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Well its a small nightmare at my house now. My daughter walked in the house while Mary was with her bull and saw them making love. My wife said that she had locked the doors but the daughter has a key.
What should I do ? We have been in the lifestyle for 20 years and were very discreet while our kids were young.
We have been emptynesters for 6 years now.
Any suggestions? Should I try and explain or my wife?
Thank MT

What was your daughter's reaction? Did she say anything or just leave? Did she give your wife any indication of whether she was angry and or upset?

Mary said that she saw her watching them and just turned and left? We were somewhat open around our kids without outward signs of our lifestyle. We got the daughter on birth control in highschool. Im really worried,

I would suggest you have your wife contact her and talk about what she saw and the kind of relationship you have. Some family and friends (not kids) have found out. After a bit of shock and some discussion it became a non issue. One couple stopped talking to us. Other than that, things got back to normal after a couple of months.

Cdncuck wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:57 am

I would suggest you have your wife contact her and talk about what she saw and the kind of relationship you have. Some family and friends (not kids) have found out. After a bit of shock and some discussion it became a non issue. One couple stopped talking to us. Other than that, things got back to normal after a couple of months.

Brilliant Idea. Ideally, your wife meets your daughter at a "neutral" location- restaurant, or coffee shop.

My wife is meeting her after she gets off work this evening to try and explain our situation. Should she tell her the whole truth about us being a cuckold couple or just that I am impotent and allow my wife to enjoy herself with a boyfriend. She isnt sure what our daughter heard as Mary is quite vocal when they fuck and says to her Bull how much better they are and sometimes talks about me as her little Cuckold.

I would say the open communications you have between your wife and yourself, is a great foundation for this awkward talk between them.

Being open and honest is probably the right plan, she is 32 after all and not a child.

This being said we don’t know much more about your relationships

Less is probably more in this situation. Unless she asks questions, all she really needs to know is that you’re aware and ok with it.

Maybe you both should talk to her. Ask her in the future to call before coming over, don't get deep into details just explain you love each other but have open aspects of your relationship and have other partners and its consensual.

At the end of the day she's a human and if she's upset it's fine but you are consenting adults and you decide what to do with your relationship.

mustangtod wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 05, 2022 9:49 am

My wife is meeting her after she gets off work this evening to try and explain our situation. Should she tell her the whole truth about us being a cuckold couple or just that I am impotent and allow my wife to enjoy herself with a boyfriend. She isnt sure what our daughter heard as Mary is quite vocal when they fuck and says to her Bull how much better they are and sometimes talks about me as her little Cuckold.

Please also remember, your daughter arrived unannounced. She is an adult. Most importantly, you and your wife are consenting adults and you are not obliged to explain your sexual behavior to anyone. When your wife speaks to your daughter, she should remember she is speaking to your daughter as a courtesy. She isn't meeting your daughter to apologize for anything. Your wife was doing something unusual. She wasn't doing anything wrong.

Agree with the above that she should be honest about you knowing and approving. No need for details, just the reassurance that your marriage is solid, everything is out in the open with your approval and while it may be awkward for a while, she just needs to get over it.

You should be available to confirm you know and consent, but your daughter may not need that.

I wouldn’t get into the particulars of your kink (cuck vs half open marriage vs medical issue).

Agree with the rest here;

Your daugther is an adult,
Be open, make sure your daughter understands that this was something her mother did with your concent.

Don't expect your daugther to agree or endorse your life style, that is for her to decide.
On the other hand, you are grown ups and should expect her to accept your lifestyle choise.

Try to make it as "nothing to write home about" as possible.

Sincerely
elina

FWIW, I like the suggestion about both of you talking to her.

I'm not sure she needs to know that you impotent, and I think another person had great advice when they said "I wouldn’t get into the particulars of your kink (cuck vs half open marriage vs medical issue)".

I'd also have my wife tell your daughter- or maybe you should do this, or both of you do this- that your marriage is rock-solid.

Still and all, I think we all need to recognize that it can be hard, if not traumatic for a child (of any age) to see their parent with a sexual partner who is not also the child's parent.

I would also ask your daughter not to discuss or repeat what she saw; (Unless, say, it's to her own husband, if she's married, or say, a therapist.)

Your relationship does not need to be anyone else's business.

Good luck and if you are so inclined, let us know how this works out.

I think that your daughter needs to her from you that you don't have a problem with your wife being with other men. I don't you should give too many details.

Is she gonna find out her siblings aren't yours?

Sorry for what she found out. Our 4 older kids found out and we have had to deal with it. PM me if your wife wants to talk to my wife about it and give her some support.

I agree, it was your daughter that arrived without letting you know she was coming, i would tell her about your lifestyle now, not that she doesnt know now. This has been my fear with our daughter who is 30, she knows her mum has had lovers as she has historically seen pictures. We no longer live in the family home where she lived with us but she is a nosy bitch which annoys me. I have often said to my wife its not down to me to hide everything just in case she visits and goes on a tour of our bedroom, she is an adult and so are we, so i would just tell her.

I don't have kids, so my parental instinct might be absolute shit. But, your daughter is 32, so she's not exactly a kid anyway.
My opinion on the matter is, she probably knows about cuckolding anyway, just might not have ever suspected you guys. Although she might be piecing stuff together now. I'd say if anything she probably thinks her mom is having an affair and might be pissed at her right now.

Honestly, I think it might be better coming from you. If her mom tells her you know, she might doubt her. If you tell her you know, she might be like "Ok, lets not talk about it then." And just try to sear it out of her mind. And hope that her imagination doesn't make things worse.

Saying less is the best option. Just say you're swingers. Most people know what that is and I'd say this is close enough to not confuse things.

I think it would be useful that you tell your daughter that "you have given your wife your permission a long time ago, and that permission was unconditional". It was a hard decision, but you stand behind it 100%. Your wife has not done anything wrong. If your daughter feels upset or angry, then she should be upset with you, but not with your wife.

It actually kinds hint at that there may have been "reasons", without saying anything aloud. I believe it is fair that the husband should be the one to 'take the blame' here. After all your wife has literally done nothing wrong.

Maybe your wife can have a small chat with the daughter, to indicate that you are in fact aware and that she has always acted in good faith. Then you can be the one to confirm this, using as little words as possible. No big discussions are needed.

So many factors at play here.And not knowing your family dynamic makes it difficult to offer advice. You mention an open family life and I presume you mean sexually. You state that you helped your daughter with birth control in high school. I feel like her greatest concern is your relationship. She needs reassurance you are both good.

Nobody has a right to all your private life details. You wisely kept it private all of these years. I would start with a less is more approach and gauge how much you tell her based upon her questions. Give her plenty of reassurance of your mutual ongoing love for her but don’t over share unless you feel she needs to know more to be settled.

If this happens to us it might be more traumatic as we had a very conservative Christian family dynamic and we’re less open with our kids. They know we have changed a lot but they still see us in that light. But I feel I would take my own advice above, assuring them that mom and dad are good first and foremost and that will never change.

Well my wife met with our daughter after work at a local bar/restaurant . She explained to her that what she had seen was approved by me and has been going on for a while. Daughter asked why? Mary told her that I am unable to perform sexually so I want her to be able to enjoy her sex life. She also asked how I felt about it and Mary told her that she knows that I enjoy her having a Bf.
That shocked her but Mary assured her that our marriage is strong and that it was satisfying for both of us.
My daughter is going to call me today to talk.I'm hoping that she doesn't ask specific questions about our sex arrangement.. MT

I think the hardest part (your wife's part) is done. She'll call and of course she'll have questions. Making sure you actually know and support it. And maybe asking why you could be ok with that, etc. And maybe expressing some disgust or anger with mom. It'll all come from a place of fear that she's afraid there are problems with your marriage, not her looking for explicit details. After that I'm sure she'll just need some time to process and maybe vent. I wouldn't worry about much more than that.

So I'd say just acknowledge, reassure, and ask for forgiveness to the mom if necessary and stand by your wife. She'll accept it and move on.

Again I don't have kids. I've worked with teenage girls for a few years, and helped my wife deal with her parents divorce later in life, so I'm drawing experience from those 2 things.

LawyerWouldbeCuckold wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 05, 2022 9:06 am

Cdncuck wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:57 am

I would suggest you have your wife contact her and talk about what she saw and the kind of relationship you have. Some family and friends (not kids) have found out. After a bit of shock and some discussion it became a non issue. One couple stopped talking to us. Other than that, things got back to normal after a couple of months.

Brilliant Idea. Ideally, your wife meets your daughter at a "neutral" location- restaurant, or coffee shop.

My wife had a friend that she opened up to about us being swingers once. She was disgusted by it and stopped talking to us. This was RIGHT after she had told my wife that her husband has her fuck him with a dildo. But swinging is over the line I guess. You never know the reaction you will get out of people so, we don't tell anyone.

When your daughter calls, answer any questions she has honestly, disclose what is needed to honestly answer. No appologies are needed, just assurances that you and your wife are happy and have a loving marriage.
If she askes specific questions, honestly answer them. This is still under the important heading of communication.