A virtual cuckold?

[whosbeensleeping]

I don't have much to say, except - wow! Also I'm glad you have this outlet as a sounding board.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm not sure if that's a good wow or bad wow but yes I think it's helpful to write out some stuff.

Yesterday was pretty rough with feeling pulled back in. I found that she hadn't talked to her online person for 2 days. While I had been clear on my direction I was starting to doubt and feel confused again. That was until I found out that it wasn't because of some change of heart on my wife's part. It was because they had a fight over my wife taking a few hours off on Sunday to go to the beach with me. Seems her online person got mad (even though she knows nothing about me) and they stopped talking.

That's why we can never do anything, and if we do it has to be planned out far in advance. Absolutely zero spontaneity.

I'm glad I resisted and didn't let myself get pulled back. Wife has now apologised to her and seems things are back to normal (well it's totally not normal, but it's the way it's been).

So having sorted that out, she no longer wanted to go to the park and I didn't have to say she wasn't welcome. Phew.

L wasn't there again, but the young couple were back. The girl (who is extremely attractive by the way) was being very friendly towards me. I'm not sure if it was just being nice to get to know me, or was it some kind of test to see how I would handle things. I think I did OK either way. I was friendly but not overly so.

[whosbeensleeping]

I meant wow, that's a lot happening!
Seems like you are continuing to find your way on a dark and rocky trail, with some potential bright points. Much of what you recount reminds me of similar past difficulties of my own.
I was also thinking that the path of meditation and prayer is likely the one that will guide you through things best.
Normally I would suggest again to confront her in very definitive terms about your knowledge of her actions, but if you no longer want to salvage things then there's no point in holding out false hope to her.
As I read somewhere, "Ultimately, it's important to remember that you have the right to make decisions that are in your best interest and prioritize your own well-being."

[newaussiecuck]

I meant wow, that's a lot happening!
Seems like you are continuing to find your way on a dark and rocky trail, with some potential bright points. Much of what you recount reminds me of similar past difficulties of my own.
I was also thinking that the path of meditation and prayer is likely the one that will guide you through things best.
Normally I would suggest again to confront her in very definitive terms about your knowledge of her actions, but if you no longer want to salvage things then there's no point in holding out false hope to her.
As I read somewhere, "Ultimately, it's important to remember that you have the right to make decisions that are in your best interest and prioritize your own well-being."

Looking back and reflecting I can put together things that always troubled me. That no matter what I did, it was never good enough. I could just never seem to make her happy. If I'm of wrong gender for her, that would explain a lot. There were signs I guess. No dresses, no jewellery, no pink or other typical feminine things. Never dreaming of getting married when she was a young girl.

I think she's been too embarassed to talk about it with me, which explains why I can never get her to talk. I think in reality she left me 3 to 4 years ago, but just didn’t tell me. I guess she did in her own way, but I wouldn't accept it.

I don't think confronting her about her online relationship will help as she's made it very obvious all along. It's the literal elephant in the room. If I force her to end it, it won't solve the underlying problems. Only she can decide to end it on her own. She's felt me moving away a few times now, seen me angry about it and even seen me cry and still no signs of her ending the online relationship. Having someone will help her if/when we do end things, so I also don't want to take that away from her.

If things do move forward with L (and remember I haven't seen her for 8 days now and with no way to contact her), then I intend to tell her early enough so that I guess if she has a genuine wakeup and genuinely wants to make things right, then maybe after a LOT of real thruthful discussions then maybe it could be possible. I wouldn't take her words lightly though, it would have to be REAL.

Yes prayer and meditation helps, and it's funny beceuse I know that L takes meditation classes.

I do hope I see L soon, it's feeling like quite a long time now but I can say that it has been useful to reflect while having space. Whether it's true or if I'm just imagining it, it does help to think of having someone around at the park who is connected with her. Since at least Saturday I believe there could have been such a person or people each time.

At least I managed to get a pretty decent sleep last night.

[newaussiecuck]

Wife has been annoyingly on her best behaviour, cooking, cleaning, doing housework and acting all happy and trying to boost my mood. Computer thing is still going on though and loungeroom door is closed again as I write this. This is what I predicted and need to be on guard against. It can feel real, but I've been tricked many times before. It stops as soon as she feels comfortable that I'm not about to up and leave.

Park was much the same pattern, no L but there was even more new people from same country of origin showing up with their dogs and seeming excited to see my dog and comments like "She is the best dog here" again seems a little odd for firstcomers. The young lady from the young couple was there again, except this time with 3 young kids instead of her boyfriend. Might have been her sisters. She's been there everyday this week except for the 1 day that the couple who could have been L's parents were there. Could she possibly be L's cousin? It was also very interesting to note the way the boyfriend acted the few times he was there. Hanging back and kind of just standing by while she interacted with me. Also, L's brother hasn't been back since all these other random people started showing up.

If I'm not completely barking up the wrong tree, I could have met her entire extended family before seeing L again. Is this actually happening??? To be clear, I think what is happening is that her family is checking me out and kind of vetting me before L is allowed to start "dating" me.

9 days now since I've seen L, hopefully she'll come this weekend. Luckily the last time I saw her left me on such a high, has had to carry me for quite a while. 9 days is such a long time for such a fledgling potential relationship. Remember I've only seen her a grand total of 6 times. It was only on the 4th time that I came to realise there was interest there, and by that time I had already met her brother twice (I thought he was her partner until that got corrected. It was very important that I realised he was her brother and not her partner).

I guess what I am saying is that although it sounds very strange that I could have met so much of her family already, and so early, it is in keeping with what happened with her brother. It's also in keeping with what I've heard happens culturally. It feels like way too much of putting carts before horses to me, but I guess it is what it is.

Need to remember to breathe. Can all feel a bit much especially while wife is acting the way she is. Making me feel pretty torn. I just need to remember to consider the last 3 years (and what happened with my surgery and with my dad) and not just consider these last few days.

[whosbeensleeping]

If she's interested in you even just as a person, L will likely be back.
Breathing is a good thing, lol.
I feel for you and your dilemma. It's definitely a good idea to prioritise self-care.

[newaussiecuck]

If she's interested in you even just as a person, L will likely be back.
Breathing is a good thing, lol.
I feel for you and your dilemma. It's definitely a good idea to prioritise self-care.

Thank you, I'm in a pretty bad pickle. I already have started getting strong feelings for L, and this absense isn't helping one bit. Just need a bit of resolution.

Wife asked to come to the park with me yesterday. I firmly said no. As you can imahine it didnt go down well. I told her that you never wanted to come for 2 years, and the few times you came you didnt want to stay more than 10 minutes. I said she doesn't enjoy it. I told her that I need to have friends of my own. She complained that she's not allowed to see my friends and I told her that I'm not allowed to know anything about her online friends. I think that sat her back.

She's not used to me being this forceful. It hurt her and it hurt me for hurting her, but fuck it she can't just snap her fingers and expect me to come running. I'm beyond hurt about this whole thing.

As a result, yesterday and today have been pretty uncomfortable and I got no sleep again last night.

However, this morning wife initiated and had sex with me for first time in months. I guess she was happy about it, but I can't say it really improved my mood. You can't just fix things with sex and expect all is good. Maybe just a start.

Wife hasn't been on computer yesterday or today that I can see. Maybe she's got the message but too early to tell if it starts back up again. Wouldn't be surprised it's just because the lady is on holidays or something for Easter.

I feel really awful, buf I think I have a right to insist on keeping the one thing that has brought me joy and gotten me through a really tough time.

What a mess.

[whosbeensleeping]

Sounds like a rough couple days.
I'm sure your assessment of her motivation is accurate.
Keep taking care of yourself.
Boundaries are a good thing.

[Long Lurker 34]

If she's interested in you even just as a person, L will likely be back.
Breathing is a good thing, lol.
I feel for you and your dilemma. It's definitely a good idea to prioritise self-care.

Thank you, I'm in a pretty bad pickle. I already have started getting strong feelings for L, and this absense isn't helping one bit. Just need a bit of resolution.

Wife asked to come to the park with me yesterday. I firmly said no. As you can imahine it didnt go down well. I told her that you never wanted to come for 2 years, and the few times you came you didnt want to stay more than 10 minutes. I said she doesn't enjoy it. I told her that I need to have friends of my own. She complained that she's not allowed to see my friends and I told her that I'm not allowed to know anything about her online friends. I think that sat her back.

She's not used to me being this forceful. It hurt her and it hurt me for hurting her, but fuck it she can't just snap her fingers and expect me to come running. I'm beyond hurt about this whole thing.

As a result, yesterday and today have been pretty uncomfortable and I got no sleep again last night.

However, this morning wife initiated and had sex with me for first time in months. I guess she was happy about it, but I can't say it really improved my mood. You can't just fix things with sex and expect all is good. Maybe just a start.

Wife hasn't been on computer yesterday or today that I can see. Maybe she's got the message but too early to tell if it starts back up again. Wouldn't be surprised it's just because the lady is on holidays or something for Easter.

I feel really awful, buf I think I have a right to insist on keeping the one thing that has brought me joy and gotten me through a really tough time.

What a mess.

NAC - Perhaps you standing up for yourself forcefully made her have a pause of thought and she has started looking at you from a different perspective.

[newaussiecuck]

Yes. I think so probably. We did go to a park yesterday that I used to go to alone back in 2020 during lockdown. I could never get her to come no matter how hard I tried. Yesterday we went even though the weather was shitty and we got rained on.

I think she got a clear message that someone else is maybe in the picture. At first I thought that was bad but now that things have settled down I'm glad and could help to reveal what path is next. If she goes back to the computer we're done! Computer has been closed for 3 days (during Easter, so online partner is likely away), but I've noted that it hasn't been packed away either. If she was done with it I'd expect some kind of statement or showing it's packed away. We'll see.

If I do move on with L, then the other day's shock would be a more gentle lead in.

Plus it's shown her and myself that I can stand on my own 2 feet now.

It was hard, but needed to be done and probably for the best.

[newaussiecuck]

Feeling the worst kind of aweful, we've both been pretty miserable last few days but not talking about it.

I'm hurting because I hurt her the other day. She's hurting because I hurt her, probably feeling bad/guilty for hurting me and maybe considering whether to stop or continue her online thing. The computer has remained off but still setup in living room. She's spending most of her time in bed.

I guess she had decided to spend a nice Easter long weekend with me, but I rejected her (by telling her she couldn't come to the park). Problem is I've spent so long being rejected and pushed away it's hard to suddenly feel like everything's OK and we're back on. I do need time to adjust and build trust again before I could let her close to me again.With feeling like it was just a one off thing, I couldn't let her jeapordise a potential future relationship with L when she had shown every indication for 2.5 years that she didn't want me. I would have done anything or gone anywhere with her, but I couldn't let L see me with her until I had more clarity on which path to take. At the moment one path isn't clear to be an option, and the other path could lead to the same hurt and problems I've had this last few years. Can I stay with someone who could so easily and thoroughly cast me aside for so long and miss being there for me during major once in a lifetime events?

The more I think about it, the more certain I am that I met L's parents that day last week. There is a reasonably unique aspect about L that this couple (who could pass for her parents) also matches. I'm fairly certain it was them.

If might sound strange, but potentially having her family's approval would make it a lot easier to consider moving down that path. It kind of means a fair bit to me, less likely to be taking a shot in the dark if her family has also carefully considered our compatibility beforehand.

Long story short, I'm stuck in limbo and hurting quite a bit. Today marks exactly 2 weeks since I last saw L.

[newaussiecuck]

Is it real, or just more tricks and manipulation? Why do I now feel so sad and guilty when I've gone so far above and beyond anything I should have been expected to do over this last 2.5 years or so.

I did say that I should be prepared for all out psychological warfare. She's used sex, playing victim, cold shoulder, doing LOTS of extra housework and also making a point of showing she's sad and not on the computer by mostly staying in bed. I think it's been left there as a reminder that the chair is empty whenever I walk past. Remember she can just use her phone. She could even tell her online friend that her computer is busted at the moment and not able to be on much for a while.

Even the fact that I'm having these thoughts about her intentions is probably some strong red flags.

I didn't go to the park with any intention to pick up women. In fact I pleaded with her to come with me so many times which would have prevented such an occurrence. People obviously noticed my lack of partner and assumed rightly that somthing was wrong at home. I haven't written this before, but I'm suspecting that meeting L wasn't entirely by accident. I do have a feeling that maybe a mutual friend suggested she go to meet me. I have a strong suspicion about who this person was. Long readers of this thread might be able to guess who. I have quite a few clues that could point to that. Someone who once thought I was pretty good but is no longer available. Someone who knew I might be approachable. Someone who has suddenly been around quite a lot a few weeks before meeting L and after, but who has been keeping distant.

I do wish I actually had a contact for L, and not relying on bumping into her there. It's getting difficult to keep going, but again why should I have to give up the 1 thing that's gotten me through all the crap she's put me through. As I also said, I do need friends of my own. Wife hates that though, she's always kept me from having ftiends of my own. It doesn't seem healthy to be that way.

I guess wife's tactics are working since I'm now starting to feel like I shouldn't be going to the park.

[whosbeensleeping]

Feeling the worst kind of aweful, we've both been pretty miserable last few days but not talking about it.

I'm hurting because I hurt her the other day. She's hurting because I hurt her, probably feeling bad/guilty for hurting me and maybe considering whether to stop or continue her online thing. The computer has remained off but still setup in living room. She's spending most of her time in bed.

I guess she had decided to spend a nice Easter long weekend with me, but I rejected her (by telling her she couldn't come to the park). Problem is I've spent so long being rejected and pushed away it's hard to suddenly feel like everything's OK and we're back on. I do need time to adjust and build trust again before I could let her close to me again.With feeling like it was just a one off thing, I couldn't let her jeapordise a potential future relationship with L when she had shown every indication for 2.5 years that she didn't want me. I would have done anything or gone anywhere with her, but I couldn't let L see me with her until I had more clarity on which path to take. At the moment one path isn't clear to be an option, and the other path could lead to the same hurt and problems I've had this last few years. Can I stay with someone who could so easily and thoroughly cast me aside for so long and miss being there for me during major once in a lifetime events?

The more I think about it, the more certain I am that I met L's parents that day last week. There is a reasonably unique aspect about L that this couple (who could pass for her parents) also matches. I'm fairly certain it was them.

If might sound strange, but potentially having her family's approval would make it a lot easier to consider moving down that path. It kind of means a fair bit to me, less likely to be taking a shot in the dark if her family has also carefully considered our compatibility beforehand.

Long story short, I'm stuck in limbo and hurting quite a bit. Today marks exactly 2 weeks since I last saw L.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's a long time in romantic time, but not necessarily in dog park time, which is unpredictable.

Whatever happens with that potential, you are by no means obliged to resume something you no longer want, just because your wife is feeling guilty or something. No need to beat yourself up.

The one thing to avoid at all costs is sentimentality. What was once there is no longer. Could something new replace it? Possibly, but the sentiments you are expressing are very telling. The thing about marital counseling and repair is that both parties have to truly want it.

I suspect that L will reappear at some point before too long.

[whosbeensleeping]

Is it real, or just more tricks and manipulation? Why do I now feel so sad and guilty when I've gone so far above and beyond anything I should have been expected to do over this last 2.5 years or so.

I did say that I should be prepared for all out psychological warfare. She's used sex, playing victim, cold shoulder, doing LOTS of extra housework and also making a point of showing she's sad and not on the computer by mostly staying in bed. I think it's been left there as a reminder that the chair is empty whenever I walk past. Remember she can just use her phone. She could even tell her online friend that her computer is busted at the moment and not able to be on much for a while.

Even the fact that I'm having these thoughts about her intentions is probably some strong red flags.

I didn't go to the park with any intention to pick up women. In fact I pleaded with her to come with me so many times which would have prevented such an occurrence. People obviously noticed my lack of partner and assumed rightly that somthing was wrong at home. I haven't written this before, but I'm suspecting that meeting L wasn't entirely by accident. I do have a feeling that maybe a mutual friend suggested she go to meet me. I have a strong suspicion about who this person was. Long readers of this thread might be able to guess who. I have quite a few clues that could point to that. Someone who once thought I was pretty good but is no longer available. Someone who knew I might be approachable. Someone who has suddenly been around quite a lot a few weeks before meeting L and after, but who has been keeping distant.

I do wish I actually had a contact for L, and not relying on bumping into her there. It's getting difficult to keep going, but again why should I have to give up the 1 thing that's gotten me through all the crap she's put me through. As I also said, I do need friends of my own. Wife hates that though, she's always kept me from having ftiends of my own. It doesn't seem healthy to be that way.

I guess wife's tactics are working since I'm now starting to feel like I shouldn't be going to the park.

Without applying a specific label, it sounds to me like your wife is mentally unwell. I speak from experience. For that reason I think you will need an ally, and a (good) counsellor might be of use that way in validating and checking your impressions. I know that some will see people on the downlow over the phone say during a person's lunch break. (Edit: apparently it's common for people to phone from their cars.) Just a thought.
I hear what you're saying about the friend. All kinds of wheels may be turning in the background. Could be the case. Wishing you luck.

[newaussiecuck]

Without applying a specific label, it sounds to me like your wife is mentally unwell. I speak from experience. For that reason I think you will need an ally, and a (good) counsellor might be of use that way in validating and checking your impressions. I know that some will see people on the downlow over the phone say during a person's lunch break. (Edit: apparently it's common for people to phone from their cars.) Just a thought.
I hear what you're saying about the friend. All kinds of wheels may be turning in the background. Could be the case. Wishing you luck.

Thank you, and yes I do think you might be right. My workplace does have a free counselling service which I used one time last year. I might contact them tomorrow. Whether they're good or not is hard to say but it's a start.

I did tell my boss last week that things are going on at home and I told him some of it. That way they'll understand if there's periods that my work suffers. I took this job at a lower level so that I will have space to deal with this when it happened, as I knew that somthing would have to give. Going through this with a very tough and demanding job wouldn't be easy. This way my performance should likely still be acceptable even if not up to my usual high standards.

Wife now looks PISSED, going through a lot of emotions for sure. I do wish I didn't make the comment about how she wouldn't let me know anything about her friends she speaks with on the computer. It would have been easier if she kept up with it. I never told her to stop, but I think now she'll be resentful and pissed if she stops for me. That also doesn't bode well for the future if we stay together. A lot of resentment.

I think she will try and stop me from going to the park tonight. She might even try and take the dog from me to stop me. She was showing it SO much attention today which makes me wonder what she's planning. She's mad and planning somthing I can just tell. I think taking the dog from me to stop me going to the park might just do the trick, we'll see.

I still think I was justified in my actions, but am I copping her wrath for it now. I think she's missing her online friend and taking it out on me, plus probably angry I haven't apologised. Note that with L I haven't done anything but talk a few times, while wife was having explicit virtual sex with her online person. I'm not in the wrong here. I haven't physically touched her in any way, shape or form.

[whosbeensleeping]

A "white squall" may be headed your way, so better attach a line.

[newaussiecuck]

A "white squall" may be headed your way, so better attach a line.

Yeah, agreed. As long as it's consistent it's easier to cope with.

The thing is I've just been trying to do what I think any psychologist would say. Try and keep to routines and seek healthy ways to cope with what's been going on. I have been through hell but I never once reached for the bottle or drugs or run around town chasing women. Ok I guess I've now gotten interest in a woman who sought me out, but it's not for casual sex or a quick fling. It would be a more stable long term thing that could be nice for me. Plus she got my attention, not the other way around.

It's not my fault that my wife pushed me away and forced me to be able to live on my own. Now she can't stand it that I don't need her anymore. I used to need and be dependent on her, which is why it was so tough when she pulled the rug out from under my feet.

I've been remarkably calm and centered through it all, seeking solice outside in the fresh air surrounded by dogs and nice people. Taking up exercise and getting in shape. Standing on my own 2 feet and not getting pulled around by the whims of my wife.

[Long Lurker 34]

A "white squall" may be headed your way, so better attach a line.

Yeah, agreed. As long as it's consistent it's easier to cope with.

The thing is I've just been trying to do what I think any psychologist would say. Try and keep to routines and seek healthy ways to cope with what's been going on. I have been through hell but I never once reached for the bottle or drugs or run around town chasing women. Ok I guess I've now gotten interest in a woman who sought me out, but it's not for casual sex or a quick fling. It would be a more stable long term thing that could be nice for me. Plus she got my attention, not the other way around.

It's not my fault that my wife pushed me away and forced me to be able to live on my own. Now she can't stand it that I don't need her anymore. I used to need and be dependent on her, which is why it was so tough when she pulled the rug out from under my feet.

I've been remarkably calm and centered through it all, seeking solice outside in the fresh air surrounded by dogs and nice people. Taking up exercise and getting in shape. Standing on my own 2 feet and not getting pulled around by the whims of my wife.

NAC - With regards to your wife, she is reaping what she sowed and finding the crop unappealing.

[newaussiecuck]

Yes, I couldn't agree more. It just sucks that I have to also suffer yet again while she's reaping what she sowed. I'm most definitely hurting, but I did say I would need to steal myself for the "psychological warfare" that I knew was coming. It's been a full on assault!

I'm simply amazed at how well she's been able to turn things around to paint herself as the victim. Instead of accepting her fault of refusing to go to the park when I pleaded with her to go, she's now turned it around so that apparently she stayed home to cook our meals while I was off enjoying myself at the park. Problem is for most of the last 2.5 years I was doing all of the cooking and took the dog to the park while she sat on her ass in another relationship on her computer.

She's lying, rewriting history and gaslighting like there's no tomorrow. She's had also started to speak about taking trips away, and saying things like "we never go anywhere" and "you never want to do anything". Again I had pleaded to do things with her but she refused. Even more recently when she had started suggesting to do things she'd most often cancel.

Still no L at the park, but I have a feeling I maybe also met her grandfather last night. It's time of day for the after work crowd, I don't think I've ever seen an elderly person there at that time. They go usually during the day. So to coincidently have such a newcomer exactly 1 week after the day I think I met her parents. I admit this one is a stretch.

Again I think I'm right about the setup. One of the ladies recognised L's puppy by name when her brother brought her a few weeks ago. They had never met at the park before. This same lady I saw speaking with PG1.0 like old time friends, gossiping about what different people they know have been up to. Last night this same lady greeted me by name. I've never told her my name, and I have no clue of her name. So this lady knows PG, and recognised L's dog by name and somehow also knew my name. Interesting!

[whosbeensleeping]

Not entirely sure whether I should reply here or in PM, but here goes.
1. I hope you're documenting the entire affair. If things go to court that could be a very useful thing to have.
2. As one who has been on the receiving end of abusive behaviour, I will say that your wife is being abusive. Read up on verbal abuse. I have some good links if you want them. She also sounds like she has borderline personality disorder or something related.
3. Interesting stuff about the park community!

[newaussiecuck]

Not entirely sure whether I should reply here or in PM, but here goes.
1. I hope you're documenting the entire affair. If things go to court that could be a very useful thing to have.
2. As one who has been on the receiving end of abusive behaviour, I will say that your wife is being abusive. Read up on verbal abuse. I have some good links if you want them. She also sounds like she has borderline personality disorder or something related.
3. Interesting stuff about the park community!

Thank you, I do have some examples of things that she had written to her online person. I could also request a transcript from my therapy session about 7 months ago where I detailed what was happening. Mother in law has also seen her glued to computer when she visits, plus wife always stayed home when I visited her. Plus she didn't go to my dad's funeral.

Having said that, we have "no fault" divorce laws here so I don't think it would make much difference on outcome. I think she would get 50% of assets regardless.

I do have a question in regards to taking wife to the park. Bad idea yeah? Would that really ruin things with L, or would she understand regardless given she knows I'm married. Could it even increase my appeal to show I'm not just wearing a fake ring or something. Just thinking some like married guys yeah???

Just wanted some input on having wife go there as it would definitely settle tension at home. Or would giving wife this victory be bad?

[newaussiecuck]

Got a phone call from wife while at work, which is unusual. Sounding very sad and morose and it was pretty hard to hear. She was calling to ask what I wanted for dinner so she could get something out of the freezer.

I'm going to have to talk to her tonight. This can't continue on like this any longer. Not sure exactly what I'll say, but I might suggest marriage counselling. I will reassure her that I have always done right by her and haven't done anything with anyone behind her back.

I might even tell her that I met someone nice and have been torn about what to do since I've felt for a long time that she wanted to move on from me. However I would reassure that I have not and would not have done anything before speaking to her first.

Maybe a dose of brutal honesty is what's needed.
I probably won't say any of that though, and might leave it at the suggestion for marriage counseling.

I haven't slept properly for 2 weeks, somthing's gotta give.

[whosbeensleeping]

That doesn't like brutal honesty. Brutal honesty would be saying you know what's happening and how you know.
Telling her that other stuff sounds like a mistake to me. However you will do what you must.

[Long Lurker 34]

NAC - I wonder if her online 'relationship' fell apart and this is why she sort of turned to you?
Remember to breath.

[whosbeensleeping]

Sorry, I think my last comment was kind of rude. I wasn't in the greatest place myself when I made it.
However things play out it is your unique situation and burden to bear, and only you can chart the best course of action. I sincerely hope you're okay and wish you well.