Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[jratt85]

I hope you guys can work things out. I haven't really been very happy with my marriage since we had kids 14 years ago due to my wife changing significantly as she was pulled deeper and deeper into motherhood. However, I've done my research and ultimately learned that it's better for the kids if a couple can stay together. Divorce can do a lot of damage to children, unless of course the marriage itself is even more damaging when the husband and wife stay together. I'm just going off what I've read, I am no professional. If you guys can stabilize your marriage, trust each other and be civil then you are good to go.

That’s ultimately where I’m at. I know my wife and I are able to run a great home for the kids because we’ve been doing it for years. So as long as that’s true, I know I won’t be selfish enough to split from her at their expense.

That still leaves me trying to make the best of what I have. I want to figure out how to forgive her and I want to be a better partner. So my intent is to work on those two things regardless. Right now I am profoundly sad and I am just assuming that will pass.

And hopefully my wife will commit to fixing herself in the same way.

Why is it that every time I see you make a comment about trying to stay together or potentially splitting up I instantly start singing Papa Roach's "Broken Home" it just instantly pops into my head... I guess because I'm a music nut and a product of the 90's/early 2000's.

[SixInchDick]

I hope you guys can work things out. I haven't really been very happy with my marriage since we had kids 14 years ago due to my wife changing significantly as she was pulled deeper and deeper into motherhood. However, I've done my research and ultimately learned that it's better for the kids if a couple can stay together. Divorce can do a lot of damage to children, unless of course the marriage itself is even more damaging when the husband and wife stay together. I'm just going off what I've read, I am no professional. If you guys can stabilize your marriage, trust each other and be civil then you are good to go.

That’s ultimately where I’m at. I know my wife and I are able to run a great home for the kids because we’ve been doing it for years. So as long as that’s true, I know I won’t be selfish enough to split from her at their expense.

That still leaves me trying to make the best of what I have. I want to figure out how to forgive her and I want to be a better partner. So my intent is to work on those two things regardless. Right now I am profoundly sad and I am just assuming that will pass.

And hopefully my wife will commit to fixing herself in the same way.

Forgive my memory lapse but would you allow your wife to sleep around as long as she is open and honest about it? I mean to me, the biggest and baddest part about all of this is how she has lied to your face over and over after getting caught. Like, if someone is gonna cheat and they get caught cheating, and their partner is decent enough to stick around despite the fact, just tell the damn truth and move on together.

On a side note, aside from the lies and the possible mental health issues your wife has, you're extremely lucky that your wife is so sexual. I only say that based on the sex you guys have had the past few days. A lot of women including my wife drastically go downhill as far as sex drive & number of things they will do. lol

[SixInchDick]

"a product of the 90's/early 2000's"

Lol we are a special breed, for sure.

[drstrangelove]

I hope you guys can work things out. I haven't really been very happy with my marriage since we had kids 14 years ago due to my wife changing significantly as she was pulled deeper and deeper into motherhood. However, I've done my research and ultimately learned that it's better for the kids if a couple can stay together. Divorce can do a lot of damage to children, unless of course the marriage itself is even more damaging when the husband and wife stay together. I'm just going off what I've read, I am no professional. If you guys can stabilize your marriage, trust each other and be civil then you are good to go.

That’s ultimately where I’m at. I know my wife and I are able to run a great home for the kids because we’ve been doing it for years. So as long as that’s true, I know I won’t be selfish enough to split from her at their expense.

That still leaves me trying to make the best of what I have. I want to figure out how to forgive her and I want to be a better partner. So my intent is to work on those two things regardless. Right now I am profoundly sad and I am just assuming that will pass.

And hopefully my wife will commit to fixing herself in the same way.

Forgive my memory lapse but would you allow your wife to sleep around as long as she is open and honest about it? I mean to me, the biggest and baddest part about all of this is how she has lied to your face over and over after getting caught. Like, if someone is gonna cheat and they get caught cheating, and their partner is decent enough to stick around despite the fact, just tell the damn truth and move on together.

On a side note, aside from the lies and the possible mental health issues your wife has, you're extremely lucky that your wife is so sexual. I only say that based on the sex you guys have had the past few days. A lot of women including my wife drastically go downhill as far as sex drive & number of things they will do. lol

I mean this whole thread is about me wondering if I could do that—I have no idea. I suspect I’d needed baby steps to even try it. But at this point, considering how horrible it feels—I just went for an STD test today—the fantasy of it has vanished and I’m left with a horrible reality.

[jratt85]

I mean this whole thread is about me wondering if I could do that—I have no idea. I suspect I’d needed baby steps to even try it. But at this point, considering how horrible it feels—I just went for an STD test today—the fantasy of it has vanished and I’m left with a horrible reality.

*sucks in breath between teeth... Damn... why is it I'm right about the negative shit and wrong about positive.. Hope it's nothing too hard to get rid of.

[SixInchDick]

If you look back on everything that has happen (which I'm sure you do all day every day now), do you think her personality was not suitable for the lifestyle? Before you figured out she was lying and betraying you, when she was "normal"?

Did she have a tendency to lie, exaggerate, or stretch the truth in any way? Maybe not to you but with other people? There are some people who are generally good people deep inside but they're rough around the edges, they behave like they're always in survival mode, and they do stupid things sometimes. Hell, they may even turn on you or not like you for a period of time. Has she shown any signs of this in the past? Did things change when you had kids? Forgive me if I missed that in previous posts.

[drstrangelove]

If you look back on everything that has happen (which I'm sure you do all day every day now), do you think her personality was not suitable for the lifestyle? Before you figured out she was lying and betraying you, when she was "normal"?

Did she have a tendency to lie, exaggerate, or stretch the truth in any way? Maybe not to you but with other people? There are some people who are generally good people deep inside but they're rough around the edges, they behave like they're always in survival mode, and they do stupid things sometimes. Hell, they may even turn on you or not like you for a period of time. Has she shown any signs of this in the past? Did things change when you had kids? Forgive me if I missed that in previous posts.

She lies often, but always to avoid conflict. I think she was in a very bad place for many years and the affair was a manifestation of many of her problems.

I like the couples therapist we found—she’s been harsh (in a gentle way) on my wife. My wife is also going to see her own therapist separately.

I’m going to push to dig through my cuckold fetish at our next session as I’m interested in the feedback. Though a part of me genuinely wonders if the fetish manifested because of our bad sex life—looking back, it’s almost like I pushed for the fetish so I could find a way to enjoy sex with my wife.

As for the type of wife that is suited for the lifestyle. I think my wife and I could have gone down this path in a different universe, but we had no communication. My advise to anyone else would be to not focus communication on the fetish, focus it on having open dialogue on everything and try to develop a healthy sexlife first. As comfort grows, boundaries can be pushed.

[lookingiansa]

drstrangelove

I got here late binge read all 20 pages. WOW is all I can say. So if you take the dom role and fuck her and all. Shes into that but not wanting to take lead really. I hope if you stay together that you keep taking it out on her ass, pussy, mouth. So you can bring out what I say about my wife. To bring out her inner whore. She lived sexually oppressed with religious guilt.

IDK with all the lies deception omissions if I could trust her ever again. And while you make your decision give her a few more test drives and if it dont work out you still had a few moments of fun then exercise your pre-nup.

Mr. Lookingiansa

[chris]

My advise to anyone else would be to not focus communication on the fetish, focus it on having open dialogue on everything and try to develop a healthy sexlife first. As comfort grows, boundaries can be pushed.

Sage advice. Kicks it up quite a few notches above the generic "communicate, communicate, communicate" we see throughout this site.

[drstrangelove]

drstrangelove

I got here late binge read all 20 pages. WOW is all I can say. So if you take the dom role and fuck her and all. Shes into that but not wanting to take lead really. I hope if you stay together that you keep taking it out on her ass, pussy, mouth. So you can bring out what I say about my wife. To bring out her inner whore. She lived sexually oppressed with religious guilt.

IDK with all the lies deception omissions if I could trust her ever again. And while you make your decision give her a few more test drives and if it dont work out you still had a few moments of fun then exercise your pre-nup.

Mr. Lookingiansa

That’s where I am now—we’re having crazy sex often now. I’m enjoying making her beg to cum as I fuck her all over the place.

But then after I cum (a few times), I’m left with a void. She gave up on me and trashed me to everyone she knows. And she smiled to my face the entire time. I have no idea where to begin to forgive her.

In her defense though, she has been incredible these last couple of days. I gave her a list of demands and she’s going above and beyond—doing all the ones she can immediately and showing effort to work at the others. My biggest one was wanting to see more effort from her in reconciling—winning back my love—and I can see she’s trying her damndest. But it still doesn’t feel like enough.

The couples therapist has been good though and she is now going to be meeting her own therapist as well. So one day at a time.

[Rogueuser1]

Point 1: But then after I cum (a few times), I’m left with a void. She gave up on me and trashed me to everyone she knows. And she smiled to my face the entire time. I have no idea where to begin to forgive her......

Point 2: I can see she’s trying her damndest. But it still doesn’t feel like enough.....

Point 3: The couples therapist has been good though and she is now going to be meeting her own therapist as well. So one day at a time.

1. That "post-nut" clarity isn't surprising - the let down effect is well known. It's not going to help you to dwell on it though --- you need to push those thoughts away rather than wallowing in them.

2. It's never going to be enough if you are trying to make it feel to you like it is enough. She hurt you deeply and there is nothing she can do to take that way or even fill in that hole. You need to work on meeting her halfway and work on the relationship going forward not always be looking behind.

3. Good to hear you like her - hopefully your wife does too and hopefully your wife's personal therapist helps her address her alcoholism and other issues. It will be interesting to hear if her therapist ever wants to speak with you or to have you involved in any of the sessions - there are obviously things your wife needs to work through on her on about your relationship even as you are both working together with the couples therapist on it.

[residueS]

drstrangelove

I got here late binge read all 20 pages. WOW is all I can say. So if you take the dom role and fuck her and all. Shes into that but not wanting to take lead really. I hope if you stay together that you keep taking it out on her ass, pussy, mouth. So you can bring out what I say about my wife. To bring out her inner whore. She lived sexually oppressed with religious guilt.

IDK with all the lies deception omissions if I could trust her ever again. And while you make your decision give her a few more test drives and if it dont work out you still had a few moments of fun then exercise your pre-nup.

Mr. Lookingiansa

That’s where I am now—we’re having crazy sex often now. I’m enjoying making her beg to cum as I fuck her all over the place.

But then after I cum (a few times), I’m left with a void. She gave up on me and trashed me to everyone she knows. And she smiled to my face the entire time. I have no idea where to begin to forgive her.

In her defense though, she has been incredible these last couple of days. I gave her a list of demands and she’s going above and beyond—doing all the ones she can immediately and showing effort to work at the others. My biggest one was wanting to see more effort from her in reconciling—winning back my love—and I can see she’s trying her damndest. But it still doesn’t feel like enough.

The couples therapist has been good though and she is now going to be meeting her own therapist as well. So one day at a time.

Hope u r doing better now. How are things going, any recent changes?

[lookingiansa]

Drstrangelove

Hi there any new updates for us to read? I'm looking forward to it to see what you have decided.

Mr. Lookingiansa

[jratt85]

RIP thread. Sounds like either she told him to stop posting here or something came up (test results maybe) and he's just had it and is moving on.. At least that's my guess. It's sad how we get addicted to hearing these tales and lament their disappearance.

[Chrislydi]

This was a thread which explored complex problems, not least the feelings of adultery and betrayal, while all the while trashing your own character and reputation to family members, these can be enough to kill most attempts at reconciliation as the wounds will go deep, not only that but family members will always know what was alleged and that's tough to completely get over.

Nonetheless Dr Strangelove had explored many avenues in an effort to effect a reconcilation and to forgive grave injustices. The counselling and apparent goodwill and very positive response from his wife boded well, even if difficult hurdles still stood in the way.

Threads die for many reasons, and I'm one of the worst for jumping to conclusions, maybe this thread had outlived it's usefulness as a vehicle to write down his thoughts, and the counselling and positive moves from his wife have made it largely unecessary now. I think both had their children's welfare and future very much as priority number one and this will be a powerful binding force to really make it work. I hope they're both in a far better place, regardless of whether he updates us again.

[Guhunkadorn]

He is currently posting on a site devoted to issues surrounding infidelity.

[nekkedoutdoors]

He is currently posting on a site devoted to issues surrounding infidelity.

That is really nice to hear, I hope he is finding the help he needs.

[chris]

He is currently posting on a site devoted to issues surrounding infidelity.

I think some on this site, including me, suggested precisely that. Some suggested stopping posting here.

I wish him/them well

[Chrislydi]

He is currently posting on a site devoted to issues surrounding infidelity.

Yes I think a number of us thought this site entirely unsuited to giving him the correct advice. Too many naturally come to it from a wife sharing perspective and his case really looked more outright lying, slander and cheating rather than anything lifestyle related. Far more to do with straightforward infidelity and a marriage gone badly wrong.

[drstrangelove]

Hello again, everyone. Apologies for the absence, but as Guhunkadorn noted, I've spent my time on another forum more directly devoted to my situation. I've thought about posting here occasionally, but wasn't sure what to write. I do want to thank you all for the kind messages.

So it's been a rough road these past six or so weeks; there's no way to sugarcoat it. We're seeing a couples therapist and my wife is seeing her own therapist in addition. We've uncovered a lot of problems through the process, largely spiraling around my wife's longterm resentments with me and some problematic damage from her childhood and college life.

The result is she's working on those things hard every day and I'm open to reconciliation with her as long as she keeps fighting to change. There's obviously far more I could add here, but I recognize most of you reading are more focused on the sex aspect of our lives, so...

On the sex side of things, it's been going well--we're having lots of fun sex and it's allowed us to really reconnect on multiple levels. My fetish has been a hell of a thing to navigate through this though. Initially, I thought the fetish might just die as feelings of betrayal far outweighed any sexual arousal, but in recent days/weeks, I've found myself separating her sex acts from the other horrible things that surrounded her affair.

I feel like that's a good thing for me, and in discussing it with her, I feel it might even be more important for her. So much of the negativity of her past is connected with sex and it caused her to feel ashamed of sex for so long. So now, looking at her affair, it's really hard for her to process it--the affair was a very negative experience for her: badmouthing me, drinking heavily, spending, anxious 24/7 hiding her secret from me; but her time with him was enjoyable for her--she liked both the sex and being sexual for him.

So now she's applying that to our relationship with me, but she's mentally fighting the shame of the affair and bundling sex up in it again just like she did with her college experiences.

I'm trying to take all of this slow though, but truthfully, almost every time we fool around now, I'm thinking of her Feb. 24 hotel stay. He had unprotected sex with her in all three holes for more than four hours that night--he came four times--then they fucked again in the morning for a fifth orgasm. I forgot what I already wrote in this thread about the night, but I've gotten more details since my last post anyway, so I'll recap.

At around 9:30 p.m. she was in the local hotel waiting for him to arrive. I tried to initiate sexting, but she said she was tried and going to bed. She sent me a nude photo of herself in which she looked stunning in full makeup. I jerked off to it and went to bed.

He arrived a little after 10 p.m. She put on lingerie and high heels and opened the door for him. They got right to it and 69'd and she swallowed his load, then he handcuffed her arms over her head (she had requested he bring his handcuffs beforehand) and fucked her missionary and finished prone position and came on her back. Then they tried to take a bath, but only briefly fucked in the tub before moving back to bed for doggystle and she requested he fuck her ass, so he ate and fucked her ass for a bit too--he came on her back again.

She then showered and tried to go to bed, but his hands roamed and he fucked her missionary again and came on her stomach. Then they went to bed for real around 2:30 a.m. His alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. or so and he hit snooze; she started giving him a BJ and then road him cowgirl until he pulled out and came on her ass. He left the room around 6 a.m. and she had to stay at the hotel to keep her cover as I was under the impression she was out of state. She texted me before 8 a.m. to tell me she loved me and couldn't wait to see me in a few hours...

So considering my fetish, it's just impossible for that night not to replay in my head constantly. She's probably given me 12-15 BJs in last few weeks and each one is me replaying her night in the hotel until I cum. I haven't told her that yet, but I have been honest all along that the sex part of the affair doesn't bother me and I would like to explore it a bit more.

I know on her end it's terribly confusing, but with the affair now in the background and me trying to regain trust, I'm thinking I'll keep exploring down this road. If I'm going to be in a relationship with her, I'd like it to be entirely fulfilling sexually for me. Obviously right now I'm enjoying all the awesome sex, but longterm I want more mental stimulation.

Anyway, I'll see how it goes and I'll see if it makes sense to start updating this thread again. I really have no idea where this all leads, but I've been posting here for nearly four years and it's been helpful for my own thoughts--stopping now, after this, seems entirely illogical--if anything, I now actually belong on this site lol.

I hope you're all well!

[Chrislydi]

Hello again, everyone. Apologies for the absence, but as Guhunkadorn noted, I've spent my time on another forum more directly devoted to my situation. I've thought about posting here occasionally, but wasn't sure what to write. I do want to thank you all for the kind messages.

So it's been a rough road these past six or so weeks; there's no way to sugarcoat it. We're seeing a couples therapist and my wife is seeing her own therapist in addition. We've uncovered a lot of problems through the process, largely spiraling around my wife's longterm resentments with me and some problematic damage from her childhood and college life.

The result is she's working on those things hard every day and I'm open to reconciliation with her as long as she keeps fighting to change. There's obviously far more I could add here, but I recognize most of you reading are more focused on the sex aspect of our lives, so...

On the sex side of things, it's been going well--we're having lots of fun sex and it's allowed us to really reconnect on multiple levels. My fetish has been a hell of a thing to navigate through this though. Initially, I thought the fetish might just die as feelings of betrayal far outweighed any sexual arousal, but in recent days/weeks, I've found myself separating her sex acts from the other horrible things that surrounded her affair.

I feel like that's a good thing for me, and in discussing it with her, I feel it might even be more important for her. So much of the negativity of her past is connected with sex and it caused her to feel ashamed of sex for so long. So now, looking at her affair, it's really hard for her to process it--the affair was a very negative experience for her: badmouthing me, drinking heavily, spending, anxious 24/7 hiding her secret from me; but her time with him was enjoyable for her--she liked both the sex and being sexual for him.

So now she's applying that to our relationship with me, but she's mentally fighting the shame of the affair and bundling sex up in it again just like she did with her college experiences.

I'm trying to take all of this slow though, but truthfully, almost every time we fool around now, I'm thinking of her Feb. 24 hotel stay. He had unprotected sex with her in all three holes for more than four hours that night--he came four times--then they fucked again in the morning for a fifth orgasm. I forgot what I already wrote in this thread about the night, but I've gotten more details since my last post anyway, so I'll recap.

At around 9:30 p.m. she was in the local hotel waiting for him to arrive. I tried to initiate sexting, but she said she was tried and going to bed. She sent me a nude photo of herself in which she looked stunning in full makeup. I jerked off to it and went to bed.

He arrived a little after 10 p.m. She put on lingerie and high heels and opened the door for him. They got right to it and 69'd and she swallowed his load, then he handcuffed her arms over her head (she had requested he bring his handcuffs beforehand) and fucked her missionary and finished prone position and came on her back. Then they tried to take a bath, but only briefly fucked in the tub before moving back to bed for doggystle and she requested he fuck her ass, so he ate and fucked her ass for a bit too--he came on her back again.

She then showered and tried to go to bed, but his hands roamed and he fucked her missionary again and came on her stomach. Then they went to bed for real around 2:30 a.m. His alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. or so and he hit snooze; she started giving him a BJ and then road him cowgirl until he pulled out and came on her ass. He left the room around 6 a.m. and she had to stay at the hotel to keep her cover as I was under the impression she was out of state. She texted me before 8 a.m. to tell me she loved me and couldn't wait to see me in a few hours...

So considering my fetish, it's just impossible for that night not to replay in my head constantly. She's probably given me 12-15 BJs in last few weeks and each one is me replaying her night in the hotel until I cum. I haven't told her that yet, but I have been honest all along that the sex part of the affair doesn't bother me and I would like to explore it a bit more.

I know on her end it's terribly confusing, but with the affair now in the background and me trying to regain trust, I'm thinking I'll keep exploring down this road. If I'm going to be in a relationship with her, I'd like it to be entirely fulfilling sexually for me. Obviously right now I'm enjoying all the awesome sex, but longterm I want more mental stimulation.

Anyway, I'll see how it goes and I'll see if it makes sense to start updating this thread again. I really have no idea where this all leads, but I've been posting here for nearly four years and it's been helpful for my own thoughts--stopping now, after this, seems entirely illogical--if anything, I now actually belong on this site lol.

I hope you're all well!

This is a hugely appreciated, very detailed and as usual, an extremely well written update. It's so welcome to hear you really do seem to have made substantial positive progress. Of course there will be problems and tough hurdles to overcome, but it appears you have that positive plan, and the outside professional guidance to help you along the way. Please do come back and update us occasionally if you would. Sometimes you can read many random threads on here and one is more or less like any of the others, ok they all have a common cuckolding or hotwife theme, and therefore explore different aspects and problems associated with the lifestyles, but It can also sometimes seem as if you've already read this or dozens of a similar ilk before.

This thread has been different for me, partly because of the intelligent and carefully laid out thoughts of the author, it has been easy to identify with your situation precisely because you've told of it so well, in short it's been possible to invest a little more into this story and therefore hope it turns out all the better for all concerned.

[nekkedoutdoors]

Hello again, everyone. Apologies for the absence, but as Guhunkadorn noted, I've spent my time on another forum more directly devoted to my situation. I've thought about posting here occasionally, but wasn't sure what to write. I do want to thank you all for the kind messages.

So it's been a rough road these past six or so weeks; there's no way to sugarcoat it. We're seeing a couples therapist and my wife is seeing her own therapist in addition. We've uncovered a lot of problems through the process, largely spiraling around my wife's longterm resentments with me and some problematic damage from her childhood and college life.

The result is she's working on those things hard every day and I'm open to reconciliation with her as long as she keeps fighting to change. There's obviously far more I could add here, but I recognize most of you reading are more focused on the sex aspect of our lives, so...

On the sex side of things, it's been going well--we're having lots of fun sex and it's allowed us to really reconnect on multiple levels. My fetish has been a hell of a thing to navigate through this though. Initially, I thought the fetish might just die as feelings of betrayal far outweighed any sexual arousal, but in recent days/weeks, I've found myself separating her sex acts from the other horrible things that surrounded her affair.

I feel like that's a good thing for me, and in discussing it with her, I feel it might even be more important for her. So much of the negativity of her past is connected with sex and it caused her to feel ashamed of sex for so long. So now, looking at her affair, it's really hard for her to process it--the affair was a very negative experience for her: badmouthing me, drinking heavily, spending, anxious 24/7 hiding her secret from me; but her time with him was enjoyable for her--she liked both the sex and being sexual for him.

So now she's applying that to our relationship with me, but she's mentally fighting the shame of the affair and bundling sex up in it again just like she did with her college experiences.

I'm trying to take all of this slow though, but truthfully, almost every time we fool around now, I'm thinking of her Feb. 24 hotel stay. He had unprotected sex with her in all three holes for more than four hours that night--he came four times--then they fucked again in the morning for a fifth orgasm. I forgot what I already wrote in this thread about the night, but I've gotten more details since my last post anyway, so I'll recap.

At around 9:30 p.m. she was in the local hotel waiting for him to arrive. I tried to initiate sexting, but she said she was tried and going to bed. She sent me a nude photo of herself in which she looked stunning in full makeup. I jerked off to it and went to bed.

He arrived a little after 10 p.m. She put on lingerie and high heels and opened the door for him. They got right to it and 69'd and she swallowed his load, then he handcuffed her arms over her head (she had requested he bring his handcuffs beforehand) and fucked her missionary and finished prone position and came on her back. Then they tried to take a bath, but only briefly fucked in the tub before moving back to bed for doggystle and she requested he fuck her ass, so he ate and fucked her ass for a bit too--he came on her back again.

She then showered and tried to go to bed, but his hands roamed and he fucked her missionary again and came on her stomach. Then they went to bed for real around 2:30 a.m. His alarm went off at 4:45 a.m. or so and he hit snooze; she started giving him a BJ and then road him cowgirl until he pulled out and came on her ass. He left the room around 6 a.m. and she had to stay at the hotel to keep her cover as I was under the impression she was out of state. She texted me before 8 a.m. to tell me she loved me and couldn't wait to see me in a few hours...

So considering my fetish, it's just impossible for that night not to replay in my head constantly. She's probably given me 12-15 BJs in last few weeks and each one is me replaying her night in the hotel until I cum. I haven't told her that yet, but I have been honest all along that the sex part of the affair doesn't bother me and I would like to explore it a bit more.

I know on her end it's terribly confusing, but with the affair now in the background and me trying to regain trust, I'm thinking I'll keep exploring down this road. If I'm going to be in a relationship with her, I'd like it to be entirely fulfilling sexually for me. Obviously right now I'm enjoying all the awesome sex, but longterm I want more mental stimulation.

Anyway, I'll see how it goes and I'll see if it makes sense to start updating this thread again. I really have no idea where this all leads, but I've been posting here for nearly four years and it's been helpful for my own thoughts--stopping now, after this, seems entirely illogical--if anything, I now actually belong on this site lol.

I hope you're all well!

drstrangelove, it's so good to hear from you again and I'm so glad you are both finding the help you need. If it's not too intrusive may I ask what her "longterm resentments" with you originated from? Also, the sex is a distant 3rd behind the health of your relationship and mental wellbeing. I know it's very difficult to keep those cuckold desires in check, but you really need to build a trusting loving relationship with completely open and honest communication on both sides before you can even consider playing in this lifestyle. If you don't have all the aforementioned prior to getting into the lifestyle you stand a high probability of the failure of the marriage you've been working so hard repair. Please keep us up dated once in while, you have a lot supporters here.

[Chrislydi]

"Obviously right now I'm enjoying all the awesome sex, but longterm I want more mental stimulation."

Yeah, long-term has to be very much the operative word here. First thing is to rebuild a relationship that's gone through a severe trauma, thinking of anything beyond that seems to just be asking for trouble. Long term is exactly right.

[8toplaywith]

Good luck. I, among many others here, wish you well.

[BigHotMess]

You need to stay off this site, stay away from fetishes and concentrate on your marriage. Most betrayals will take between 2-5 years to "recover" from. Many do not. You're treading thin mental ice confusing yourself at this stage IMHO.