Big new development in our cuckold arrangement

[Ben_Bradman]

@subguy80 - I guess by now Jamal must have left your home after spending a month there. How were the last few days with him? Please can you share your's and Sarah's feelings when he was leaving? It must have been hard emotionally for all of you.

While the entire month must have been super exciting for you (and why not - if Jamal takes Sarah to sex heaven then that takes you to the heaven you love above everything else too), when you look back at the month what would you say were the most intense or memorable moments for you?

What's next?

Subguy, Have you and Sarah given much thought to how your relationship with Jamal will proceed when the boys return this summer? It sounds like the relationship with him has jumped up to a new plateau. How will you move forward now? It sounds almost like none of you will want to dial it back.

Ah, yes, the $64 thousand dollar question. The short answer is that much, much more on this is coming.

$64k? It sounds like something much bigger than that is cooking. I hope there isn't anything that forces you to keep the plans under the wraps for now. The suspense is killing me. Please share what your plans are, if you can. Bests! Ben.

[subguy80]

I bet Sarah might have set the whole thing up just to give them each what they need.

Ha! How do you seem to know these things, Sutter? Sarah told me the next day that she had, in fact, planned it all. I thought it was unusual for her to announce in advance she’d be sleeping with me. Usually she keeps me guessing. Early the next morning, Jamal came into my room and crawled into bed next to her. She didn’t seem surprised by that, so I think that part was planned, too. When he finished, he told me to clean her up while he made coffee, which I gladly did.

Ben-Bradman asked about some of the things we learned. I’d say this is a small example of one of them: that sometimes when you put conditions in place, things happen that otherwise wouldn’t have happened. That’s what this past month has been about. Having Jamal stay with us allowed so many little but powerful “benefits” like this to play out. I guess the big question is how we keep those going?

Sarah and I leave tomorrow to drive to North Carolina to get the boys. We’ll take a few days for ourselves on the way there to enjoy each other and let all of this “wash over us.” I asked them both for permission to travel without being caged. Two reasons: the main reason is to give Sarah and me more sexual “flexibility.” The second, practical reason, is I hate sitting down on dirty public toilets and I’d be forced to do that on the road. I’ve never been able to manage using a urinal while caged. I wondered if Jamal might have gotten some perverse enjoyment out of making me do that, but he agreed. I knew Sarah would.

As far as the other highlights, impressions or decisions we’ve made, I’ll be in a better position to talk about those when we get back. I probably won’t post while we’re gone, so I’ll be “down” for a while. Today is a quiet day of packing for all three of us.

[subguy80]

You also need to feel completely confident in the foundation of your relationship, to know you're safe letting go of control (which turns so many of us on).

Before I go, I want to make sure I don't forget about this point that rspanked made because I think it's so important, as least for me. "feeling completely confident in the foundation of your relationship" so you feel "safe" enough to let go of control. Isn't that really the key? That's the essence of cuckolding for me. Sarah and I push and pull the boundaries in ways that seem unorthodox and maybe even a little threatening, but we can do that because both of us are confident in our relationship. The other key point here is all about "control." I have a thirst for that, giving up control and knowing Jamal and Sarah are on the other end of that dynamic. No matter how crazy the journey might be, we all trust each other and that makes all the difference.

[SutterKane]

Sub, you, Sarah and Jamal give me hope! To see the three of you in such a loving and caring relationship really makes me smile! I want you two to have a wonderful safe trip. Talk about how to make what you just had permanent and how to get the kids onboard with this new way of life for all of you!

[Suchen Zucker]

SutterKane wrote: ↑ Fri Jul 05, 2019 1:37 pm
I bet Sarah might have set the whole thing up just to give them each what they need.

Which is all along what I thought and hoped was the actual situation.

My point (other than interjecting additional thoughts and views on this poignant scenario), is how difficult it would be for most people to invite a non-family member into their home and give them such power over your private home life. To have an alpha male living in my home as a quasi-equal head of household would make it no longer MY home. A private hotel room would be more inviting.

I get it - Giving up the stress and strain of being in control of this part of your life, allowed to feel helpless and to gamble your selfhood to the capriciousness of love and desire is your kink. But how much are your actually wagering in this game? What are the stakes?

In actuality, you own the gaming table and your wife deals the cards. You feel safe playing because you trust in the devotion of the card dealer to keep the game interesting while actually ensuring you will always win in the end. Just be sure the card dealer is always your wife and not her lover.

[samlowen]

I'm right there with you on the public toilet issues. Of all the things Jamal and Sarah have done/could do involving your cage, I think forcing you to sit down to pee on multiple public toilets might be one of the worst!

It's wonderful to read about how great this has worked out for the three of you. Congratulations on the trust and love the three of you have for each other. Without those things it's quite a different experience, not ideal.

[frank r]

You also need to feel completely confident in the foundation of your relationship, to know you're safe letting go of control (which turns so many of us on).

Before I go, I want to make sure I don't forget about this point that rspanked made because I think it's so important, as least for me. "feeling completely confident in the foundation of your relationship" so you feel "safe" enough to let go of control. Isn't that really the key? That's the essence of cuckolding for me. Sarah and I push and pull the boundaries in ways that seem unorthodox and maybe even a little threatening, but we can do that because both of us are confident in our relationship. The other key point here is all about "control." I have a thirst for that, giving up control and knowing Jamal and Sarah are on the other end of that dynamic. No matter how crazy the journey might be, we all trust each other and that makes all the difference.

Subguy:hat

It is working for my Beth and i. I feel secure in our own love for each other. She understands my need to let go of control. To experience this as you said...." i have a thirst for that, giving up control". I feel fortunate that SIR like your Jamal understands and the three of us are enjoying the exploration of new rules. I don't regret one moment of our journey, even the times that were hard for me to accept.Good luck!
beta boy - frankie

[cuckoldtipp]

Subguy any updates?

[SutterKane]

Are you guys back from picking up the kids?

[subguy80]

We’re back. It was a nice quiet time with Sarah and the boys. We needed that. I don’t have the energy right now for a big “round-up post” of everything about our month with Jamal, but here are some top-liners:

We both enjoyed the month with Jamal and we’re looking into “options” of finding some “middle ground.”

Sarah admitted she needs to have frequent sexual contact with Jamal. I saw how happy and “alive” it made her and we both reaped the benefits of that. I loved seeing her that way. The next few weeks will be challenging since the boys will be home during the day, but almost daily sex is our goal.

This next idea is hard to describe. While he was with us, a connection began to develop between Jamal and me. The connection for almost a year has been between him and Sarah, with me benefiting by an occasional inclusion in the play or living vicariously through them. The connection that formed was clearly a submissive role for me to him. Sarah and I talked about how that might play out. For lack of a better term, I’ll use the word “serving” him, although I don’t like that because it implies me being a servant to him. It connotes images of me bringing him cocktails while I’m dressed in high heels and panties. That won’t ever happen, trust me, I haven't ever nor will I ever dress that way (although nothing against you guys who might enjoy doing that). It’s serving him mentally and probably in some sexual capacity at times. I think that would take the power dynamic to its logical next step. Sarah and I talked a lot about that and she said she’d like to try going in this direction, as well. We decided that she’d talk to Jamal first and then all three of us would talk.

It’s back to work for me tomorrow.

[offendedgame]

First, Welcome back.

For lack of a better term, I’ll use the word “serving” him, although I don’t like that because it implies me being a servant to him.

How about the term being "inferior" or "subservient" to him?

[subtoall]

Hot damn. These new developments are incredibly exciting and I'm glad you get the chance to explore this part of your personality. Service can take many forms. None of them need make you uncomfortable (er, well not too much!). Framing it to be serving the couple (Sarah and Jamal) as opposed to just him is another way to make it fun. For example, doing personal chores for him can be framed to be freeing up his time so that he can give Sarah a good fuck or take her out on a fun date.

Additionally, as she becomes more submissive to him, your submission to her can be essentially transferred to him. For example, when you're wanting release from chastity, and you've always asked Sarah for that, it could be really sexy to have her cavalierly say something like: "You'll have to ask Jamal for that. He's in charge of us now, remember?"

I'm really thrilled for you guys for where you're taking this. It's all just sexy play, so have fun with it!

[subguy80]

Framing it to be serving the couple (Sarah and Jamal) as opposed to just him is another way to make it fun. For example, doing personal chores for him can be framed to be freeing up his time so that he can give Sarah a good fuck or take her out on a fun date.

Additionally, as she becomes more submissive to him, your submission to her can be essentially transferred to him. For example, when you're wanting release from chastity, and you've always asked Sarah for that, it could be really sexy to have her cavalierly say something like: "You'll have to ask Jamal for that. He's in charge of us now, remember?"

Re: your observation about the personal tasks. Yes, the laundry and cleaning the kitchen are two examples. I quickly realized that when I performed them, it did, in fact, free up time for them, together. They could leave the house or go off to the bedroom. It made doing the task hotter for me.

I don't know if Sarah would ever say, "He is in charge of us now." It might come to that, but I don't think she or he thinks he is in charge of "her" right now. Still, I can certainly see her telling me, even today, "You'll have to ask Jamal because he's in charge of the keys." I wasn't caged during our vacation, but he put me back in when we got back. Sarah has veto power, but he is making most of the calls re: the cage.

[Ben_Bradman]

@Subguy80 - I am glad that you had Sarah had the much needed vacation. Did you get opportunity to have PIV kind of sex with Sarah during that period?

Currently during the kids vacation period, how are you going about achieving the goal of almost daily sex for Jamal and Sarah?

I get the feeling that you are holding back a big announcement? Am I right?

[frank r]

SUBGUY80 -

Just a word about making a list of things I would never submit to as cuckold , especially when it came to orders the Alpha Bull might give.
With time my list of things I would never submit to, has virtually been erased. I know, as you read this, you reaffirm what you said. I understand!
Just be know there is more peace and heat in submission.
Frankie
p.s. I would imagine he will soon hold the keys to the cage.

[bradisalpha]

We’re back. It was a nice quiet time with Sarah and the boys. We needed that. I don’t have the energy right now for a big “round-up post” of everything about our month with Jamal, but here are some top-liners:

We both enjoyed the month with Jamal and we’re looking into “options” of finding some “middle ground.”

Sarah admitted she needs to have frequent sexual contact with Jamal. I saw how happy and “alive” it made her and we both reaped the benefits of that. I loved seeing her that way. The next few weeks will be challenging since the boys will be home during the day, but almost daily sex is our goal.

This next idea is hard to describe. While he was with us, a connection began to develop between Jamal and me. The connection for almost a year has been between him and Sarah, with me benefiting by an occasional inclusion in the play or living vicariously through them. The connection that formed was clearly a submissive role for me to him. Sarah and I talked about how that might play out. For lack of a better term, I’ll use the word “serving” him, although I don’t like that because it implies me being a servant to him. It connotes images of me bringing him cocktails while I’m dressed in high heels and panties. That won’t ever happen, trust me, I haven't ever nor will I ever dress that way (although nothing against you guys who might enjoy doing that). It’s serving him mentally and probably in some sexual capacity at times. I think that would take the power dynamic to its logical next step. Sarah and I talked a lot about that and she said she’d like to try going in this direction, as well. We decided that she’d talk to Jamal first and then all three of us would talk.

It’s back to work for me tomorrow.

Subguy,

It seems you are in denial about the things you day you will never do. Last year at this time you probably we’re saying you will never do some of the things you are doing today !!

Your list of things that you say you will never do is becoming messy with the things you keep crossing off. Your list is becoming smaller and smaller, isn’t it ?? I wouldn’t linger too much in that list .. it really won’t matter soon !!

What does matter is that as you progress and grasp onto your submissiveness, each door that opens will be more exciting and pull you further down that dark path.

Enjoy it.. it will only get more exciting !!

Brad

[subguy80]

What does matter is that as you progress and grasp onto your submissiveness, each door that opens will be more exciting and pull you further down that dark path.

Enjoy it.. it will only get more exciting !!

Brad

In that spirit, I have some announcements that some of you have been anticipating, maybe even expecting. After a lot of honest discussion, Sarah and I have decided to take the leap and Jamal will be moving into our house full time.

First of all, let me address the question of cuckolding with children. Let me assure all of you, the effect on them is our first and utmost concern. Sarah and I have been talking to a child psychologist for months now and we’re doing it with her counsel. We’ll be vigilant about how this affects the boys, but judging by their excitement when we told them, we’re off to good start. They have gotten to know Jamal fairly well over the past year, see him often and think of him like an uncle who is hipper and “more fun” than their parents. Obviously, it’s one thing to have your parents’ friend stay in your house and another thing to know this friend is fucking your mother. All I will say about that is we understand the seriousness of handling this properly and feel we’re equipped to do it.

I know some of you will be appalled and you’re welcome to your opinion. This is a private affair and we’ll handle it privately, so don’t be offended if I don’t respond to some of your comments or questions.

Second, and this is something that I will talk a lot about as it evolves, is that I’m giving up any concerns about boundaries I’ve been holding onto. I’ve talked about my feelings and needs to be submissive with Sarah and she’s been my strongest proponent and supporter. I’ve told Jamal that I have something to say to him and Sarah tomorrow. I tend to like “rituals” and think they serve a purpose. I’ll be naked, caged and on my knees in front of them, my hands clasped behind me. I’ll tell him I need to “serve” him and submit to him. I’m not exactly sure what I’ll say, but I have some ideas. I’m sure he’ll ask me what I mean by “serving” him. Again, I don’t exactly know, but I will introduce the idea of being sexually submissive. I have a mindset that I want to achieve, this sub and dom dynamic. We’ll just hope he “gets” it. Sarah says he will. I suspect they’ve had some discussions between themselves.

I’m home today. Sarah and I are meeting with a home re-modeler (not Aaron). We’re going to make a door between the main bedroom and the adjoining spare bedroom (where I have been sleeping) and some other improvements to "my" room. That will allow for Sarah to go between rooms without having to use the hallway. Jamal will move back in next week or the week after. So, here we go.

[samlowen]

Congratulations on this big step! How exciting! I think the door between the rooms is a great idea. Who will be sharing the master bedroom with Sarah? What does the psychologist say about the potential effect on the kids if you are permanently moved to the other room?

[subtoall]

Wow. What a wonderful development for you all. You ARE equipped to handle this. Kids need to know that they are loved and that their parents love each other. Anything beyond that that doesn't threaten that will be met with a shrug. Not that they'll know anything about their parent's sex and romantic life beyond what any other kids know about their own parents. You and they will be fine.

Unfortunately, I can't help you much with the morality brigade. Stay strong!

My enjoyment of following your saga is going to go up by x100. Please, no matter what scorn you suffer from the OHW scolders, please continue to post about your journey.

If you hadn't yet earned the title of your thread, you've earned it now!!!

[Ben_Bradman]

What an massive announcement!! It is clear that you and Sarah have been preparing for this since months. Consulting a child psychologist certainly must have been very helpful - so that was wise.

Looking forward to hearing more from you on this - thoughts, concerns, other details. I always thought this was the best thread on this forum. Now you have broken your own record by 10x.

I wish you all the best wishes for a very happy and enjoyable life together!

[Guhunkadorn]

Congratulations.

How are you going to explain his moving in to Sarah's parents? ( or yours'? )

Back a ways in your thread I mentioned my friend and the dynamic in his house. Haven't been there to try to get him to open up more about it but know it's still ongoing and their son and daughter are doing very well and fully know that mom's 'very good friend' is also her regular FWB.

[SutterKane]

You well know my feeling on this move and that you three are entering on a new more open poly relationship. Take care of each other and the kids and disregard everybody else.

[Xalar11]

I know some of you will be appalled and you’re welcome to your opinion. This is a private affair and we’ll handle it privately, so don’t be offended if I don’t respond to some of your comments or questions.

I have to admit I'm curious, can I ask which one of you, Sarah or you, came up finally with the idea or made the suggestion of Jamal moving in with you full time? Have you reached this decision during the last week when you and Sarah had a few days alone with eachother or already before?

I assume finally it was you, who first voiced out loud this idea, correct me if I'm wrong? But don't you think Sarah subtly pushed you in this direction, maybe even in prior agreement with Jamal? About the sleeping arrangement I guess they will sleep in the master bedroom and you move to the adjoining spare room? If this is indeed the case, I really would beg you to rethink at least this. As unlikely as it seems to you but if suddenly one of your boys would enter the main bedroom and wouldn’t find you and their mom, but their mom and Jamal, maybe even in a compromising situation, well, I don't think I need to tell you what possible dire impact this could have on them.
I know you probably will this has never happen that one of your sons was suddenly in your bedroom, but you can't deny the possibilty that this danger exists. And alone the sheer existence of such a danger, as unlikely as it seems, should actually make you rethink the sleeping arrangements.
I mean, no problem with building a door between the rooms so you can move between the rooms without needing to use the hallway, but I don't think I exaggerate when I say for the sake of your sons, let Jamal use the spare room and, if Sarah should spend the night with Jamal, let her return in the early morning hours to you in the master bedroom, just for all cases. Is there any hope you'll agree with me on this point?

One last thing, at that point your statement was a little unclear to me, probabely I just misinterpreting your message, but will you and Sarah really tell your sons that their mom is "sleeping" a.k.a. having sex with Jamal? Or will you only tell your sons Jamal is moving in?
Please, could you clarify this.

Many questions I hope they aren't too intimate and you could answer them

[offendedgame]

Wow!
All i can say is, thank you for sharing your amazing life with us.

[subguy80]

I knew some of you guys would have questions. They are good ones. One of the most important things the psychologist told us to remember is that children don’t want to know anything about their parents’ sex lives and probably won’t ask or want to know much detail. They don’t see their parents as sexual beings. If they do ask, don’t lie. Be prepared for an answer that addresses their question but resist the need to feel we need to explain everything.

Jamal will ostensibly move into the remodeled guest room. We’ll do the switching around after the doors are closed. Our boys are past the age where they come running into our room and jump into bed with us, so that’s not an issue. The displays of affection between Sarah and Jamal in front of them will be very limited. The sex component won't be discussed with them until it feels right, which I hope is quite a while.

Some of you have already mentioned that children need to be reassured during times of change that things are still secure, that they’re loved and their parents love each other. Sarah and I talked with the boys and told them it had to be a “family” decision and they had to agree. Afterwards, Jamal talked to them and asked if it was OK if he moved in. They seemed pleased to be asked and to be involved in the process. They also know they have “veto power.” They were most excited that Jamal would now have more time to coach them with their softball and soccer. I’m at every one of their games, but I’m not talented like he is and he’s been a big help. It’s part of the “non-sexual” benefit he brings.

The boys spend a lot of time with their cousins at my brother’s house. I decided to tell him because I don’t want him hearing it from the boys. I didn’t tell him the whole cuckold story, but that Jamal is a FWB. He said he already assumed that and said it was our business. He also said he admired us, which helped tremendously to hear and have his support. I know it won't always be that way with people. Sarah’s parents divorced several years ago and her father moved back to Denmark and remarried. He’s a bit of a free spirit, himself, and won’t have an issue. My parents, on the other hand, will be more challenging. They’re in North Carolina for the summer, so we have a little reprieve.

Jamal comes over today after work at 8:00 p.m. and I'll have my big talk.