A virtual cuckold?

[newaussiecuck]

I also haven't mentioned another young park girl who appeared a few weeks ago. I've now seen her there 3 weeks in a row. I haven't and won't try anything with her apart from talking as a friend and fellow dog owner. She's quite young and looks it, probably PG1.0's age of around 20, I just found out today that she's also from VN background, and in a month will go on a 6 month overseas trip before moving to a different country. I do wonder if she's somehow befriended me to see how I am and whether I'm trying to just pick up anyone and everyone. I've behaved myself.

[newaussiecuck]

I also haven't mentioned another young park girl who appeared a few weeks ago. I've now seen her there 3 weeks in a row. I haven't and won't try anything with her apart from talking as a friend and fellow dog owner. She's quite young and looks it, probably PG1.0's age of around 20, I just found out today that she's also from VN background, and in a month will go on a 6 month overseas trip before moving to a different country. I do wonder if she's somehow befriended me to see how I am and whether I'm trying to just pick up anyone and everyone. I've behaved myself.

When I went again tonight there was yet another two VN girls (Vietnamese) probably again early 20's but ummm yes I do have to say very very attractive (did I say very?). Ummm, who puts on make-up to go to a dog park? I did speak to them a bit (as I do all newcomers) and they made a bit of a fuss over my dog. Hopefully I didn't make too much of a fool of myself.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm currently at mother in law's place and just replaced her bathroom tap for her as it was leaking. I dropped her dog back home straight from the park. Wife stayed home. I'd asked if she was coming to her mum's place with me and she said "I wasn't planning to" pause "I can come if you want me to" so I said "That's ok, it's up to you if you want to come" and I just left it at that. So I ended up just going on my own.

Nothing has changed, except for no computer time. There's still not one but two missing laptops. I have zero idea where they could be.

In one sense it's good that she no longer seems to be trying to force herself on me, I can feel a bit more relaxed again. However on the other hand I'm very dissapointed that she hasn't apologised or tried to make amends from her actions when she can clearly see I'm still very upset about everything. Seems she just truly doesn't know how to apologise (I've never once seen it our entire relationship) and seems like she's expecting me to apologise to her and make up to her. I always do, and always have.

Now I have to decide whether I want to go that route again and apologise and make it up to her when she was the one that had another relationship for nearly 3 years and missed so many important milestones in my life.

It kind of feels like we're really over.

[newaussiecuck]

Things with us are kind of going ok, but definitely some backwards steps after my trip away. Missing the wedding and my dad's funeral is kind of a big deal with me. I wanted to watch the recorded video of my dad's service with her to at least share it with her in some way, but she doesn't want to watch it. She said maybe next month as it would be too soon for me, but I think that just means it will never happen. I'm planning for a trip away again in a month or so to see my mum again, so it will be interesting to see if she finally comes along for this trip. If not, then this will likely be a big trigger point for further discussion/action. I think she will come though.

I also didn't receive the big welcome home I was hoping for, mostly because I came home with a head-cold and she didn't want to be near me for that reason. However the distance has kind of stuck again. No more snuggles on the couch or very early to bed nights. However, they're not REAL late like they were when things were really bad. We're also taking time to do some day trips or picnics etc on weekends. So things have definitely improved there from even a few months ago.

She was online most of the day during our wedding anniversary, I was off with the dogs at the dog park for a lot of it. No sex or hanky panky on that day. Last time for sex was last time I mentioned a month or two back. However I did get a handjob on Sunday morning which is the only sexual interaction we've had since that last time I wrote about.

I just re-read a couple of older posts. This one says quite a bit, from October 2022 on page 11. My prediction was right, watching the recorded service never happened.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm also starting to take a little bit of notice of another lady at the park, who is very much closer to my age. I've seen her there quite regularly for probably 18 months. When she was first coming I'm pretty sure I remembered she had a partner, not sure if they were married or not. Then there was a period of a few months when I never saw her. Then the last 6 months she's been coming regularly almost every day. She was there that Tuesday night a couple of months ago when L was there, where I described the atmosphere between me and L as electric and everyone would have noticed.

After that, I think this lady might have taken a bit of notice. We somehow seem to talk a bit more. She's made a few interesting comments to me about some political views that happen to align with mine.

I just mention it as I'm slowly starting to take some notice of her, and maybe being closer to my age could be interesting. We talked a bit today. I haven't told her of my situation but she's been around enough while I've had some other conversations with other people that she might have overhead some of, enough to get the gist.

She obviously saw the way I interacted with L, and the fact that L hasn’t been around for nearly a month now. It's just interesting that we talk way more now than we used to.

I'll put her in the "interesting" category.

[whosbeensleeping]

I'm currently at mother in law's place and just replaced her bathroom tap for her as it was leaking. I dropped her dog back home straight from the park. Wife stayed home. I'd asked if she was coming to her mum's place with me and she said "I wasn't planning to" pause "I can come if you want me to" so I said "That's ok, it's up to you if you want to come" and I just left it at that. So I ended up just going on my own.

Nothing has changed, except for no computer time. There's still not one but two missing laptops. I have zero idea where they could be.

In one sense it's good that she no longer seems to be trying to force herself on me, I can feel a bit more relaxed again. However on the other hand I'm very dissapointed that she hasn't apologised or tried to make amends from her actions when she can clearly see I'm still very upset about everything. Seems she just truly doesn't know how to apologise (I've never once seen it our entire relationship) and seems like she's expecting me to apologise to her and make up to her. I always do, and always have.

Now I have to decide whether I want to go that route again and apologise and make it up to her when she was the one that had another relationship for nearly 3 years and missed so many important milestones in my life.

It kind of feels like we're really over.

If there are no apologies and no responsibility is taken for anything ever, that is unlikely to change. Unless that feeling of over changes profoundly, I would assume it's true.
However it goes, I appreciate you continuing to share your journey.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm currently at mother in law's place and just replaced her bathroom tap for her as it was leaking. I dropped her dog back home straight from the park. Wife stayed home. I'd asked if she was coming to her mum's place with me and she said "I wasn't planning to" pause "I can come if you want me to" so I said "That's ok, it's up to you if you want to come" and I just left it at that. So I ended up just going on my own.

Nothing has changed, except for no computer time. There's still not one but two missing laptops. I have zero idea where they could be.

In one sense it's good that she no longer seems to be trying to force herself on me, I can feel a bit more relaxed again. However on the other hand I'm very dissapointed that she hasn't apologised or tried to make amends from her actions when she can clearly see I'm still very upset about everything. Seems she just truly doesn't know how to apologise (I've never once seen it our entire relationship) and seems like she's expecting me to apologise to her and make up to her. I always do, and always have.

Now I have to decide whether I want to go that route again and apologise and make it up to her when she was the one that had another relationship for nearly 3 years and missed so many important milestones in my life.

It kind of feels like we're really over.

If there are no apologies and no responsibility is taken for anything ever, that is unlikely to change. Unless that feeling of over changes profoundly, I would assume it's true.
However it goes, I appreciate you continuing to share your journey.

That's correct I can't think of a time ever when she's really apologised for anything. If something has gone well it's because of her, if it's gone bad it's because of me. Sometimes that's true, she does some good things and I make mistakes being only human. However that's not always the case. I've done great things (never really acknowledged) and she's mesed up (never acknowledged).

You're right, I don't think it will ever change.

The way we're relating at present seems to be back to how things were 3 months ago while she was in her online relationship. On some level that's great as it's liveable and not crazy making. I weathered her storm, she threw everything she had at me to reel me back in but I didn't bend or crack. I stood firm and I'm proud of that.

Unfortunately it also means we don't have much of a relationship outside of what could be described as flatmates. At this point I'm ok with that. I couldn't be close to her the way she was acting so unhinged. Maybe over time that can change, but I'm not holding much hope. Remember that she had almost 3 years in an online relationship playing the role of an alpha male, she doesn't seem wiling or able to let me lead, and I can't allow her to lead anymore. She's proven to be incapable of that and made horrible decisions for our relationship.

Now that things have settled and the emergency seems to be over I can take my time to consider what/who I want and can keep an eye out again for someone nice just as I was doing before meeting L.

Right now, with L seemingly right out of the picture, my sights are set on N, the lady at work. I might see her tomorrow being our shared day in the office. I just did a 30 minute workout and was thinking of her the whole time.

There's a lot of advantages of N over L. I know where she works, and has been vetted by my employer and held her position for longer than I have. I know her first and last name. I can ask around about her with people that worked there longer than me. Did I mention she is HOT!!!!! I think I described L as "a bit cute and homely with a really nice personality". Whereas I'd describe N as HOT and I'm yet to find out about her personality.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm currently in the office and I've sighted N, well the back of her so I know she's in. I have to walk through part of her floor to get to mine and I spotted her in the kitchen.

So now I might have to either just walk up to her desk and say hi (could ask her about the work I did last week as an excuse) or just message her on the workplace communication messaging tool and see if she wants to have lunch together.

The other decision I have to make is wedding ring on or off! Thoughts?

[whosbeensleeping]

I would say to go with your gut. You are the expert on what you want.
I think there's a normalcy about being interested in attractive women and wanting to get to know them that has been sorely lacking in your life for the last few years.
I think it's healthy rather than purely some kind of escapism.
You're aware you have lots of work still to do, and I think you therefore maintain some perspective.

[newaussiecuck]

I'm currently in the office and I've sighted N, well the back of her so I know she's in. I have to walk through part of her floor to get to mine and I spotted her in the kitchen.

So now I might have to either just walk up to her desk and say hi (could ask her about the work I did last week as an excuse) or just message her on the workplace communication messaging tool and see if she wants to have lunch together.

The other decision I have to make is wedding ring on or off! Thoughts?

OK, so just as it was getting close to lunch time I thought screw it and walked right down to N's desk and she seemed happy to see me. We chatted for probably 10 minutes or so about our respective weekends. Her boss, who sits next to her, also joined in the conversation. I asked her about the show she had planned to watch over the weekend and about her walk with her sister (so she'll get a sense that I was at least listening). It's important to note there was zero pretence or mention of the work I did last week. It purely a non work related conversation.

I finished off casually mentioning what I was planning to go pick up for lunch (Vietnamese pork roll), and asked her if she would like me to pick one up for her also. She thanked me for the offer but said that she already has her lunch and pointed to it on her desk.

Obviously it wasn't exactly the outcome I was hoping for but it could either be seen as rejection or that she was already looking forward to her lunch and wasn't wanting what I was suggesting.

Either way I think she'll now have a pretty firm idea now that I'm into her and at least had the balls to approach her amongst all of her work friends (all girls) and strike up a conversation and then ask about the lunch. I guess not many people would do that. I was standing up in the middle of her workplace, all eyes on me the entire time. Regardless of the outcome. it felt good to pull that off.

If she's already seeing someone (I truly have no idea if she is or isn't) then of course she wouldn't be accepting my lunch offer. If she isn't seeing anyone, then it will at least give her something to think about.

I think the approach was casual enough that the no could be taken either way so as to not cause awkwardness which is what you want in the workplace. There's no reason for things to be awkward next time I bump into her.

I'll leave that to sink in and mellow for at least a week or so before even considering making another approach, and see if we bump into each other in the meantime.

Not the result I was after, but I can also feel good about at least making the approach and my interest be known.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I did take off my ring beforehand, but didn't wave my hand around or draw attention to it. She probably saw though, who knows. I really don't know if that was the right thing to do or not. The whole conversation was very pleasant.

[newaussiecuck]

Hmmmm, having finished eating my pork roll I forgot just how heavy and filling they are. I was even struggling to complete mine, so it's quite likely that she would only be able to complete half of one. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best offer that I could have made. Asking for tea/coffee might have been a safer bet.

However I still feel that it was good to take the initiative and show my interest and maybe give her something to think about. I don't think she was hating the attention I gave her one bit.

Having had the courage to walk right into the Lion's den (or Lioness in this case) should only serve my confidence and self esteem well going forwards I would think. I don't feel as if I made a fool of myself in any sense.

[newaussiecuck]

End of the day and about to go to bed. Reflecting on how today went. I have mixed feelings, but on the whole I still think I can be proud of my approach. I think my offer was good, and left enough plausible deniability to not make it uncomfortable for anyone (given it's a workplace this is very important, I don’t want any sexual harassment claims!).

As the conversation was winding down I literally said "Hey I'm going to head out and pick up some Bahn Mi for lunch, would you like me to pick one up for you?".

That question has enough plausible deniability that it could either mean that I'm asking her out for lunch (which I was and I'm sure she probably knew that), but it could also mean that I'm just getting an extra one while I'm there as I did for my own team mate. It had a nice easy out for her, last thing I wanted was to corner her in front of her boss and co-workers!

I don't think any bridges were burned or doors closed if there was any open. I feel that I can still strike up a conversation next time I see her, as easy or easier than before today.

It didn't feel like a rejection, she was welcoming the conversation and kept it personal. If she wasn't wanting to talk she could have chosen to steer the conversation to the work from last week, but she didn't.

She also seemed to bring up where I live (as I told her last Thursday) and she mentioned today where she lives. She could maybe even think that we live too far away from each other, but that's really getting far ahead of herself. I only say that as she brought up again that her boss lives closer to me. Maybe she was subtly trying to shift my focus onto her boss, who knows really. Her boss is quite attractive in her own right I must admit, and I would say also about the same age as N. She has also been very nice to me and always smiling to say hello etc whenever I bump into her. Maybe her boss is single and N isn’t, I really don't know.

Never know, maybe a few girls took note of my approach and might get someone thinking. I feel like there was probably a few tongues wagging after I left if you can imagine an open plan work area filled with young women.

All in all I'm glad I made the approach and at least progressed things one way or another. Better that than to die wondering.

[ResponsibullCummings]

It's great that you showed you were confident enough to approach her like that. For a linchpin it's probably better to to give some notice but at least she probably knows now you are interested. It would be best to long play this a bit and find out if she s in a relationship before asking again. I would suggest taking the ring off at work from now on. If she noticed the lack of ia ring, it might make her question why it was off that day and back on especially if you haven't left you wife before eventually asking her out. It's too bad you don't get the opportunity to collaborate more at work. It would be a good opportunity to suggest lunch to discuss the work you are doing for her.

[newaussiecuck]

It's great that you showed you were confident enough to approach her like that. For a linchpin it's probably better to to give some notice but at least she probably knows now you are interested. It would be best to long play this a bit and find out if she s in a relationship before asking again. I would suggest taking the ring off at work from now on. If she noticed the lack of ia ring, it might make her question why it was off that day and back on especially if you haven't left you wife before eventually asking her out. It's too bad you don't get the opportunity to collaborate more at work. It would be a good opportunity to suggest lunch to discuss the work you are doing for her.

Thanks for the advice and feedback! That's a good suggestion about the ring. I was in two minds about it as I'd heard that it can make someone be more attractive for some girls. I was wearing it during that lunch a couple of months back, and I'm certain she saw it then. I was holding my Bahn Mi with two hands and ring was visible right in front of my face.

I was eating Bahn Mi that day, and she made some comment about "When I have Bahn Mi . . . . " so knowing that she does eat them that's why I suggested that for lunch yesterday.

Back to the ring, I haven't mentioned it but I haven't worn in at the park for about 3 weeks now. Part of it is to get myself used to not wearing it and feeling single again for my own well-being as much as trying to look available. I was also hoping the right person might notice and the message get back to L somehow.

When I went to N's desk yesterday I was carrying my laptop and mentioned that I was down on her floor helping someone else (another young lady). She asked all about who I was helping and what I was helping them on. So I went with that excuse as to why I was there, just stopping by while I was down on that floor sounded better than making a special trip unannounced.

I've been reading a couple of books on attraction and they both suggested that in every situation always choose the strongest action. I felt like the approach yesterday was a strong action, now thinking that waiting another couple of weeks before approaching again would be strong. However I also don't want her thinking I've run off embarassed with my tail between my legs. Due to circumstances I can't do much about that though.

Yes, I'll find a way to discretely find out about her status before approaching again.

[whosbeensleeping]

Sounds like a net positive interaction.

[joel68]

Sounds like you’re moving in the right direction.

Any more news about your analyst?

Do you think L will ever be back?

[newaussiecuck]

Sounds like you’re moving in the right direction.

Any more news about your analyst?

Do you think L will ever be back?

Thanks Joel, yeah I feel like I'm learning a lot and growing pretty fast. I'm getting stronger every day physically, mentally and emotionally.

In terms of physical appearance I did get a comment last week from someone at work from a different department that I don't really know well. I was just walking through the office and someone walking from the other direction stopped me and asked "Do you work out a lot?" and I said "Yeah I bought a rowing machine and have been using it a fair bit" and the response was "Yeah I can tell . . . . " and they then pointed around the chest, shoulders neck area and said "It shows".

Unfortunately this interaction wasn't with a girl in the office but another guy lol. Don't know if he was trying to hit on me or just passing a compliment or had genuine interest. I guess regardless it seems my workouts are becoming noticeable now. If he noticed, maybe N or some other girls will also notice.

In regards to L, I really have no idea if she'll be back or not. I hope so and I feel like I'm in a really great place to see her again now. That's also why I was so keen to take some action with N yesterday, I was feeling great and the timing was right for me.

Now that I've read a bunch more I can see SO many mistakes that I made with L. I basically told/showed her I was a complete loser to allow that to happen to me (what I revealed about wife was WAY too much information). However I think I tempered that with some strength in regards to the divorce lawyer and not bothering to go through relationship counselling.

I was also being too available to her by busting my ass to leave work early on days I might have bumped into her. I should have just done my own thing and let her go there a few times without me being around. I also should have shown more strength and asked her out properly sooner. I should also have used her name a few times when speaking to her.

Basically I made every mistake in the book with her, so maybe I'm thankful to get a lot of that out of my system and learn from it.

I do hope to one day see her again, but it's also winter now and LOTS of regulars have stopped coming. Maybe in Spring she'll turn up again.

I saw the psychologist again yesterday afternoon. It was a strange session in that I didn't have too much I needed to talk about. He talked about himself a lot, he went through what I'm going through and split with his wife 2 years ago. He gave me some tips.

He also said wife's injury/bruise just before my brother arrived was a yellow (not red) flag and with her past behaviour to be very careful if it happens again. He gave some tips on what to do if she has another injury. He also said it could have been a genuine accident, but to be very careful in this area.

[joel68]

Did he say or allude to the fact that it may have been self-inflicted? And if so, the possibility that she could end up blaming you?

[newaussiecuck]

Did he say or allude to the fact that it may have been self-inflicted? And if so, the possibility that she could end up blaming you?

Yes, that's exactly what he was alluding to as a possibility.

He said everyone is innocent until proven guilty and people do hurt themselves in all kinds of strange ways and it's possible she hurt herself in the manner that she described.

However with her past behaviour it's something that I do need to be careful about.

[newaussiecuck]

In regards to N, I'll see if I can discretely ask around early next week and find out her status, whether she's single. Next Wednesday would probably be the next chance to bump into her (preferred if it just happened naturally), but should probably wait a further week before thinking of approaching her at her desk again. However it'd be good to jump right back on the horse again with a casual approach. I definitely won't be asking her for anything next time. Just a short casual conversation would be great I'd think.

If it comes up, or maybe even if it doesn't, I'm thinking of making a bit of a joke about the failed lunch attempt last week. Something like acknowledging how the Bahn Mi are quite big and maybe too much for her. I can joke about next time I'll be the lunch bully and share half a Bahn Mi with her and then steal her lunch! I wonder what kind of reaction that would get.

In regards to L, I think enough time has passed now where it might be appropriate to take some small action. I'm thinking of asking around a little about her at the park. Asking some of the Vietnamese people if they happen to know of her and her dog could be a good way to go. Remember she did say she asked around about me and knew my name before I asked her name. Seems only fair that I could ask around a bit about her. Nothing crazy, just ask if they happen to know her and her dog. If they do then maybe just pass on that I'm doing well and hoping to see her again soon. That might dispell any discomfort she might have and whether I have any bad feelings towards her for not calling or texting.

The other lady at the park that I mentioned knowing for nearly 1.5 years (I haven't named her yet as her first name also starts with N it could get too confusing) continues to be an interesting dark horse prospect. I think she could see that I have a bit of a thing for Asian girls after seeing me with L. So the other day she casually mentioned to me that she's half Asian! Last night she also commiserated with me as my football team had lost. Last time I had seen her I was rushing home to watch the 2nd half of my team's game and she asked who I supported. I thought it was pretty nice of her to remember who I supported and to see the result and then remember to bring that up a few days later. I need to come up with a name for her. Maybe PL-N for Park Lady N? I can't really call her a park girl as while younger than me, she's more mature than to call a girl.

Finally in regards to wife, things so far are still a lot better than they were. Much more stable and I don't feel like I'm having to push her away all the time. With a little more space maybe I could even re-consider any chance of maybe being able to find a way to make things work. Reading up a lot on attraction and how women test men, I can see SO many mistakes I've made over so many years. Maybe if I can start doing the right things (which are things she'll not necessarily like) and if she responds the right way then maybe a new beginning might even be possible. It's a LOT of if's though and still a LONG way to go, but just interesting the thought has popped into my head.

[Long Lurker 34]

In regards to N, I'll see if I can discretely ask around early next week and find out her status, whether she's single. Next Wednesday would probably be the next chance to bump into her (preferred if it just happened naturally), but should probably wait a further week before thinking of approaching her at her desk again. However it'd be good to jump right back on the horse again with a casual approach. I definitely won't be asking her for anything next time. Just a short casual conversation would be great I'd think.

If it comes up, or maybe even if it doesn't, I'm thinking of making a bit of a joke about the failed lunch attempt last week. Something like acknowledging how the Bahn Mi are quite big and maybe too much for her. I can joke about next time I'll be the lunch bully and share half a Bahn Mi with her and then steal her lunch! I wonder what kind of reaction that would get.

In regards to L, I think enough time has passed now where it might be appropriate to take some small action. I'm thinking of asking around a little about her at the park. Asking some of the Vietnamese people if they happen to know of her and her dog could be a good way to go. Remember she did say she asked around about me and knew my name before I asked her name. Seems only fair that I could ask around a bit about her. Nothing crazy, just ask if they happen to know her and her dog. If they do then maybe just pass on that I'm doing well and hoping to see her again soon. That might dispell any discomfort she might have and whether I have any bad feelings towards her for not calling or texting.

The other lady at the park that I mentioned knowing for nearly 1.5 years (I haven't named her yet as her first name also starts with N it could get too confusing) continues to be an interesting dark horse prospect. I think she could see that I have a bit of a thing for Asian girls after seeing me with L. So the other day she casually mentioned to me that she's half Asian! Last night she also commiserated with me as my football team had lost. Last time I had seen her I was rushing home to watch the 2nd half of my team's game and she asked who I supported. I thought it was pretty nice of her to remember who I supported and to see the result and then remember to bring that up a few days later. I need to come up with a name for her. Maybe PL-N for Park Lady N? I can't really call her a park girl as while younger than me, she's more mature than to call a girl.

Finally in regards to wife, things so far are still a lot better than they were. Much more stable and I don't feel like I'm having to push her away all the time. With a little more space maybe I could even re-consider any chance of maybe being able to find a way to make things work. Reading up a lot on attraction and how women test men, I can see SO many mistakes I've made over so many years. Maybe if I can start doing the right things (which are things she'll not necessarily like) and if she responds the right way then maybe a new beginning might even be possible. It's a LOT of if's though and still a LONG way to go, but just interesting the thought has popped into my head.

NAC - Glad to see you are doing better.
Re: the second designated 'N', may I suggest N2.
The 'wife'. Just because things may seem better at least on the surface, this is still a person who has really challenging mental health issues and until she starts and continues to receive professional treatment and agrees to take and continue with any prescribed meds, you aren't even close to being out of the woods. Sorry don't mean to be harsh, but this 'better' period could be the calm before the storm.

[newaussiecuck]

NAC - Glad to see you are doing better.
Re: the second designated 'N', may I suggest N2.
The 'wife'. Just because things may seem better at least on the surface, this is still a person who has really challenging mental health issues and until she starts and continues to receive professional treatment and agrees to take and continue with any prescribed meds, you aren't even close to being out of the woods. Sorry don't mean to be harsh, but this 'better' period could be the calm before the storm.

Yeah you're right, maybe some wishful thinking creeping in, plus she's very good at knowing which strings to pull or not pull to get the desired results.

There was a bit of cuddles and even some hand holding during the night and again this morning.

However this morning I was wanting some extra rest and around 8am there was some gentle prodding/suggesting about breakfast. I started getting up at 8:40 but then she got up and beat me to the kitchen to start making her breakfast and coffee. It got very frosty after that, headphones on while eating her breakfast.

So an extra 40 minutes in bed on a Saturday morning was all it took to go from happy nice feelings to frosty as hell. I guess she still can't stand it if I don't do what she says immediately upon her saying it. You'll note from my writings last year that was the expectation on me even back then. I can't be doing that anymore. So things don't seem workable.

Good call about the name of N2. I'll use that.

[newaussiecuck]

I also haven't mentioned another young park girl who appeared a few weeks ago. I've now seen her there 3 weeks in a row. I haven't and won't try anything with her apart from talking as a friend and fellow dog owner. She's quite young and looks it, probably PG1.0's age of around 20, I just found out today that she's also from VN background, and in a month will go on a 6 month overseas trip before moving to a different country. I do wonder if she's somehow befriended me to see how I am and whether I'm trying to just pick up anyone and everyone. I've behaved myself.

I just saw this same lady again at the park. In 3 weeks she'll be leaving on her 6 month overseas trip before moving overseas to take a job in her field. She's recently graduated.

So I asked her if she knows of L's dog, but she didn't seem to know her. I was hoping she might being also of VN background but she either didn't know her or pretended not to know her.

There's another older retired guy that goes most mornings and I only see him of a weekend morning. I asked him if he knows L's dog and he said yes the name rings a bell. I described L and he thinks that's her. I then showed him the video I have of L's dog and he said yes he's sure that was her. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her, but doesn't think it was too long ago. It was during a weekday morning.

I asked him to say hi to her for me if he sees her again. He said "So I'll just tell her that you said hello" and I said yes that would be great if you see her again.

I do still miss L, even if it's just for friendship.

[joel68]

Don’t know how old L’a dog is, but what if her dog died? Have you thought of that?

[newaussiecuck]

Yeah you're right, maybe some wishful thinking creeping in, plus she's very good at knowing which strings to pull or not pull to get the desired results.

There was a bit of cuddles and even some hand holding during the night and again this morning.

However this morning I was wanting some extra rest and around 8am there was some gentle prodding/suggesting about breakfast. I started getting up at 8:40 but then she got up and beat me to the kitchen to start making her breakfast and coffee. It got very frosty after that, headphones on while eating her breakfast.

So an extra 40 minutes in bed on a Saturday morning was all it took to go from happy nice feelings to frosty as hell. I guess she still can't stand it if I don't do what she says immediately upon her saying it. You'll note from my writings last year that was the expectation on me even back then. I can't be doing that anymore. So things don't seem workable.

Good call about the name of N2. I'll use that.

This sets the tone for an uncomfortable weekend. Just got home from the park and it's still very frosty!

I was in such a good strong happy mood last night.

Going to steer clear as best I can.