Wife and my Dad

[here4u]

I always have said, the best way to get over some old pussy, is with new pussy. Just opens your eyes. Go for it, you deserve it Dave!

[b_p]

Would any of you be interested in hearing about some of my weird dreams I've had lately? Only the ones relating to all this of course. But I have had some doozies of late. Just wondering if anyone would care to hear them?

First, the answer to your question is "yes." Please do share them.

Secondly, don't feel like you have to screen out other dreams that you've had lately. I suspect that there may be insights to be gained from them also. I don't mean from some formula in a book where you can figure out tomorrow's winning lottery numbers ahead of time. I mean using analyzing them to gain a view into the unconscious mind.

As for the aging process, it is surprising to me how much the passage of time does to even the most fit person. Based on your descriptions, I do not agree that he is likely to outlive you. On the contrary, I give that a low probability. Besides, alpha males have a tendency to do themselves in, whether it's in car accidents, bar fights, or just generally being too adventurous for their own good. Or even in some cases, at the hands of a jealous boyfriend, when he has a fling behind her back.

xoxoxo

[jackburton4444]

I read your story a couple of weeks ago and wasn't going to post here until I read Trainable's comment tonight. I agree. You need to publish this story, if not for you, then for the thousands who haven't read it yet.

I was actually sent to this site to read your thread by one of my readers, and I have to say I wasn't disappointed. I even blogged a review of your story on my site last month. The point is, your story is exceptional. It would be a shame to let it drop off the active section of this BBS in the next few weeks or months. It has so many useful lessons for anyone living a similar life. I know because I lived and wrote a similar story more than ten years ago. I kept getting requests until I finally put it up on Amazon last year. You'd be surprised, it's not that hard to do. And you can remain anonymous. I have.

Or if you like, I'll edit it and post it to my blog where it'll hit the search engines and have a longer life.

Either way, let me know if I can help.

Jack of Hearts

[Mia]

I read your story a couple of weeks ago and wasn't going to post here until I read Trainable's comment tonight. I agree. You need to publish this story, if not for you, then for the thousands who haven't read it yet.

I was actually sent to this site to read your thread by one of my readers, and I have to say I wasn't disappointed. I even blogged a review of your story on my site last month. The point is, your story is exceptional. It would be a shame to let it drop off the active section of this BBS in the next few weeks or months. It has so many useful lessons for anyone living a similar life. I know because I lived and wrote a similar story more than ten years ago. I kept getting requests until I finally put it up on Amazon last year. You'd be surprised, it's not that hard to do. And you can remain anonymous. I have.

Or if you like, I'll edit it and post it to my blog where it'll hit the search engines and have a longer life.

Either way, let me know if I can help.

Jack of Hearts

Welcome to OHW, jackburton4444.



Mia

[Wistful]

It really is a small, small world. I happened to have read Jack Burton's book "How to Make Love Die" a couple of weeks ago. Found it on the table in the snack bar of Sea Mountain Inn (a nude lifestyle spa in Desert Springs CA)--an autographed copy inscribed to Dewey, a proprietor of SMI. And the reason my wife and I found ourselves relaxing at SMI was that OHW member Darslangly had happened to recommend SMI in an OHW personals post, and we'd actually followed his unsolicited (and good) advice. Anyway, the title and inscription were intriguing, I picked it up, and skimmed it cover to cover right there by the pool. A HW tale almost as sad as Curious Dave (maybe not quite, since you know how his story will end by the title, and Curious Dave unexpectedly upended me--I was that invested following Dave's story.) I recall at the time thinking these two were birds of a feather and should commiserate together. And all by happenstance.

[jackburton4444]

Thank you Mia. I've lurked on this thread the last few weeks. It's time I came out.

And yes, Trainable, we were at Sea Mountain that same day. It's one of our favorite places. Which brings up an important point Dave may need to hear right now. Over the years I've shared both of my wives as well as my current partner of the last 10 years. Though I won't bring her into this discussion, let me just say there IS happiness after such devastation. We DO love again. It's just human nature.

And though you too saw the comparisons, I believe my story is much different than Dave's. Though I can understand it on some level, I don't appreciate the whole cuck aspect of wife sharing. For me it's more about the honest and respectful compersion for someone you love. I think my story was more about the voyeurism and trying to understand that shift in loyalty that sometimes occurs. It's sad, but it happens whether you're part of the process or not, so you might as well try to honestly be part of their life for as long as you're still enjoying the good parts. I think Dave has expressed this very well in his most recent posts. Which brings me to my final point.

I think Dave's a better writer.

Jack

[allengt]

Welcome to the forum Jack.

Here's the links to Jack Burton's book How to Make Love Die.

Paperback link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/ ... =our017-20


Kindle link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/ ... =our017-20

[aldada]

Is Jenna's mother still married?

[jackburton4444]

Thanks OHW Addict, but if you just want to compare writing styles, I've posted the first 80 pages here in three parts:

http://howtomakelovedie.blogspot.com/

[allengt]

Thanks OHW Addict, but if you just want to compare writing styles, I've posted the first 80 pages here in three parts:

http://howtomakelovedie.blogspot.com/

You should look at your username and what it says below it and then look at OHW Addict and what it says above it. I read those pages before I posted those links.

[wingman]

Hey Dave -

do you have any update on how your doing, how is Jenna doing?

[curiousdave]

Hey guys and girls. Sorry for my absence again. I have been very busy (in a good way). I have been going to a physical therapist for my back, the gym for some very structured and safe weight lifting (put a few pounds of muscle back on YAY!) and I actually went on a date this past Friday. It was a double date with a friend of mine. He set it up and it was one of those "blind dates" I have always heard about but never dreamed of doing myself. I hate the idea of meeting someone you never saw or spoke too only to find out you aren't attracted at all and then you are stuck for the entire evening. Well it wasn't so bad I guess. She was cute and decently interesting. She seemed to like me so that's a good thing. She's a tiny little red head that works with my buddy's girlfriend. She has a good job , a cute face and is so petite it's not even funny. Even in my shrunken state I felt like I was so big compared to her. Also after being with Jen for so long and being almost the same height it felt so weird, but it was cool.

We didn't do much. Just met for dinner then went back to my friend's house to watch a movie. The night ended fairly early with no kiss or anything like that. Just a friendly first date (if there will be a second)? We got each others numbers and we texted once or twice yesterday. I'm not sure right now how I feel about it all. I guess it's just a first step sort of thing, no reason to over think it. That's what my friend says anyway and I agree. Oh before anyone may ask, my relationship or break up with Jenna was never discussed but my friend says she knows the basics. Luckily she didn't bring it up cause I really wouldn't have wanted to talk about it.

I have been in contact less and less with Jen. It has not been easy and I have had to force it. I have avoided calling and texting her and I even ignored one or two of hers. When I finally got back to her she seemed a tad annoyed with me. I never have ignored her as long as she's known me so I guess it really hit a button with her. To be honest it felt good to see her annoyed. I felt sort of strong being able to get that reaction. And strong is something I haven't felt in a long time. I still am consumed by her and think of her a lot. Masturbating to her image or thought quite frequently still. But I am gradually breaking free of her hold I think. I know it sounds like I am full of shit saying I frequently jack off thinking about her/them and then in the next breath saying I am breaking free. But it feels as if I am ( a little ). I just don't think about it as much as I once did and it's now a little less intense.

One thing that did happen that bothered me and caused my new found "strength" if you can call it that is, the day after Valentines she texted me and said she wanted to show me something. She was very secretive about it and wanted to know when I'd be home. Later in the day her and her girlfriend dropped by. What she wanted to show me was her new BMW that he bought her as a Valentines gift. Now I understand she was very proud and excited and part of me felt special that she wanted to include me in her excitement. But DAMN man, I think that was pretty insensitive. First of all it was extremely uncomfortable since she brought her girlfriend with her (her knowing all the circumstances of everything). Secondly it only made me feel "less a man" since he gave her something I never could...again. A fucking 60 thousand dollar car for a Valentines gift! Fucking come on! She was dying to give me a ride in it but I declined saying I was running late and had to be somewhere (she knew that was a lie I could tell). She knew I was hurt and pissed and sent several texts saying she was sorry if she made me feel bad. Said that wasn't her intention and she only wanted to show me her car and to see me also. I played it off and acted like it wasn't a big deal but like I said she knows the truth. I kind of wonder thinking about it now if it was actually meant to hurt me in some way. I mean it seems pretty boldly "in your face" in my opinion.

Well since then our contact has gotten less and less. She's not calling me as much either. I think she knows how that hurt me. Hopefully she feels bad in some way.


Oh back to the date. My friend said she told her friend I was cute and she wouldn't mind seeing me again. I haven't decided what I'm gonna do, we'll see I guess. I'll probably ask her out again, just not sure when. I don't want to come off desperate or needy.

My back is steadily improving (Thank God) and I am feeling more and more like my old self. I still have some days where I feel more cripple than others but all in all I can't complain.

Ok guys that's it for now. I'll keep you informed about the new girl when and if anything happens. Thanks again everyone for being here and listening!

[susanshusband]

Positive news Dave, thanks for sharing. I like how you are denying Jen access to you and suggest you keep this up. I would not share any of your emotional ups and downs either. It is not surprising that she would do something this insensitive and you were right not to cut her any slack. I hope you find enjoyment getting out there again and Jen gets jealous realizing she has lost the real love of her life.

[CuckedIn67]

I am happy to hear you are mending Dave, both physically and mentally. I'm sure Jen is a great loss to you and that she did not mean to hurt you by showing her car. But, it still had that effect and I agree with how you have slowly pulled away from her more. I hope you and your new lady friend hit it off and become good friends because that is a positive start in a new life.

[wantingfun]

Dave, please take this positively as I have your best interests in mind. Jenna was either insensitive or outright evil to bring the car over to you. In either case, she did not exercise good judgement. I think you are starting to see the person she really is: selfish and shallow. I had a girlfriend like that one time, and now I am so glad that we broke it off.

I encourage you to date more than one person and to keep your contact with Jenna as limited as possible. Dating others will give you a healthier perspective of all women, and limiting your contact will help assure that your dating is not sabotaged (consciously or unconsciously) by Jenna. Good luck!

[Niblick]

Thanks for the update. Keep your chin up kid!

[ixnayuserk]

Dave,
You're definitely entitled to avoid Jen as much as you want. In fact, based on your writing, I'd say you can do better (lots of people can't write for crap).

I'd say take the redhead miniature golfing. Brag about how great your shots will be, and razz each other when they're not, perfect 2nd date.

Sometime told me if you remarry within two years of a divorce, you'll marry the same person again without knowing it, so you might want to trust fix-ups more than your instincts at this point.

Best of luck regardless, and thanks for the great posts.

[mopacpower]

Good to hear from you, great news on the date, get out and go fishing, lots of fish in the sea. Even Limpet found himself a girlfriend.(Hope you get that ref.) Keep up the physical therapy, swimming is great exercise!

I'm very glad that you are distancing yourself from her, and she is moving away from you also. Eventually she will only see you on Christmas, Easter, and Other holidays, make sure you take a date when you visit.

OK, Dad is loaded New Business and New Car! Did he buy her the lake house, too? AND Yes, it is insensitive.(I had another word but kept it PG)
I wonder if showing you her car was her idea or her girlfriends, showing off what her MAN got her AND yes it was salt in the wound, good reaction on your part.

You might get some new porn to play with and quit thinking of them when you play. Or you could start playing online gaming, like WOW that will take up your freetime fast.

Good Luck on the new girl. She knows your backstory call her! and Keep getting healthy.

[roadrunner]

...
Eventually she will only see you on Christmas, Easter, and Other holidays, make sure you take a date when you visit.
...

Hire a hot looking escort, if you can afford it!

[allengt]

...
Eventually she will only see you on Christmas, Easter, and Other holidays, make sure you take a date when you visit.
...

Hire a hot looking escort, if you can afford it!

And make sure Jenna sees you with her.

[wingman]

Dave -

Glad to hear your physical condition is improving. Take it slow!!!!!
In fact, continuing to fantasize about Jenn and your Dad may be helping with your recovery, as trying to impress a new lover may lead to re-injury. Be careful of re-injury... its easy to do, and can be a real mind-fuck!!!

I had mentioned to you a long time ago, the best way to get over old-P is new-P. I am happy to see you starting down this path and hope you continue this "mental/physical" mending as well !! Bottom line.. date as much as you ca ..

Also, I agree with the comment, from another poster, that you should hire a smoking hot escort for your next holiday. Tell Jenn that she is a friend of someone at work who had been jilted by her spouse, so you guys became friends, then friends-with-benefits Have the escort tell Jenn (when they are alone) that you and her are becoming close and she is thinking of you two getting more exclusive.

OK... this next part may seem a bit vindictive.... OK it is.... and even if you don't seriously consider it.... it might be fun to think through how it could play out........

Before the holiday "date", talk to the escort about something really fun. Tell her to put the moves on your Dad (my guess is he might not be able to resist the chance to take a 2nd one away from you). A pro should be able to seduce 'dear ole Dad' away from Jenn. Who knows, if the escort thinks she can get diamonds, cars, etc, then she might be willing to take it further than the single holiday 'date'. Or she might know someone willing to play the game with you.

O... and if Dad does dump Jenn for your escort, take her back (but only if you can handle this and what comes next). Next??? Get Jenn to sign the BMW over to you!! Then start dating again and find someone worthy of you. Until you find your new partner, let Jenn give you those handjobs (remember, keeping your back health needs to remain a priority).

OK enough of the payback fantasy...... may not be realistic, but fun to toy with.

Back to reality....if you can't get to a point where your willing to 'be with'/use Jenn (or at least not allow her to use you), then I would recommend you continue with your current path and cut ties to the extent possible.

By the way.... have you talked to your Dad about this in any detail ?? I am curious how he is justifying accepting Jenn? Perhaps if you lay a guilt trip on him, he will loan you Jenn's hand while you continue your recovery After all, aren't parents (even step) suppose to help their kids through rough times?

Good luck Dave... and keep us posted!!!! We are all rooting for you!!

[germancuck-1]

Hey guys and girls. Sorry for my absence again. I have been very busy (in a good way). I have been going to a physical therapist for my back, the gym for some very structured and safe weight lifting (put a few pounds of muscle back on YAY!) and I actually went on a date this past Friday. It was a double date with a friend of mine. He set it up and it was one of those "blind dates" I have always heard about but never dreamed of doing myself. I hate the idea of meeting someone you never saw or spoke too only to find out you aren't attracted at all and then you are stuck for the entire evening. Well it wasn't so bad I guess. She was cute and decently interesting. She seemed to like me so that's a good thing. She's a tiny little red head that works with my buddy's girlfriend. She has a good job , a cute face and is so petite it's not even funny. Even in my shrunken state I felt like I was so big compared to her. Also after being with Jen for so long and being almost the same height it felt so weird, but it was cool.

We didn't do much. Just met for dinner then went back to my friend's house to watch a movie. The night ended fairly early with no kiss or anything like that. Just a friendly first date (if there will be a second)? We got each others numbers and we texted once or twice yesterday. I'm not sure right now how I feel about it all. I guess it's just a first step sort of thing, no reason to over think it. That's what my friend says anyway and I agree. Oh before anyone may ask, my relationship or break up with Jenna was never discussed but my friend says she knows the basics. Luckily she didn't bring it up cause I really wouldn't have wanted to talk about it.

I have been in contact less and less with Jen. It has not been easy and I have had to force it. I have avoided calling and texting her and I even ignored one or two of hers. When I finally got back to her she seemed a tad annoyed with me. I never have ignored her as long as she's known me so I guess it really hit a button with her. To be honest it felt good to see her annoyed. I felt sort of strong being able to get that reaction. And strong is something I haven't felt in a long time. I still am consumed by her and think of her a lot. Masturbating to her image or thought quite frequently still. But I am gradually breaking free of her hold I think. I know it sounds like I am full of shit saying I frequently jack off thinking about her/them and then in the next breath saying I am breaking free. But it feels as if I am ( a little ). I just don't think about it as much as I once did and it's now a little less intense.

One thing that did happen that bothered me and caused my new found "strength" if you can call it that is, the day after Valentines she texted me and said she wanted to show me something. She was very secretive about it and wanted to know when I'd be home. Later in the day her and her girlfriend dropped by. What she wanted to show me was her new BMW that he bought her as a Valentines gift. Now I understand she was very proud and excited and part of me felt special that she wanted to include me in her excitement. But DAMN man, I think that was pretty insensitive. First of all it was extremely uncomfortable since she brought her girlfriend with her (her knowing all the circumstances of everything). Secondly it only made me feel "less a man" since he gave her something I never could...again. A fucking 60 thousand dollar car for a Valentines gift! Fucking come on! She was dying to give me a ride in it but I declined saying I was running late and had to be somewhere (she knew that was a lie I could tell). She knew I was hurt and pissed and sent several texts saying she was sorry if she made me feel bad. Said that wasn't her intention and she only wanted to show me her car and to see me also. I played it off and acted like it wasn't a big deal but like I said she knows the truth. I kind of wonder thinking about it now if it was actually meant to hurt me in some way. I mean it seems pretty boldly "in your face" in my opinion.

Well since then our contact has gotten less and less. She's not calling me as much either. I think she knows how that hurt me. Hopefully she feels bad in some way.


Oh back to the date. My friend said she told her friend I was cute and she wouldn't mind seeing me again. I haven't decided what I'm gonna do, we'll see I guess. I'll probably ask her out again, just not sure when. I don't want to come off desperate or needy.

My back is steadily improving (Thank God) and I am feeling more and more like my old self. I still have some days where I feel more cripple than others but all in all I can't complain.

Ok guys that's it for now. I'll keep you informed about the new girl when and if anything happens. Thanks again everyone for being here and listening!

This episode with her new car shows Jen in a VERY weird light, to put it mildly. May she didn´t want to hurt you on purpose, but the simple fact that she apparently was unable to foresee the effect this must have on you given the situation makes her appear emotionally color blind.

[HerLittleGuy]

Let's not forget Dave & Jenna's relationship up to now... how Jenna's always been keen to share her newfound excitement and good-fortune with her 'best friend' and partner. From her perspective, who better to share her present with than her good ol' Dave?

I think that Dave's sensible reaction gave Jenna a good dose of reality.

Also, Dave needs to stay 'real' at this stage... he doesn't need to grab some glitz or glam just to rub it in Jenna's face. It seems juvenile, and the 'accompishment' would probably feel hollow and empty. He needs to pick up and move on. His recent date, and the slow, normal cautious pace he's starting at is what's probably right for him. If warm feelings and a relationship ensues, so be it. It will at least be real. And this will be true for Jenna, too.

Thanks to Dave for continuing to share his life with us. Dave, I hope you continue to do so, and that you find some benefit for yourself and your future relationships in doing this.

hlg

[Stargeezer]

Dave,

Good to see you are recovering, all around, and thanks for keeping us updated, we want to see you healthy and well after all this. As many here on OHW have said before (to many others), the best revenge is moving on to a life well lived. Move on, live well, and remember the good parts, forget the rest. Easy enough to say I suppose, but some of us have walked this road, it can be done, just takes time.

I have thought for some time now what I would say to Jenna were it me in your shoes. This is of course just me venting vicariously.

to Jenna:

1 - You missed the whole point. It was about taking fire play close to the edge but sharing the experience and then stepping back for a breather to remember about us. That you left me for the man of your dreams says: a- I was never that man, and b- it would have eventually happened anyway, whether my stepdad or someone else later on. That you fell for someone else tells me you never understood how special my gift to you was, giving you the freedom to enjoy the company of others without repercussions to what we (supposedly) had together.

2 - While the game was on, it added to the experience, weird as it may seem, to put me in cuck space by showing me the gifts and evidence of pleasure that another man gave you. Now that what we had is destroyed, the fire walking game is over as well, and it is heartless and cruel to continue to rub my nose in it. If what you have gained is all you have to talk about, don't bother.

3 - I have learned much from this, much about myself, but much more about who you are. I am moving on to a life without you. I wish you well.


And to dear old Dad :

Best of luck ... Dad. You are of course aware that she walked out on her husband to "trade up". Don't think for a minute that you won't be subject to the same thing, it's just a matter of time before she meets another better man, and trades up again. Enjoy it while it lasts.

[Rebecca]

Dave I'm so proud of you! It makes me so happy to read your latest entry. You may not feel it fully right now, but your strength is returning. In time, I predict you will be an even stronger man when the storm has settled. Its going to be hard to put up these boundaries between you and Jenna, and you may stumble a few times, but I think you are on the right path. You handled these few situations with Jenna lately very well. Right now it may feel like you're forcing it, or faking it to lessen the contact with her, but trust me, eventually you won't have to think about it. It'll be a natural course of how this will play out. The blind date is great. You may see this new girl again, or you may never see her again in your life. The point is, this blind double date happened and you got a lot of positivity out of it.

Again, I am so so so proud of you! I wish you well and I'm fully confident that strength of your's will be in peak condition before you know it