I've been a devoted cuckold to my stunning wife for a few years now, but only this past summer started watching her with her bulls. Since I started watching her with her different lovers I've started developing feelings of being inadequate to her. I love worshipping her and I try my very best to love, honor and obey her in every way that I can. My wife cut me off from having sex with her a couple years ago, so I've been an incel over that time. But since I've started witnessing the chemistry that she has with some of her bulls I feel like I can't ever measure up with what I have to offer her.
She assures me that my financial support (I'm the sole breadwinner and I pay for everything) and emotional support and the tribute that I pay her are enough to keep her, but I'm still unsure of myself. I'm so scared to lose her in my life and I often wonder what she sees in me and what I have to offer her. When I'm watching her having amazing sex with one of her bulls I often think to myself, "what can I do to ever please her in that way?"
I'm just curious if anyone else has ever experienced this and if you have any suggestions as to how I can deal with these feelings. I'm hoping it's just a phase and I will grow out of it. I love being her cuckold. I truly believe that my life's purpose is to serve her and please her at her command. But, in the meantime, I'd love to know if anyone has been where I am and what I might could do about it. TIA.
Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
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coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1200
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
I'm not a cuckold but your situation is what scares me the most about the lifestyle. Feeling inadequate doesn't go away when your wife/gf ISN'T having sex. It resides in your head 24/7. It also seems to be an issue that husbands/bfs have to deal with all on their own. You almost NEVER read about a wife/gf that has indulged in the hot wife/cuckold lifestyle that has realized her husband/bf has gotten to the breaking point and done SOMETHING to help him.
What you normally read about is a wife/gf that says, "You were the one that wanted this! Now you have to live with it!" The problem of that statement is that whatever the "THIS" is, isn't always the what was envisioned and not what the situation has evolved into. Things like NRE and the attitudes and behaviors of the third party (ie lovers or bulls) are variables that are not easily anticipated. Those things and others are so often left to the husband/bf to deal with on their own. Alone doesn't always provide the best answers.
My own personal fear regarding inadequacy is that once you have it it stays with you. You don't just shed your inadequacy with divorce or separation, it remains a lingering doubt. Think of any non-sexual way that inadequacy manifests itself. You desire to be good at, "fill in the blank". In order to overcome inadequacy it takes work and commitment.
Even then you have to understand that "adequacy" isn't exceptional. You won't be THE best you'll at least be "adequate". It takes two people to help one person overcome inadequacy, you'll never convince yourself on your own. The task becomes impossible if you are convinced that the other person you need to help you overcome inadequacy is the one that
Some people seem to thrive on feeling inadequate. They find comfort and satisfaction in accepting their limitations. They are thankful for being absolved of the responsibility of providing "adequate" sex. For other people, inadequacy is never ending, a thought that creeps into every aspect of your life during every waking hour. It is associated with helplessness and hopelessness. It robs you of the joy of life. The future is now one that is "partially cloudy" and not filled with rays of hope for better days.
The wrong pairing of people will allow inadequacy to metastasize like a cancer and will inevitably succumb to it. The right pairing of people will recognize negative symptoms and DO something about it. The wrong pairing of people will ignore, or dismiss, or be so oblivious that they don't see the symptoms. The right pairing of people know when something is wrong and DON'T have to wait to be told.
Lots of people here know better than me. I just have my opinion.
What you normally read about is a wife/gf that says, "You were the one that wanted this! Now you have to live with it!" The problem of that statement is that whatever the "THIS" is, isn't always the what was envisioned and not what the situation has evolved into. Things like NRE and the attitudes and behaviors of the third party (ie lovers or bulls) are variables that are not easily anticipated. Those things and others are so often left to the husband/bf to deal with on their own. Alone doesn't always provide the best answers.
My own personal fear regarding inadequacy is that once you have it it stays with you. You don't just shed your inadequacy with divorce or separation, it remains a lingering doubt. Think of any non-sexual way that inadequacy manifests itself. You desire to be good at, "fill in the blank". In order to overcome inadequacy it takes work and commitment.
Even then you have to understand that "adequacy" isn't exceptional. You won't be THE best you'll at least be "adequate". It takes two people to help one person overcome inadequacy, you'll never convince yourself on your own. The task becomes impossible if you are convinced that the other person you need to help you overcome inadequacy is the one that
Some people seem to thrive on feeling inadequate. They find comfort and satisfaction in accepting their limitations. They are thankful for being absolved of the responsibility of providing "adequate" sex. For other people, inadequacy is never ending, a thought that creeps into every aspect of your life during every waking hour. It is associated with helplessness and hopelessness. It robs you of the joy of life. The future is now one that is "partially cloudy" and not filled with rays of hope for better days.
The wrong pairing of people will allow inadequacy to metastasize like a cancer and will inevitably succumb to it. The right pairing of people will recognize negative symptoms and DO something about it. The wrong pairing of people will ignore, or dismiss, or be so oblivious that they don't see the symptoms. The right pairing of people know when something is wrong and DON'T have to wait to be told.
Lots of people here know better than me. I just have my opinion.
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
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cuck_curioso
- Prepubescent
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Thu Oct 02, 2025 5:01 am
- Location: Belo Horizonte, MG - Brazil
Re: Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
This feeling you are feeling is insecurity. For example, the fear of losing her. His effort to please her. I think these obsessive feelings and thoughts must generate anxiety.
You have to work on these feelings within yourself.
Sorry for my bad English.
You have to work on these feelings within yourself.
Sorry for my bad English.
Hello, my name is Allan.
I'm married to a wonderful woman.
I'm married to a wonderful woman.
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Angsty Cuck
- Trainable
- Posts: 71
- Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2023 1:42 am
Re: Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
Yep, being a cuckold usually takes you down a notch or two, and your wife isn’t going to rescue you.
Re: Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
First you must accept that you can never "please her in that way". Never. You are not built to satisfy her. Successful cuck relationships depend upon the husband accepting that. If you only felt inadequate in that way, you can fix things by accepting your limitations. But the cutoff from sex is another thing. THAT, and her general attitude towards you, is what is harder to fix. Why are you being cutoff? Did you just accept that? Why?
Sex fosters intimacy and that is what is lacking and contributing to the feelings of inadequacy. She has told you that she keeps you due to your financial and emotional support and “tribute” – meaning your over the heels attraction to her. BUT, I did not read that she said she loves you. I think you are picking up on that – you may lose her because she does not love you. There is no easy fix to that.
It would be helpful to the board if we knew your ages and how long you have been married. That helps to understand how much commitment has already been made to the relationship. If you cannot articulate how she shows her love for you, then you lost her already and perhaps you should rethink staying with her.
Sex fosters intimacy and that is what is lacking and contributing to the feelings of inadequacy. She has told you that she keeps you due to your financial and emotional support and “tribute” – meaning your over the heels attraction to her. BUT, I did not read that she said she loves you. I think you are picking up on that – you may lose her because she does not love you. There is no easy fix to that.
It would be helpful to the board if we knew your ages and how long you have been married. That helps to understand how much commitment has already been made to the relationship. If you cannot articulate how she shows her love for you, then you lost her already and perhaps you should rethink staying with her.
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coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1200
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Struggling with feelings of inadequacy
Good reply!Tryagain wrote: ↑Mon Nov 10, 2025 7:52 amFirst you must accept that you can never "please her in that way". Never. You are not built to satisfy her. Successful cuck relationships depend upon the husband accepting that. If you only felt inadequate in that way, you can fix things by accepting your limitations. But the cutoff from sex is another thing. THAT, and her general attitude towards you, is what is harder to fix. Why are you being cutoff? Did you just accept that? Why?
Sex fosters intimacy and that is what is lacking and contributing to the feelings of inadequacy. She has told you that she keeps you due to your financial and emotional support and “tribute” – meaning your over the heels attraction to her. BUT, I did not read that she said she loves you. I think you are picking up on that – you may lose her because she does not love you. There is no easy fix to that.
It would be helpful to the board if we knew your ages and how long you have been married. That helps to understand how much commitment has already been made to the relationship. If you cannot articulate how she shows her love for you, then you lost her already and perhaps you should rethink staying with her.
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!