where I was invited to watch, to learn, to see my wife transform into Lexi under Sipho's guidance. The BDSM world was still largely uncharted territory for me; I had dabbled with light bondage, blindfolds, and even a collar in our early days, but the Dom/sub dynamic was something we hadn't seriously explored until Sipho.

On our way to Sipho's gaff, Jaimee turned to me, her voice laced with concern, "I hope you're ready for this, Ky. I reckon you might find it a bit intense, yeah?"

I swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, the weight of our decision pressing down on me. "I'm good," I replied, my voice thick with a cocktail of anxiety and anticipation.

Jaimee and I had spent hours discussing how far we were willing to push our fantasies. She now bore seven tattoos, one sprawling across her hip and upper thigh. Her thick nipple rings were a constant, never removed. She had also embraced piercings in her belly button and clitoral hood. We had ventured far beyond what we once thought possible, yet here we were, both of us craving more.

"You've mentioned that you now like the tattoos you have," I recalled from our lengthy discussion. "But when we first talked about tattoos, you always said you'd eventually have them removed. I sense you feel differently now."

Jaimee paused, her expression reflective. "I used to think tattoos weren't for me," she admitted, "but something shifted. I don't see them as temporary anymore." She met my gaze, biting her lip, a mixture of indecision and determination in her eyes. "In fact, I wouldn't mind getting a few more."

This revelation surprised me. My wife, the one I never imagined would embrace such a transformation, was now contemplating further ink. "How many? Where?" I blurted out, my curiosity piqued despite my apprehension.

She shrugged, "I'm not sure yet. I've been looking at art and online pictures. I have some ideas, but I wanted to talk to you first."

"I appreciate that," I responded. "I never thought you'd want to be covered in tattoos."

"Neither did I," she confessed, "but once you get one, it changes how you see yourself. It's hard to explain, but there's something about seeing them on me that feels right. They become part of you."

Her words echoed in my mind as we arrived at Sipho's home. The thought of Jaimee with more tattoos, her submission deepening under Sipho's influence, sent a flood of conflicting emotions through me—excitement, curiosity, and a touch of fear.

"Tonight might be a lot for you," Jaimee warned gently, bringing me back to the present. "Sipho's been pushing me to fully embrace Lexi, and I think he'll continue that tonight. I told him we discussed it, that you're okay with it." She touched my thigh, grounding me in the moment. "But it might still be overwhelming. Maybe you can ask Sipho if you can have sex with me later. I think he'll be open to it after tonight."

"I have to ask Sipho to have sex with my own wife?" I asked, the words tasting of both defeat and arousal.

"You have your safe word if it gets to be too much, Ky," Jaimee reminded me, squeezing my knee. "But you agreed to give me to Sipho, to these rules. Exceptions come at a cost."

"More tattoos," I exhaled, the reality sinking in. "Basically throwing you into the briar patch."

Jaimee looked puzzled. "Briar patch?"

I shook my head, dismissing the reference. "Never mind."

I looked at my wife, the dim streetlights casting shadows on her face, highlighting her excitement, her happiness. We'd had a good day together, filled with family activities, but there was a different kind of joy in her now, an anticipation for what was to come.

My eyes traced the new piercings in her ears, the large hoop earrings, and caught the edge of the spade tattoo on her breast. I wondered how I'd react if she were even more adorned. How far would she go? How far would we?

I turned off the car, went around to open the door for her, and together we stepped into Sipho's home. The air was thick with anticipation, scented with leather and candle wax. The room was dimly lit, casting long shadows that danced with every movement. Here, Sipho had prepared a scene that would test Lexi's limits, an exploration into the depths of orgasm control and submission.

I was asked to wait in the kitchen for about twenty minutes, when I was led back into the room, Lexi was already bound, her wrists and ankles secured with soft, black silk ropes to a specially designed bondage frame. It was both art and restraint, allowing her to be stretched in a way that exposed her vulnerability while ensuring comfort over time. Sipho moved with the precision of a conductor, his hands exploring her body with a familiarity that both thrilled and unnerved me.

He began with gentle touches, his fingers tracing the lines of her tattoos, the spade on her breast, the chains around her ankles, each touch a reminder of her journey into submission. "You're beautiful when you're on the edge, Lexi," Sipho whispered, his voice a soothing balm and a catalyst for arousal. "Let's see how long we can keep you there."

His technique was methodical. First, he used a feather, light and teasing, brushing over her skin, making every nerve ending sing with anticipation. Then, he introduced a device I wasn't familiar with at the time; it looked like a small wheel with sharp, evenly spaced pins around its edge. He rolled it over her skin, and her reaction was immediate, her body tensing and then relaxing into the sensation. I had to look up later what it was called and learned it's referred to as a Wartenberg wheel.

Sipho alternated between pleasure and denial, his fingers and toys bringing Lexi close to orgasm, only to pull back at the last moment. He used a Hitachi wand, the vibrations powerful yet controlled by his touch, drawing moans from Lexi that echoed in the room. Each time she neared the peak, he'd change the game—sometimes with a sudden cold ice cube on her heated skin, other times by whispering commands or questions that demanded her full attention, pulling her mind away from the physical edge of release.

"Tell me, Lexi, what do you crave more than anything else?" Sipho asked, his voice hypnotic, his eyes piercing through her façade of control.

"I... I crave release," she gasped, her voice strained with desire, her muscles taut as they fought against the restraints, the effort causing a glistening sheen to break out across her skin, her eyes desperately searching for respite.

Watching Sipho work was like observing a master artist at his craft. The psychological play was intense, an intricate dance of mind and body. He utilized this moment of vulnerability not only to control but to educate, to weave his narrative into the very fabric of Jaimee's being. I could see how well-practiced he was, how he enjoyed this art, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. I knew I could never replicate what he does to my wife; Jaimee is my equal, my complete companion, and I couldn't bring myself to make her feel this level of submission.

Yet, I also recognized that I could give her these experiences by allowing it, by trusting her, by being strong enough to watch her dive into this world where she's not just Jaimee but Lexi. His words were like seeds, planted in the fertile ground of her heightened state, beginning to take root in her psyche, reinforcing the idea that her pleasure was inextricably linked to her submission, to her role in pleasing others. I could only hope that my trust in her, in us, would mean she wouldn't one day decide to leave me behind for this life.

Hours passed, each minute stretching into an eternity of exquisite torture for Lexi. She was beyond frustration, her body a live wire of need, every nerve ending screaming for release. Sipho's mastery wasn't just in his touch but in his voice, his commands, each one a stroke on the canvas of her submission. "Beg for it, Lexi. Show me how much you want to please," he coaxed, his tone both commanding and encouraging.

"Please, Daddy," Lexi's voice was raw, desperate, a mix of Jaimee's resolve and Lexi's surrender, "please let me show you how much I need this, how much I want to make you happy."

Sipho smiled, the satisfaction of a craftsman seeing his work take shape. "But are you sure you're ready, Lexi? Or is Jaimee still holding you back?" His question was like a gentle prod, designed to stir the conflict within her.

Lexi's response was a whisper, a struggle between identities. "I... I want to be Lexi, but... Jaimee is still here."

"Ah, but Lexi," Sipho's voice was hypnotic, "Jaimee doesn't have to disappear. She can watch, she can learn, but right now, you need to let Lexi take the lead. Feel how your body responds, how it craves this freedom, this pleasure."

He continued his game, pushing her towards the brink again and again, teasing her with the wand, only to retreat, leaving her yearning. But then, he used something more personal, more potent—his own fat cock, slowly entering her, then gradually increasing his pace. Each thrust was deliberate, a lesson in control and surrender, all while he whispered, "Embrace it, Lexi. Only my cock can bring you this truth."

The orgasm that followed was unlike anything I'd ever witnessed, a crescendo of physical and emotional release, a tidal wave that seemed to sweep through her body. Lexi's screams were more like songs, each note an affirmation of her climax, her body convulsing against the restraints, muscles tensing and then releasing as if she was shedding layers of herself to become pure sensation. In that moment, it was clear that for her, ultimate pleasure was tied to Sipho's mastery, to the feel of his cock, not some toy or another man's touch.

But there was a moment, just before the peak, where she fought back, her voice a mix of defiance and desire. "I'm still Jaimee too," she gasped, trying to cling to her identity.

Sipho's response was gentle, his mastery in his patience. "And Jaimee will always be part of you, but right now, let Lexi have this moment, this pleasure. Let her show you what you can be."

As the waves of pleasure crashed over her, overwhelming her senses, her eyes rolled back, her consciousness teetering on the edge. She murmured incoherently, phrases like "so good" mixed with names, perhaps mine, perhaps Sipho's, all blurred into one. Then, with a final, shuddering gasp, she passed out, her body going limp in the bindings, a serene expression on her face as if she had reached a nirvana beyond the physical realm.

Sipho watched her closely, ensuring her safety before beginning the aftercare, gently unbinding her, wrapping her in a soft blanket, his words of praise and care like a lullaby. "You did well, Lexi, embracing more of yourself today. Jaimee will always be there, but Lexi, she's the one who can soar."

As I watched, I realized the extent of his control, how he had woven pleasure with psychology, not to erase Jaimee but to expand her, to make her believe, even subtly, that her happiness could be found in this act of submission, in serving, in being the vessel of ecstasy.

This session was not just about physical pleasure but about reshaping desires, about framing her sexual identity around the joy of pleasing, around the worship of the act itself. And as Lexi lay there, recovering, I couldn't help but wonder where this journey would take us, where the lines between pleasure, control, and identity would blur next. Sipho had made progress, but the battle for Lexi's full acceptance of herself was ongoing, a dance of push and pull between who she was and who she could become.

Sipho's words wove a narrative, not of separation but of integration, where Jaimee wasn't left behind but transformed. Lexi was the expression of her desires, her submission, her pleasure, all within the safety of our relationship. Sipho's manipulation was subtle, not outright claiming ownership but guiding her to realize her own desires, her own identity within this complex dynamic.

Lexi's breath hitched, her mind wrestling with the duality of her identity, the pull towards this new self, this new freedom. "So, being Lexi... it's not just for you?" she asked, her voice laced with curiosity, seeking to understand her place, her role, in this tug-of-war between dominance and submission.

"It's for you, Lexi," Sipho answered, his tone almost reverent. "It's about finding who you truly are, beyond the roles we play every day. But I guide you, I help you see what you might not yet recognize in yourself. And Ky," he glanced at me again, "he's your anchor, your safe harbor. Without him, this journey wouldn't be possible. You're not just submitting to me; you're embracing a part of yourself that's been waiting to be set free."

The conversation was less about direct commands and more about planting seeds of identity, of desire, where Lexi could see herself not as a creation of Sipho's will but as an evolution of her own desires, facilitated by the love and trust of our marriage.

My eyes were drawn to the bed where Sipho cradled Jaimee, her form relaxed to the point of near comatose, her breathing deep and even as if in a profound sleep. The scene was both intimate and disconcerting, Sipho's arm wrapped protectively around her.

I cleared my throat, the air thick with the aftermath of their session. "Have you ever gone to this extent before, Sipho? Taken a woman as far as you have with Jaimee?"

Sipho looked up at me, his eyes thoughtful, a touch of his South African lilt in his voice. "Nah, man, Jaimee hasn't gone all that far compared to some of my past... adventures. When I was younger, I made a lot of mistakes. The power you feel in this kind of thing, it can be intense, ne? It's a challenge not to go too far. But I like to think I've matured. Now, I want to ensure everyone has a good experience, not just me. I'm not looking to hurt anyone. If I'm not careful, I'll end up with a woman chasing me for life, hey? Don't need that. Don't want to mess up people's lives."

He paused, looking down at Jaimee with a mixture of pride and affection. "I'm really enjoying my time with Lexi. I like to think of Lexi as mine and Jaimee as yours. It's a nice balance."

I nodded, absorbing his words, then ventured further. "What about other men? Has Lexi been with many?"

Sipho's expression grew serious. "Some, ja, but I only let her be with people I trust completely. It's something I take very seriously." He shifted slightly, adjusting Jaimee's blanket. "I'm enjoying my time with Jaimee more than with anyone else in my past. She's got a sharp mind, she's enjoyable to talk to, and of course very beautiful. She's nearly fearless, puts a lot of trust in me, and I don't want to lose that. Usually, I'm with multiple women, but since I've started with Jaimee, she's kept me... satisfied. My balls are empty, so I've no need to look elsewhere."

His candor was both reassuring and a reminder of the complex web we were all part of. I looked at Jaimee, her body at peace, her journey into Lexi both thrilling and terrifying. The balance Sipho spoke of, between control and care, between pleasure and responsibility, was a tightrope we were all walking. And as I watched over my wife, I felt both the weight of our choices and the profound connection that this lifestyle, with all its risks, seemed to cultivate between us.

"You look like you've got something on your mind, Ky. What are you thinking?" Sipho's voice was calm, inviting.

I shook myself out of my reverie. "Just processing," I said. "For years, Jaimee and I lived on a very tight budget. There was never any extra money." I paused, gathering my thoughts, and Sipho didn't press. "Now, we have a little extra, and as you know, we're planning this big trip to Florida. I bought the plane tickets the other day and put down a deposit on the accommodations. It was a large outlay of cash, and even though we had it, it still caused me a lot of anxiety. Like spending all that money went against everything I've been conditioned to feel. I don't know... it's like I have an internal governor that makes me uncomfortable when I spend more than I'm used to."

"I think I know where you're going with this, hey," Sipho said, his tone understanding. "But please continue."

I nodded, acknowledging his insight. "You probably have the right read on it. I have that same governor when it comes to this game Jaimee and I have been playing. I'm good for a while, but eventually, that anxiety starts to eat at me when I feel out of my comfort zone for too long."

"And you feel out of your comfort zone?" Sipho probed gently.

"Like I'm in another galaxy kind of distance from my comfort zone," I admitted.

"And you want to stop things now?"

"I wanted that a long time ago, but I agreed with my wife that this time I wouldn't be the one to throw in the towel. I'm trying to give her that choice, but she's gone so much further than I'd ever thought she would, and she doesn't show any signs of wanting to stop."

"Free will is a bitch sometimes, ne," Sipho quipped with a light chuckle.

I managed a dry laugh; he wasn't wrong.

"I don't have any sense that she's even wanting to slow down," I continued. "Does she want a total body suit of x-rated tattoos? Does she want to fuck another hundred guys? Does she have any limits on what she wants?"

Sipho chuckled again, shaking his head. "I don't see it going that far, man," he assured me. "Or if it does, you might want to have that safe word ready. For my part, I wouldn't take her that far."

"I appreciate you saying that," I replied, feeling a slight relief at his words, though the underlying tension of our situation remained, like a string stretched too tight, waiting to see if it would snap or find harmony.

[BigHotMess]

KY,

You sound like a great guy and I’d like to be your friend in real life. I know there is this thing here of people being too into something or, conversely, people being contrarians.

If you were my friend in real life I’d punch you in the fucking face. I’d do it out of love, but you need to come to your senses.

This is a porn board and people will cheer the wrong things at the wrong times. You have kids for fuck’s sake.

[coastalkid]

Yeah, I'd like to be your friend too! Super post! A lot revealed in that episode!

[subtoall]

Powerful. Intrepid.

[lkh96]

Jaimee already wants more tattoo and she's gettin it. What are the odds she comes home from sipho one night with fresh ink...
Safe word be dammed.

[coastalkid]

It was good that you got to have that conversation with Sipho. I didn't come away from your retelling of that feeling like Sipho would stop her. Sure he said he wouldn't take her that far but he also said you should have your safe word ready. Sipho may have had his own vision of what he wants from Jaimee but now it sounds like Jaimee now has her own ideas and desires. Those feelings and desires of Jaimee's have taken hold and become rooted. It feels like there's the potential for Sipho to reach his goals and end his game and move on to the next conquest. Jaimee may now have enough "time on task" and experience to pick up the ball and run with it on her own.

I get the feeling that as hard as it is to "live" the lifestyle, it's even harder to rein it in when it gets out of anyone's comfort zone. I get that some men get off on the anxiety and angst and denial. If that is the extent of your experience and you begin to perceive that's all it will ever be, that may not be enough to consider it more fun than an oppressive reluctance.

I can thoroughly understand why you came away from your discussion with Sipho as "slight relief". I look forward to your next installment. Thanks!

[Jacko]

I'm glad you were able to put a temporary pause on the tattoos, and that you can use your safe word, not to call a permanent halt, but as a stop light to allow a conversation and reset as you journey together. Personally I find a lot of "ink" can start to dilute the purity of the body, but that's just my opinion. It seems sensible given Jaimee's admission she may be becoming addicted to her inking, to take a breath and really consider what comes next.

I agree that it was good for you to be "invited to watch, to learn, to see my wife transform into Lexi under Sipho's guidance." I think it's important that you can feel included and involved, even as an observer. I'm sure it heightens the experience for all. It's also necessary for you to be able to trust Sipho with your wife. He clearly has his own roadmap for Jaimee/Lexi, but he was able to demonstrate his experience and understanding, his care for your relationship with Jaimee, as he cares for Lexi and guides her in her submissive path. I'm sure you are very familiar with the long straight roads in the US that can become boring, just a tedious path that has to be endured to get from A to B. In the UK, you have all these twists and turns, the journey is slower but has more potential for interesting diversions. So it seems it can be with Jaimee/Lexi, Sipho and you - navigating your way down the road, adapting and changing direction from time to time, but always with the final destination in play.

And that final destination is Lexi's submissive personality. It must be difficult at times for Jaimee to quiet her intelligent mind, to stop questioning her choices or your feelings about it all. She needs the noise of Sipho's domiance to drown that out, and to learn that there are ways to compartmentalize. Mom and wife Jaimee gets a little box, her feelings and even thoughts about Ky get a little box. These can be put away in the back of her mind as she learn her place and her role as Sipho's submissive. And her role is to serve and bring pleasure to him. She is learning. Her release comes from him. - "Please, Daddy," Lexi's voice was raw, desperate, a mix of Jaimee's resolve and Lexi's surrender, "please let me show you how much I need this, how much I want to make you happy."

Now, accepting the premise that Lexi's destiny is to please Sipho. Sipho wants Lexi to have bigger tits. Sipho wants to pay for her implants. It seems inevitable that will happen soon.

Ky, I would ask that you picture that earlier scene, with Lexi braced against the back office window. Naked, enhanced and shaped by Sipho's tastes and preferences, heavy breasts swaying as she's taken. Being mated as you watch. Don't you think she will look even more beautiful as you both accept her changes?

[mundyman]

What a great post. Thank you for taking the time and effort to recount these moments of you three.
I don’t see any way the ‘game’ is over in May. This is who Jaimie is and she obviously enjoys getting lost in the moment and will want to continue these experiences with Sipho.
More importantly is that Sipho now has a better understanding of Ky’s thoughts and where he is mentally in all this. How will Sipho use this information he has on Jaimie and now Ky to continue their immersion and experiences in the game????

[mick_flow]

Hey Ky, how did Valentine's Day go? - Did you balance time with Joanna and Jaimee? - I ask since the last post you made was on the 14th. Or was Lexi with Sipho for the night?

Awesomely well written post, love it. Thank you for sharing you covered so much ground... the description of the tattoos was epic, and super erotic. It was awesome to get a better sense of Sipho too. I think you've done a great job of capturing the South African English speech pattern. Not to mention giving that insight into what was going on with the BDSM scene. You know, the phrase about Sipho being the only one to give her that release... damn man, that was so hot...

It seems Sipho really is balancing things well, amazing to see how inclusive that experience was.

I get your concern about hurting Joanna, when we played that was a major concern for both of us, hurting our respective partners. But if she's happy with it, then why not enjoy your time with her? - You can still be there for her too.

Yeah, as the others have said, you do sound like a cool guy, being your friend would be epic, but no punches here. Probably a pint, and then a chat, which will probably end up talking geeking out.

Can't wait for the next post!

[rascalnvixen]

WOW!!! Just F...ing WOW!!!! You painted such a seductive scene for both of you. I got the sense you were somehow seduced into acceptance yourself. You seemed to be at peace with Lexi's current reality.

Rascal

[MustBeDenied2]

Ky, Thank you for all the effort you put into writing this.

MBD