Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[chastity_boi]

Hi Anon,

I've found your journey fascinating. It sounds like you have a good friend who has been understanding and probably walking around with his head in the clouds feeling like a dog with 2 dicks at the situation that has fallen literally into his lap. You also have a very astute girlfriend both socially and sexually who is willing to explore both of your sexual wants and needs in a non judgemental, sympathetic and mind blowing way. All in all it sounds like the relationship between all parties seems great and I envy your position in all honesty. I wish I had been in as honest a relationship as you in my youth to fully explore these kind of experiences. I do have a couple of questions for you though. When you witnessed your best friend with your girlfriend fully what were the thoughts and feelings that were going through your head? Also were you merely a bystander to the proceedings or were you included in any way - even if only in reference as they discussed you in throes of passion? If so how did that make you feel? Also how has the relationship with your friend been since all of this developed after that initial weekend and finally does your girlfriend recount what she and your friend got up to or what they said about you during their time together? Has anything from this surprised you? Anyways slightly more than a couple of questions but like I said the dynamic in your evolving relationship is something to be admired and I wish you all the best as you continue on your adventure.

[Wantsomefunto]

You should tell us about last night when she went to his place

[tojanman]

Has your girlfriend still been pushing you to suck on a dildo since she started seeing your friend more regularly?

[anondesires]

Has your girlfriend still been pushing you to suck on a dildo since she started seeing your friend more regularly?

Yes. She's insisted on us making out with the white one instead of the black one too. The first time, I said "You're imagining this is [my friend's] dick, aren't you?" She just giggled, sucked it seductively then grabbed the back of my head, forcing me down on it back and forth. She then grabbed my dick and looked at me with a raised eyebrow (I was rock hard). I told her that him finding out about any of it is very much safe word territory, if he finds out I'll have no choice but to jump off a bridge

I still don't understand, nothing in me wants to suck his (or any other) dick. It must just be a humiliation response or submission thing.

She even said "If it were the other way around, wouldn't you want him and his girlfriend to make out with your dick?" to which I told her I didn't, either way round was just weird.

[Xmatty1]

I wasn't planning on writing about the other meet ups, it's all much the same plus I can't specifically remember what happened or how I felt, the 3 times blur into 1. I'm happy to answer questions and mention anything that's new or interesting.
[/quote]

Yeah probably nothing new to report right?

Except for the the first time you saw your friend fuck your girlfriend in person after you have been dreading it for so long.

Oh and what it was like to see his big cock fill her up, and what everyone’s reaction was to his cum pouring out of her after.

And we know that as embarrassed as you are about it that all three of you love thinking about him humiliating you, but probably not that interesting right? Who cares what he says to you while he is fucking your girlfriend.

And nobody cares if he watched you stroke your smaller cock while your girlfriend moaned on his big one.

I’m sure nobody cares about how he has been treating you now. Or how your girlfriend is treating you.

[elina]

Guys,

Please respect that the OP is the only to decide what to post and what not.

I find several of the recent posts here disrepsectful.

Anondesires have from the start been sharing with us his doubts and struggles with all of this.
It must take him a LOT OF TIME to write down all his reflections, the least we can do is show some resepct.

None of us have any right what so ever to start challenging him to contibute more than he has already done.

Sincerely
elina

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

I think a couple posters in here need to back the fuck up. Let Anon post what he wants. Fuckin' idiots.

[anondesires]

Mr Anon - this story is incredible. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.

Your friend has a really interesting way of effectively getting your permission to do things lol. Do you have a limit in your mind of a line that would make you stop this whole thing, considering your apprehension at using your safeword?

I think I may have partly answered this while your post was being approved. Him finding out about any dildo sucking is off limits. I don't think they'd ever willingly spend time together outside of sex so it's not something I'm worried about. It's hard to say really. Unless you're worried about something happening, you don't really consider it a limit. Like, obviously him fucking me in the ass would be a off limits but it's not something I've thought about, worry about or think will ever even be suggested.

I think throughout this process, I've always been worried about being into things that I didn't want to be into. I think fixating on those things only made them more taboo and made me more likely to be turned on by them. My friend fucking my girlfriend was always completely off limits but it quickly became the ultimate fantasy. I think I'm in a place now where I'm not worried about being into any off limits things. It's a nicer place to be.

[parheliam]

How about cleaning after your friend? Did you do it? Did he saw you? What were his thoughts?

[anondesires]

I attempted to write about the 2 times I watched last night but it didn't make for good reading. It was basically me recalling things that had happened and writing them down. It was more like a witness statement or a story written by a 9 year old.

I guess what happened 2 weeks ago isn't really inspiring to me when I'm more interested in what's happening now.

I'll have another go if I get the inspiration.

[CuriousJohn]

Thanks Anon. I’m not sure how I’d cope seeing it live. The most I have seen is a couple of photos they took. Even then it was a massively conflicted feeling.

I don’t know how you do it and manage to articulate it so well. Massive kudos to you.

[parheliam]

I guess what happened 2 weeks ago isn't really inspiring to me when I'm more interested in what's happening now.

I'll have another go if I get the inspiration.

Hopefully you'll find the time and inspiration to share the meetings stories here. I do believe that you should try to post all the timeline untill current day, so if something happend and you may have dazzle thoughts about it, it will be easier to put it here for oppinions and support (as you were writing in the begining, when they are fresh)

[elina]

I attempted to write about the 2 times I watched last night but it didn't make for good reading. It was basically me recalling things that had happened and writing them down. It was more like a witness statement or a story written by a 9 year old.

I guess what happened 2 weeks ago isn't really inspiring to me when I'm more interested in what's happening now.

I'll have another go if I get the inspiration.

Thanks Anon,

You are the OP of this thread, do it your way, share what you want to share when you feel like it.
Just ignore the individuals who behave as if they have a right to expect you to report to the forum, you have no obligation to do so.

That being said, please also keep in mind that there are a number of people following here who has a genuine concern for you and want to help you...

Sincerely
elina

[sucker00]

I attempted to write about the 2 times I watched last night but it didn't make for good reading. It was basically me recalling things that had happened and writing them down. It was more like a witness statement or a story written by a 9 year old.

I guess what happened 2 weeks ago isn't really inspiring to me when I'm more interested in what's happening now.

I'll have another go if I get the inspiration.

Anon,

We all appreciate you sharing what you are willing to share in you account on this forum. If there are aspects of what transpired that affects the dynamic of your relationship with your GF or your relationship with your friend, and how that affects you, then details may be of less importance than what you're going through. Many of us here are as, or more interested in your emotional well being than just hearing a hot story (which this has been). I for one, am glad to see that you're back here writing because it means that you're not bottling all this up internally, but it's your prerogative to share as much or little as you feel comfortable sharing.

I find the dynamic between you and your friend interesting based on you account. He seems to genuinely be your friend as he fended off your GF's advances a few times based on what you've written. I also find it interesting that you and he seem to have a little bit of a game going on where each of you seem to be taking to rolls as beta and bull. For instance, when he asked you about what you would do if the rolls were reversed, and you responded that you would send his GF back to him full of your cum... that was hot and I'm sure he thought so too.

[anondesires]

We all appreciate you sharing what you are willing to share in you account on this forum. If there are aspects of what transpired that affects the dynamic of your relationship with your GF or your relationship with your friend, and how that affects you, then details may be of less importance than what you're going through. Many of us here are as, or more interested in your emotional well being than just hearing a hot story (which this has been). I for one, am glad to see that you're back here writing because it means that you're not bottling all this up internally, but it's your prerogative to share as much or little as you feel comfortable sharing.

It's not that I'm not comfortable or that I'm going through something, it was all fine, it's just a lot of effort sometimes to explain something in the right way, to give full context but for it still be interesting to read. I'm aware when I read stuff back that often it doesn't come across right. Sometimes people might point out that something I said she did wasn't nice of her for example but actually it wasn't meant literally. When it comes to teasing, there's a lot of things that aren't meant badly and seemingly a lot of what I try to describe I then have to explain the intent or just not mention that it happened because I can't be bothered to explain the context and backstory Describing the dynamic between the 2 of us was manageable. Now that there's 3 of us all teasing each other, it's become a bit of a chore to explain, especially between me and him because there's so much contextual stuff.

There was some messaging between me and him the day before for example. I wrote it out in this kind of format: "he asked this, I replied this (technically was true) but I didn't want to say this, he asked this, I replied this...". I thought it was quicker/easier that way but it made an interesting conversation sound tedious.

I find the dynamic between you and your friend interesting based on you account. He seems to genuinely be your friend as he fended off your GF's advances a few times based on what you've written. I also find it interesting that you and he seem to have a little bit of a game going on where each of you seem to be taking to rolls as beta and bull. For instance, when he asked you about what you would do if the rolls were reversed, and you responded that you would send his GF back to him full of your cum... that was hot and I'm sure he thought so too.

I'm very grateful for the dynamic we have, it's been the biggest factor in me coming to terms with it. It had the potential to go so badly but we're still able to joke about it and be serious depending on the situation. I'm surprised I haven't heard of it being this way with other people, maybe I haven't been looking in the right places, maybe I'm just lucky.

The whole "if it were the other way around" thing is like our way of getting back to level-playing-field banter. In the past he would try to come back with something worse/funnier and then I would try to outdo what he said and so on. Now, he tends to take what I say and just say "noted" or something like that. We both know I can't follow through with what I say so he's not playing beta. What I've said isn't me saying I want something or even saying I'd be ok with him doing it, it's just me saying that I see it as fair game, that I wouldn't blame him for doing it, that I would probably want to do the same in his situation. At least I think that's our mutual understanding of our little game with unwritten/unspoken rules

[karmacanuck]

Mr Anon - this story is incredible. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective.

Your friend has a really interesting way of effectively getting your permission to do things lol. Do you have a limit in your mind of a line that would make you stop this whole thing, considering your apprehension at using your safeword?

I think I may have partly answered this while your post was being approved. Him finding out about any dildo sucking is off limits. I don't think they'd ever willingly spend time together outside of sex so it's not something I'm worried about. It's hard to say really. Unless you're worried about something happening, you don't really consider it a limit. Like, obviously him fucking me in the ass would be a off limits but it's not something I've thought about, worry about or think will ever even be suggested.

I think throughout this process, I've always been worried about being into things that I didn't want to be into. I think fixating on those things only made them more taboo and made me more likely to be turned on by them. My friend fucking my girlfriend was always completely off limits but it quickly became the ultimate fantasy. I think I'm in a place now where I'm not worried about being into any off limits things. It's a nicer place to be.

Thats totally fair. I guess its hard to know the limit when anything is hypothetical. You're going about it a pretty healthy way I think and not fixating on the things.

[sandy691196]

I think you haven't described your eating the cream pie thing? It surely has happened in the last couple of weeks?
Or did I miss it?

[anondesires]

I think you haven't described your eating the cream pie thing? It surely has happened in the last couple of weeks?
Or did I miss it?

I haven't described the last couple of weeks yet. I'm trying to.

Why's everyone desperate for me to eat creampie? And why does everyone think I would?

[coastalkid]

Why's everyone desperate for me to eat creampie? And why does everyone think I would?

Natural escalation, people expect it. It'll be something else after that. Everybody has their own "showstoppers" or non-starters. You know what you want and what you don't. Stick with that.

[Topnotch]

You're totally overthinking all this. If it's real

[venus-can99]

I haven't described the last couple of weeks yet. I'm trying to.

Why's everyone desperate for me to eat creampie? And why does everyone think I would?

Eating cream pie is something that many here seem to expect of a cuck. This is an intimate act and is entirely among the three of you and mainly your preference. Please share as much or as little as you are able. IMO many readers need to acknowledge that there is a lot of discussion among the three of you that’s not sexy or erotic but makes this dynamic successful.

[anondesires]

The Friday before the first time I watched, we were getting intimate, teasing each other. She was asking if I was feeling ok about watching, I said I was a bit nervous but wasn't too worried about it. She asked how I was feeling about eating his creampie. I said I probably wouldn't do it, she teased that she thought I would, in the heat of the moment. A bit later, she was edging me and she suggested that maybe she should give me some encouragement (after she gets creampied), maybe sit on my face and give me no choice. I said I didn't want that. She said she thought I did really. She kept getting me close to cumming with her hands and then backing off and frustrating me. She told me to imagine I had his creampie in her pussy and then she squatted over my face, still edging me, she got really close and then slowed a few times. On like the 3rd time she got agonisingly close, I reached up with my mouth and pulled her hips down with my hands and ate her pussy frustratedly as she let me cum. I told her it didn't mean I wanted her to do it for real. She disagreed. I said I might be using the safe word for the first time if she pulls anything like that.

The next day (the day before him coming over) he was messaging me and was rambling about how he'd been thinking about what I had said about being able to indulge his foot thing with my girlfriend. He asked if I had told anyone other than my girlfriend about my fantasies, I said I hadn't. He said he felt bad for me having to keep it secret but understood why and knew how that felt. The conversation felt weird, we didn't really do heart to hearts, it felt like he was going somewhere with it so I went along. He said how good it was that my girlfriend hadn't judged him for it and he felt like he owed me the same, considering he was getting to fuck her. He said that although he found the situation funny, he didn't mean any disrespect, he asked if I knew what he meant and I admitted I would probably feel the same in his shoes.

Him: So how far down the rabbit hole are you?
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Like, does she have you wearing a cage and shit?
Me: No, nothing like that.
Him: Have you licked up cum? (I'm not judging)
Me: Again, no.
Him: Do you get turned on by humiliation and stuff?
Me: It seems that way
Him: What's that like?
Me: It's an odd one to get used to
Him: Is your dick small?
Me: A bit below average, probably
Him: Does it turn you on if she tells you it's small?
Me: Pretty much
Him: What if I said it?
Me: I don't know, why? You want to flirt with me and turn me on? ​
Him: I guess I need to be careful I don't turn you on when I throw shade at you ​
Me: I think you're probably safe
Him: Do you struggle to satisfy her?
Me: Are you my therapist all of a sudden?
Him: ​ Nah, I'm just curious, sorry.
Me: How do you know so much about it anyway?
Him: I guess it's always been a fascination that guys could be into that kind of thing. Plus I've been reading up on it since you told me.
Me: Great, not you as well, she's been studying it like she needs to write a dissertation on the subject.
Him: I bet she's been pushing buttons you didn't even know you had ​
Me: Exactly!
Him: Does she peg you?
Me: No!
Him: Have you ever had the urge to suck her lover's cock? (Again, not judging, some cucks get the urge apparently)
Me: You're her "lover", you're asking if I've ever had the urge to suck your cock? ​ No! Never!
Him: Well you said you watched her with that other guy, I don't know what happened there! Like I said, I'm not judging.
Me: Nothing happened, I watched and then fucked her after.
Him: Did he cum inside her?
Me: Yes
Him: But you didn't go down on her?
Me: No
Him: But sloppy seconds?
Me: Correct
Him: How was it?
Me: Sloppy ​
Him: Looking forward to more? ​
Me: Not something I've given any thought
Him: Sorry ​ It's kinda hot that you're gonna
Him: Did you go down on her after last time?
Me: Enough with the questions already
Him: That means you did then? Honestly, I'm not judging, I'm just curious and that's kinda hot too
Him: Are you going to tomorrow?
Him: Sorry.

Sunday morning...

Him: Seriously though, if there's anything you'd like me to try, just say, I can't promise anything though
Me: No, just whatever you did last time I guess.
Him: Sure thing ​
Me: Is there anything you'd like to try?
Him: Well... you stopped talking to me last time...
Me: Anything else?
Him: Ha, nah, a repeat of last time is good with me

[monraccoon]

hotttttt.

that is all.

[sucker00]

OMG...Anon. If your GF and your friend start talking too much, they're going to start a game to push all your buttons!

[wannabecUKold]

That was great conversation. Quite funny. Made me smile. All these internet experts knowing about creampies and sloppy seconds!
There were a number of options there that I would have said yes to.