progress story

[Breaker445]

Thank you all for the continued interests and posts. I apologize I haven't been posting lately, there just hasn't been anything to update about and if it's anything they are just small little tidbits that I hold out hope will turn into something bigger, but they don't. Admittedly it's rather frustrating that any and all talks have seemed to vanish from her. We were having some consistent talk and the communication seemed to be opening up, but that all came to an abrupt halt. I am fairly certain Dylan is out of the picture as there has been no mention at all about him, even though she seemed to be getting more comfortable in talking about them.

Like I've said earlier, I introduced this idea and fantasy to her, but I can't tell if she is slowly and methodically conditioning me to turn this into what works for her and how she wants it. Which if that is the end result would be extremely hot and exciting, or if she is ignoring it all together, no longer playing and I am just sitting here conjuring up these ideas in my head. That's the frustrating part, I don't want to push things as I eagerly wait to see if she is slowly turning this into exactly how she wants it, but then I seem to be waiting and waiting and not knowing if it all ends up going nowhere.

The reason I hold out hope that there is a positive direction from her is the little tidbits of comments or things she does that is almost like a reminder that she knows she has the green light. Quiet frankly although there are just too many to remember over the last couple weeks and months, they are also too little to remember them all to put into a post. So I will go to one developing thing that I've taken great notice to.

Tying back to why I think she could be methodically and slowly turning this all into exactly how she wants it to work, she made a comment the other night that made me realize, when she has "alone" time, it's her time, there is zero expectations from her that I am involved whatsoever and even though she knows I'd love to be involved it doesn't even cross her mind. So, she recently had to buy a new vibrator and I suggested to her she could get one anytime she wanted. I left the offer open that if she wanted I could go and get her one. She let me know that she would be getting a new one and that she would pick it out and get it. That conversation took place a month or so ago and I thought she'd let me know she got one. Well she never did, I noticed she got a new one, but she still hasn't told me she got a new one. Bringing us to the other night when we were watching TV and there was a women excited about her upcoming night with her significant other and she had laid out wine, condoms and a vibrator. Now this was like the second time in the week we watched someone on TV of a woman openly mentioning the use of a vibrator with her boyfriend/husband. My wife made the comment of she didn't see why women use their vibrators with her significant other. She said, "That's my time, that has nothing to do with you." She looked at me knowing I'd love to be apart of it she said, "You'd love to be apart of it though wouldn't you?" I quickly and excitedly said yes in reply and she just chuckled and said, "No, that time is about me, I don't need or want you around." I was a bit disappointed because she knows how big of a turn on that would be for me to be involved in some way when she uses it. But it came across as 'I know you'd love it, but nope, not about you, it's about me and I enjoy my alone time'.

Alright so I mentioned in my last post that she had hung out with some girlfriends and she gossiped about how she thought one of the women was having a fling with another man. Well this group of girlfriends is a relatively new group to her but she has been hanging out with them more, she knows a couple of the women in the group from work. But the more she hangs out with them the more intrigued it seems she gets of the dynamic between the women in the group and Jason, the guy she thought one of the women was having a fling with. My wife started out by saying how much Jason and her friend flirt. Then she'd go on to say how much Jason seems to flirt with the other women and she thought it was so weird because she thought Jason was married himself. I recently hung out with them myself at a get together and I noticed the flirting between the women and Jason and the confidence he exerted around them. I brought it up to my wife afterward, that the flirting was noticeable and thought it was strange since he was married and to our knowledge his wife was also friends with these women. Well fast forward, and my wife recently finds out that Jason is actually no longer married. Her interesting comment was when she told me about it, she made it sound like that made the flirting by him and the other women acceptable and no big deal, completely ignoring that all the women, including the one she thought was having a fling with him were married. Even more interesting was my wife adding the comment, "Ah! That makes him texting me asking about information about the get together at (friends house) way more understandable." First my head raced with thoughts of 'HE TEXTED YOU!?' and 'HE HAS YOUR NUMBER!?' (more on that later). Since my wife knows his ex through this new group of friends, she thought his ex would text her asking her questions about the get together, but now knowing they aren't together it made sense that he would be asking questions.

Anyways going to back to him texting her and her having his number. I get why she may have it, I am trying to come up with scenarios in my head as to how she got it, probably one time hanging out with the group, he was there and with the planning of the get together, they probably exchanged numbers so they could communicate further about the plans. But the interesting part in that is at the time my wife thought he was married, so wouldn't she have thought it weird that she'd need to be exchanging numbers with him and not his significant other? Yet she did it anyway. I guess maybe not to be rude, as I am sure it was him who asked for her number. So I have hung out with this group a couple times, and the confidence he exerts is almost over the top. I have noticed lately when it comes to talking about this group my wife seems to bring things up about him more than any one else. Not like she is dreamy or anything about him, but the topic of conversation seems to center on normal things about him. Now seeing this guys confidence and pretty much knowing he has no problem in flirting with married women has certainly kept me wondering recently. He's got my wife's number, they've texted, and really he has a very easy conversation starter anytime because he could send her a text asking something about one of the friends. Then I go back to thinking about my wife's early conversations about the group and hearing the almost annoyance in her tone when she described the woman that was getting Jason's attention. But at the time I couldn't tell if it was an annoyance in that my wife was being competitive or an annoyance at the woman and wondering if she was just one big flirt that may try her flirtation on her husband, me, next.

Like I said, my mind has been curiously wondering if anything is brewing from all this. It could be nothing and I am making something out of nothing, but one thing is for sure, the potential here is much different and much more tangible than the Dylan situation. Again keeping in mind is she slowly changing the lifestyle of how I enjoy it toward how she wants it? I will add she hasn't said anything about being attracted to him or anything of that sort about him.

[Rogueuser1]

Thanks for the great update ---- how would you feel about your wife helping Jason get over his divorce? I know the choice is up to her regardless but how would you feel with someone from your friend group like that bedding your wife?
Second, and if you don't want to share I understand but what vibrator did your wife get for herself? My wife is warming to the idea of buying one --- always nice to have a recommendation!

[afagehi7]

Any chance Jason is gay? Gay guys and women flirt all the time because it's harmless. Either that or he's major eye candy? No average guy could get away with it.

[BallSpanking]

Hi Breaker,

I think your instincts are correct. Your wife is now comfortable with the idea of being a HW, even if she is not actively pursuing another man.
Actually, she may be actively pursuing a lover, and you don't know it, since she now locks access to her texting, and seems to be active texting persons unknown. The fact she copped to receiving texts from Jason, and demonstrated competitiveness about him and another woman hogging his attention, is a subtle hint that she is interested in him.

Although these things may only amount to speculation, I think you should re-engage her fantasies, increase your pillow talk and sex play involving her seeing other men. The more it is on her mind, the more her interest and probable flirtations with available guys.

Any hint or comments about the gym?
Seems to me she could always welcome some sexy workout clothes...

Cheers!

[Breaker445]

Rogueuser - That's a really good question, which unfortunately I am going to give a bad reply right now, but when I have more time I'll try to post about those feelings because they're all jumbled right now and I cant really explain it all. I guess in a nutshell I'll say the thought of it is both exciting and uncertain. As far as the vibrator she got, I don't know the name or brand, she just got it one day. It's a wand type one with like a large ball on top?

afage - Not a chance. Oddly enough I wouldn't say major eye candy either, but just a ton of self confidence and maybe that confidence is the main reason for the attractiveness? I don't know, I'm not really a fan because to me the confidence comes across as arrogance, but that's just me.

BallSpanking - I think you are right, I think she is becoming much more comfortable with the idea of being a HW. Although very much how she wants to be one. It's going to be the patience in waiting for her to be more open about the idea with me. I do agree that it may be time to bring the HW lifestyle up more again. Nothing new from the gym, but we've been busy enough that she goes sporadically.

With all the little things that have progressed over the months, I wish now I would have been jotting them down so it would be easier to explain the feelings and perspective I have right now. I go to type and try to explain what I am feeling and why and I have to stop and delete it because it's hard to find the words to write down and have it not sound confusing and all over the place. I do think she's far more comfortable with the HW idea, and I am optimistic to see where she takes it.

[foxtrot1]

Breaker you should buy her a womanizer for Christmas and name it Dylan

Also in the future just jot down the little things here not every update has to be huge news

[Breaker445]

So since my last post I again pay attention to the little things, and comments she makes that I find intriguing.

Over the weekend she went to a lunch get together with her new girlfriends at one of their houses. When she came back she said she had fun and all, but she did express her annoyance of the woman, Rachel, who she thinks is having a fling with Jason. She just mentioned things that Rachel did within the group setting that annoyed her. I just found it interesting, because this is a new group of friends, she doesn't seem to have a problem with any of the other women except Rachel. I will say, of the group, Rachel is probably the most attractive. Anyways she could have stopped there, but out of the blue she brought up that Jason stopped by to apparently pick up his dog that the woman who hosted the lunch was watching as he was out of town for the weekend. I mentioned it before, but worth mentioning again that they are all very close and long time friends, so makes sense one within the group was willing to help out if he needed. Anyways, she just sort of put it out there, and I am thinking to myself, 'what am I supposed to do with this?' Like it didn't fit the conversation, but she brought it up. So I asked nonchalantly, "Oh did he hang out with you guys?" My wife responded that he didn't and just briefly hung out and talked with the husband that helped watch his dog. So there I was thinking, 'Oookk?' Again finding it interesting she just brought up that random tidbit of information. It's like she is introducing him nonchalantly into conversation just to talk about him? I don't know. Now the straight forward and very exciting thing she brought up from the lunch was one of the women is a photographer and is wanting to take photos of my wife for her portfolio. I very excitedly supported this although it didn't matter because my wife already told her she would do it, but I think she appreciated that I was supportive and thought she'd be great for someone's portfolio.

Fast forward to us just doing everyday things and she asked me to go get her phone that she forgot in another room. I did as I was told and when I handed her her phone she smirked and said with a bit of teasing in her voice, "You probably snooped through my phone didn't you?" Thrown off by the question and the way it was asked, I tried to quickly gather my response and told her with a nervous chuckle, "No!" She just gave me a confident chuckle like to say she knew I probably would have liked to and at this point I think she is confident to know that I would probably hope to find something. That's the sense I get anyways.

That ended our weekend and brought the beginning of the week, which I figured let's start Monday off interesting. So I brought up to her a kinky toy I had been wanting to get, which was a strapon you wear on your face. I was hoping the conversation would go somewhere but it didn't, she just laughed at it and didn't carry the conversation any longer, so I figured I should also end the conversation and I did. Tuesday came and I asked if she planned on going to the gym that night and she said she was and asked why. I didn't try to hide where I was going with the question and told her I'd love to go down on her afterward and hope to taste latex. Again hoping she'd build on the conversation, she didn't, and replied with laughs, but I may add at least it was a positive response! Then today came and out of nowhere she sends me a text that told me, "Maybe you should get that "toy" you're thinking about...we could try it..." I couldn't type a happy reply back fast enough. So I can't wait to get it and obviously hope to try it out tonight! It was extra exciting to realize two days after I brought it up she brought it back up.

[BallSpanking]

By keeping a conversation ongoing about her interests, her sexuality, and other matters relating to HW'ing, you will keep the topic near the top of her mind, and also get her responses to anything new or interesting going on!

[Rogueuser1]

Love it!
What size strapon do you think you will get - about your size? Longer? thicker?
Any thought of getting a strapon for her to use on you?

[wocka-wocka]

Interesting... I think that you are still very early in developing her sexual freedom.

The sex toy response seems like she seems reluctant to new ideas in the moment. Sex is a topic that works like that. She is making progress, though!

It’s clear to me she knows you support her having lovers. She has experienced it has made your relationship better. All along, she has insisted the lifestyle should not overtake your relationship. She just doesn’t have a lover right now.
Maybe Jason is up for consideration. You need to be patient and supportive while she figures it out.

I hope she enjoys the new toy with you!

[wocka-wocka]

By keeping a conversation ongoing about her interests, her sexuality, and other matters relating to HW'ing, you will keep the topic near the top of her mind, and also get her responses to anything new or interesting going on!

Excellent advice!!!

[Tryn]

I think you should ask what type of photography her friend does what type of photos she wants to do with your wife. Hopefully it opens the door to the suggestion of a male model being involved. Maybe your wife could suggest something tastefully done, but definitely some nudity or carefully placed arms & hands to cover up nipples and/or genitals. Your wife might really like working with a male model and develop a possible lover.

[Breaker445]

BallSpanking - I think that is good advice and a good idea. It sort of is what I was thinking to begin the week by bringing sexual things up and just see how she responded and go from there. Whether or not it went anywhere at least for a brief moment it was on her mind and she also knew it was on my mind and my door was open if she wanted to continue to talk.

Rogue - The store didn't have much of a selection so I got the only thing that they had. Coincidentally, when I showed her almost immediately she said it was about the same size as me. We actually already have a strapon for her to use on me, which she has only done a very few amount of times.

wocka - I think you are spot on! The exciting thing about all this is I do think it's the early development of her sexual freedom, but that she is finally starting to tap into that freedom.

Tryn - She just does overall general type of photography for whatever occasion. So not anything risqué or anything like that.

So I got the toy and her curiosity of seeing it was almost immediate as I walked through the door. Like I mentioned above, as soon as I pulled it out of the box she made the comment that it was about the same size as me. I could tell her eagerness to try it out as she looked at it and our nightly routine was cut short because of her suggesting we go to the bedroom early. When I have time I'll try to post more about our great night of using it, but it was certainly a hot night! She had a ton of fun and of course I did too, but she really really enjoyed the whole thing and that was the really hot part.

[BallSpanking]

Congrats, Breaker!
At least you're getting some benefits out of it.
I hope it also broadens her communication and openness to include you in her adventures and intimate life.

[FFDriver]

Breaker, it sounds like you might have hit on something. Looking forward to your update on how things went with the new toy. I was also curious about the photography thing. Ask your wife if she plans on doing boudoir photography with her friend... maybe plant the seed, so to speak.

Either you've not said or it's gone dormant, but how has the dom/sub relationship gone recently? Maybe also reignite the jealousy/anxiety aspect of her dressing up and going out without you. Maybe you need to remind her, she has a 'green light' and hall pass when she goes out. Also, does she confide with her closest friends? Maybe one of them can set her up with a date.

It looks like Dylan is past tense. Presuming he knows she was available and couldn't arrange his schedule to take advantage of it, he sounds like a loser.

OK, keep up the good work... standing by for the next update.

[60dCommon]

Hey, feels like a dam's about to break. Looking forward to reading more about your night.

About Dylan: It seemed like you two were at the point where discussing her relationship with him was, if not casual, at least in the open. You'd even discussed getting them a hotel for an overnight, and she'd revealed that he might be a serious boyfriend candidate. You'd even talked around how she was getting comfortable with "replacing" you sexually if she became serious with Dylan. Would you be comfortable just asking her what's up with the two of them? Based on your earlier conversation, it seems like she might be open to talking about him. She might even welcome it.

I know your wife doesn't want cucking to dominate your life together, but she's not a mind reader either. I know it's tricky trying not to "top from the bottom," but even if the decisions are ultimately hers, she can't guide you without feedback. IMO.

Thanks again for the updates!

[Breaker445]

BallSpanking - Yes, definitely getting benefits out of it. I also hopes it opens and broadens her communication to involve me more during her adventures, which the way it has been going I feel that could be the case, eventually.

FFDriver - When she brought up the photography thing I immediately thought of boudoir type, I even half jokingly asked if it was anything like that which she laughed and said, "You wish" only to tell me it's way more formal and casual type. As far as our dom/sub relationship, due to our busy schedules recently it certainly took a backseat and nothing was going on. But recently, and definitely spring boarded by the night of using our new toy, it has come back a little. Again, not trying to over do it and constantly have it be at the front of things, but it's certainly subtly there. But there is a sense she is way more comfortable and enjoying having that subtle control and power or having me be her sub. Again, this is something hard to explain, but to give an example is; let's just rewind even a year ago, she goes to the gym, comes back and we are sitting on the couch and she scrolls on her phone. I bring up wishing to smell her socks and she likely laughs and rolls her eyes. Now, same scenario, and she probably takes them off and hands them to me and enjoyingly and almost proudly remains sitting on the couch, scrolling her phone, as I enjoy her socks. Good idea on reigniting the jealousy and anxiety when she dresses up and goes out and see where she takes it.

60d - I have the same feeling about a dam about to break. It's not a bad idea to bring up the question of what is up with them. She may even welcome it, if at the very least it's a reminder to her that I am ok with it all. Spot on about trying not to top from bottom and I think that is exactly the conundrum I am in right now. Right now with being patient and strictly being bottom, it has shown some really good, albeit slow progress. So the tough thing is walking that line. I've learned that if she gives me one cracker, don't go for the whole box, but instead appreciate the one cracker. For example; with the recent night of using our new toy, I would have followed that night the next day by bringing up how great it was and what other things we could do during a D/s session, etc. Just simply overbearing with the topic. She gave me a cracker and then I go for the whole box. This time, the next day I just told her how enjoyable and how much fun I had in which she replied she enjoyed it and had a lot of fun too. Since there's been this positive energy she's portrayed, and she's been giving little subtle hints of reminding me of D/s relationship. So she gave me a cracker and I appreciated the one cracker I got and patiently wait for another from her from the box.

[seydonar]

The thought of you being caged while she rides your face dildo is a hot idea
Good luck!
I love all of your updates

[60dCommon]

Hey, thanks for the response. I hear ya, and don't mean to be pushy.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm curious about the mechanics of using your new toy. If you're in the mood to write more about what you do/did with one of those, I'd be interested in reading about it. My wife enjoyed oral with a regular dildo inside her, but we never tried one that straps on the giver's face.

[Breaker445]

seydonar - I wish I was caged as well, this time I wasn't, but that is something I will suggest at the next time we plan on using it. I think she would go for it since it would prevent me from ending too soon, even while using the toy.

60d - I didn't interpret you being pushy, so no worries. The new toy is a strap that goes around my head, a ball gag for me, and on the other end of the ball gag is a dildo for her. It was an intensely hot experience.

So that night like I said she was eager to get to using the toy. When we got to the bedroom she wasted no time in getting the toy out of the box and putting it on me. Once it was on me she immediately directed me to between her legs, and as I did as I was told, she gently placed her hands on the back of my head to control the pace, but it didn't take long at all for her to fully embrace it. It was incredibly hot, the whole thing, but maybe the hottest experience was just seeing how much she was enjoying it. She was in her own world for most of the time, but took a moment to feed me some humiliation remarks like telling me she knew I wished it was me and not the toy she was using and calling me pathetic. All things that were very enjoyable to hear. The combination of the moment and the sensing for her dominant role made me orgasm. She realized I came and this was the major turning point. In the past that would have likely ended our time, even though I was using a toy she'd see it as I would no longer be in the mood and therefore not as enjoyable for her. She probably would have been frustrated and that would probably end the use of the toy in the future. So with this understanding I knew I needed to continue on and I showed no signs of lost interest on my part. What helped was she showed no signs of really carrying I had ended early, she acknowledged it, but it didn't phase her. I really had no issues continuing on with using the toy, it was still incredibly hot. Again, she was in her own world, enjoying it greatly, and it was so hot to actually feel like just a toy to her.

After awhile she decided to try something else. She had me stop and she got her vibrator. She took the strap on off my face and I laid there rubbing her feet as she used her vibrator to completion. It was so incredibly hot that I was fully hard again when she ended and she noticed it. She asked what I was going to do with my new hard on and I told her I could lick up my mess. She gave a positive, "Mmmmm" and although she didn't have me do it, she used me to get herself another orgasm. When she was done with her second she laid next to me and let me stroke myself to my second orgasm. Afterward it was nothing but praises and comments of how great it was. It was an incredibly intense and hot night, and it was a lot of fun seeing how much she enjoyed it. Definitely makes me think there will be future nights like this one, and I could see her liking the idea of me being caged next time so that I don't end early, even though that didn't disrupt the night.

The following day I told her how much fun the night was and she gave an overly excited response of she had a lot of fun. The only other thing that was interesting from her was the other night after having a few many drinks, while we were watching some reality tv show, a woman on the show talked about having sex with a guy after a night at the club and her friends were teasing her. My wife made the comment, "Why? I'd have sex with a guy if we were partying." The comment came across so confident and so nonchalant. Clearly she wasn't referring to me, and maybe she meant it in a different way, but I found it as a very interesting comment she let escape.

I am excited to see if she builds off any of this.

[BallSpanking]

She definitely has come around to the HW point of view. Her agreement with the woman who had sex with someone after they partied together, was free of any negative judgment, in fact, it was an endorsement.

I think her comment may not be a general statement of agreement, but rather a subtle message to you that she will fuck other men after she has been out partying with her friends, and is just fine with that.

[FFDriver]

That all sounds encouraging, Breaker. Is that the first time she used her BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend) for you - after you used the new toy on her? Maybe you should plan another session sooner than later.

When she's suitably worked up, ask if she was serious, if she would have sex with a guy if she/they were out partying. Did her statement mention if you would be with her, or her partying without you. Follow that up with... "I would really like for you to do that. I want all the anxiety and jealousy," especially if she comes home afterward and doesn't allow you a release. You could also add, "I'm looking forward to it happening."

[Breaker445]

BallSpanking - my wishful thinking is that is exactly what she subtly intended to say.

FFDriver - It's one of the rare times she has used her BOB (lol, I like that abbreviation) for me. I can only think of one or two other times she's used it for me, but the previous times was by my own suggesting of it, this time was all her idea. Her statement about partying made it definitely sound like I wouldn't be present.

We are back at moving at a snails pace. After my last post I was very hopeful there'd be a little more spice to the upcoming weekend, but alas I remain patient. A few things though I'd like to jot down so I don't forget.

Probably the most exciting thing that happened over the weekend was she had her photoshoot with her friend. I didn't expect that to be planned and happen so soon, but surprisingly it did. It happened on Saturday and she told me about the solid plans on Friday night. I didn't expect the short notice, but I made sure to express that it in no way disrupted any plans I had. I also let her know I was excited to see the photos and she just gave me this confident reply like she knew I would be. Saturday came and she packed a bag of some outfits and her make up. I made a joke of mentioning all the things she was bringing and she said the plan was to go to her friends house, do her make up and pick some outfits then go take photos. I realized then that this was an all day event. She left and I really didn't expect to be so excited waiting around for her return.

She got back after being gone all day and when I asked how it went she was really excited to tell me it went great and she had fun. I loved seeing her confidence. She asked if I wanted to see some of the photos her friend had sent her and of course I was eager to say yes. She showed me the photos on her phone, even though she took a bag full of outfits they clearly decided on one outfit as she was wearing them in all the photos. The outfit consisted of a plaid flannel shirt, skin tight dark blue jeans and light brown leather boots that went up to just below the knee. The outfit matched the time of year, and her make up and hair were perfectly done. But it wasn't her outfit, make up, or hair that stood out to me, but the pure confidence in her poses that made my heart race. There was only about 8 photos to see unfortunately, but I couldn't believe the woman in those photos was my wife. I became almost intimidated and shy seeing the photos and having her right there next to me showing me. Again, nothing over the top with the outfit, or really even the poses, maybe there was one or two poses that you could tell was meant to be a bit seductive, but it was seeing the obvious confidence in her that created the feeling. She must have known my reaction because she gave a short laugh and asked if I liked them. Through my now dry mouth I told her they were great. I asked if there were more and she said there would be, but this was just some the friend had sent her to look at. My wife said her friend wanted to do more photoshoots and my wife said she would probably take her up on her offer. I excitedly encouraged it!

Yesterday rolled around and my wife went out to run errands. I was rather bored just doing chores when a particular pair of boots caught my eye by our door. I remember posting about these boots a long time back, but they are outdoor water boots that are black and shiny, they look like PVC material. Anyways, they've been by our door for the last month or so and every time I see them I instantly get a submissive feeling. Being bored and hoping for some fun conversation I sent her a text with a photo of them telling her every time I see these I get this excited feeling of being told to get on all fours and lick them clean. They are rather dirty as you can imagine. She sent back, "Hahahaha.....you can" Ok, not really the response I was hoping for, I was hoping there'd be a more direct response ordering me to do so like I've imagined in my head, but at the same time, I didn't get a negative response and overall her response seemed more playful then anything. I didn't clean them, in hopes that maybe later that night she'd keep that thought in her mind and make me do it, but unfortunately she didn't. I don't know if she noticed I didn't clean them because she never mentioned it again.

So yeah, not a lot of anything to update on, but these are sometimes the little things that I look back at a week or two later and realize they had a bigger role then I initially thought.

[BallSpanking]

LOL... Happy holidays, Breaker.

[Tryn]

Maybe ask her if her photographer friend has a hot male model that she could shoot them as a couple? Or maybe your wife could suggest some male talent to her friend. It would at least provide the idea of modeling with a hot guy in her mind.