Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[joel68]

Agree. Both of them think it would be hot with his friend. His friend is interested as well.

They should talk about this and how it will happen. Then after they agree on the ground rules, make it happen. All three of them will love it!

[user322]

Hi, anondesire,

I think you're asking yourself too many questions! That's what's causing your discomfort.

Learn to connect with your feelings rather than overthinking. Now that you've gone far with your girlfriend, there's no point in trying to control things. I think it's too late for that, and if you try, you'll probably fail and suffer.
Now is the time to dare to let go and let yourself go.
Live the experiences to the fullest, continue to communicate with your girlfriend, and give yourself time to see what it feels like to you. Not by thinking too much, but by simply feeling the sensations.
If all this isn't for you, you'll never feel pleasure. If you do feel pleasure, it's because you like it...

By talking with your girlfriend, you'll know what her limits are; you don't want to push each other. Don't be afraid to get lost or make mistakes. Tell yourself you're exploring something new! If you make a mistake, too bad, but maybe you'll enjoy the new experiences you discover.

Take more time to listen to yourself and take stock. Don't rush into things; that's the best way to make bad decisions.

Good luck!

[Bluetoed]

Part of me wants to break up with her, move away and reset myself, find a girl that doesn't need more than I can offer. Is that normal? But then my head decides that if I'm breaking up with her, I should experience my friend fucking her first and pretend that I broke up with her for cheating. I hate this.

Hotwives are not married to weak men. It takes an incredibly strong man to have a wife who can have it all. Monogamy is the cultural "norm" because most people are weak, and get emotionally crushed in a non-monogamous dynamic. If you are not strong enough for this, then the answer to your question of "is that normal?" is "yes, it's normal to not be strong enough for this dynamic".

The honest truth is most women would love to be hotwives if culture didn't set the precedent that monogamy should be what they desire. Most women's opinions on the dynamic are formed by culture, and not what they would really want if they didn't have external influences forming their opinion. In other words, you're not going to find a girl that doesn't need more than monogamy. Their need for non-monogamy is simply repressed by culture.

[wannabecUKold]

Part of me wants to break up with her, move away and reset myself, find a girl that doesn't need more than I can offer. Is that normal? But then my head decides that if I'm breaking up with her, I should experience my friend fucking her first and pretend that I broke up with her for cheating. I hate this.

I think we would all be very saddened if a break-up were to be the outcome of this journey. You two have a great line of communication and you have discovered a common sexual interest. It is quite rare.

I recognise that accepting where you are is hard and unnerving. You cannot tell where it will lead but the two of you seem to be very compatible even if there are differences (her sky-high sex drive, her need for large cocks). Once you have accepted your status and she knows she can have cock when she wants it, I suspect she will calm down. If she doesn't, you can say to her that you like where you two are, but you also want a proper boy-girl love relationship. Ask her to refocus for a while, if you feel that is right.

[anondesires]

Apologies for the tantrum yesterday, it feels only slightly more embarrassing than everything else I share on here. The truth is I feel lost and empty and I'm trying to make sense of it all. I worked late yesterday, didn't want to go home and face my girlfriend. I then decided I'd go to a bar and drown my sorrows but I ended up just walking around the streets for an hour or more.

I considered breaking up a lot, considered what it would be like finding someone else, how that would go. I realised that there's probably not a bunch of really tight girls out there that prefer small dick. I realised that most women would prefer me to be dominant too and I've been living a lie with that so far. I considered that vanilla would be boring. I considered that I might be lucky to find a woman that likes submissive men, I then realised that's essentially what I'm learning to deal with and half the reason I'm in this depression.

Walking around, the streets were full of happy memories with my girlfriend, I missed her, I realised she was what I needed, she'd know how to make me feel normal again, she always does. She'd messaged me a couple of times and I'd ignored her. I headed home, still sulking. She didn't ask questions, she could sense what was up and why. We cuddled for a while and watched TV. We made dinner together. We talked for a while, very little about sex. I admitted what I was feeling, how I'd thought about breaking up, she was upset to hear that but comforted me, reassured me that she was as in love with me as she ever has been and hoped I felt the same, I said I did.

We established that my male ego was just heavily dented. I admitted that my ego had been propped up by lies and false visions of what my life would be. She reassured me that us being together and happy was far more important to her than sex.

It was a night of lots of closeness and togetherness, it's what I needed and she knew it, she always knows what to do with these things. I still feel horrible but I don't feel alone with it and I'm not questioning whether she's right for me anymore.

Thanks for all the supportive messages, I'll try to reply to them when I'm feeling less sulky.

[elina]

Apologies for the tantrum yesterday, it feels only slightly more embarrassing than everything else I share on here. The truth is I feel lost and empty and I'm trying to make sense of it all.

Dear Anondesires,

There is absolutely NO need for you to apologize. We understand how challenging going through this process is for you,
You should expect to feel more ups and downs. But anyone who has attempted surfing knows: Unless there are no bottoms, there will be not tops, just flat boring water and no surfing what so ever. How boring would that be? Yes, I know, you may reply that you were hoping for a much more boring sex-life. But that option is probably gone now?

......
We established that my male ego was just heavily dented. I admitted that my ego had been propped up by lies and false visions of what my life would be. She reassured me that us being together and happy was far more important to her than sex.

It was a night of lots of closeness and togetherness, it's what I needed and she knew it, she always knows what to do with these things. I still feel horrible but I don't feel alone with it and I'm not questioning whether she's right for me anymore.

Thanks for all the supportive messages, I'll try to reply to them when I'm feeling less sulky.

I am so happy for you that you arrived at the conclusion you did.
And again, What an absolutely amazing Girlfriend you have!!!
This Lady has it all.

Maybe your time to encourage Her now, buy Her flowers, tell Her that you realize She is only trying to navigate both of you to a place where you can both be happy. Are you able today to tell Her that you fully accept that She needs to be free to fuck others and you accept that and want to support Her, and that you value Her ability to take care of you in that process as well.

It is incredibly rare to find a young Lady with this level of self-insight and compassion. This one is also a very beautiful and sexy young Lady, combine that with Her obvious intellect and I think you should consider yourself incredible lucky.

Sincerely
elina

[sucker00]

Anon,

This was exactly the kind of connection you and your GF needed to have and you are to be commended for being so open and honest with your GF. I don't think a couple can have he kind of relationship dynamic you're experiencing without the connection the two of you made. I hope your bond was strengthened with her in that time of honesty of vulnerability that you shared with one another.

[wannabecUKold]

Part of me wants to break up with her, move away and reset myself, find a girl that doesn't need more than I can offer. Is that normal? But then my head decides that if I'm breaking up with her, I should experience my friend fucking her first and pretend that I broke up with her for cheating. I hate this.

Please dont break up with her.
She really wants you, loves you, not just as a convenient cuckold or available bf but for you.
You would regret it.
Well done both of you for talking it out together.
Seems like you both have arrived at a good knowledge of yourself
Keep talking.

[anondesires]

One aspect of this is that you now are starting to fully accept yourself as you are. Like many others of us, we are far from able to satisfy our Girlfriends and Wives the way they want to be satisfied. We may try our best, and for long the Lady will accept us since She clearly perceives we are making our best efforts and She loves us for other reasons.

Your Girlfriend has now seen your cuckoldside, She has cuckolded you with an X with a huge cock and openly showed you how this provided Her with pleasure you can't give Her. She experienced the kind of Orgasms She craves while you watched and obviously was immensely sexually turned on by this. She has seen how you gradually changed your acceptance to this, how you gradually became more eager to satisfy Her by licking Her pussy.

She doesn't want to pretend any more. She needs this kind of sex, But at the same time, it is evident that She still loves you for who you are and want to keep you as Her partner.

All true, we discussed these last night, I'll make a separate post about last night.

I think there is a very high probability that after a short period of time, you will deeply regret leaving. You will remember this Lady for a long time, possibly the rest of your life. And besides, do you honestly believe you will have no cuckold desires once you enter a new relationship?

This was the conclusion I came to too.

Not saying this is easy for you no matter which route you choose, it is the end of the world for you, but that was a world based on not realizing some critical truths. Now you have the opportunity to grow in a new world build on full honesty between yourself and the Lady I think that deep down, you love more than ever.

This is the reality, I keep looking for a more dignified escape (where I can continue to live a lie) rather than accepting the truth.

Thanks

[anondesires]

This whole situation is moving faster than you can process emotionally. I'm afraid that it might break something inside you because of that.

I think that's the crux of it. Letting go of your ego hurts but is it better to rip the plaster/bandaid off quickly or slowly?

It has only been a few weeks and you have gone from never having talked about cuckolding at all to her fucking an ex and blowing some random guy. You've also gone from no talking of or experience of male male interaction to being (nearly forcefully) pegged and later she had you suck on a dildo while pretending it was your friend. That's a lot to process, but she's given you no time to process anything. I can only imagine how much of a mind fuck it all is.

I think those things were easier to handle than accepting that I can't fuck women satisfactorily and that I seem to get more pleasure from being cucked than actually fucking.

When you first talked about having an ex come over to fuck her you thought it would be a one off experience, but now it seems that you are inadequate and unable to satisfy her.

The one off experience mentality helped me to cope with it and compartmentalise it.

A number of years ago my wife purchased a vibrator and we started using it during sex. Prior to the vibrator she was able to cum with penetration, but she eventually was only able to cum from the vibrator. It really messed with my head and self confidence, and I was dealing with a little machine, not another person. I imagine it would have been a bigger problem if it was a person I was being measured up to.

That's comforting to learn (for me), I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I would hope that she would slow down a bit to let you catch up, but it doesn't seem like she's going to. Have you discussed that with her? She doesn't have to quit, but she needs to pump the brakes. I'm also really curious about her and how she's feeling about everything. Does she still see you the same way or has she lost respect for you?

We discuss it all the time. I think her sex drive and sexual frustration has always been trying to fast-track this process. She fundamentally cares about me and we're still "us" but we all know how the horny fog can make us lose sight of what's important. Respect is tricky to define. I can tell from the last 2 days that she still values our relationship above all but she's learned to get sexual pleasure from superficially "disrespecting" me and our relationship. I'm still struggling with that, I think she is too.

I think that if you broke up with her you would regret it. Elina said it best when they asked you if you thought the cuckold urges would disappear if you broke up. I can tell you from experience that the urge will always be there.

I think you're both right.

[anondesires]

The good news is, that you're not married to this girl, so there's not nasty legalities to drudge through if you decide that this is not the ship you want to be on. Before you delve into this though, you really need to figure out A) what you want in your life relative to this issue and B) what your girlfriend wants out of life.... so there's a very real discussion for you two to have here. That said, this not an out of the ordinary discussion for a couple to have before deciding if they're going to hitch their wagons up, so to speak.. you just have the added complexity of the sex situation going on. But, you and your GF really need to decide whether the sex or your relationship to one another is more important. Just my 2 pennies.

The problem is not knowing what I want or who I am anymore.
What I thought I wanted was probably based on how other people would perceive me, I'm realising that what brings me pleasure is probably the opposite of that. I don't "want" this, I've never "wanted" this but here I am, getting off on it. How do you rationalise that?

[parheliam]

Mate, i'm gonna be honest with you, i do believe you are in a very low self esteem phase and you need to get out of it. The fact that you could not satisfy that girl does not mean that you won't be able to satisfy another one. You have a choice in moving on and finding someone who will be better for you or staying in a relationship and believing that is who you are. Because the word is not divided between cucks and non-cucks. And i say "believing that is who you are" because obviously you had some question and you came here to find the answer. This is a cuckold forum. If you went to a gay forum you would have thought you are gay and every member would have said the same way. If you went to an Bull forum, same thing. I think you are just lost and disappointed and you need to search help, professional help. Not forum help. Not all girls are the same not all of them want huge cocks and stuff. You clearly are not ok with what you think you are. A boy who like humiliation. You found the answer and you think is the correct one. Maybe the problem is not you, maybe is your girlfriend. Maybe no one is the problem and is just a compatibility issue. Just relax, RESET, live your live and stop blaming yourself for stupid things. There are millions of girls out there and i can bet you they are not all the same

[anondesires]

I'm not gonna pretend to know what it's like being in your place since the only relationship I've been in was pretty Vanilla, but I really feel like if I was in your place I would be having the exact same thoughts at you. Idk how it would exactly be but yeah id pretty much want to end that relationship. Your point about someone undeserving that's born with a bigger dick gets to experience your woman's highest points is too real. There are a lot of people here who are gonna be on the 'embrace it's wagon but I'm gonna go the other way and tell you it's probably not gonna be worth it.

It's nice to hear that maybe I'm not overreacting. That seems like a rational view, like one side of the conflict in my head.

About your point on letting her and your friend have sex and then break up, that's up to you but just make sure that you are completely sure about wanting that to happen cause instead of just breaking up with her, you could end up resenting him and it would wreck 2 relationships instead of just one.

I don't think it was a serious thought, I was more explaining that every thought I have about rejecting this fantasy has a counter thought that wants me to indulge in it too.

I hope I don't get trashed for being my thoughts as this is a cuckold forum but just my 2 cents. I hope you end up happy whatever happens.

What is your perspective btw? Are you into cuckolding? If not, what brings you to read this? I'm just curious.

[anondesires]

All this is not fair on her dude. It was your fantasy too!

Whats her fault exactly?

You're right, this wasn't her fault, it's me struggling to accept reality. I wasn't considering breaking up to punish her, I just felt like I needed to escape what is happening. I felt like this was happening internally in our relationship and that outside of that, things could be "normal" again. That walk helped me realise that I need her, she's the only one that knows me and cares about me and I trust her to help me get through this. Otherwise I'd be alone and trying to continue fighting it.

[anondesires]

I believe your relationship has to be strong if you commit to this LS otherwise it will expose the cracks and fall apart. I would suggest that both of you discuss what you want from your relationship overall besides the sex.

We're getting there, we're figuring it out together.

This is an amazing thread, but I’m surprised at the speed your fantasies have come to fruition. My suggestion is to slow this down. And maybe focus in on one key fantasy- her fucking your friend. Don’t involve any other men for now. It’s clear that fucking your friend is the thing that massively turns you on here. Set some boundaries and take it one step at a time. I’m the same age as you, so feel free to message for any support.

I know what you mean, it increasingly feels like maybe a circle of trust between the 3 of us might be easier to handle. The difficulty is him finding out that I'm into this, it seriously freaks me out.

I think you're asking yourself too many questions! That's what's causing your discomfort.

Learn to connect with your feelings rather than overthinking. Now that you've gone far with your girlfriend, there's no point in trying to control things. I think it's too late for that, and if you try, you'll probably fail and suffer.

I think this is a realisation that I've come to. I need to trust my girlfriend to know me better than I know myself right now.

Hotwives are not married to weak men. It takes an incredibly strong man to have a wife who can have it all. Monogamy is the cultural "norm" because most people are weak, and get emotionally crushed in a non-monogamous dynamic. If you are not strong enough for this, then the answer to your question of "is that normal?" is "yes, it's normal to not be strong enough for this dynamic".

I'm realising that. There's different kinds of strength and right now I'm working out hard to get the strength for this.

[Watchinu69]

Anondesires, and chance there's some of those sexy wife pics you took to share - thank you

There is a catch-22 here.

Anondesires would like to keep this site to have people to interact with, helping him understand what is going on with him.
That can only happen if his Wonderful Girlfriend does not know he is on the site.

To post pictures of a Lady, you need to ask the Lady for Her consent.
Buts since Anondesires wants to keep this channel to himself (and that is a highly legitimate decision) he cannot possibly ask for concent, so no pictures. We shouldn't push for this.

Sincerely
elina

I'm sorry I thought I was writing to Smudger in hopes he could share the link to any pics in the hotties section, I must have typed in the wrong name by accident- Oooofa my bad, I'll make sure I'm clear next time to avoid getting others to answer my comments.

[anondesires]

Last night was more of the same, doing things together, lots of closeness, affection etc. We ended up talking about sex and our expectations of it over the time we've been together. She said that when we first got together, it wasn't something she gave much thought to, she enjoyed having sex with me for what it was. Over time, she started to feel like she wanted me to be more dominant but thought she would be able to encourage that side of me. She tried to exaggerate her reactions to dominant things I would do and she played more submissive than she felt to encourage me to dominate in response. I admitted that I liked seeing her that way but it felt like pretending to be able to swim by walking along the sea floor, you can only swim out to sea so far until you're out of your depth and feeling uncomfortable.

She said part of the reason she didn't like me giving her oral was that I was so submissive about it, she wanted to steer me away from that and towards the more dominant things.

She said in the last year or so she's been trying to provoke a dominant response from me, she thought that a touch of jealousy here and there would bring that out of me like it did with her first boyfriend. I remembered her saying when she suggested fucking that other guy that she would look forward to the affect it would have on me after. She thought just suggesting fucking another guy would get me all aggressive and possessive but it just made me more submissive.

She said that flirting in front of me and getting away with it felt like a thrill sometimes. She felt guilty, slutty and shameful too but she enjoyed the feeling of pushing the limit sometimes.

I guess it makes sense why I've developed these fantasies. I had put it down to seeing my friend's dick pic but actually there was probably an underlying insecurity from her flirty behaviour being out of my control that the dick pic amplified.

She felt guilty that she may have caused me all of this upset just because of her urges to feel more dominated. She said she didn't know that a bit of flirting would turn out like this, it's the opposite of what she expected.

We talked for a while, theorising about things and how things could've gone differently but it always came back to us both having submissive urges, me having cuckold urges and fantasies that were unlikely to go away and her having learnt to enjoy it in a way she never thought possible. I told her that ever since I've had these fantasies, I didn't want them to be a reality and I still don't. Yet, her taking the lead on this had been exhilarating and I couldn't honestly ask her to stop. I told her it felt like I was trusting her with my life on this and that I was scared that her sex drive might come before me. She said we need to have these heart to hearts more often, that she promises to put me before her sexual urges but knows that ultimately we both have the same desires. I think she said something about looking after me, giving me medicine that doesn't taste good but it's what I needed to feel good, I wish I could remember how she worded it, I've thought about it a lot since.

[elina]

....

She felt guilty that she may have caused me all of this upset just because of her urges to feel more dominated. She said she didn't know that a bit of flirting would turn out like this, it's the opposite of what she expected.

We talked for a while, theorising about things and how things could've gone differently but it always came back to us both having submissive urges, me having cuckold urges and fantasies that were unlikely to go away and her having learnt to enjoy it in a way she never thought possible. I told her that ever since I've had these fantasies, I didn't want them to be a reality and I still don't. Yet, her taking the lead on this had been exhilarating and I couldn't honestly ask her to stop. I told her it felt like I was trusting her with my life on this and that I was scared that her sex drive might come before me. She said we need to have these heart to hearts more often, that she promises to put me before her sexual urges but knows that ultimately we both have the same desires. I think she said something about looking after me, giving me medicine that doesn't taste good but it's what I needed to feel good, I wish I could remember how she worded it, I've thought about it a lot since.

Dear Anondesires.

Thanks for all of your responses, exploring how you feel related to those and revealing more of your very honest search trying to understand yourself.

The last paragraph quoted above to me illustrates that you probably did not properly understand why your Girlfriend was acting like She did as well. I find it very interesting that She tried to prevent your submissive sides to come out by pretending not to enjoy you providing cunnilingus for Her because She could sense that this made you feel more submissive.

I can relate to that. When my Wife allows me to lick Her pussy, I just become so grateful to Her, so infatuated with Her and all I want is to please Her. Maybe something similar is happening to you.

I noticed that in one of your posts, you explained that you discovered cuckold porn as well as Femdom porn at the same time. A lot of this thread has focused on you gradually accepting your cuckold side. But sometimes I think that there is an element of submission in accepting the Lady you love to have sex with others. Given what you Girlfriend explained above, do you want to explore with Her whether you would actually be more comfortable with Her cucking you if She took a slightly more dominant side to it? It is not uncommon in long term cuckold relationship that the Wife/Lady finds a bull who will act dominant towards Her, but that the Lady at the same time develop more dominant side in Her relationship with Her beloved cuckold. Are you able to have a discussion with Her on how this would work for both of you?

Sincerely
elina

[Wantsomefunto]

Anondesires
Some real good thoughts from you in today’s posts.

Has she said anything about going out with the guys from work again tonight?

[anondesires]

I can relate to that. When my Wife allows me to lick Her pussy, I just become so grateful to Her, so infatuated with Her and all I want is to please Her. Maybe something similar is happening to you.

I've always loved having her straddle my face and have me lick her. I love the idea of her being so horny that she needs to force me to relieve her like that. Thinking back, I think we did it quite a few times in the first few months and it gradually lessened before she told me she didn't enjoy it.

She says she enjoys it now, when she's in the right mood.

I noticed that in one of your posts, you explained that you discovered cuckold porn as well as Femdom porn at the same time. A lot of this thread has focused on you gradually accepting your cuckold side. But sometimes I think that there is an element of submission in accepting the Lady you love to have sex with others. Given what you Girlfriend explained above, do you want to explore with Her whether you would actually be more comfortable with Her cucking you if She took a slightly more dominant side to it? It is not uncommon in long term cuckold relationship that the Wife/Lady finds a bull who will act dominant towards Her, but that the Lady at the same time develop more dominant side in Her relationship with Her beloved cuckold. Are you able to have a discussion with Her on how this would work for both of you?

Maybe it doesn't come across in the way I write it but she has very much learned to be the dominant (and enjoy it). It's actually me that's struggling to accept that I'm submissive. Liking certain submissive things and having certain submissive fantasies is different to actually being dominated and giving up control, especially when it's not just isolated to a "session". I never know when she's going to spring something on me, it's a full-time thing and not something I ever fantasized about.

I think in our conversation last night, I confusingly put it to her that I don't want this but I won't ask her to stop either which she seemed to understand. In the last 2 days, she's really demonstrated why I trust her and should continue to trust her. It feels like I submitted, let go and gave up control by telling her that and she seemed to accept the responsibility of it.

[handye12]

I know what you mean, it increasingly feels like maybe a circle of trust between the 3 of us might be easier to handle. The difficulty is him finding out that I'm into this, it seriously freaks me out.

I think this is a realisation that I've come to. I need to trust my girlfriend to know me better than I know myself right now.

Hi Anon, it pains me to read how your urges are freaking you out. I think for all us Cucks we can't understand the initial urges but over time we realise that it's simply who we are and learn to love it. Finding a loving partner who helps us on the journey is the key ingredient BUT so rare to find. I was so lucky to find Sally. She is the first person in my life whom I can be totally honest. Bizarrely I realised I had found my soulmate, the first time I cleaned up her Bull's creampie. I looked up, and she looked down on me with her empathic smile and even though she was still laid in his arms, the lightening bolt we both felt, transcended our love on a whole new level. I believe that level can only be achieved when you can be totally honest with each other. It is so freeing.
I can see how your thoughts of your friend understanding your desires are freaking you out, but I can also see how your honestly with him could help you on the journey.
Best wishes, You are so lucky to have found your partner at this stage of your life.

[monraccoon]

does the humiliation aspect of her submitting to your friend, after he has called it directly to you, turn you on? is she turned on by the taboo nature of submitting herself to your friend? his arrogance adds some heavy spice to it. have you fantasized about such an encounter?

[joel68]

Yeah monraccoon,

I wonder about that as well. Maybe we will find out soon if they decide his friend should fuck her.

[sucker00]

The good news is, that you're not married to this girl, so there's not nasty legalities to drudge through if you decide that this is not the ship you want to be on. Before you delve into this though, you really need to figure out A) what you want in your life relative to this issue and B) what your girlfriend wants out of life.... so there's a very real discussion for you two to have here. That said, this not an out of the ordinary discussion for a couple to have before deciding if they're going to hitch their wagons up, so to speak.. you just have the added complexity of the sex situation going on. But, you and your GF really need to decide whether the sex or your relationship to one another is more important. Just my 2 pennies.

The problem is not knowing what I want or who I am anymore.
What I thought I wanted was probably based on how other people would perceive me, I'm realising that what brings me pleasure is probably the opposite of that. I don't "want" this, I've never "wanted" this but here I am, getting off on it. How do you rationalise that?

From my perspective, this is the "cuckold paradox". This whole situation is scary in different ways, in that you're scared you might lose a person that is precious to you. It's also scary as to what means about you as a man (and your manhood) and that manhood being openly challenged by another man. At the same time, the feeling that one can experience with these conventions being torn down in a cuckold dynamic can be make your heart skip a beat with excitement. The angst can fuel the fire as much as anything else could.

[sucker00]

Anon,

Your comment here, really resonated with me:

"I think in our conversation last night, I confusingly put it to her that I don't want this but I won't ask her to stop either which she seemed to understand. In the last 2 days, she's really demonstrated why I trust her and should continue to trust her. It feels like I submitted, let go and gave up control by telling her that and she seemed to accept the responsibility of it."

A concept that really hits with me is the concept of the "reluctant cuckold", in that I'm not accepting of the situation that is developing, but at the same time, I'm not being assertive enough to put a stop to it, so my wife just keeps pushing my limits to see how far things can go, to the point that another man and my wife are openly flirty and affectionate in front of me and in public. I literally had a dream last night along these lines which was a very erotic dream for me. I'm sure reading your posts contributed a lot to this.

It will be interesting to see with the openness of communication you and your girlfriend are having, and the sensitivities expressed, how quickly she comes to you with the next endeavor.