Our Hotwives

I have a different perspective on the issue, somewhat.

To me, humiliation is not entirely within the control of the person who us judged to be "humiliated". It is true what you are saying that you can not feel humiliation about something which others believe you should be humiliated about, but in my experience I think what I have discovered is that I end up being humiliated nonetheless in some of these circumstances.

My wife has friends who are very young, modern, West Coast types who think that our lifestyle is awesome and like you, would find nothing humiliating about our circumstances. However...she also has friends, who, like her, are from Russia and the former Eastern Bloc who cannot believe that I am willingly cuckolded. Some of these friends, to put it bluntly, consider me to be a fool. Whether I feel humiliated or not, some of these friends, I know for a fact are laughing at me behind my back - regardless of how I feel. I would argue that to whatever extent that I'm the butt of their jokes, I am suffering some humiliation whether I wish to or not.

I am not offended by this: centuries of literature across cultures from Chaucer to Moliere have frequently enjoyed using cuckolds as a comic device - for whatever reason, many people are amused by a man who allows or tolerates an unfaithful wife. And if people want to laugh about it, I don't really have a problem with that even if I happen to be the butt of the joke. But I can't really pretend that I'm not aware that her Russian friends take great amusement out of the fact that not only has my wife has given me the horns, but that I have gratefully accepted them.

My point is that if you do not care at all that they are laughing at you, you have chosen to not feel humiliated. It is not easy, I know that, but it is possible - in my view.

There is a saying that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder '.
To paraphrase that, you could say that 'humiliation is in the mind of the beholder'.
One person's response to a situation might be to see humiliation. But another's might be to see normality. This largely depends on societal norms, and how closely you agree or relate to them.
What is considered humiliation in one society might not be considered in the same way in another society, or culture.

So, if canadianwittol experience's humiliation, then that can't be argued with. It's personal to him, regardless of what other people think.

If "they are all laughing at you", then it would be a very self confident person to feel not one iota of humiliation.

It's ok when wives talk with friends/girlfriends and relatives about the cuckold relationship
No reason to hide it

little Benita

This is a brilliant thread! I love ot read about Canadianwittol's exploits.
When I started this sort of thing, the term cuckold was not in broad usage.
It was pre-WWW (just) and we did not know the term ourselves. We just talked about her "cheating on me".
And she told some of her friends that she loved cheating on me, and that I accepted it, and I was her slave.
That is the term we used for me.
One of her friends once asked why our relationship was "so intense" and M said "D's my slave. He'll do whatever I tell him to and like it." Her friend was impressed.

My wife Linda shared with a few of her close friends that she had a long-term side piece and a hall-pass for one-offs and they were supportive and curious. I was surprised by this, expecting some sort of shaming to to occur. One friend admitted she too, had a side piece that her husband didn't know about. I thought I'd be embarrassed about it when I was around her friends, but it turned out to be a turn-on. I was hoping she'd want to share me with them but that didn't happen. They all understood that I was a willing and enthusiastic participant. Linda didn't use the term "cuckold," preferring to simply use more subtle humiliation techniques with me like reminding me she might get pregnant (I have a vasectomy, so this is a major arousal point for me), or how often her lover might be able to get hard overnight and so on as compared to me.

canadianwittol wrote: ↑

Mon Jun 26, 2023 5:13 pm

I have a different perspective on the issue, somewhat.

My wife has friends who are very young, modern, West Coast types who think that our lifestyle is awesome and like you, would find nothing humiliating about our circumstances. However...she also has friends, who, like her, are from Russia and the former Eastern Bloc who cannot believe that I am willingly cuckolded. Some of these friends, to put it bluntly, consider me to be a fool. Whether I feel humiliated or not, some of these friends, I know for a fact are laughing at me behind my back - regardless of how I feel. I would argue that to whatever extent that I'm the butt of their jokes, I am suffering some humiliation whether I wish to or not.